


The War Room

by ArianShep



Series: The Retrofit [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Conversations, Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Biotics (Mass Effect), Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Control Issues, Dom/sub Undertones, Dreams and Nightmares, Explicit Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fingerfucking, Foreign Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mass Effect 3, Oral Sex, Past Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 90,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianShep/pseuds/ArianShep
Summary: Elizabeth Shepard, the sometimes-Paragon, biotic misfit heroine ofThe Null Roomfinally returns to Headquarters (from her gangland tour of the North American continent) just in time to say hello to the Reaper Invasion.this might go without saying, but the state of Shepard's and Vega's relationship (not to mention the politics of theNormandy, etc) won't make a heck of a lot of sense if you haven't readThe Null Room. there's also a decent amount of Shepard/Alenko angst, lingering in the background like swamp gas about to erupt at any moment, that won't potentially make a great deal of sense either.chapter count subject to change. void where prohibited. please avoid operating large machinery when reading this fic.
Relationships: Female Shepard & James Vega
Series: The Retrofit [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868344
Comments: 39
Kudos: 8





	1. Get Your Ass To Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now, this is the plan. Get your ass to Mars. " ~ Hauser, _Total Recall_.
> 
> Elizabeth Shepard returns to Earth just in time to have almost no time with James, too much time with Kaidan, WAY too much time with the arriving Reapers, regain her command, and end up on Mars... where everyone meets up with another old friend.

As he turned to lead her out into the corridor, James found himself treating this situation as if it was happening to some other parole officer. Some other infamous military Commander. It meant he was able to reply when Shepard commented "Sounds important," and then reasonably asked "What's going on?"

 _What **is** going on?_ "Couldn't say." He found himself gesturing somewhat uselessly. "Just told me they needed you. Now."

They ran into his C.O. almost immediately.

_OK, **why** ask **me** to come here, get my hopes up that I'll get at least a **little** time with her - well, if I could remember how to talk - if **you** were just going to show up here **anyway**?_

Shepard recovered first. "Anderson."

Vega was a split second behind. "Admiral." _Do I sound as annoyed as I feel?_ He looked away as Anderson began to tease Shepard. _Man, she'd have castrated me if I'd said something like that._

James heard the Commander quip back - something about 'hot food and soft beds' - and tried not to react, glancing around the complex in a way that had become second-nature... whenever he was on base with Eliza. Not that there was a chance in hell they'd be trying to lock her up again-

 _Unless they somehow found out about her part in L.A.?_ The thought increased his alertness, and made his attempt to nonchalantly eavesdrop more crucial.

"-Hackett's mobilizing the fleets. I'm guessing word's made it to Alliance Command. Something big's headed our way."

_Today? Now? **MIERDA.**_

Shepard stopped dead in the middle of the passage, coming to the same conclusion he'd drawn. "The Reapers?"

Anderson lingered on the stairs to answer her, though James figured it was probably killing him to talk about a classified development in the middle of a crowd. "We don't know. Not for certain." The tall black man glanced at Vega, perhaps anticipating how this was likely to go and looking for a way out of the conversation, but James casually looked away. He allowed his gaze to slide from person to person, pretending with all his might that he wasn't interested in what they were saying, thinking _sorry, Admiral: she scares me, too._

James heard her pugnacious rejoinder clearly: "What else _could_ it be?"

The Admiral seemed to sigh. "If I knew that-"

"You know we're not ready if it _is_ them, not by a long shot."

James winced. _Way to tell it like it is, Eliza._

Anderson clearly decided he'd had enough, and continued up the stairs. "Tell that to the Defense Committee."

_UHT oh._

"Unless we're planning to _talk_ the Reapers to death, the Committee is a waste of time." She was clearly still quietly furious with the Alliance's current leadership.

"They're just scared." The Admiral blew off the intervening lack of official military action with a tossed comment. James winced and braced himself for the blow-back, but Shepard managed to remain quiet. "None of them have seen what you've seen. You've faced down a Reaper. Hell, you spoke to one... then blew the damn thing up. You've seen how they harvest us, what they plan to do to us. You know more about this enemy than anyone."

Vega winced again. _Am I the only one who thinks all of those were good reasons for her to have kept her commission?_

"That why they grounded me, took away my ship?" Shepard's voice was bitter.

_Nope. Not the only one._

Anderson pivoted abruptly to face her. He even _pointed_ at her, which Vega rather doubted he himself would ever have the balls to do. "You know that's not true. When you blew up the Batarian relay, hundreds of thousands of Batarians died-"

She couldn't take it. He wasn't surprised Eliza interrupted Anderson; James knew all those deaths still weighed on her. "It was that or let the Reapers walk through our back door."

"I know that Shepard. And so does the Committee. If it wasn't for that, you'd have been court-marshaled, and left to rot in the brig."

Vega was finding it more and more difficult to act like he wasn't listening. Their exchange had conjured up a lot of bad memories of the Null Room. He instinctively looked out the window to hide the fact that he was _pissed_ Anderson had gone there. He was even _more_ shocked when Eliza backed down.

 _Interesting._ He filed away her response for later.

"That and your good word."

"Yeah, I trust you Shepard. And so does the Committee."

James saw the impact those first few words had on Eliza, watched her soften - very slightly - in the seconds before she instinctively retorted "I'm just a soldier, Anderson, I'm no politician."

"I don't need you to be either. I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop the Reapers."

_So, what, Business As Usual, then?_

\--

As they rounded the corner, and the familiar double doors to the Committee chamber came into view, Vega realized she wasn't going to stop. Maybe she couldn't; maybe the memories were bad enough that she needed to charge forward, face it the way she faced everything: head-on. He forced his voice to sound matter-of-fact as he quietly wished her luck. She turned then. He kept his face impartial when she reached out to shake his hand, held his breath when she lingered, making him stupidly hope - despite where they were - she might embrace him after all.

_Idiota._

And then... a voice he'd never expected to hear again said "Anderson."

James glanced past Eliza to meet the gaze of the impossibly-handsome man, _also_ decked out in dress blues. James felt the urge to pummel him, merely on principle. The dark-haired biotic spoke again: "Shepard."

As she turned to acknowledge Alenko, Vega quickly looked away, scanned the crowd, blanked his face.

Her voice was sanguine. "Kaidan."

James endured another wild flash of jealousy, trying in vain to stop remembering how he'd read pages and pages of testimony that mentioned this man was her former lover. _Does she sound... happy to see him? Me quiero matar._

For his part, Anderson sounded _relieved_ to see Alenko. "How'd it go in there, Major?"

"OK, I think. Hard to know. I'm just waiting for orders, now."

_Major? Qué mierda?_

Shepard stopped next to Anderson, and James winced at the shock in her tone as she echoed his thought: "Major?"

_Yeah, if someone I loved testified against me, and then got promoted while I lost my commission, *I* might be a bit pissed too._

Meanwhile, Anderson was acting like Shepard should have somehow known, as if she hadn't been shuttling from city to city for _months_ , trying to force the civilian population to prepare for a war that their military mostly wanted to ignore. "You hadn't heard?"

Eliza's voice was steadier when she replied "No... I hadn't." James' heart broke for her anyway.

And then Kaidan was walking toward her, apparently not paying any attention to Vega... or perhaps James was doing a better job keeping his anger hidden than he'd thought. Alenko halted a meter away. "Sorry, Shepard. It's been... well-"

James clenched his jaw and tried not to glare. _THIS you apologize for? Pinche pendejo._

"That's OK. Just-" She sounded unsure of what to say, which made James feel better for all of a second, before she added, "-glad I bumped into you, Kaidan."

Vega's jaw tightened further.

Meanwhile, the fashion model was smiling slightly. "Yeah. Me too." James struggled, again, to not punch him. Not here - not where everyone would see it - anyway.

An aide walked forward, summoning Anderson with a curt "Admiral?"

Their C.O. grimly ordered "Come on," and strode away. The Lieutenant knew that summons wasn't for him, but he was suddenly loathe to let Eliza out of his sight. His gut clenched as she met Alenko's gaze when she passed by him. Even though he'd tried not to, James caught himself _glaring_ at the man, envisioning-

_Wait. Back up a second. This is **also** the man that saved your life, remember? JODER._

And... there was something _pathetic_ about the hopeful smile on the Major's face. James watched Kaidan stare after Shepard as she walked toward the meeting chamber, and felt... an unexpected flash of pity. Perhaps even fellowship. _That man is so gone._

Vega strode forward until he was close enough to Alenko to murmur "Where were you headed?" _Dude, seriously, snap out of it._

"I..." The dark-haired man turned to look at Vega, but James could tell that the biotic's thoughts were somewhere else entirely. "Anderson mentioned the _Normandy_. I think... he was considering asking me to join his crew..." James realized the instant Alenko put two-and-two together, because the Major trailed off and looked away. "It - uh - would have made me ranking officer, though, and that... didn't seem fair, somehow."

James shrugged. He knew damn well his appointment as XO had been slightly controversial, and largely based on the fact that he'd saved a chunk of the city from exploding. That someone of higher rank might end up taking over the post had always been a possibility. It had seemed less likely the closer they got to an actual war, but-

"Do you still want to come on board?"

Kaidan reluctantly met his eyes. "I... suppose so? I don't want to-"

Vega'd had enough. "Look... Major-" James gestured toward a nearby corridor that would get them out of the building, and waited to speak again until they were relatively alone. "I don't mind showing you the ship. For the record, I wouldn't mind serving with you." He stopped walking briefly and sized the man up. "I still owe you a 'thank you'."

Alenko looked nonplussed, managed to meet James' eyes again. "For what?"

James sighed. "That morning you helped me out at the job site? About twenty minutes after we left, a bomb attached to the excavator went off. It destroyed the machine... and a chunk of the building site." Kaidan paled. "Yeah. Would have left me just a little bit dead."

Despite clearly not expecting or wanting to, the biotic chuckled. "So... the headache was worth it."

Vega smiled slightly. _I can do this._ "Let me show you the ship." They started walking again, and James muttered, "But hey - if Joker's on board, don't believe a word he says about the damn power fluctuations on Deck Two."

\--

They'd been outside less than a minute when the sky darkened ominously. He estimated they were still a kilometer from the yard. James knew by the chill in his blood that this was what Shepard had been dreading for months, and it didn't take Alenko's soft cursing for him to pick up the pace. "We _need_ to find cover, Major."

"We really do." They ran.

Massive ships, black sides gleaming, descended on Vancouver. They began to fire - red cutting lasers of considerable destructive power - on the installation. Glowing metal spheres rained down, crashing into the pavement all around them. Even as Kaidan and James ducked into cover, the fire-balls resolved themselves into monsters from Vega's worst Fehl Prime nightmares: huge, motley, chunks of flesh, raggedly assembled.

They'd advanced maybe half the distance when their omni-tools crackled with Anderson's static-ridden plea for contact; Alenko answered it, assuring the Admiral they were heading to the shipyards. All Vega cared about was that his C.O. had just confirmed that Shepard was alive.

_Gracias a Dios._

They heard from Anderson again - and Kaidan managed to confirm their status - about the same time they gained the outskirts of the spaceport. _Normandy_ 's LZ was almost within sight. Unfortunately, that was also when they began to face serious opposition. And they hadn't found any weapons.

But they had Kaidan.

James finally saw Reave used, in combat, on living creatures. It was devastating. A dozen enemies swarmed the courtyard in front of them. Alenko began to glow, and then the air started to crackle with energy being drained out of the monsters arrayed in front of them. The violet light traveled insistently in their direction, imbuing the biotic with visible shielding, renewing his energy for another attack. Vega assumed Alenko's flank, taking down creatures who got too close, but they seemed to be dying even as he kicked or punched them away: still being drained of energy after Kaidan had ceased to target them.

_Hijo de la chingada. I thought Essex's Warp and Throw were deadly, but that's- Yeah. I get it, now._

\--

Eventually they reached the ship.

Vega scrambled up the open ramp and went directly to the Armory. Through the com on the Armory workstation, he heard Joker sarcastically opining "Nice of you to join us, Lieutenant," to which he responded "Fucking get us _airborne!_ " He grabbed his own M-8 - he knew the Avenger was accurate - double-checked the clips, and handed it to Kaidan. Even as he picked up an older assault rifle that was still aiming slightly left, he inquired "That was Reave?"

Alenko, in the process of automatically re-checking the gun, flinched a bit. "Yeah, that was Reave."

James nodded appreciatively. "Effective."

Kaidan _stared_ at the big Marine, then shook his head with a wry laugh. "Not the reaction I'm used to. Then again, you've seen Shepard."

James shrugged. "Not in a fight - not like that." He turned to the board, hoping like hell that Cortez had gotten the message that the fleets were scrambling in time to get aboard... or somewhere they could pick him up.

"Not during the attack on the apartment building?"

Vega shook his head. _Probably not the time to mention she didn't have her amp. Or **why** she didn't have her amp. Nothing on the board, dammit. Where was Anderson? Where is Eliza?_

Alenko appeared pensive when James glanced up. "What?"

Kaidan shrugged. "Just... my Reave is nowhere near as strong as Shepard's."

It made Vega pause. _Huh. OK. Something to think about._

The ship rocked. Vega didn't think the _Normandy_ had been the actual _target_ , but - from the vid screens - ships around them were taking fire. Suddenly, Anderson's voice crackled to life again, on their omni-tools. "Major Alenko, we're in sight of the spaceport. ETA three minutes."

Vega had barely a second to be relieved that Anderson and Shepard were so close, when Joker's voice belted out "WHAT THE SHIT!" and the ship banked precipitously.

He and Alenko grabbed at the workstations to remain upright. As James pulled up a readout of Normandy's systems and asked "EDI, what the _hell_ is going on?", Kaidan was checking the exterior view. Vega glanced over in time to see a massive ship drifting lower... from orbit.

"The _SSV Elbrus_ has taken several direct hits, and has decelerated into the lower atmosphere," EDI's dispassionate voice advised.

On the monitor, one of the Alliance Navy's nine Dreadnoughts - caught in the middle of discharging their FTL drive core - had evidently taken the lion's share of Reaper fire. Even as they watched, another blast hit it; the _Normandy_ shivered through a shockwave as the huge vessel _exploded_. James stumbled into the dubious cover of his scaffolding instinctively, barely able to hear Kaidan yelling as he narrated their predicament to Anderson like an announcer at a biotic-ball match.

"We made it to the _Normandy_. We're taking heavy fire. My God! They're gonna take down the Dreadnought! Evasive maneuvers!"

Over Kaidan's omni-tool, a spurt of annoyed static responded to his histrionics, resolving into something that _may_ have been the Admiral again. Alenko pulled the device off his arm, and began to fiddle with it.

"Anything?" James inquired, dragging a box of grenades out of the dark corner in which he'd stashed it.

"No, dammit. But they HAVE to be nearby." Alenko looked up for a brief second, and did a double-take. "You... leave grenades all around the ship? Or just the Shuttle Bay?"

Vega grinned - the evil grin that he reserved for special occasions like embarrassing senior officers in prison, or in the middle of Reaper invasions - and said "Never know when you might need more firepower. If you do end up staying on board, be careful where you poke around."

The biotic had returned to trying to resolve the static, but he stiffened at Vega's response. _Yeah. Chew on that for awhile._

They continued on for a minute or so in relative silence, interspersed with a few vulgarities from Joker as he expertly piloted the _Normandy_ in and out of altercations with minor Reaper forces; keeping with the agreed-upon plan of _not_ actually firing on one of the Reapers themselves.

"Normandy, this is Anderson, do you read?"

Vega looked up, and saw that Alenko was patting his omni-tool like a proud father. _Well, look who passed Tech 101._

"Admiral, what's your location?" The biotic walked toward James, likely so the latter man could hear better.

"By a downed gunship in the harbor. I'm activating its distress beacon. Send support - we've got wounded down here."

If James was any judge, Anderson sounded like he was _whipped_. "Joker, maybe it goes without saying, but lock in on that signal." He eyed Alenko "I'll try to get through to Command, but I don't think my omni-tool reveres me the way yours does you."

Kaidan was grimacing. "Hold that thought: just went out again."

_"Mierda!"_

The dark-haired man snorted "Which means?"

James was adding Anderson's order to the instructions he'd relayed to Joker, in case EDI had better luck getting Command to dispatch rescue shuttles. He felt the ship bank, and hoped that meant Joker finally had a bead on Shepard's location.

"It means 'we're in a fuck-ton of trouble', Major."

\--

They dropped an ordinate on the shipyard as they approached, but James - watching the boards - realized Shepard had barely needed it. His jaw slackened at the amount of biotic energy arcing across the gunship, as she reduced enemy after enemy into ash and violet light.

_**This** is why they locked her up. This. **Elysium.**_

He didn't remember seeing _anything_ like this in the vids, however, and wondered just HOW much editing Command had done before releasing reports. 

_How worried ARE they about backlash against biotics?_

He approached the ramp with the old M-8, sidling right as Kaidan joined him, unsure whether or not they'd need to jump ship to grab her. _Them. That's your C.O. out there, **pendejo.**_

Joker allowed the hatch to descend, and there she was, running up a piece of wreckage to get within jumping range of where she'd estimated the _Normandy_ would touch down.

_Nice._

James took a step- and the Major's hand flashed out toward the Commander. The Lieutenant breathed deeply and ignored the ridiculous flash of rage he felt... mostly because she hadn't needed Alenko's help at all, and had apparently ducked his touch.

"Welcome aboard, Shepard." _Does he sound disappointed?_

"Thanks." _Does she sound sardonic? This was HER ship, hombre._

Rocket and gun fire erupted from the right, and - as Anderson ascended the same wreckage - Vega slid in that direction. Alenko soon joined him, and they concentrated on laying down a suppressing barrage, preventing anything that had survived the bomb they'd dropped from swarming the ramp.

He felt the hatch begin to close before his eyes accepted it, before he managed to completely process that **the Admiral hadn't boarded**. Still - "Joker, I think we're in jeopardy of over-staying our welcome at the spaceport."

"Damn **straight** , Lieutenant." The _Normandy_ began to lift off again.

Shepard was clutching her dog tags when the Shuttle Bay closed. James heard her mutter "Exactly like my dream... Vancouver on fire. Hope it's just the waterfront."

He heard Kaidan murmur, "I hear that."

Shepard glanced at him, brow furrowed. "Your family is up north, right? Our neighbors from the tenement ended up in an eastern suburb."

Kaidan, perhaps remembering _why_ the Ibarras had moved, only replied "Ah."

"That's where your Russian friend took them." Her face closed off.

James heard EDI's voice intone "Hangar sealed. Decompressing. Welcome aboard, Commander." It seemed to wake Shepard up.

"EDI. It's good to hear your voice." Vega, pondering whether or not he should bother servicing the old M-8 he was using, watched Eliza pick up one of the heavy pistols to check the heat sink. "You flyin' us?"

He wasn't shocked when Joker mock-took-offense, "Seriously? That hurts, Shepard."

"Hey, Joker! It's good to hear you too." James watched her walk away from the Armory, heading back toward the workstations.

"No time for chit-chat. We got inbound, and we are _seriously_ out-numbered." Joker managed to sound amused and concerned at the same time. James agreed; there had to be a better place for whatever remained of the fleet to rendezvous than the battered spaceport. Maybe Shepard had gotten orders.

"Understood, but we're not staying."

_Mierda! Qué diablos!?_

He couldn't seem to stop himself; at least it slipped out in English: "What the **hell**?"

From the other side of the hangar, the quiet-voiced Major calmly inquired "What's going on?"

_Yeah. Like this isn't **loco**._

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, get help for the fight."

James saw red. "Bullshit, he wouldn't order us to leave!" _Easy. Easy. SHIT._

He realized the _second_ he'd pushed her too far. It felt the same as every other time: a cold, angry blast hitting him directly in the gut. She got in his face. "We don't have a choice." He was honestly surprised her tone was relatively mild; he'd expected more ire. "Without help, this war's already over."

Part of him saw the logic in what she was saying, but James couldn't _believe_ they were _running away_. She NEVER ran. "Forget it. Drop me off someplace, cause I'm-"

If he thought she was in his personal space before, he was shocked as hell when she got even closer and _poked_ him hard in the chest. It shut him up. "ENOUGH. Don't you think *I'd* rather stay and fight?"

_**There's** the anger. Mierda._

She was still fuming. "We're going to the Citadel. You want out? You can catch a ride back from there." She turned away from him.

Vega clenched his jaw and waved in dismay. _This is a nightmare._

Bifurcating their first argument in - James couldn't even remember HOW long it had been - EDI interjected "Commander, I'm receiving a priority call from Admiral Hackett. He's requesting Admiral Anderson."

Vega swung back around and watched as Shepard hit some buttons, clearly trying to get the coms to respond more adroitly to the exterior signal. "Patch it through." She paused, then said "Admiral, it's Commander Shepard. Anderson is on-" She stumbled to a stop as Hackett's voice barely crackled into audibility.

James wondered if they would have understood _anything_ , had Eliza not made an effort to clean up the signal. The Admiral's voice was garbled almost beyond recognition. He made out "Shepard", "sustained heavy losses, " and something about an overwhelming force. Vega glanced at Alenko, who was also frowning in concentration, and caught "no way we can defeat them conventionally." His blood ran cold.

 _I think... I knew that already. But to hear the Commander of the Alliance Navy say it..._ The Major also looked taken aback. Apprehensive.

"Anderson's already ordered me to the Citadel to talk to the Council." Her voice gave away the game: none of this was OK with her. She knew, better than anyone, that the Council was a waste of time. But she was going to do it anyway. For Anderson.

"First, I need you to-" more static "-outpost on Mars." Again, barely intelligible. It might have been "before we lose control of the system."

He watched as Eliza snapped a salute. _The dog-tags. It's official, then. I wonder what Anderson said to her?_ "Yes Sir."

More garbled information from Hackett, but Vega thought he heard something about the "Prothean Archives", and he couldn't believe his ears. They were going on some half-assed archeological investigation while Earth _burned_? Hackett kept speaking, and James stopped fuming long enough to note the Admiral clearly say "way to stop the Reapers-only way to stop them."

_MIERDA._

Hackett ended the transmission after claiming he'd contact them soon. The Commander didn't waste any time. "Joker, set a course for the Mars Archives."

Joker, no fool, replied " _Mars?_ Roger that," and Vega felt them begin to accelerate away from the planet. It'd be a very short run.

He turned slightly, only to see Alenko beside him. He couldn't stop himself from tacitly appealing to the Major. "This is _loco_."

He was gratified when Kaidan took up the thread. "Why Mars? What does he think we'll find there?"

The Commander had approached the armor lockers and was emptying one of them with speed. "I don't know... yet. But if it helps us win this war-" She glanced at the two Marines, and her mouth twisted ruefully. "Might want to salvage the BDUs, if you can. And gear up."

\--

James hated to fly shuttles. _Hated_ it. In the beginning, on Fehl Prime, it was one of the first things about Esteban he'd truly appreciated; the man could _fly_. Moreover, he loved it, so Vega rarely - if _ever_ \- had to do it himself. He liked to _shoot_ things. Flying wasn't his forte'. On the short trip down to the Martian surface, he simply hit buttons and hoped that all the fancy programming that Cortez and EDI had done, held.

He felt rather than saw Eliza come up behind him, but glanced to be sure of her anyway. He tried to tell himself she was just trying to read the screens, but she hadn't needed to actually lean into his chair to see them, let alone put a hand on it... so near his shoulder. He tried to keep his concentration on doing the thing he hated, rather than on the thing he... didn't hate.

Joker was apologizing in advance for not being able to raise the base. "I've been trying to reach Mars on a secured channel. No one's answering."

It wasn't a good sign. James wasn't shocked when Shepard followed up with "Any sign of Reaper activity?"

Joker sounded vaguely relieved to be able to reply "Negative."

"EDI?" Shepard asked for a second opinion. Vega didn't blame her. After all, if you had a trustworthy AI on board, you damn well used it. He'd long ago accepted what the soft-voiced computer program was, appreciated that Shepard had trusted him with the vague comments that had clued him in... especially since he'd been made XO.

"The base appears to be on-line. It is possible the inhabitants were evacuated," the soft purr replied.

He felt a distinct loss of heat at his back as Eliza turned and walked back to the jump seats, murmuring "We'll know soon enough." She sounded exhausted when she added "Be ready, Joker. Just in case."

James didn't know what to say to reassure her, so he stuck with the obvious: "We're almost there."

\--

The worst part of Mars, Vega decided, was the fact that they were sitting ducks from the moment they landed. He'd had to give Eliza the _rest_ of the bad news: a storm would arrive within the hour that would almost certainly cut off communication with the _Normandy_. She took it stoically and with her trademark 'We'll conquer this too' attitude.

Of course it was also trademark Shepard to order **them** to "Keep a low profile until we know what's going on" and then RUN headlong into Cerberus troops upon seeing them execute a civilian. 

James heard himself snark back "Well, they know we're here now!" He instantly regretted it, but nothing mattered once they'd engaged. It was the battle dance, just him and his gun, until suddenly... all the enemies were dead. Drained.

Shepard - still glowing - was strafing left and right, making sure they were all down and dying. He honestly didn't know what to think. It was terrifying. And it was _hot_. He was glad he'd had a chance to take in Alenko's battle acumen before he was exposed to _hers_.

The fact that Cerberus had beaten them to the base didn't shock James; he felt it was pretty much par for the course. He didn't think it surprised Shepard much, either. Only Kaidan seemed concerned - almost... _miffed_ \- that Cerberus had decided to involve themselves in Alliance matters in the middle of a war for Earth.

Even as the Commander moved into the airlock, heading to the terminal to cycle the air, Vega **felt** it coming. _You're not going to let it go... are you, Alenko?_

"Shepard, I need a straight answer."

_Yep. There it is. ¡Qué idiota!_

She turned away and grabbed her helmet as if just looking at him was giving her a headache. _Not. good._ "Kaidan..."

"Don't 'Kaidan' me. This is _business._ " James winced as the male biotic basically mirrored her body language from earlier, getting quite close to her, and pointing at her back.

_VERY. Not. Good._

Alenko pressed on, righteous to the core. "Do you know _anything_ about why Cerberus is here?"

Vega was amazed Eliza had heretofore remained _calm_ in the face of the Major's tantrum. He'd rather expected an explosion; the lack of one made him suspicious all over again regarding her feelings for the male biotic. "What makes you think *I* know what they're up to?"

"You worked for them for godsakes; how am I not supposed to think that?"

"We joined forces to take down the Collectors. That's it."

A bit more angry, but... still not pissed _enough_ , Vega felt. _Damn, Eliza, shut him DOWN. He clearly **deserves** it._

"There's more to it. They rebuilt you from the ground up; they gave you a ship. Resources."

James braced. _I have no idea where you think you're going with this Major, but you are **one** stupido chingdara._

Finally it sounded like Shepard had had enough. "Let me be **clear** : I've had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base. And I have no idea why they're here now, or what they want."

Vega realized that - even if it wasn't _strictly_ true, given he knew about her hacking - there was a way for him to both make points AND potentially end their argument. As entertaining as this was, it also felt prudent to stop it before Eliza _actually belted_ Alenko. "Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth." _Mostly true._ "No way they've communicated since." _Unless it was her telling him to go to hell all over again._

"Sorry, Shepard. It's just-"

Vega winced again. _**Stupido**. STOP. TALKING._

The room finally pressurized and she removed her helmet. Even as Vega watched, her eyes took on that stony jade cast. James shifted to observe Kaidan; the biotic was an exotic insect about to be skewered to a specimen tray, and he clearly failed to realize it.

Eliza's voice dripped acid as she turned. "You don't trust Cerberus? Fine. But I am **done** explaining myself to you."

_Annnnnnnd, there it is. Glad I wasn't the only one who got slammed for being an idiot today._

As the platform started to rise, Vega had to stop himself - yet again - from feeling sorry for the Major. _He has everything: looks, incredible biotic powers, rank. If he could just keep his mouth shut on this subject - the way he manages to keep his mouth shut on every OTHER subject - he'd have it made._

And... that's when it finally hit James. Kaidan Alenko didn't trust Elizabeth Shepard. 

_And she **knows** it._

The Commander's tone remained caustic as she added " **Are we clear?** "

Alenko's voice was defeated but - by James' reckoning - still too pissed off as he grated out " **Perfectly**." Then became conciliatory, adding "I didn't mean to-"

He never got to finish; gunfire and a great deal of banging from up ahead pushed them all into cover. They remained that way through the distinct noise of a Singularity going off (James would never forget THAT sound) and several more shots. Then Eliza slid around the corner.

Vega came up with his gun ready to fire - which he figured was the prudent thing to do - but Shepard had obviously already recognized the person doing the shooting. She laid a hand on the assault rifle and gently pushed it down. "Easy there, Lieutenant."

Again, he felt like an idiot. _Mierda. That's T'Soni._

Eliza walked up to the Asari and said "Liara." James half-expected them to embrace; it was interesting that they did not. Alenko also walked up and exchanged words with his old shipmate.

 _Big, happy, SR-1 reunion. Except T'Soni would probably as soon spit on me as greet me._ Kaidan was still speaking when Liara nodded minutely in Vega's direction and smiled slightly. _OK. Thank you. I know I'm probably not your favorite person, but if *I* can put up with **Alenko**..._

Shepard was telling Dr. T'Soni that Hackett had sent them to Mars, asking if Liara knew _why_ he had done that. James was gratified to hear her reply: "I do."

"Hallelujah. Some answers, finally."

T'Soni turned when Vega said this, and instantly qualified her previous statement. " _Maybe_. I discovered plans for a Prothean device. One that could wipe out the Reapers."

Shepard didn't bother to hide her shock. " _Here?_ On Mars?"

She questioned Liara as to why the schematics hadn't been found earlier. Dr. T'Soni detailed what she'd been doing for months: the trips to Thessia, the planning with Hackett, it had all culminated in being reassigned here, to the Archives staff. And she'd found what she'd sought.

Vega heard two words and his brain stopped following the rest of what the Asari said.

 _Shadow Broker._ It explained so **much**.

"-assuming Cerberus hasn't locked it down."

"What are they after?" The edge to Eliza's voice revealed how angry she was that the terrorist organization was in her way again.

James realized he was sick of being left out. "Yeah, they seemed hell-bent on catching _you_." _Do THEY know you're the Shadow Broker?_ He glanced at Eliza. _Did YOU?_ He answered himself: _Of course you did._

Kaidan and Eliza were speaking, but Vega was ready to move.

 _Let's do this thing._ "So it's a race to the Archives."

Suddenly they heard the distinct noise of cutting torches from the upper walkway. Shepard skirted back out onto the main floor. "We got company."

 _Gracias a Dios. I'm sick of standing around._ "Bring it on."

But Eliza jammed him up again when she said "Not this time, James."

" **What?** "

"Get back to the shuttle. If Cerberus beats us to the Archives, I need you covering the exits."

 _Leave you? A la mierda con eso!_ "BUT-"

" **Now** , Lieutenant."

James reluctantly ran for the platform. It was all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ret-cons/research/author choices:
> 
> (1) if you want to watch the video: https://youtu.be/h-QO870vGYI
> 
> (2) there's been editing in previous chapters of _The Retrofit_. you have been warned.
> 
> (3) begone, Star Child _. o O (you feckless hack)_
> 
> (4) Paragon and Renegade points will not run in tandem with dialogue chosen, because i can do that.
> 
> (5) James' dialogue: "You know the Commander" and Kaidan's response "I used to" is **gone**. IMVHO, it doesn't make sense in almost ANY canon. as Shepard's guard, Vega would have been briefed on the crew of the SR-1. even if Command somehow failed to brief Vega, Kaidan helped take down Saren; they're both god-damned heroes. James has a touch of hero-worship. _James would know who Kaidan is, and that Alenko and Shepard knew each other_. moreover, the entire exchange doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense for a Shepard who didn't do a ME2 'ship/has feelings; FemShep would have seen him, or heard he'd been promoted. ergo, Kaidan is punted off-world for part of _The Passage_ , and FemShep IS surprised at his change in rank.
> 
>  _story canon_ : James knows about Kaidan's and Shepard's prior relationship. Kaidan knows how James feels (Tom), but Kaidan does _not_ know James knows how Kaidan _still_ feels (because Tom keeps his mouth shut on the Citadel). confused yet?
> 
> (6) apparently, if a human is knocked unconscious for more than a few minutes, it's likely they will have suffered serious trauma (various). in the boxing ring, knock-outs are never as long as people generally expect. with this Shepard's completely-upgraded cybernetics (and the way she starts running right after) my timeline has her 'out' 20 seconds or so. (TBF, my entire play-through is rather... speedy.)
> 
> (7) it turns out there is a continuity error in the run to the shipyards. i found it when i was trying to ascertain the name of the Dreadnought that blows up. according to a Bioware employee in this thread: https://web.archive.org/web/20160731151527/https://forum.bioware.com/topic/254343-extremely-disappointing-lore-error/ (i read the entire thing so **you** don't have to, but it's there if you're feeling masochistic; it's sort of horrible) the ship they animated IS actually a Cruiser.
> 
> i felt i had two options: (a) Vega mentally corrects an overwrought Alenko OR (b) Alenko is correct, and it just looks smaller/is in low orbit because (reasons). my decision (after **way** too many hours of research, and much changing of mind): the ship that got destroyed WAS an Alliance Navy Dreadnought. it was caught unawares at Earth, took a LOT of Reaper fire, and slowly lost altitude. taking one final shot and exploding spectacularly - rather than crashing into Headquarters - could almost be seen as a good thing. out of the list of Dreadnoughts It Could Have Possibly Been (from the wiki), i decided on the SSV Elbrus; it was one of the _older_ , smaller Dreadnoughts, and it being at Earth for retrofits makes even more sense.
> 
> (8) in the Mars base, Shepard still says "Easy there, Lieutenant" but doesn't say "She's with us." James recognizes Liara, but late. 
> 
> (9) _the reader_ can catch all the action by watching the vid, but important to remember that _James_ misses a great deal of what happens on Mars.
> 
> (10) lastly, this play-through utilizes a TON of mods. special shout-out to Kinkojiro and the entire EGM team for their _incredible_ work on the Expanded Galaxy Mod. i don't know what the remaster will give us, but if it means playing ME3 without the additional content of EGM, i find i'm not as interested. my intention is to do a full list of mods, somewhere.
> 
> the Dreaded Spanish:  
> you should probably all know "mierda!" by now ~shit!  
> Me quiero matar ~ kill me now  
> Qué mierda? ~ What the fuck?  
> Pinche pendejo ~ fucking asshole  
> Joder ~ Fuck  
> Gracias a Dios ~ Thank God  
> Hijo de la chingada ~ son of a bitch  
> ¡Qué idiota! ~ You idiot!/How idiotic  
> chingdara ~ basically 'fucking thing'  
> A la mierda con eso ~ Fuck that shit


	2. Injerencia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How many desolate creatures on the earth have learnt the simple dues of fellowship and social comfort, in a hospital."  
> ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning
> 
> Lots of waiting. And thinking. And some crashing. And stuff getting in the way of other stuff.

Simply stepping back outside to where they'd encountered the Cerberus vehicles made it obvious that the storm was significantly closer. James raised his eyes to the skyline and swallowed hard.

_You like the desert... remember? This is fine. It's all good._

He ran back up the hill, slid into the shuttle, plunked himself into the pilot's seat, and ripped his helmet back off.

"Normandy? This is Vega. Come in, Normandy." He fiddled with one of the com buttons, hoping he wasn't too late.

"Lieutenant," a feminine purr responded. "Probables did not have the landing party returning for another-"

"EDI," Joker interrupted the AI, "Vega - what the hell's wrong?"

James snorted. "For starters, Cerberus crashed the party. Only a small force at the front door, so we believe they had help getting in. A good bet they landed more troops up top." EDI tried to interrupt, but Joker shushed her impatiently as Vega continued. "Met up with Liara T'Soni; she was researching something in the Archives that we need for the war. Shepard sent me back here to warn you about Cerberus. I also feel the need to remind you that we have a _puta madre_ sand storm only ten minutes away from the facility, and it's starting to break up communications."

EDI had enough of Joker's attempts to quiet her. "Lieutenant, I suggest we arrange a signal capable of transmission through the storm's interference, in case you require extraction after we lose contact."

James could almost _hear_ Joker rolling his eyes. "Translated, how will you let us know you need us to pull your butts out of the fire?"

"I understood her, Joker. I was going to suggest the standard 'short-short-short, long-long-long, short-short-short' route. Unless you two have a better idea."

Joker snorted. "That works. Simple is best."

It was interesting - and a tad unsettling - to hear an AI employ a tone of 'voice' that clearly communicated her desire to vent them both out of an airlock. "Lieutenant, have you attempted to intercept Cerberus communications?"

Vega sighed. "I was hoping you might be able to help with that, EDI. I'm not what you would call _tech-savvy_."

EDI sounded both satisfied and smug when her gravelly voice responded "Processing."

James coughed. "EDI, you know that *I* know what you are, right? I didn't want to worry you or Joker with the fact that I knew, but there it is. Seems like a pretty _small_ concern right now."

Everything was quiet for a few seconds, then Joker started to guffaw.

\--

Vega wasn't emotionally-constructed for sitting on the sidelines. The waiting just made him anxious. It didn't take EDI long to identify the frequency and hack the codes Cerberus was utilizing both in orbit and on the base, and - using her instructions - James managed to get the shuttle coms to tap into their planet-side communication. This gave James a force estimate, and informed him that the enemy troops knew _Alliance_ troops were still active in the base.

It was something.

After another minute or so, what they'd all feared came to pass, and EDI's voice completely disappeared. That was when James figured he _had_ to try contacting Shepard. He rationalized that she needed to know about the interference... even if the reality was that _he_ was the one who needed to know she was OK. He hoped he didn't disturb her in the middle of a firefight.

"Commander, you read me?"

Her exasperated response was broken by yet more static: "Barely. Storm's causing interference."

He snorted. "Yeah, tell me about it. I've lost contact with the _Normandy_. What's your current position?"

His inquiry was met with garbled noise that might have been "can't read you, James." 

He tried again. "I **said**. What's. Your. **Position**?" He'd lost them, he knew it, but it he kept trying for another twenty seconds. It was SO frustrating that she was out there... facing danger, and he was stuck here... waiting.

There was nothing to do but listen. And think. Unfortunately, the path his thoughts took was familiar. Yet again, enforced confinement went to work on James' mental equilibrium in the form of a critique of his recent actions. He berated himself especially for expecting Shepard to be anything other than what she was now: a military leader consumed with the fight against the Reapers. He'd _known_ this was where she was headed; every week she'd been away, he'd felt her slipping further into the shell of a leader he didn't know. And now... she had her commission back.

_She reminds me more and more of Captain Toni. **Why** did I think that all I had to do was be alone with her again, **touch** her again... and it would all come back? ¡Qué idiota soy!_

James tapped his fingers on the control board, impatiently eavesdropping on Cerberus. He was both amazed that their com technology seemed so much more advanced than he'd expected - given the encroaching storm - and cheered that Shepard appeared to be cutting a swath through their forces.

When the querulous voice of the woman in charge stated they were 'done here', and demanded the shuttle meet her on the upper level for extraction, Vega realized that even if most (or all of) the Cerberus troops were dead... the Alliance was likely _screwed_ if their leader got away. _Bet she has what we need._

He barely paused to consider whether or not his piloting skills would be adequate to the pursuit of a Cerberus shuttle through blowing sand; he powered up the engines and lifted off, was searching for the other shuttle even before the Commander's mangled communication somehow broke through: "Ja-mes, d...me?"

He assumed there was little chance she would understand his reply, but Vega tried anyway. "I read you, Shepard. Cerberus shuttle just launched. I'm in the air and will intercept." He affirmed the fact that she clearly wasn't hearing him when he made out her exclamation "Cerberus has the data!"

James sighed. This was the _worst_ game of 'Whisper' imaginable. "I. Read. You. Shepard. I. Will. Stop. The. Shuttle."

A few seconds later, he heard her yelling again. It sounded like "Normandy... now."

_Ah, yeah. Should probably do that too._

James sent off the radio bursts he and EDI agreed on; he received the required number of static bursts back, acknowledging his summons.

The Cerberus shuttle suddenly swung toward the complex. James followed it in, but then - as it swung out again without picking anyone up - he changed his mind and dropped precipitously out of view. He'd begun to wonder if Cerberus _knew_ an Alliance shuttle was shadowing them. He flew into the shelter of the building, trying hard NOT to look at the encroaching _wave_ of sand only a couple kilometers away.

The second time the enemy transport glided in to hover next to the building, Vega clearly saw a person jump through the open hatch; he maneuvered until he was directly between the Cerberus shuttle and the open sky. Shepard was running, hot on the figure's heels. She was also screaming invective over her omni-tool. While the words were garbled, the message was nonetheless clear: _stop the shuttle_.

_That's the plan, Lola._

Vega pulled a tight turn, hoping that the 'brick' - as Cortez liked to call it - was willing to perform a _bit_ better than average today. He heard himself grate out "I got **this** one," and prayed it was true: that Cerberus hadn't developed some sort of stealth shuttle technology to match their improved communications. But the white and orange vessel continued to slowly lift off, oblivious, and the Kodiak hit it _dead_ on, knocking it back down into the pavement below. The wreckage almost immediately caught fire.

 _Glad I strapped in._ He observed three gauges flick on - red, blinking lights - in response to the collision. _Hrm. The Brick did_ not _love that one. Am *I* going to crash, too? That wasn't part of The Plan._

James flew a slow circle, trying to figure out where he had room to also potentially crash/land. Shepard was waving both arms, probably to get his attention, then jerked her hand toward the courtyard as if to say "Get down here, idiot."

 _Ye-eah. Despite the fact that I clearly accomplished the objective, I may catch hell for this._ James wished he was a _bit_ less satisfied/excited about the prospect.

The touch-down was bumpier than he'd intended - _I **never** claimed to be a pilot_ \- but he managed to not hit anyone else. He jumped out of the Kodiak, instinctively brushing fly-ash off his armor, and immediately assured the Commander: "Normandy's on route. They'll be here soon."

He watched Liara being helped away from the crashed Cerberus shuttle by Kaidan, and had to wonder why - of the three powerful biotics present - NO one had thought to cushion the crash of _either_ shuttle. He wondered why neither of the techs were using a blast of cryo to ice down the burning wreckage. It was doubtful anyone was alive in there.

Liara sounded tired, but resolute. "We need the data."

A loud clanging from inside the burning ship alerted everyone that something was happening, barely in time to watch the hatch _explode_ off the side of the enemy shuttle. A... synthetic? James couldn't be certain, but that was sure what it looked like, stepped out of the wreckage, heading straight for Alenko and T'Soni... who, again, BOTH failed to use biotics to stop it.

_QUE DIABLOS?!_

James raised his gun to fire, but the robot had grabbed Kaidan by the neck _SO fast, really, and now I might hit him._ It dangled the Major in the air between her and James. A good shot might save the day... but he couldn't bring himself to risk a bad one.

He heard Shepard yell out "KAIDAN!" and waited for her to Reave the damned thing... before remembering that _her_ Reave - with its wide arc of effect and greater power - might also kill Alenko. He winced as Eliza added "Let him **go**." While he understood the motive behind it, the demand was unlikely to bear fruit. James also buried the immediate thought _'she **cares** about him'_ underneath another one: _'she cares about **all of** her crew.'_

He listened, twitching, as the synthetic distinctly asked "Orders?" and then flinched hard as it became obvious what the orders had been. The humanoid machine slammed Alenko into the crashed shuttle, head-first, _twice_. As soon as the Major slipped to the ground, Vega began to fire, but Shepard also immediately pulled off a Reave. Between its shields being drained and all the gunfire, the robot collapsed seconds later.

Shepard pointed at it and ordered "Grab that thing. Bring it with us." James didn't hesitate, hefting the synth over one shoulder, though his heart did sink a bit as Eliza flew toward Kaidan. Over every omni-tool, Joker's voice rang out stridently "Shepard, we got Reaper signatures in orbit."

Eliza carefully lifted Alenko's limp form. Vega waited a few seconds to make sure she could carry him, before he turned toward the cleared space in which _Normandy_ was landing. His mind flashed back to the day in the Null Room when she'd sarcastically told him "I can easily shoulder-carry _most_ Marines."

_So you can._

\--

Joker yelled something as they tromped through the airlock, something about how 'two-thirds of them came bearing gifts', but no one even paused to acknowledge the pilot; they proceeded directly through the CIC, crew jumping out of the way, one hurrying ahead to call the elevator for them that much quicker. They proceeded directly to Medbay.

 _Would be better if we actually had a **doctor** down here._ James added 'find a Medical Officer' to their staffing needs.

He dumped the metallic corpse onto one of the bio-beds, and turned to watch Shepard gently lower Kaidan onto the one directly across the aisle. She looked utterly _lost_ as she anxiously checked the dark-haired biotic for a pulse, for breath. Vega's gut clenched uncomfortably again.

Liara leaned over and watched Eliza's face for several seconds before she obviously felt she had to break in. "Kaidan needs medical attention." T'Soni paused. "We have to _leave_ the Sol system."

Eliza nodded minutely. "I know."

"The Citadel is our best chance. We can find help there."

Shepard either immediately saw the sense in this suggestion or had been about to make it herself. "Get us to the Citadel, Joker."

"Roger that." For once the pilot didn't waste words.

"Hold on, Kaidan."

 _She sounds... devastated._ James bit his lip, feeling twenty emotions at once, and super-uncomfortable that chief among them was annoyance. It was just like that perfect _pendejo_ asshole to go and get seriously hurt, so that the woman they both wanted went crazy for him all over again.

_You sound a little bitter, Vega. Careful. Would you rather be lying there, if it meant her fussing over **you**?_

James watched as Shepard put a hand on the Major's shoulder.

_No contestes eso._

When she glanced in his direction, Vega was ready for anything. But she was evidently simply glaring at his 'prisoner.' Her voice was like gravel when she added "See what you and EDI can learn from that thing," to Liara.

EDI's voice broke into Shepard's pensive vigil: "Commander, I'm receiving a signal over the secondary QEC. I believe it's Admiral Hackett."

"Patch me through." The Commander pivoted and was walking out of Medbay even as EDI responded: "I'll forward it to the Com Room."

 _Would she have left as quickly if it was me laying there? Do I even want to know?_ James mentally smacked himself and actually **catalogued** Alenko's appearance: the blood matting his dark hair, the bruising on his face, the near-lifeless body... He sighed. _No. You're worried Shepard will fall apart if he dies, yeah, but you're also happy you're still standing. You may be feeling a little **guilty** that it wasn't you, and that's OK. The psych guys both said that it was **normal** to be relieved when it isn't you._

Vega wasn't aware that Dr. T'Soni was paying him any attention until she spoke. She appeared to be concentrating on Alenko: applying a stim and activating a Stasis field similar to the one he'd seen her use on Osorio, on Earth.

"The last time I was on this ship with Major Alenko, he was absolutely convinced that Shepard was... romantically interested in me. He was angry that she and I were..." Liara paused, obviously choosing her words with care, " _close_. But we were only good friends." The Asari glanced over at James, and her lips creased in a tiny smile that was perhaps meant to be reassuring. "She needs those, you know?"

"So you've mentioned before." Vega took a deep breath. "And I've tried."

Liara was examining Kaidan's scalp. She grimaced and activated another Stasis field that haloed the Major's head in a blue aura. "I know you did. I believe you were successful." She crossed to James, running her omni-tool over the synthetic.

"EDI, have you downloaded all of the data?"

"I have retrieved seventy-two-point-seven percent, Dr. T'Soni. I am allowing the analysis to run in tandem with the download. I should have a preliminary report for you in under a minute."

"Thank you, EDI." She turned to James. "I need to get to the CIC, but-" She stopped and may have in fact bitten her lip. "I wanted to apologize. While I still believe it is probable that what we witnessed was merely... the concern Shepard would feel for a gravely-injured friend - especially one for whom she felt responsible..." Liara pursed her lips. "I understand _why_ you questioned her feelings for Kaidan, several months ago." She patted James on the arm and slipped out of Med Bay.

_That doesn't make me feel any **better** , Liara. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE RIGHT._

James immediately turned to the unconscious figure on the bio-bed across from him. "You're a _stupido chingdara_ ," he grated out, "but if you die now she will NEVER get over you." A uniformed technician walked into Medbay at that moment, so he stepped closer to Kaidan and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. "Stay the fuck alive until I can decide if I have to kill you myself."

He nodded to the tech, and went to pry himself out of his armor.

\--

**VEGA: done with hackett?**

James sent his inquiry as he was about to jump into a shower. He'd felt it when the _Normandy_ hit the Relay, figured he had _maybe_ a quarter-hour to get clean, find a uniform, and report in - when his omni-tool pinged back.

**_SHEP: yeah. didn't take long. told him Mars data is a weapon; he's all-in on building it_ **

Even as he switched on the water, Vega activated the voice protocol and the speaker. He carefully set his omni-tool down where the holo wouldn't catch vid of him, thought about turning it around so it _would_ , castigated himself for the thought, and messaged her again. She picked up within seconds with a tired-sounding "James."

"It looked like Liara put a Stasis on Alenko before she joined you. Is the tech updating you?"

He immersed himself in the hot water and began to scrub.

"Liara went back to Medbay and renewed the Stasis. But he's... slipping. Brain hemorrhage and swelling. Thank God we'll be docked in fifteen minutes."

"Did you get to change?"

"Doing that now."

"If you still have gear, dump it outside your cabin and I'll return it to the Armory."

There was a pause. "That's - thank you. What is- are you _showering_ while you talk to me?"

"Hey - it's not the first time." He grinned despite the tenseness of the situation. "I also went through the duty roster, asked EDI to make some calls, figured out who we might pick up on the Citadel. Just in case you think I'm ONLY making myself pretty and not doing my actual fucking job."

A reluctant laugh. "EDI keeps me pretty well-informed, though it's true I haven't asked her and Joker about finding a crew yet. Of course, she _did_ tell me who ordered food to be brought to my cabin."

"You caught me. Did you _eat_ it?" James stepped out of the shower and hurriedly toweled off.

"Working on it. I'll see you in Medbay in fifteen. Techs will be boarding with a stretcher. Shepard out."

\--

Vega felt gratified he knew the ship as well as he did. The trolley he'd used to accomplish much of the retrofit was exactly where he'd left it, and he utilized it to move both his and Shepard's armor and weapons back to the Shuttle Bay in minutes. By his reckoning, he still had time to run through his messages _and_ stop in Engineering on his way back up to Medbay. If he multi-tasked, at least.

Which was how he almost _tripped_ over Cortez.

"Adams, how's- WHOAH!" he stumbled to the side, just missing crashing into Steve.

"Mr. _Vega_." The dark-skinned pilot braced to avoid being shoved into his workstation. "Barreling into crew again, I see. We're all good down here, thanks for asking. Multiple narrow escapes from Reapers and balancing insanely-overpowered engines during massive fire fights hardly even registers to an old-timer."

Over by the main panel, Lieutenant Gregory Adams grinned hugely. "Oh, yeah. All in a day's work for the crew of the _Normandy_."

James just stared at his friend, jaw clenched. "Care to explain to me why - even though you were on _board_ the entire time - *I* had to fly the Kodiak? You understand - I had to _leave the Commander_ , right? She sent me BACK, so that someone would be in a position to fly the damn thing at Cerberus."

"You didn't need me to pilot; you flew that shuttle _all on your own_." Cortez paused and flashed a sly smile toward the head engineer. "Crashed it all on your own, too."

Adams began laughing, and then gestured toward the warp core. "With all due respect, _Executive Officer Vega_ ," the Lieutenant made it sound both sardonic AND respectful; James wished he knew how the man did it. "I needed him in here. In case the Reapers _had_ boxed us in, we started taking _serious_ fire, and the engine started to vent stuff it shouldn't be venting."

James sighed. "Duly noted, Adams. I'm not really upset, just jerking this _pendejo_ 's chain." Do you need anything from the Citadel, assuming I have time while Shepard is talking to the Council?" His omni-tool flashed a five-minute warning; they were on approach.

"We can always use any advanced tech the Commander can scrounge. If you both keep your eyes open and inform me?" Adams punched up something on his omni-tool. "Here's a few ideas."

Vega went right back to the multi-tasking that had nearly caused a collision, popping open the file even as he started to walk away. The first item on the spec list made him swing back around. "Tali Z'orah? Isn't that the Quarian, who-" His brain parsed the joke. "Ah. Ha. Ha. Ha. I'll see what I can do about finding you crew. Trust me, it's on the list."

"Much appreciated."

\--

He ran into another of the retrofit refugees, lurking in the small kitchenette, clutching a cup of coffee.

"You hanging in there, Traynor?"

The dark-haired woman jumped in reaction; coffee sloshed onto her uniform, the counter, and the floor. "Oh, **bloody** hell-"

James winced and went to help mop up the mess. "Sorry, Traynor. Didn't mean to frighten you."

The Specialist looked him over and then brushed his hands away from the countertop. "Don't, Lieutenant; you look smart and ready for Council business. It's my mess-"

Vega held up both hands in surrender and backed off. "Fine, but I'm sorry I contributed to it. I just wanted to make sure that you were doing OK. We had a bumpy ride out of Earth." He carefully concealed his grin and dead-panned "Never been accused of appearing 'smart' before."

Traynor opened her mouth to explain, but shut it as Shepard exited the elevator. The Commander gestured, then called out. "We decided to use a panel one of the techs found as a gurney to shave a minute off the transfer. Can you help carry?"

He nodded to Samantha "See you later, Specialist." When he saw what they were planning to use, he frowned. "All right, but let's be damn careful, Shepard."

Her face turned grim. "Agreed."

\--

They were _exceedingly_ cautious, bringing the Major back up through the CIC far slower than they'd maneuvered him down. The operation was well-timed, and they handed him off to the hospital personnel without undue jarring. Vega was feeling satisfied at a job well-done until he heard one of the medical techs say "Barely got a pulse here," and another one shout "Move him out!"

As they rushed Alenko away, Shepard asked "Where you taking him?"

The first tech called back, "Querta Memorial. Best care in the Citadel."

James was confused when they stopped following Kaidan's litter in the hallway. He'd rather expected Shepard to follow the Major to hell and back; had been afraid of exactly that. "We're not goin' with?"

Liara turned to him "We need to see the Council."

 _Ah. Yeah._ "Right." Vega tried to tamp down his concern that Shepard appeared bewildered, staring out into their docking bay. He looked down the hallway and saw an uniformed older man steadfastly approaching Shepard and wryly thought _Or perhaps they'll just show up._ "Looks like they might be coming to see _you_."

The officer stopped a couple meters away and raised his voice slightly "Commander Shepard. Got word you were arriving." He managed to sound pleased and displeased at the same time.

James watched Eliza spin around and walk forward to shake the man's hand. "Captain Bailey. Good to see you again."

"Yeah. You too." Vega didn't think he'd _ever_ heard someone fake enthusiasm that badly before. It was fairly obvious Bailey was _not_ actually pleased to see Shepard. James wondered what had happened, other than Shepard being her normal 'agent of chaos' self. "Though it's _Commander_ , now."

_Whoah. **Head** of C-Sec?_

Eliza was likewise nonplussed. "Ah. Well... congratulations."

Bailey's total lack of fervor for events appeared to include his _own promotion_. "Uhhh, thanks. Now half my job is dealing with political bullshit and escorting dignitaries around."

_I think he means YOU, Commander._

James realized he was spot-on when Bailey added "No offense."

Shepard drolly replied "None taken. So... you're here to bring us to the Council?" They strode away from the docks; James and Liara trailed along behind them.

"I'm here to tell you the Council is expecting you, but they are dealing with their own problems with the war and everything. They apologize for the inconvenience and-" Bailey waved his hand impatiently. Vega was suddenly one hundred percent sure the man in front of him **hated** his job. He guessed it was because Bailey - like Eliza - would rather be out catching the Bad Guys. He nodded minutely when the Head of C-Sec continued "- blah blah blah blah. Meet them here, at Udina's office. They'll be ready soon enough."

_The only question remaining is **why** he took the promotion._

Shepard, to her credit, handled this well. "All right."

"You might have time to go by the medical center, if you want to check on progress over there."

James quietly sighed when Shepard was non-committal: "Thanks, I might do that."

Liara appeared to believe that Eliza going to the hospital first was a done deal. "You go on ahead. I'll head up to Udina's office."

Bailey eyed Dr. T'Soni with a deference he hadn't shown to Shepard, and Vega wondered if it was the fact that she was an Asari - and Bailey was used to kowtowing to Asari - or if he really was on such familiar terms with the Commander. "One of my men can show you the way."

When Bailey turned to spear him with a glance, and ask "You?", James was so surprised that he blurted out "I'm just a tourist, today." Then - to tease Shepard - he tacked on: "I'll try not to get into any trouble." He caught the barest edge of her arch look as he spun around to hide his smile. He gazed out toward the _Normandy_ and tried to listen with one ear while his brain was going over the evolving list of things they _might_ be able to acquire on the Citadel... especially in terms of weapons.

Bailey fielded a call over his headset and departed with a grunted "I'll be right there." He scowled and said "The other half of my job. I'll see ya around, Shepard."

James wasn't surprised that her tone was quite sardonic when she declaimed "No doubt."

_I saw her face in the Medbay. She'll go to the hospital first._

_Joder._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few random things:
> 
> (1) FTL and travel speed: the Sol Relay (https://masseffect.fandom.com/wiki/Charon_Relay) orbits Pluto - between 7.5 and 4.28 billion km (orbit) from Earth (space.com). from the Mass Effect Wiki, "by 2165, human starships are known to be capable of traveling at least fifty times faster than the speed of light" (https://masseffect.fandom.com/wiki/FTL). the speed of light is approx 300,000 km/s (Wiki). therefore, Normandy can travel at LEAST 15 million km/s, 900 million km/min; the trip to Pluto would take ~6.5 min on average. factor in acceleration/deceleration and use of the Relays, and the trip from Earth/Mars to Widow/the Citadel should be fairly rapid.
> 
> (2) "short-short-short", etc is "SOS" in Morse code. it's an over-used and silly plot device, but here we are. want to have fun with it? https://www.brownielocks.com/morse_code.html
> 
> (3) this chapter - and the associated video - contain editing that gets around the **railroading** of the entire intro, because I felt those changes make more sense within the timeline. Eliza Shepard dashes from the Medbay, to the QEC/Hackett, to the CIC/Liara, _to her cabin_ (because even with the fairly quick trip from Mars to Pluto through the Relay to Widow to Docking Bay 24 at the Citadel... where she finds time to change into her uniform, and check her email (it was hard-won, but people who read _The Passage_ understand why she'll never put off checking her messages ever again. if you view the video, you will also see one of the first EGM (mod) screens, detailing the crew of the _Normandy_.
> 
> (4) i've recently begun recruiting British slang help, because we're going to be getting more Traynor, though I'm still not sure she's right.
> 
> (5) there's also some cut dialogue, esp between Liara and Shepard. it never happened. this will become A Thing. video link: https://youtu.be/hqzPvFqrpHc
> 
> Spanish:
> 
> injerencia ~ interference  
> puta madre ~ a not-nice adjective/mofo  
> ¡ Qué idiota soy! ~ What an idiot I am  
> QUE DIABLOS?! ~ what the hell  
> no contestes eso ~ don't answer that  
> stupido chingdara ~ stupid fucker


	3. Sparring (The Deja Vu Edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled."  
> ~Ovid
> 
> James waits on Shepard, getting more and more agitated through the day, until finally his C.O. orders him to go home and take a nap. This does not go over well. Nightmares ensue. He ends up in the middle of _another_ sparring match with Shepard because, well, they're both pissed off and apparently have no healthy way of expressing their anger.

Shepard did not, in fact, go to the hospital first. This should have made James feel better. But it was more than balanced out by the fact that - when she _did_ go, she _remained_ there... a _long_ time.

This, after she ordered him to go back to the Normandy, to bed, _echarse un coyote_. As if he were a child, rather than her executive officer.

_Alone again, dammit._

\--

Liara had - somehow - disappeared. Shepard, checking her omni-tool, stepped into the elevator; James followed. He silently waited for Eliza to ride all the way up to the hospital... had a difficult time keeping the shock off his face when she got out on Level II to head to Udina's office.

He exited behind her, thinking _I should... say something_. It FELT like he should say something. Everything had happened so fast. "Not gonna go to the hospital?"

She exhaled loudly. "They just messaged me. He's still alive. And this Council meeting is likely to go badly enough without me keeping them waiting." Shepard turned to face him. "I heard that crack, about 'trying not to get into trouble.' " She arched a brow at him. "You're going to do more than _try_ , right?"

_So you **did** hear that. And that look, after all this time. Mierda._

"Yeah, yeah. I'll poke around up here, see if I can pick up any scuttlebutt, maybe check in with C-Sec for news. Acceptable?"

She smiled: an exhausted, washed-up kind of smile, maybe, but in James' book, it counted.

"Yep. See you in a bit." And she jogged away, up the stairs.

\--

**From: Lt. Steve Cortez (s_cortez@nav.alliance.mil)  
To: Lt. James Vega (j_vega@mar.alliance.mil)  
Date: 14.10.2186. 13:32 MST  
Subject: While You're on the Citadel  
Message: Remind the Commander that she needs to start making contact with suppliers, will you? See if you can find us something else to drink? And can I tell Adams you found him a couple more engineers already? (kidding!)**

**Seems weird to think we were nearly blown out of the sky by Reapers two hours ago, doesn't it?**

**Steve**

\--

James had just returned to the Presidium, and was wandering around the Embassy lobby, when Liara stalked up to him. He could tell by the look on her face that things almost certainly didn't go well.

"That good, huh?"

"They're-" Dr. T'Soni controlled herself with obvious effort, lowered the volume of her voice, and sidled over to an alcove near the windows. "-insufferable. They can't see beyond their own problems - _still._ " She let slip a frustrated sigh. "The Prothean device could save us all, and they won't offer us the slightest bit of help because Goddess _forbid_ someone accuse them of not putting their own people first. It's all about appearances; _all_ of it."

Vega nodded slightly and glanced around the room. It wasn't like Liara to expostulate in public. _Pretty good indication of how badly it went, right there._ "Where's Shepard?"

"Udina's office. He asked to speak with her privately." The Asari sighed again, put a hand on his arm, and leaned in slightly. "I was surprised she didn't go straight to Huerta." T'Soni seemed to be searching Vega's face to see how he was taking her words. "Did that- I mean-" she stuttered to a flustered halt. "I don't mean to imply that it should be _reassuring_ , but-"

"I get it, Liara. It's-" James stopped, wondering what it actually _was_. "It surprised me, too. Look... it is what it is." He glanced around the waiting area. "I'm gonna stay here, make sure she's OK. Should I tell her you went back to the _Normandy_?"

"Yes. I need to return to work. Tell her-" Dr. T'Soni exhaled sharply through her nose, annoyance clearly coming to the fore again. "Tell her it's going to be OK. I'll find the resources _somewhere_." She walked to the elevator and was gone.

_Ah, yeah. Shadow Broker._

\--

Someone yelling for Eliza's attention broke through his reverie. He rigidly controlled the urge to whip around so he could watch, settling for shamelessly eavesdropping again.

"Commander Shepard! Commander! the people of the Alliance have questions! Commander Shepard, Khalisah al-Jilani - isn't it true that you were on _Earth_ when the Reapers attacked?"

Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Eliza literally face-palm. He vaguely recalled her having had run-ins with this particular Citadel-based reporter in the past. _WHY did she even stop to talk to her?_

"How do you justify running away while millions of people on Earth **die**?"

Vega's spine stiffened and half-turned. His feet moved in Eliza's direction instinctively... then he forced himself still again. _You said the SAME thing to her, pendejo, before you knew better. Before you heard Hackett basically **ordering** her to stay out of it._

Khalisah was still speaking "-the best we can expect from the Alliance?"

He had to admire how calm Shepard was in the face of her tormentor. James himself thought he might have decked the woman. _This is why she's the Commander, stupido, and not you._

"I came to get help for Earth. For _everyone_."

James privately credited the reporter with balls, if not brains. She would. Not. Stop. "What about all the people suffering, while you play politics with the Council? What about _them_? How can you _stand_ here while our families _die_ -"

Vega watched Eliza simply _stare_ at the woman, and began to grow a little concerned. _Is she OK? Is the guilt swamping her? Should I-_

"-what are you going to **do** -" The reporter ranted on, and James shifted again.

"Khalisah." Eliza stepped into the woman, touched her on the shoulder. Vega was impressed that the Commander's voice was softer and more understanding than he felt the other woman deserved. "We're doing _everything_ we can." 

The reporter crumbled, completely. Her voice dropped down to a more normal speaking volume, and James had to shuffle a meter closer to hear better. "Before they cut the feeds... there were so many dead." 

Shepard, however, got louder. The Lieutenant realized Eliza _knew_ she was speaking to a camera, had _never_ forgotten it. "I'm going to _stop_ the Reapers or die trying, but I need your help. Keep asking the hard questions. Don't let the Council forget about Earth." 

_DA-AMN. She took what could have been a PR nightmare and turned it RIGHT back onto the Council. Niii-ce._ He listened to the reporter retreat, and slid back over to where he'd been standing in front of the window. His brain kept bringing up other times he'd been similarly impressed by Eliza's ability to manipulate people... and James kept swatting them back into the recesses of his mind. _I really don't need that particular problem right now._ In his peripheral vision, Shepard was headed his way. _Especially since she's seen me._

"Hey, Commander. Liara told me the Council's not interested in helping us." 

She turned to look at him, mouth twisted. "Something like that." 

He felt free to face her fully for the first time in... it felt like forever. She was so... close. "Why would they? Look at this place. There's no war here." _If only. I feel like we missed our chance at real peace._ "People are whispering about it. They're talking about it. But they don't really believe it." 

She grimaced. "I take it this is your first time here, with the... **elite** of the galaxy?" There was a kiloton of irony loaded onto the adjective. 

He shrugged slightly, admitted it. "I've been to the Citadel, but never up here on the Presidium. It's-" He thought it over and decided on "-not right. It looks pretty: calm, and peaceful. But it's not right. It's all just an illusion." James wanted to look away; the conviction that he'd accidentally blurted out the truth about their relationship was crushing him. 

"It was peaceful." _Dios, she heard me._ "Once." 

Vega found himself shrugging more aggressively, getting a little louder. "Was it? Really?" _Joder, we're talking in CODE again._ "I mean, when push comes to shove, they're just gonna turtle up, hope it don't hit them too, right?" _That's what **you** did..._ "They'd rather believe in **this** -" he jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the artificial parkland of the Presidium, "-than face the truth."

Her face could still break his heart. She was suddenly so unsure - so sad - looking down at the floor. "I can hardly believe it myself." When she looked up again, her eyes were empty. "Like everything back on Earth was some kind of nightmare."

He tried not to flinch, to remember his place in the conversation. "Yeah." _I hope you're just referring to the Reapers, Eliza. I really do._

Shepard turned and began walking toward the elevator, pausing to look over her shoulder to make sure he was following her. He caught up.

"I'm headed to the hospital. Get back to the _Normandy_ and grab some shut-eye. We need to figure out some sort of duty schedule-"

Vega put out an arm to keep her from getting into the car; the motion caused her to stop talking as well as walking. "I went by C-Sec while you were in with the Council. They didn't want to give me a lot of details, but some of your old crew is here on the Citadel." He saw her eyes narrow at him. "You sure you don't want me to poke around a bit..."

Her jaw tightened, and he wondered if she was about to let him have it. Then she sighed, and he relaxed. "We won't be able to staff the _Normandy_ in a day, Lieutenant. My Alliance intel queue contained two additional alerts - places we need to go ASAP - in addition to what the Turian Ambassador just told me, which-" She stopped, ran a hand over her eyes, and stepped onto the elevator, motioning him to join her. "I'll brief you later. I need to go see Kaidan. I'll also inquire after a doctor who's willing to ship out. I was thinking about sending a message to Karin Chakwas. When we saw her a few months ago, she told me she was being assigned to the Citadel; maybe she can get a transfer. _You_ go and grab an hour of sleep. That's an order."

James echoed her sigh as the elevator spit her out at Huerta Memorial. "Ayeaye, Ma'am."

_I'll just go... take a nap. Like a five-year old._

\--

James had worked himself into a semi-foul mood by the time he passed the docking bay checkpoint. The thought that - _at this very moment_ \- he was losing Shepard to Alenko would NOT leave his brain; it kept turning somersaults in his conscious thoughts, like a frog caught in a tumbleweed.

 _I've got one last shot to get through to her. And I have NO idea what to do. Other than wait around and hope_ she _comes to_ me, _which... didn't work out all that well LAST time._

Vega thought about getting a drink. Or **several** drinks. Then he remembered how alcohol and strangers inevitably led to insults and fights, and thought better of it.

_Maybe... cards would be better. Next visit. Given how much I want to punch something right now, I'll need the distraction when she heads to the hospital **again**._

He was almost to _Normandy_ 's dock before he remembered he hadn't given her Esteban's message. Or Liara's.

_JODER. Where is my BRAIN?_

\--

James strode through the airlock, was four steps into the CIC, when he heard Joker call out: "Liara went through here like a Valkyrie storming the gates of Valhalla. You look like you're ready to beat the shit out of someone. Dare I assume the Council is being their usual, helpful selves?"

Vega closed his eyes briefly and sighed. _Deal with it now. He's crew. You're XO. This is your **job**._

He reversed course and walked up behind the pilot. "Yeah. From what Shepard and the doc said after, the Councilors pretty much told us to take a hike."

Joker made a disgusted "ttcchh" noise that impressed James with its succinct appraisal of the situation. He turned to leave.

"Vega?" Joker raised his voice a bit so that the Executive Officer, already two meters away, could hear him.

James swung back around. "Yeah, Joker?"

The pilot pushed back his ballcap and stared at Vega gravely. "Whatever's going on between you and Shepard-" Joker paused, as if he'd rather bite out his own tongue than continue, but continue he did. "I just want what's best for her, you know?" He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "She seemed pretty-" he searched for the right word and settled on "- _relieved_ to find you aboard." Jeff snorted. "Pissed off, yeah, when you started bitching about going back to Earth, but... she was grateful you made it." He locked eyes with James, and added: "Don't screw up."

Vega blinked, then swallowed hard. "I don't intend to, Joker." _Qué mierda. So much for circumspect. Does EVERYONE know how I feel?_

"Good." The pilot swiveled back around and started pulling stuff up on his workstation.

\--

Vega found another target looking for a beat-down when he entered the Crew Quarters. One of the lower-deck techs had apparently set up a extranet pawnshop on the communal terminal, and had a footlocker of contraband materials living under his bunk.

"Look, Campbell, I don't want to have to officially take notice of Morlan's Pawn Shop, so could you find somewhere else to be for an hour?"

"Yes, uh, Sir!" The nervous engineering tech went to scurry out of the room, then apparently thought better of it. "But, uh, before I go... I have duplicate copies of one of the best issues of Gentleman's Monthly, and the price is _very_ reasonable..."

\--

_There was a mangled shuttle at his back, a Krogan charging him. There was an assault rifle in his hands, so he shot the Krogan-_

-again? I killed the Blood Pack already, didn't I? SO many times-

_and then he picked up the wounded man at his feet. The man began screaming, because his femur was still dislocated; James had forgotten to set it before he lifted him._

Wait, I did it right the last time... didn't I?

_Vega didn't have time to fix it now, so he ran to cover with the screaming man on his shoulder... only the man's screams stopped at some point short of the bunker. When he eventually reached shelter, he lowered the man to the ground... only to realize the dark-haired man he was carrying was Major Alenko, not Captain Toni. And the biotic was dead-_

NO. SHEPARD CAN'T SEE THIS. Fix. it.

_Vega was running, the man was screaming, and when he lowered Toni to the ground, the man was clutching his hip like he wanted to tear his leg off himself. Vega jammed the bone home and heard another wail emanate from the Captain... then a long stream of swear words._

_"Look, we need to get OUT of here!" James found himself yelling. Then there were more Krogan, but he didn't have time to panic because the entire squad was there, and they shot every last one of the encroaching Blood Pack._

_There was a weird shift, a celebration, and he was giving a piggyback ride to a small blond girl and her teddy bear-_

**NO**. DON'T think about that-

 _-then the Collectors were arriving, and they swarmed the colony. Vega just kept shooting and shooting, throwing grenade after grenade, but they kept coming.The dark-haired man fell again. James knew this time it was a through-and-through neck shot, and there was nothing he could do, but he dragged his Captain back into cover anyway, searching for signs of life. The man was dead. Vega barely had time to register the fact before another person fell next to him. Then another. And another. He kept shooting, watching Collector troops exploding into chunks of flesh, but when he glanced back at the corpse at his feet, a flash of red-blond made him realize-_

**NO!-**

\--

Vega wrenched himself upright in his new bunk in the crew quarters, once again wet with sweat and shuddering. Not in a fun way.

He stumbled out the door and into the lavatory, where he splashed cold water on his face until he was sure he was awake, and the vision of Eliza's dead face was utterly gone.

Of course, there was a message from her, waiting on his omni-tool.

**_SHEP: Kaidan stable but unconsious. ran through ship's logs and saw paperwork got done, and the allocations - thank you. found Chakwas; she was willing to transfer and should already be on board. hope you slept well._ **

_¿Ah, cabrón? Joder. Yeah, I slept REAL well, Shepard._

\--

Vega listened irritably as Cortez snapped a salute and made nice with his new C.O. _**Esteban** would never DARE swear in front of a superior officer, or call her on her shit, oh **no**._

For her part, Shepard was 'military' right back at him. Vega had often wondered how it would go when the two of them met, but - given the circumstances - he supposed he should have expected they'd be all business.

"-sorry to just jump in, Commander. There's so much to be done, I get caught up in the tasks at hand."

James couldn't stop himself. "He's always like that - you need to chill out, Esteban."

_Just... beg off. Let her come to me._

But they went right back to her half-assed interview process, speaking about Steve's time with the Normandy, why he was now their shuttle pilot... which gave Cortez the perfect opening to mock him.

"-especially given Mr. Vega's love of mid-air collisions."

James snorted. "To save the **day** , pendejo." _¿En serio? Why poke at me in front of her?_

To keep himself from striding over and shaking one (or both) of them, Vega doggedly went back to his workout. However, he kept a weather ear on the conversation. Shepard inquired about the state of the drop vehicles, and asked Cortez if he maintained the Armory. The pilot extended his answer to take yet another shot at James:

"-though I believe the only weapon he cares to maintain is _himself_."

"You know you love the show, Esteban." _¡No chingues, Esteban. **Why** are you fucking with me? You KNOW how I feel about her. You KNOW how I feel about what happened with Alenko. And you KNOW I didn't sleep well._

The two continued to chat about the _Normandy_ a bit longer, then segued into Esteban's service record. Vega gripped the scaffolding chin-up bar tighter and tighter, wondering every second _when_ Shepard would get personal, and how Cortez would take it when she did.

Eliza, obviously trying to show interest in her crew's well-being, asked after Steve's family - _mistake, Eliza, I should have briefed you, dammit_. James wasn't shocked when Cortez shut her down.

He also wasn't surprised when she subsequently headed over to him. He steeled himself. _Stick with the plan. Let her talk. Hell, let her rant if she needs to. Find out why we're almost to Eden Prime. Don't ask about Alenko, or why she was at the **pinche** hospital for so long._

\--

He felt more than saw her when she reached him. He continued doing pull-ups, though, because it kept his hands and arms busy doing something other than strangling her. Touching her. _Get it together, pendejo_.

"We're gonna rescue a Turian Primarch from Palaven."

_If we're supposed to be going to Palaven, why are we orbiting Eden Prime?_

"Sounds like fun. Never been to the Turian homeworld." _You're not getting off that easy after the day *I* had._ "You come down here for something? Or are you just looking?"

_Ignore **that** , Commander._

"I did come to chat..." she turned away, put space between them, and Vega's heart fell a bit. "But I might stay for the show."

There was a rush of blood to his groin. Vega fought to ignore it. _Oh **ho**. Someone **does** want to play._

"Have to work harder than that if you want me to blush." _Please, work harder._ He thought about it and settled on: "Not sure what there is to talk about. You already know _my_ service record."

She paused and then admitted "I don't, actually. I didn't have access to personnel records when we met."

 _Ouch... right._ "Right." _And they wouldn't release the events of Fehl Prime to a mere contractor._ He thought quickly, finished his current set, and made up his mind.

_¡A la chingada._

"Well-" he dropped down off the bar. Cracked his neck. Knuckles. "Think you can dance and talk at the same time?" _Round two. Er... three. Or three hundred, if you count all the times I pretended to be doing this with you, while you were off arming the rebels._ He didn't look at her; if she was going to refuse, he didn't want to see her face when she did it.

But she sounded almost _gleeful_ when she said "Oh... I can dance."

_¡Santo Dios! Concentrate, Vega. You got kicked into a wall the last time she sounded like that._

"OK, Lola." It slipped out. _At least I didn't say **Eliza**._ "Let's do this."

He was impressed when she didn't immediately rush him. She was clearly going to wait on him again. Well, he could wait, too. Her face locked down and they circled.

"You remind me of my old C.O." That also slipped out. _Damn dream_. He threw a couple punches to distract her from what he'd said. He wasn't shocked when it didn't work; she blocked his punches, only half-heartedly following up with her fists... but her words struck true.

"Oh yeah? And who was that?"

_¡Mierda! **Fine**._

"Captain Toni. He was a hard-assed son of a bitch. But a good leader." _Shutupshutup, Vega._ He threw a couple lame haymakers: more distraction.

"Was?"

_MIERDA. She doesn't miss a **trick**. SHUT UP NOW._

But James couldn't stop, and he didn't know why. "Died. With most of my squad. Protecting a civilian colony from a Collector attack." It _hurt_ to finally say it out loud to her, and he didn't know why he'd even _said_ it, so he threw another punch... which she dodged easily.

"And the colony?" She wasn't bothering to hit him physically; her words were landing hard enough.

James clenched his jaw. _SHUT UP._ But he couldn't.

"It was either them..." he swung at her again, "or the intel we had on the Collectors." Another blow, another block. "Intel we could have used to destroy 'em." He could hear himself getting angrier _at her_ as he spoke... even though he'd long ago come to peace with the fact that the woman in front of him wasn't to blame. He KNEW who was to blame for that ragged teddy bear. " **I chose** the **intel**." He swung at her again.

Almost as if she could _feel_ how angry he was, she backed all the way off him. "Sorry-" she sounded as if she truly meant it, "that's a tough call."

_Dios, what the FUCK am I DOING?_

James calmed enough to respond to her pressing 'pause' on the fight, but he couldn't contain his bitterness. It almost felt like poison flowing from a wound; once it started bleeding out, there was nothing else to do but let it drain. "The _best_ part was - we didn't really need the intel in the end. Cause you were out saving the galaxy by taking down the entire Collector homeworld." He threw one more half-assed punch, mostly because she seemed to be waiting for it. Then two more because, well, he'd just told her everything, and she hadn't said much of _anything._

She tossed up her arms and blocked the inadequate strikes, staying crouched, return-jabbing with words alone. "You didn't know. You can't blame yourself, Vega."

And there it was. She _understood_ him. And now he'd just handed her the keys to what had been bothering him for nearly a year. Why he'd been on Omega. How he'd ended up in her cell.

"Who says I'm blaming myself?" _Stupido. She KNOWS._

"Just a guess."

 _¡Son mamadas! No mames!_ Vega saw red.

"You a shrink, too?" He knew he sounded bitter, but - again - couldn't seem to help it.

She threw a straight punch and an uppercut, right at his head. Neither were as fast as he _knew_ she could move, but they were faster than he'd seen her move outside an _actual fight_. And... they had a bit of force behind them.

"No. But that **stunt** back on Mars was **reckless**." At long last, she started throwing _substantive punches_ ; Vega could feel his forearms bruising as he deflected them upwards. That was the moment James figured out he wasn't the _only_ one who was angry right now.

 _Wait... **you're** pissed at **me**?_ He threw two more uppercuts of his own, frantically trying to figure out what to do about the fact that, evidently, they were both _furious._

She wasn't done. "You're lucky to be _alive_."

" **So?** " _¡Puta madre! ¿Qué coño te pasa? Trae bronca o qué?_

He listened with incredulity as her voice got more and more vicious. " **So** , maybe you don't care if you _live_... or **die**."

_Oh, NO you don't. ¡No mames! After the shit YOU'VE pulled??_

James carefully lowered his voice. He knew he still probably sounded just as aggressive as she had, but he felt he deserved points for _trying_ to conceal it. "Or **maybe** ," he punched out at her, drove her back away from him, away from his wounds, "I'm just willing to do whatever the **fuck** it takes to win this _goddam_ **wa-** "

He didn't get to finish; she seized on his diatribe, dropped down, and - in a move straight out of akito - threw him over her knee. He landed on the floor, stunned and out of breath at the suddenness of it. She stood over him, gasping with the effort of tossing his bulk, but ready to take him back down if he got up before she finished speaking. "Maybe you are." She backed off him, lowered her arms, and made her final point. "But we need you **alive**."

He slowly rolled to his feet. His mind was a complete blank. He'd gone from deadly anger at having been prodded into spilling his guts... to the blinding realization that she was just as scared of losing _him_ as he was of losing her. 

Things came into focus. _Or is it about losing me **too**? Is this about **us**... or about what happened to **Kaidan**?_

He shook his head slightly. "Thanks for the pep talk."

Eliza had cooled off quickly, as if throwing him to the ground had pretty much been what she needed. "Any time."

James slowly began to see the humor in both of them being pissed - over the _same_ fear - at the _same_ time. "Hey. Thanks for the dance, Lola." He was pushing his luck, maybe, but what the hell.

"Lola, huh?"

_Does she really hate it?_

"You kinda look like a Lola." _Or, you used to. I still remember._

"You're cute, so I'll let you get away with it. For now."

_... that's... the first time in a long time that you seemed to notice._

"That's it. Now you made me blush."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ret-cons, etc; there is a huge amount of missing and tweaked dialogue in this chapter (and video), including the following:
> 
> (1) a chunk of Vega on the Presidium. i feel what's left makes way more sense in our particular context.  
> (2) Dr. Chakwas describing that she's been on the Citadel, working in in R&D, because this Shepard already _knows_ this. i ended up sort of impressed with my editing of the vid because i can't even tell it's missing on playback.  
> (3) the last segment of Shepard coming out of Kaidan's hospital room, where she says "That's an order", because the animation is awful (and that bit of dialogue is, let's face it, sort of stupid).  
> (4) the entire "waking up on the Normandy/first nightmare" sequence has been punted until later because this Shepard has far to go before she sleeps. also, she caught a nap on the shuttle ride back to Vancouver from L.A. alsoalso, it's a stupid and over-used cliche' (waking up frightened in a different place).  
> (5) volume is fixed during Shepard's conversation with EDI/Joker about the crew/staffing.  
> (6) the sparring match has been pruned and tweaked to match the story i want to tell. yes, it _was_ a PITA to do; thanks for asking.
> 
> \--
> 
> i like to think Joker (since his first suspicions during Chapter 2 of _The Passage_ ) has started to figure out that Shepard and Vega had a 'thing' while she was still on Earth. he and EDI are still in communication with Shepard, remember.
> 
> \--
> 
> Corporal Campell and Morlan's Pawn Shop appear courtesy of Expanded Galaxy mod. So does Vega's copy of Fornax.
> 
> \--
> 
> James is _lucid dreaming_ in his 'dream' sequence; italics are the dream, straight text is his conscious editing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream
> 
> \--
> 
> i decided months ago that James uses way more Spanish when upset/aroused/emotional. this is an affectation in the writing, but i always thought it made sense that people who were upset or uncontrolled would revert to their native language. he also swears a lot more. so, here you go:
> 
> echarse un coyote ~ to take a nap  
> ¿En serio? ~ Seriously?  
> ¿Ah, cabrón? ~ an expression of surprise/confusion  
> ¡No chingues! ~ stop fucking with me  
> pinche ~ god-damned/fucking (adjective)  
> ¡A la chingada! ~ Fuck it  
> ¡Santo Dios! ~ Good God  
> ¡Son mamadas! No mames! ~ Bullshit! Stop bullshitting me!  
> ¡Puta madre! ~ you should know this one by now (Fuck! Shit! Fucking A!)  
> ¿Qué coño te pasa? Trae bronca o qué? ~ You got a problem? What the HELL is going on?


	4. Ashes, Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ring around the rosy  
> Pocket full of posies  
> Ashes ashes,  
> we all fall down"  
> ~Mother Goose
> 
> The ground team goes to get Javik. Shepard finally checks in with Hackett. The Commander and her new XO have a conversation about the burdens of command. There's more porn... sort of.
> 
> If you're curious about how this story slightly alters canon, go and check out the video to see if you can catch the editing of Shepard's conversation with Hackett: https://youtu.be/iSPwyn3S3aU

Barely half an hour later James found himself suiting up to land on Eden Prime with Shepard and T'Soni. He knew Eliza had told Joker to keep the _Normandy_ out of Cerberus' way, but he also suspected that the confrontation over whether or not her XO was chosen as part of the landing party would come. Most likely as soon as she had other people she could bring planet-side.

 _The surprise is on her; I'm never not going to be part of the damn landing party._ James, however, knew better than to say it out loud.

No one spoke as they boarded the shuttle. Liara seemed almost in a trance. As they descended to the colony, the Asari's soft voice finally broke the silence. "Eden Prime. This is where it all began. Where the Prothean beacon gave you the vision that warned us about the Reapers."

James used the conversational opening to double-check his facts, "And where you went up against Saren and the Geth for the _first_ time, no?"

Strangely, Eliza remained silent. Liara was the one to answer him. "Yes. And now, with Cerberus here, Eden Prime's colonists are under attack _again_."

Shepard, unusually subdued, murmured "Seems like more than just three years ago."

 _She looks..._ "How bad?"

Eliza took a breath. "Lotta dead civilians. Lost one of my men - Jenkins - to a Geth drone."

Vega winced inwardly. _I thought I remembered reading that a lot of colonists died. Maybe she does understand - a bit - about Fehl Prime. Except-_ "Reports said Saren had bombs set up to wipe out the whole colony."

Her face registered a brief flash of anger. "Not on my watch."

James punted away his initial thought: _never be as good as Shepard_ , and instead acknowledged her victory: "Damn straight, Lola."

The Doc was still talking, and James wondered if Liara even realized Shepard was upset. "Cerberus hit Eden Prime hard. Whatever they found here was worth a major offensive. There are survivors elsewhere on the colony, but... they killed everyone near the dig site."

Vega watched a steely resolve and a deep sadness etch itself on the Commander's face. "They deserved better."

Liara agreed. "I know. The Alliance did what it could to evacuate colonists, but-" the Asari was obviously upset as well, "Cerberus came in so quickly..."

"If we find survivors, we'll do what we can." James had been waiting for her to change the subject, and wasn't shocked when she did. "What about this artifact? Is it part of the Prothean device we found on Mars?"

"The Alliance didn't get any specifics about what Cerberus has uncovered. But whatever it is, it's better off with us than with _Cerberus_."

Vega realized they were almost there when Cortez called out, "I'm bringing you in as close to the dig site as I can. No way we'll avoid detection, but you _should_ have a few minutes."

He heard Shepard say "Understood." He checked his rifle one last time and said a prayer that they'd all get back safely.

\--

James thought the worst part about walking into the colony was how devastated Shepard sounded about the damage Cerberus had done to Eden Prime. She even obliquely mentioned New York, and he'd _never_ expected to hear her openly acknowledge her past on an _away mission_. Perhaps because he and Liara already _knew_ about her upbringing on Earth, this time was different.

Vega watched T'Soni collect every scrap of intel they found on the computers, collating it for distribution to the resistance fighters massing in other parts of the colony. They'd clearly encountered a situation in which having the _Shadow Broker_ with them would make a huge difference. _Knowledge is power, you pinche pendejos. I hope the settlers wipe your invading asses OUT._

Moreover, the Doc's enthusiasm for the dig site was infectious. He found himself teasing her, and almost laughing when she took the bait. He knew damn well they'd more than likely be under attack any minute, but it was nice to be in the presence of someone for whom the away mission was more than just a fire-fight.

When then located the pod, it was almost anti-climactic. It didn't look like much. And Vega couldn't say he was thrilled about the idea of thawing out a potentially-dangerous alien ten feet away from the Commander. 

And Liara's near-worship of Prothean civillization was concerning, on a couple fronts. Did they really assume the Prothean, if they were even successful in communicating, was going to be helpful? James found himself questioning the Asari's wording of first contact. " **Uplifted** , huh? Like when the Salarians helped the Krogans to evolve a little.. faster?" _Remember how THAT went?_

She shrugged it off; her and Shepard's general bias seemed to be that _any_ information they could gather on the Protheans - the last civilization to fight this war - was all to the good. Vega was a bit more skeptical, but he kept his opinions close to his vest, and concentrated on keeping an eye out for the inevitable Cerberus response.

In that vein, after their first few skirmishes with Cerberus troops, James realized that - as long as he could _see_ her - he wasn't worried about Shepard at _all_. Part of it was undoubtedly the fact that his concentration was on the fight... but much of it was also how well she handled herself in combat. She wasn't taking insane risks; she even climbed on top of one of the habitats to snipe at Cerberus forces rather than meet them head-on. And Vega began to appreciate how well-rounded the destructive powers of a Sentinel were, as he watched her destabilize the energy of man and machine alike, over... and over.. and _over_.

Once they managed to find the information they needed to open the pod, they had to make it _back_ to the pod. The only development that gave Vega pause was when Cerberus dropped a heavy mech. He was gratified that Shepard stayed in cover and continued to drain the energy of both mech and driver, until the entire apparatus _exploded_ in a fiery mess... that took out some of the other Cerberus troops as well.

_Why was I worrying about her again? Oh, right- the assassination on Mars. The headlong run into danger. So that doesn't happen EVERY time. Maybe... only when civilians are involved?_

When the alien burst out of his stasis pod and attacked them, James corralled his first instinct (to retaliate), got back up on his feet, and waited to see what Eliza would do. He realized they were lucky that she'd found that cipher, could communicate with the creature, and had some insight into the final days of the last cycle. It blew his mind that this alien had lived fifty thousand years ago, and was just waking up again now.

_Glad that's not me. Dios en el cielo, don't **ever** let that be me._

\--

Vega gratefully grabbed a shower, changed into a uniform, and went back to the Shuttle Bay to wait for Shepard.

He heard chatter on the internal coms that she'd been called down to the Engineering deck to deal with the Prothean... and then no update on what transpired. Still, he figured she'd brief him. They had already discussed his duty shift. And how it was _her_ turn for a nap.

_Si Dios quiere, it's more than a nap, and I hope it goes better than mine did._

When Eliza did finally show up, she didn't say anything at first. She stood silently, inconspicuously leaning against his work table, and watched him typing on the keyboard.

 _She's exhausted_. He ended up starting the conversation by saying the one thing he figured they were both still thinking. "I still can't believe it... a real, live Prothean." Then he remembered T'Soni's summons, and wondered how it went. "Huh. Doc must be over the moon."

"You could say that." Her voice gave little away.

James tried again. "I heard the guy's not all there, exactly." His voice trailed off, inviting her to contradict him. When he glanced up, he realized she wasn't looking at him. She was looking behind his station. Vega didn't like the way her eyes kept wandering to the back bench, because he was pretty sure that's where he'd left-

He attempted to regain her attention. "Damn, I can't imagine. Brought forward fifty thousand years. Last of your kind." _You'd hate that, too, wouldn't you? It's not just me, right? Uh, mierda. Why did you have to **go** back there?_ "That's bound to screw with your mind."

"Yeah."

Shepard's feet had followed her eyes, and she was right on top of his new 'reading material'. She turned around once, almost as if she had decided it wasn't any of her business. But then she did an about-face and reached out to pick it up. 

_Mierda_. "You don't have to say anything."

She rolled it up into a cylinder, turned, and arched a brow at him.

"Aw, _shit_!" he mockingly drawled. _You know, I wouldn't have bought that if I still thought I had a chance in hell at company._

"I'll just take this." Her eyes laughed at him. "And go to _bed_."

_It takes a certain level of evil to steal a man's porn and then say that, Eliza._

Vega tried not to squirm as the mental pictures swamped him. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She snorted. "Right back at you. Try to keep the ship in one piece, huh?"

James grinned at her. "Seem to remember something explosive happening to the _last_ Normandy while you were in command, Lola... but I'll try. As tempting as it would be to take on a few Reapers while you're asleep."

Her brows rose. "NO Reapers, James. Scan the systems we'll pass through - I think EDI mentioned Horse Head, Hawking ETA... either Nimah or Caleston... Omega, and Sigurd's Cradle - for wreckage and survivors. And _just_ the ones on the way to Sanctum... unless EDI or Joker get a hunch on another system. If any Reaper forces detect us, get the _hell_ out of there." Eliza's jaw tightened. "That's my decision _because_ I've already been on a ship they destroyed." Her face had gone grave. "We have to be in one piece to find that Primarch tomorrow."

James straightened off the bench, work forgotten. "You're taking me down to Sanctum, right?"

Shepard fidgeted. "If you're up all night, you'll need another sleep period, Lieutenant. I was going to ask Javik. He seems eager enough to fight." She made a face. "Of course, he mentioned still feeling the effects of cryo. He may not be ready."

"With all due respect... _Commander_ ," Vega drawled the word, "I _owe_ Cerberus payback for Mars as much as you do. Eden Prime didn't come _anywhere close_ to satisfying me on that score; in fact, it _added_ to the balance."

She scowled at him. "You'll be tired, and I'd rather you were with me on Palaven."

Vega felt his eyes narrow. _This is important. I know she thinks the XO should stay behind, but *I* need to be with her, dammit._ "I want to go to Palaven, too; I told you I've never been. Santum will be quick - _si Dios quiere_ \- and I'll catch a nap before Palaven."

Eliza exhaled sharply. He could almost see the fight drain out of her. "Just so we're clear - you _do_ understand the point of having an executive officer is that *I* get to go with the landing party, secure in the knowledge that if anything happens to me, the ship is in good hands? And, that if the XO goes _with_ me, and something _happens_ to me, something will most likely have happened to the XO as well? Which means the ship is _not_ \- by definition - left in good hands?"

James arched a brow at her. "Esteban thinks pretty highly of your Chief Engineer. I hear he's been serving with the Alliance a long time. Pretty sure he's a rank above me, too, isn't he?"

Shepard starting walking away, shaking her head. " _Fine_. He can cover for you, Vega. For away missions. For _now_. Until we recruit someone else who's as good of a shot as you are."

She paused before the workstations, apparently watching Cortez endeavoring with all his might not to eavesdrop on them. She pivoted and called back: "But _you_ get to tell Adams. He's going to _adore_ the idea."

\--

For all of five seconds, James thought Cortez was going to take pity on him. He realized his error when the pilot drawled loudly "Should I get Lieutenant Adams on the com?"

"Stuff it, Esteban."

Vega closed down the schematic he'd been editing, inhaled hugely, exhaled purposefully, squared his shoulders, and marched through the workstations on his way to the elevator. "I'll be in Engineering."

"I'll inform Dr. Chakwas to get a tranquilizer ready."

James paused to _glare_ at Cortez. " _Stop_ acting like this is funny, dammit. You KNOW I need to be on those away missions. And you know why."

Steve sobered slightly, though his light blue eyes still twinkled. "I do. But you and I both got to know Adams fairly well during the retrofit, and you and I _both_ know Shepard is right: he's going to hyperventilate when you tell him."

Vega sighed in frustration. Then a thought occurred to him and he smiled... grimly.

"All right then, **Lieutenant.** If he passes out, I know who's _next_ on my list. It'll be worth flying the damn shuttle, just to stick you with command."

James entered the elevator, turning just in time to see Steve's face... before the doors swooshed shut.

_Revenge is sweet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> interesting fact? i moved the Reaper attack (slightly) to coincide with a Bioware Youtuber's birthday. what can i say - some people want dancing girls; some people want gigantic sentient machines harvesting their species. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
> 
> THE TIMELINE: for purposes of the story, the Reapers attack at approximately noon on Thursday October 14th 2186. Shepard's scramble to get to the Normandy takes little actual time; ditto the flight to Mars. thwarting Cerberus takes maybe a half hour; ditto the flight to the Citadel. the Council session might be 15 minutes, and the meeting with the Turian ambassador maybe 5 min. Shepard actually spends the most time staring out the window of Huerta, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened to her day. when she returns to the Normandy, it's barely 16:00 hours. she spends time checking on her crew and giving orders for the next destination. Vega is _supposed_ to be sleeping, but when she finds him awake and working out in the Shuttle Bay, all bets are off and they might as well go do the mission. she comes back from that, chats with Hackett, with Javik, then James. it's MAYBE 18:00 by the time she goes to bed. 
> 
> upon fact-checking travel times, it turns out that Eden Prime (our first destination) is in Exodus Cluster, with a Relay connected directly to Widow (the Citadel). so travel time would be as short as getting clearance to leave the Citadel, access the Relay, pop up in Exodus Cluster, and travel to Eden Prime. it would be fast, maybe a half hour. whereas travel to Sanctum afterwards is a 5 Relay jump, if you're trying to avoid Sol (normally could do Sol to Caleston Rift).
> 
> the Spanish:  
> Dios en el cielo ~ God in heaven  
> si Dios quiere ~ God willing


	5. Duck and Cover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Time will bring to light whatever is hidden; it will cover up and conceal what is now shining in splendor."  
> ~ Horace
> 
> James is doing the XO Thing, the Sanctum Thing, the Caring About People Thing... all while wishing he was doing the Shepard Thing. poor kid.

James was ready to tap out of paperwork. _And_ research. At least - despite the incomplete assistance of C-Sec - he and EDI believed they'd positively identified which ex-Cerberus engineers had decamped to the Citadel. He fervently wished Shepard was willing to take the time to stop on their way to Palaven. 

Privately, Vega admitted that he just might be looking for a way to butter up Lieutenant Adams before they informed the man about the new 'chains of command'. After he left Cortez, James had indeed ridden the elevator to Deck Four... then up to the Crew Deck for food... and then up to the CIC, to start working with EDI. He didn't stop to talk to Greg Adams. More to the point, he didn't intend to talk with the Chief Engineer. He wanted _Eliza_ to do it. Vega rationalized this abject cowardice by assuring himself that Shepard was far better at breaking bad news than he was. More compassionate. Tactful.

_It'll be better coming from her. Not to mention it's probably going to take a careful Shepard-like invitation to get Donnelly and Daniels to re-join the Alliance in the middle of a war._

"Lieutenant Vega?"

"Yes, EDI?"

"Commander Shepard is awake. Dr. T'Soni and Specialist Traynor went to her cabin to brief her on various communications. I included a report on the resources we recovered. I sent a chime to Lieutenant Moreu's cabin. He is also awake." The raspy voice paused. "Though he is not as jovial at present as his moniker would imply."

"He only got three hours of rest, EDI, so that's not surprising. I'm going back to the Armory to prep the loadout for Sanctum. Let me know when we're on approach?"

"Of course, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, EDI."

\--

**_SHEP: did you inform Adams?_ **  
**VEGA: uh**  
**_SHEP: JAMES_ **  
**VEGA: i decided it would sound better coming from you**  
**_SHEP: YOU decided?_ **  
**VEGA: yup. you're much better at bad news. BUT, i talked to Cortez - he's willing to stay. i don't love it, and i'm not Esteban, but i *can* fly a shuttle**  


James wasn't shocked when his omni-tool flashed and he suddenly heard her voice. "We only _have_ one more shuttle, James. What we _don't_ have is a guaranteed _landing zone_. Cortez is our edge at quick extraction. **You're** _only_ coming down because I need your gun. I'll leave Joker in command, for now. Though - he's not happy about it either, and you're probably going to hear it from him eventually." The omni-tool flashed as the channel closed.

 _Last word, huh?_ James pouted. _I didn't even get to make a crack about how you 'need my gun'._

**VEGA: hey, i found Donnelly and Daniels. you can't be too pissed at me**  
**_SHEP: we're on approach. EDI said you wanted to know. we're not done talking about this. just done talking about it NOW_ **

\--

It turned out that Shepard was right... _again_. Sanctum didn't have much of a landing zone. Esteban found it prudent to dust off, and escape being swarmed by the Cerberus troops who were invading the laboratory with alarming frequency. The call had evidently gone out; James was beginning to suspect - given their improved communications - they may have somehow detected the _Normandy_ in orbit. Shepard hadn't even grabbed the first bit of Reaper tech Hackett wanted before soldiers were firing on them. Inevitably they got pinned down in the LZ, waiting for Cortez to come back.

_OK. Yeah. I'm glad I'm not flying right now. I greatly prefer being able to shoot **back**._

James had one very bad moment, when two Cerberus troopers crept up on Shepard. She'd left herself exposed, trying to rout the Centurions pouring down the stairs. It was likely she'd assumed he had her back. Which he _had_ , until _he'd_ started to get over-run from the opposing corridor. Before he could shout to warn her she'd swung around - almost as if she could sense them closing - though she took a couple hits before Reaving them off the platform. She'd had to shoot a few others before the energy drain caught up with them.

Then there were the grenades. He'd rolled out of cover several times to avoid them, and was gratified that Shepard did likewise... until she _didn't_.  
Occasionally, she hunkered down and took the hit. The times he'd watched her do that, he'd experienced a brief flare of panic, before assuming her shields must be at full power. But he wondered. He made a mental note to ask her how rapidly her shields regenerated when she was using Reave, hoping _how_ she used all the energy she was draining out of the enemy wasn't a sore point.

Even before the landing party made it back to the _Normandy_ , Cortez and EDI had sent the schematics they'd retrieved off to the Admiral. Shepard shucked off her armor in the Shuttle Bay and disappeared to make the report official. Vega, realizing he was soaked through with sweat, shoved most of their gear behind his workstation for later perusal, and went up two decks to grab a shower and change clothes.

\--

James was tired enough that he considered proceeding from restroom to Crew Quarters. He knew he was supposed to; he'd promised Shepard he'd grab another sleep period before Palaven, and he was utterly unwilling to endanger his presence on _that_ mission. But the tumbled pile of armor niggled at his brain; it went against the grain for him to not run an Armory check after a mission - no matter how brief - in which _everyone_ had taken excessive fire.

_Ten minutes. She can't yell at me for taking ten minutes to catalogue the gear and see if anything needs to be repaired._

Which was how he stumbled across Esteban, listening to That Recording again.

\--

The lift door opened. Vega assumed - hoped - it was Eliza. He wasn't sure how Cortez could _not_ know - given how well sound traveled in the Shuttle Bay - that James was listening. He'd heard the end of that recording so many damn times, he knew it by heart...

_"I love you. But I know you. Don't make me an anchor. Promise me, Steve. No! Don't-"_

"Commander. Sorry. I didn't see you there." Cortez evidently wasn't so lost in thought he'd ignore the fact that Shepard had walked up behind him. Vega told himself to focus his attention on checking over their armor. Let Eliza handle it.

_Dios knows *I* never managed to get him to **really** talk about it._

Esteban was explaining. "-from Ferris Fields." 

_Mierda. He's gonna tell her._

"Months ago. I lost a lot of friends that day. I- lost my husband. I grieved, said good-bye, made my peace..."

Per her usual MO, Shepard seemed to target the most painful spot. "You were talking with him when the Collectors hit?"

"I was organizing construction at a remote station a few clicks south of the main colony. Robert managed to get outside of the field the Collectors put up. 'Stead of running, he called me."

"I'm sorry for your loss. He obviously cared a lot about you."

Ten meters away, Vega winced. _I'm not sure reinforcing his pain is actually gonna help him break out of it, Shepard._

"He was afraid I wouldn't let go-"

 _With good reason,_ James mentally interjected.

"-but for him, I moved on."

_No you didn't. Son mamadas, Esteban._

"At least I thought I had. Then the invasion hits. There's no time. And the one thing I grab is _this_? I mean, what's the point of moving on with your life, when everything is going to hell?"

James quieted his inner monologue enough to concentrate on what Shepard was going to say in reply. He even kicked aside the sinking feeling that anything Eliza was about to say would apply more to **Alenko** than himself.

"Start thinking that way, and we've already lost."

Vega tried not to snort too loudly. _Vintage Shepard._

But Esteban surprised James by agreeing with her. "Yeah, you're right. But... to be honest? I've never felt as alone as I do right now."

_Alone, a mí tampoco. Lo que da sentido a la vida?_

"You're not alone, Steve. I'm here. Any time you need me."

 _¡A poco! Why didn't *I* get that?_ James frowned at a dent in his greaves from a hit he didn't remember taking.

"I appreciate that, Shepard. I really do. But don't worry, Commander. When I'm in that pilot's seat, I'm there a hundred percent. I won't fail you. It's just the down-time between missions that's hard. Y'know?"

And James flinched at Eliza's tone of voice when she wistfully answered Esteban: "I know..."

\--

Five minutes later, Vega realized THIS was his karma for being jealous of the quality of Shepard's attention as it fixed on Cortez. He figured she might swing by, nod at him as if to say 'I handled it, now why aren't you in bed?' and he'd get to arch an eyebrow at her as if to say 'I'll gladly go to bed; care to join me?' and all would be well.

It was not to be.

"You mentioned a mission you had against the Collectors. What happened?"

_Madre de Dios, Shepard. Esteban gets 'I'm here any time you need me?' and *I* get **this**?_

"Pretty much what I said. Things went FUBAR, and I was one of the few to make it out. You want the rest of the story, you're gonna have to get me really drunk, or-" He tried not to think about the myriad other ways she could try to get the information out of him. How he'd ended up telling her about his father.

Eliza didn't miss his hesitation. He wondered if her thoughts had followed his. "Or what?"

_Oh no. Not here, in front of Cortez. I'm already in enough trouble._

"That's about it. Sorry, Commander. Just not interested in talking about that." He wondered if she'd get the hint, or if she'd already dug her teeth in too far. "Next topic?"

"What's with you and the nicknames?" _She went lighter, at least._

"It's just my way of remembering people. Some people just don't match their names, you know? So, I just give them a new one."

He watched her tilt her head, then barely arch a brow. "So I'm a 'Lola', huh?"

 _That look is worth the story._ "Yeah, my best friend's sister growing up was Lola. Older sister. Hot. Tough." He tried to control his tone and not grin to widely at her; he didn't want to actually get punched in places Sanctum had left tender.

"Riiight." She drawled it slowly, and her head tilted to the left and up, exposing her neck. It was enough to force James' thoughts back, with some discomfort, to how hot she'd been under him until the damned Admiral had come calling six months ago. _Her head tilted, just that way... Puta madre!_ He sternly lectured himself not to move, not to even shift his damn feet. _Get to the point, Eliza, will you?_

But she dodged again, and asked him the same question she'd asked Steve: the one that had reactivated the pilot's downward spiral: "You got family back on Earth?"

 _No reason not to tell her._ "Yeah, an uncle. Retired military. Got a few cousins I haven't heard from in a while."

"You and your uncle close?" _Does she remember what I told her about the tattoos?_

"Yeah, he was the reason I joined the Marines. Was about the only good thing in my life after my mom died." Vega saw Eliza's eyes flash, and realized she was indeed putting two and two together.

"I take it you and Lieutenant Cortez know each other?"

_How much to say? Especially with him standing right there..._

"Yeah, Esteban did a stint on Fehl Prime where me and my squad were stationed." James suddenly balked and casually looked around as he dealt with his information drop. _**Mierda** , WHY did I give her the name of the colony?_ "I caught up with him on Earth a few months back. He's a good guy. Just don't tell him I said so. It'd go to his head."

He met her eyes. She nodded briefly, pivoted, walked off. He watched her jog to the elevator and realized almost immediately he was going to follow her. It was **beyond** time _he_ got to ask some questions.

And they wouldn't all be about Cortez.

\--

James took a deep breath before hitting the panel next to the door to Shepard's cabin.

_You're the Executive Officer. You're worried about Cortez. This is business. You have a datapad and a bunch of questions that she completely distracted you from asking. And she can't actually throw you in the brig for doing your damn job._

"Yeah!?" he heard her yell. He strode into the cabin, stopped by the fishtank, looked down into the sunken sleeping area. There was no one there. He glanced around, confused, and stepped to the desk. He turned as the bathroom door slid open. The shower... was running. And Shepard...

_Oh no. Not again. She's going to **flay** you this time..._

James watched with a sinking feeling as Shepard pivoted, caught sight of him, and expostulated "What the **hell** are you doing in here?"

_Wet. Gorgeous. **Pissed**._

James politely turned his back on his executioner. "You called me in here."

"No, I did not. I said 'Yeah', not 'Come in'!"

James clenched his jaw, stepped sideways twice, and watched the door start to slide shut. He stopped it half way, then prevented it from sliding all the way open again through sheer force. The gap now reminded him strongly of the gap she'd created in the curtain on HIS shower, after she'd found out someone at the job site had molested him. He remembered her jealousy, how she'd seemed to consider joining him in the shower. _Times sure change_. "You remember you were in _favor_ of my becoming XO, right? Can you still hear me?"

A pause. "Yes. What is it? We _just_ spoke."

He realized that if he turned the slightest bit more, he might be able to see her in the mirror, yet appear to her as if he was facing away. He struggled with temptation. "I don't get what the big deal is. Get right down to it, you still _owe_ me a show."

"What. The. HELL. Do. You. _Want_?" She hesitated, then couldn't seem to stop herself. "And _how_ do you figure that?"

He ignored her first question, because he knew damn well she wouldn't like his current answer. "You had pretty much talked yourself into GIVING me a show and I had to open up my big damn mouth and ruin it. Plus, I definitely gave you one, the day Kaidan showed up." He winced. _Mistake to mention Alenko._

A flash of movement in his peripheral vision caused him to involuntarily glance through the door gap. She'd turned, and what he saw made him gasp. He inadvertently released the door, and it gratefully retracted into the wall.

"What. THE. **FUCK** , Shepard?"

"I told you to get out."

He stepped fully into the bathroom - avoiding the water - and reached out to grasp her shoulders. He carefully turned her back and forth, whistling; the bruises on her back and side stretched from scapula to ilium. Even slightly beyond.

"When *I* looked - well, no where _near_ that bad - _you_ made me get medigel. Did YOU get medigel?"

"No. I got done with Hackett, and then Traynor informed me about Cortez. I'm still considering it. _You're_ supposed to be **asleep**. Get _out_."

"I'll leave as soon as you get treatment. I'm calling Chakwas and having her bring up a stim. I can not _fucking_ believe she doesn't make you check in with her after you get hit by grenades."

"Look, you know I administered a dose during the fight. I've been debating more since I hopped off the shuttle. I just got distracted." She bristled. "It's pretty _damn_ hypocritical of YOU - the one who won't take medigel for 'mere bruising' unless he's going right back out into another fight - to be lecturing ME on stims."

"Granted. But we _are_ \- more than likely - going right back out into another fight-"

The door chimed. James, incredibly irritated, didn't even think; he yelled out "WHAT?!?"

Eliza hissed at him "That's exactly how *I* got into trouble."

Samantha, already chatting away, strode into view near the desk. "Commander Shepard, is this a better time? I have-" She stopped dead at the sight of James standing next to their naked, wet Commander.

"Traynor, what do you want _now_?" Shepard's voice was exasperation personified.

"I... uh..." Samantha was holding a datapad stiffly out in front of her, like a shield.

Vega wasn't playing around any more. "Forget that. Traynor, do YOU think the Commander should be in Medbay?" James reached out a hand and spun Shepard around again so that the Specialist could see the meter-long bruise on Eliza's back and side.

The younger woman went white. "Commander- that-" She suddenly found her voice. " _YES_ , she should _bloody well_ be in Medbay!"

"I rest my case."

Eliza jerked out of his hold. "You **son** of a-"

"Aht ah. Traynor, call Chakwas and have her bring up a couple stims, will you?"

"I'M GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER, AND I'D BETTER BE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS BATHROOM WHEN I DO. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

Traynor fled the bathroom. James arched a brow at Eliza, pivoted, and sauntered out. The door slid shut behind him.

\--

Shepard appeared in her cabin, wrapped in a towel, a minute later... almost at the same time that the main door opened to admit a sleepy Dr. Chakwas.

"Commander, I-" The doctor paused, apparently surprised at how many people were in the room, but then her gaze focused on the ugly black bruising that showed over the towel Shepard wore. "Well, that makes more sense."

Shepard walked down the steps to her bed and plopped onto it. "Why are my quarters suddenly a Turian bedroom farce?"

"Take one or two stim shots and I'll leave. Pull yourself off the duty roster and get another hour of sleep. I know - better than either of these young people - that you can care for yourself. But that bruising IS rather spectacular, and you're more than likely to get blown up again on Palaven." She followed Shepard down the stairs and handed over two syringes.

Eliza sighed. "Yes, Mom."

Chakwas laughed, said "Heaven forfend," and left.

Shepard sighed, fingering the medigel. "Who's next?"

Traynor cleared her throat and weakly waved her datapad. "I, um, just wanted your take on some new-"

" **EDI!?** " the Commander yelled.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Is it solid?"

"Yes, I believe that between them, Samantha and Jeff have come up with a plan to-"

" _Nevermind._ Just do it. Look, Traynor - I trust you and Joker and EDI to do whatever is in the _Normandy_ 's best interests. If you need help - _help_ , mind you, not approval - programming something or hacking into a database, then come to me. But realize EDI is probably going to have figured it out by the time you get up here."

"Shepard, I'm flattered."

"That's not flattery, EDI, it's fact. Just... take care of this stuff without me. Everything I reviewed looked solid. The upgrades are going to be stellar. You don't even need me for money, though if it makes you feel better for me to do official requisitions, I'll do them. OK?"

Traynor's mouth hung open, but she nodded.

Eliza made a "shuffle off" motion with her right hand, and the Specialist bolted. When it was just the two of them, Shepard raised her eyes to his. "Why are you still here?"

_You're sitting on your bed in only a towel... and that's even a question?_

"I wanted to know what you thought about what Esteban told you - if you think he's really OK - but now I'm more concerned about you. Also, I told you I'd leave once you took the stim. You're still holding it."

Shepard carefully dropped the back of her towel and administered a shot of medigel with a controlled grimace. "There. Happy?"

"Ecstatic. Did you eat?"

He could see the surprise on her face. "Uh... protein bar... protein drink... I, uh, have the rest of the drink right here..."

Vega couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Have you had _food_?"

"Is this my life again? One of us in a towel and you poking me to eat?"

Something about her arch reply pushed him over the edge. "There are plenty of things I'd rather be doing, but you've said no so many times I'm losing hope."

He watched her stiffen. Then her face fell. It almost seemed as if the will to keep treating this as a joke - or a fluke that happened months ago, but no longer applied - suddenly disappeared. "Look, James... I... get it. And - on some level - I even agree. But it's... complicated, especially since, well, I'm in command again." She paused, took a deep breath, and added "and because I figured out I actually care about you. Real feelings, not... 'make me feel better for five minutes' feelings."

Vega tried not to move as he processed this, remembering she'd said something similar a long time ago. His stomach tightened, but he struggled to sound nonchalant as he tossed back "Five minutes? Think _again_."

"Ah." Shepard stood up and moved the the head of her bed, throwing back the covers. "So that's that. Now you know where I am, where I've been for awhile. I'm not willing to do something one-sided ever again, _especially_ with a direct report, so why don't you get the hell out of here and run the ship for another hour while I sleep off this apparently _life-threatening_ bruise?" She shifted, winced, and stuck herself in the shoulder with the second stim. "Assuming I can _get_ to sleep again."

There really wasn't much else he could do. He saluted and turned to leave. He was almost to the door when her voice stopped him. "Oh-"

He looked over his shoulder; she was sliding cautiously into bed.

_Puta madre, Eliza, deja de torturarme, por favor._

"Since I check my messages _constantly_ now, I happened to catch another Command request that arose from Sanctum. I think we need to go. I forwarded you the mission brief. A general under Hackett's command wants to capitalize on what we found in the lab... _before_ we go to Palaven. They believe if we strike fast, we can use the information we've found to stick a wrench in Cerberus' recruiting efforts. I let Allers and Joker know already; it means diverting to Hades Nexus." She rocked sideways and back, and finally pulled the towel from under the covers and tossed it to the floor; James experienced a strong, sudden, _insane_ urge to join her, and damn the consequences. "If it's another fight, will you be OK, or-"

"I'll be fine, Lola. I'm gonna go finish checking our gear." He turned and walked out.

_With a stop somewhere to problem-solve._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Shepard still had the nightmare, but not some (IMHO) ridiculous indoctrination-theory Star Child BS. the "running time" of her nightmare is actually a bit longer, and the dream sequence has been hugely altered, to reflect her actual fears/thoughts since the Reapers attacked. if you're curious about the nightmare, i suggest you go check out the video: https://youtu.be/azOJDObFK8A. we _will_ finally get Shepard's POV in Chapter 7, but not every aspect of her nightmare.
> 
> (2) For Those Watching the Videos: there's a dearth of footage between dealing with the aftermath of the nightmare and Sanctum, and there is obviously no footage of the very end of the chapter. there will likely be more of these video outages as the narrative peels off. i only wish i had the animating talent to create intervening scenes out of whole cloth. :D
> 
> (3) a few snips were taken in James' secondary dialogue with Shepard. 
> 
> regarding the tone/content of the video footage: my intent was always to _use_ the fact that the dialogue in the play-through is a little stilted (the voice-acting is solid, but it feels like the writing is trying to cover a host of possibilities) to imply that (unlike when they both had _some_ modicum of privacy, and she wasn't his Commander) Vega and Shepard lie by omission to each other with some frequency now. while i set this up intentionally to work with the play-through, i kind of love this dynamic... especially given how concerned with being honest they both were at one point.
> 
> so you have Shepard feeling All the Feelz (but not really talking about them cause War and Other Things) who just wants to make sure James is OK/not suicidal, Cortez is OK/not suicidal, then go back to her room to _shower and change_. and James is... well, you see how James is. i feel a little bad for him, too, since he can push... but only so far.
> 
> (4) timeline: 
> 
> ~ 24:00 Shepard wakes from nightmare/gives up on sleep. current location is Decoris. Sanctum mission takes 5-10 min gear up, 5 min flight time, 12 min searching for Reaper tech and fighting Cerberus, 5 min flight back, 5 min gear off. 30-40 min total. maybe takes 5-10 min to get Hackett on the QEC; he's had intel for 10-15 minutes before Shepard briefs. James gets back from showering and changing, finds Cortez crying. alerts Traynor. ~01:00 Normandy has turned back for Sigurd's Cradle Mass Relay, Shepard is comforting Cortez, talking to James. ~01:15 Shepard thinks James is headed to sleep, goes back to her cabin for a shower, reads messages. ~01:30 Shepard goes to sleep again, destination is now Hoplos.
> 
> (5) that Hercules mission - as well as the armor and note in the bathroom closet - are pieces of EGM. welcome to expanded missions and cute little details (like that fact that this bathroom should have been Anderson's).
> 
> the Spanish:
> 
> a mí tampoco ~ the same is true for me (used after a negative statement)  
> lo que da sentido a la vida ~ what gives meaning to life?  
> ¡A poco! ~ seriously? really?  
> deja de torturarme, por favor ~ please stop torturing me


	6. Right Humerus Radius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away;  
> A single laugh demolished the right arm  
> Of his country."  
> ~ Lord Byron
> 
> humor! we missed you.
> 
> James wakes up to a complicated day that only gets more complicated as time wears on. again, poor kid.

"Lieutenant."

James jerked awake and instinctively surveyed his surroundings. He was lying in an upper bunk, in the seemingly-empty crew quarters. It wasn't immediately apparent _who_ had spoken. "Ye-eah?"

"Lieutenant, you asked to be awakened when we passed through the Serpent Nebula."

Vega sat up, rubbing a hand across his face. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and jumped down from the bunk; the _THUD_ of his landing was a loud counterpoint to his slowing heartbeat. " _EDI._ Thank you. Status report?"

"Correspondent Allers finished her broadcast from Trident approximately one hour and twenty-five minutes ago. Commander Shepard did not alter our course to stop at the Citadel, but _Normandy_ is waiting for clearance at the Widow Relay; I anticipate our entrance to the Apien Crest in less than five minutes, and our arrival at Menae in less than half an hour."

While the AI was detailing the events that had transpired during his sleep period, James left the crew quarters and entered the lavatory. Now he stood in front of one of the urinals, pondering whether or not EDI would be offended if he spoke with her and peed at the same time. Also, wondering if his brain was truly awake, because their new destination... wasn't registering. 

"Menae?"

"Yes, Lieutenant. Commander Shepard was informed that the Turian Primarch's last known location was Palaven's moon."

"Oh." _Mierda, you read that in the brief. **Wake UP**._ "Let Shepard know I'm awake and headed down to the Shuttle Bay to prep our gear. Vega out." He gratefully began to urinate.

"Lieutenant-" James jumped, utterly missed the bowl, and swore loudly in Spanish, "- my programming does not include a preference against humans engaging in necessary bodily functions while communicating with me. For the future."

The XO sighed, already reaching for compostable towels to clean up his mess. "Noted, EDI. _Gracias_."

\--

**_EDI: Is this less invasive, Lieutenant?_ **

James, sorting the armor load-out, snorted to himself.

**VEGA: either is fine EDI. you just caught me with my pants down before. so to speak**  
**_EDI: That is a joke, Lieutenant?_ **

James sighed and hit the button that turned on his voice protocol. "Yes, EDI, that was a joke. What is it?"

"I was told to inform you, once you awakened from your sleep period, that Chief Engineer Adams suffered rapid heartbeat, chest tightness, shortness of breath, dizziness, and hyperventilation upon being informed of the proposed command change. I have searched more than six hundred medical databases; it is my considered opinion that this decision has a very low probability of contributing to the health of Chief Engineer Adams. I wished to remind you that Engineer Adams is... _necessary_ to my continued functionality, and express my... _preference_ that you and Commander Shepard not approach him on this matter again."

Across the bay, Vega heard a smothered, snorted, laugh before Cortez loudly muttered "CALLED IT."

Vega clenched his jaw. _Pendejo._ "I understand, EDI. But shouldn't you be talking to Commander Shepard about this?"

"The Commander was present during the initial onset of symptoms. She was the one who suggested I inform you."

 _Oh. **Mierda**._ "I see. Thank you, EDI." _A la chingada!_

A chuckling Cortez left his pre-flight check - clearly intending to walk over - and James held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks "It's _still_ not funny, Esteban."

"You do, however, owe me ten credits."

"Fine." James turned back to the armor bench, murmuring " _Pendejo_."

\--

**_JJM: i hear i have YOU to thank for this_ **

Behind him, Shepard had just entered the Shuttle Bay. James heard Esteban greet her, but he also could still _feel_ her moving toward him. He wasn't as freaked out about it as he'd been after they'd first escaped the null room, but it remained somewhat distracting.

**VEGA: to thank for what?**  
**_JJM: being LEFT IN COMMAND? AGAIN?_ **

Eliza had reached his side and he'd handed her the mottled emerald armor without even thinking. Her gaze settled on the flash of messages registering on his omni-tool. He shrugged and turned back to his workstation.

**VEGA: who else is going to go down, Joker?**  
**_JJM: SO many jokes, SO little time. look - this is NOT my job. i'm just supposed to fly the ship. YOU guys need to SETTLE this_ **  
**VEGA: when we get back with the Primarch, you'll have tell the story again**  
**_JJM: stop trying to bullshit me, Vega_ **  
**_JJM: what story?_ **  
**VEGA: the one where you were left alone to defend the Normandy while a hoard of Collectors boarded it, correctly chose to unshackle the AI that presently inhabits it, and ultimately saved both ship and crew**

There was a long minute of no texted response, in which Liara came to claim her kit and began to put it on. Across the bay, next to the Kodiak, Shepard was already fully armored and testing her weapons.

**_JJM: you are SO FULL OF SHIT, Vega_ **  
**_JJM: fine. just - neither of you better even THINK about dying on me_ **  
**VEGA: it's not in The Plan, Joker. trust me**

\--

"Holy hell." James stared at the viewscreen in disbelief. "They're getting decimated."

"Strongest military in the galaxy, and the Reapers are _obliterating_ it." Eliza sounded a little too defeated for Vega's peace of mind.

"Was it like this on Earth?" James winced. He knew Liara thought she was being helpful, but-

"Yes." The curt tone he knew so well. The one that didn't _quite_ say 'don't be such an idiot'... but wasn't far off.

"Shepard, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah." Eliza sounded lost, and James wrestled with his irritation at T'Soni. _Doc, you can shut up at any time now._

"Commander!" Cortez shouted toward the back of the shuttle. "The LZ's getting swarmed."

_Again? What is it with us and never finding a clear landing zone?_

"James, open that hatch."

Vega reached up and muscled the door open, trying to stay out of Eliza's way and wondering how far her biotics could reach. The answer was... Very Far Indeed.

He watched as she flung her powers out at the cliff as they glided past; the leading trio of climbing husks began to shrivel and eventually fell to their deaths. She took out several more the same way, as the shuttle came in to hover over the LZ. Vega had enabled the weapons option that caused their ammunition to get hot and ultimately catch fire, but they hadn't needed it. He barely got off ten shots before Shepard had drained - consumed? - every husk in the area. He again felt that little shiver of fear... and arousal. 

_Madre de Dios. A dozen dead. So fast._

Turian fighters on the barricade shouted out the location of the command center, and they eventually located General Corinthus some minutes later. Shepard's face barely gave away her regret when she learned that their diversion to Trident (while doing serious damage to Cerberus) had cost them the previous Primarch; Fedorian's shuttle had been blown up an hour prior to their arrival.

Corinthus might have had bad news to impart, but he also promised to find the information Shepard needed: the name of the new leader of Palaven. Given all the causalities, Corinthus surmised that only Palaven High Command would know who in the succession was still alive. However, Menae currently didn't have a way to contact the planet's surface; Reaper forces had targeted and disabled communications. Shepard agreed to clear out the area around the com tower and attempt to repair it. 

They'd slaughtered another few dozen husks, restored communications, and were simply biding time aiding the Turian defenses, when Corinthus finally indicated he'd gotten a response to his query. Rather than trust to the security of their omni-tools, they retreated to the compound to hear the information in person. The General began with a disclaimer - that the chain of succession was _usually_ cut and dried, but now-

James could sense an imminent explosion brewing in Eliza. She commenced ripping into Corinthus... but her tirade was cut short when another Turian stepped forward and addressed her by name.

"I'm on it, Shepard. We'll find you the Primarch."

Vega couldn't see her face, but Eliza's body jolted with shock as she exclaimed "Garrus!"

James narrowed his eyes as he took in the grim-visaged soldier. Tall - even for a Turian - scarred mandible... _did I hear something about that?_ The armor matched the face: well-made and sore-used. And, cradled in his arms, an intricately-modded Viper rifle that Vega instantly coveted.

_And Shepard told him I was her 'babysitter.' Nice one, Lola. Thanks for that._

The General snapped to, which impressed the hell out of James. "Vakarion, Sir. I didn't see you arrive."

"At ease, General." The tall Turian shrugged off Corinthus' deference as if it were nothing.

"It's good to see you again," Shepard said. Her tone was relieved, happy, and James gritted his teeth against the familiar jealousy. _FORGET. THE. ROOF. They're **friends** , dammit._ "I thought you'd be on Palaven."

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven. I'm the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces, so I'm-" He shrugged, "-advising." 

Vega was gratified when Eliza suddenly swung around and called to him by name. He scrambled forward. "James, this is Garrus Vakarion." They shook hands - or hand and talons - and Vega watched the Turian's eyes flash. He realized Vakarion had just figured out who he was.

Shepard, still sounding relieved, finished with "he helped me stop the Collectors; he's a hell of a soldier."

Vega's guess was confirmed when - despite the fact that his favorite set of dark armor had no insignia - Garrus addressed him as "Lieutenant." Then the Turian's head tilted to the side. "Good to see you, too, Liara."

James carefully stepped back. _Big ol' SR-1 reunion strikes again._

T'Soni's greeting was more expansive, making James wonder just how much the damage on Menae and Palaven was affecting her. "Good to see you in one piece, Garrus."

Vakarion turned back to Shepard. "General Corinthus filled me in. We know who we're after."

James - while acknowledging he was setting a low bar for Eliza's behavior - was nonetheless mollified when she failed to shake Garrus until a name fell out. Behind her, he heard the original Turian officer speak up again: "Palaven Command tells me that the next Primarch is General Adrien Victus."

Liara's chimed in, tone strangely cautious, "Victus? His name's crossed my desk."

James sighed. _Shadow Broker. Suppose I'm getting used to it. No matter how it was gathered, her depth of intel is muy bien._

Eliza looked at Liara, then back at Vakarion. "Know him, Garrus?"

"I was fighting alongside him this morning. Life-long military. Gets results. Popular with his troops." Vakarion paused. " _Not_ so popular with military command. Has a reputation for playing loose with accepted strategy."

This puzzled Vega; he was gratified when Shepard asked "What do you mean?"

But it was The Shadow Broker who answered. "On Taetrus, during the uprisings, his squad discovered a salarian spy ring about the same time the Turian separatists did. Rather than neutralize the ring, he fell back. He even gave up valuable fortifications, which the rebels took."

Liara paused, perhaps to allow Shepard to ask questions, but Garrus finished her story. "Then the rebels attacked the salarians, and when both groups had worn each other down, Victus moved back in. Didn't lose a man."

James liked it. Tactically, it was brilliant. _Smart. Very, **very** smart._

Corinthus was less impressed. "Bold strategy. But wild behavior doesn't get you advanced up the Meritocracy."

_They consider that 'wild'? Man, they should have seen my squad going through Basic._

Vakarion, on the other hand, sounded faintly worshipful as he intoned "Primarch Victus. _That_ should be something to see."

Shepard - likely because she'd been sold a bill of goods many times over - remained dubious. "You think he can get the job done?"

Garrus was adamant. His voice got louder. "We both know _conventional_ strategy won't beat the Reapers. Right now he could be our best shot... and I trust him."

_OK. We'll take it._

Almost as if she'd heard his thoughts, Eliza said "OK, let's get him on the shuttle and get out of here."

And then...

"Commander!" Joker's voice broke in over Shepard's omni-tool, sounding absolutely panic-stricken. "Shepard, **come in**!"

"Can this wait, Joker? We're in the middle of a war zone." 

They all exited Corinthus' pavilion, and James walked a couple meters further, scanning the terrain as he listened. He wasn't ready to claim he knew the sarcastic pilot _well_ , but the man had been entrusted with command for a _reason_ ; Vega would bet a few hundred credits this wasn't a social call, so it didn't surprise him when Joker continued: "We've got a situation on the _Normandy_ , Commander. It's like she's possessed: shutting down systems, powering up weapons - I can't find the source."

Eliza wore the face of a woman who was nearing the end of her rope. "I need the _Normandy_ standing by. We may have to bug out."

James blanched. _Don't look at me, Lola. I used up ALL of my technical karma on that huge bomb a few months back._

Liara barely glanced his way, as if she was thinking the same thing and had already dismissed him. "Should I go back and take a look?"

"Do it." Shepard turned to look at her Turian friend. "Garrus, you said you were with Victus this morning?"

Vakarion straightened. James was almost positive he knew what she was thinking, wondered if Garrus had realized it, too. _We're headed cross-country. Lock and load._

"Yeah, but we got separated. He went to bolster a flank that was breaking. Could be _anywhere_ out there."

James snorted quietly under his breath. _Nice try, Garrus, but it's not going to dissuade her._

Corinthus also put in an oar to try to stop this plan. "We're trying to raise him, Commander."

What _actually_ stopped Eliza from suggesting they go on foot to find the Primarch was a dull metal-grinding buzz, a black skeletal silhouette topping the ridge behind the camp. Vega **knew** that buzz, that silhouette. Even as it cleared the hill, he pulled his rifle and yelled "INCOMING HARVESTER! HEADED FOR THE AIRFIELD."

\--

Garrus joined them, and they all ran for the landing zone. They were almost to the gate when he heard Shepard snicker "James, that you breathing so hard?"

 _Smart-ass._ "Atmosphere's a little thinner than I'm used to is all. Adrenaline's better than oxygen any day." Under her helmet, he couldn't tell if she'd smiled or not.

Vega recognized there was something different about the Reaper troops the Harvesters had dropped at the airfield almost immediately. In case Eliza hadn't noticed, he called out "Just me, or do those Reapers look like Turians?"

"You're right, they do."

James did the math and blanched. _Did they begin harvesting Palaven **before** Earth, or can they turn out new Reaper troop types in LESS than twenty hours? Did they hit some Turian colonies?_

He watched as Shepard began draining them, gratified that they appeared to be as susceptible to her Reave as the Husks. They were tough, though, far hardier than the human-Reaper hybrids. He realized he was becoming dependent on seeing Eliza glowing; that he felt reassured _knowing_ that she was wreathed in extra shielding their life-force had gifted her. He kept firing, even left the barricade to mop up the last of the husks, burning them with incendiary ammo while they stumbled about. Yet, in the back of his mind, one word played on loop:

_Elysium. Elysium. Elysium._

Shepard was draining the last two of the Turian-Reaper hybrids. He put bullets in them, just to be sure, then told her "I think we're done here." 

Over their omni-tools, the concerned voice of General Corinthus broke up the careful joy of surviving one more skirmish. "Shepard, come in!"

"GO AHEAD."

"Still trying to raise the Primarch. But we've got trouble back here at the main barricade. If the Reapers breach it, we're _done_."

Vega sighed as Eliza ran off, leaving them in the dust. _Of course._ He glanced at Garrus and saw an expression that _might_ have been a smile crease the Turian's scarred face.

He gestured with his gun and shrugged, then took off running after her. By the time he and Vakarion climbed the palisade, she'd already mounted the turret gun and was blasting away at the invading husks.

It was a free-for-all, and James loved it. He thought he heard himself yell something vaguely like "WAH-HOO!" Maybe it was some other crazy Marine. Yet, being able to let loose - realizing the Turians in the camp _needed_ him to let loose - was completely exhilarating.

He heard Garrus, standing a couple meters away, yell out "OK, WHO'S NEXT!" He, too, was firing nearly non-stop. There was a moment when two Husks got past Eliza and descended on Vakarion; James was about to pick them off when Shepard turned the big gun and blew them away.

 _Damn good thing she missed him._ " **Yeeeaaahhh!** Like fish in a barrel!"

The Turian turned to him, puzzled, working on re-loading clips. "What?"

He tried again. "Old human saying. Like fish. In. A. Barrel."

Before he could even finish, Garrus had yelled "Head's up! It's another wave!"

Shepard kept shooting from the turret, and Vega wasn't surprised when she prioritized the stream of Husks on her right flank, the ones heading toward Vakarion. Without hubris, he knew that - of the two of them - he was by far the better melee fighter, and he took down the ones that successfully climbed the cliff. They definitely seemed to be gaining ground against the Reaper troops, when the Harvesters dropped off something... new. It was shed-sized, rising up on its two back legs to pound its chest like a Terran gorilla.

"HOLY HELL!" Vega stopped firing for a few seconds to watch the thing move, try to anticipate how it could be injured. "What IS that thing?!"

A few seconds was all it seemed to take.

The huge Reaper _charged_ the barricade, and the force of its impact knocked Eliza off the gun. Into the melee. The creature paused to beat its chest again... and James immediately jumped down after Shepard, heart caught somewhere in his throat.

_Por favor Dios, protégela._

The Commander wasn't dumb. She scuttled into cover, and was surveying the Reaper even as he had, letting Vega use fire to anger it into charging _him_. She knew he could shrug off a _lot_ more damage that she could, and he'd already seen how well Reave worked at long-range.

But the damn thing DID pack a wallop. James kept firing until it nearly fell over on top of him, writhing as Eliza wrested the last of its life force from its body. His eyes raked the battlefield and he saw her, glowing with purple light, grappling with a husk. She threw the rotting thing to the ground and stomped on its head. James and Garrus closed with her, and they all surveyed the carnage for a brief second... before the General's voice again sounded through her omni-tool.

"Shepard, Corinthus here."

_Which section of his compound does he need us to secure THIS time?_

Eliza was more charitable. "What's the word on the Primarch?"

"Still can't get a stable com-link."

James knew what that meant even before she said it. "OK, I'm going on foot. Garrus, take me to the last place you saw Victus." She started running away from Vega, following her Turian ex-shipmate.

 _Annnnddddd, here we go._ Vega concentrated on modulating his breathing as he jogged off after them.

\--

It was a blessing that the only thing Vega had to regret from his cross-country run on the moon of Menae was the fact that he had stupidly mentioned New York City being taken over by husks. He'd wanted to bite off his tongue after he said it, envisioning Eliza's face. But they made it to the next compound with no physical injuries.

James felt it was almost _inevitable_ that the Primarch would be under siege.

\--

Vega watched as Shepard followed the same general strategy she'd always employed and drained three more of the huge charging Reaper beasts at long-range. They also killed maybe a dozen of the Turian-looking creatures (which the troops in the Primarch's camp were calling 'Marauders') and several of the motley balls of walking flesh that someone on radio chatter had nick-named 'Cannibals'... for their penchant of eating the flesh of the dead and then evolving right before the eyes of their enemies. As much as James hated Husks, he hated Cannibals more. Yet - now that he'd watched the Marauders doing... _something_ to the Husks and Cannibals that seemed to make them stronger - he intended to suggest that Marauders become the primary target when various types were attacking in tandem.

Of course, now that he'd been charged by a couple of them, he added the huge gorilla-like beasts to his "Things I Enjoy Least About the Reaper Invasion" list; someone in the camp had congratulated him for not dying when the 'Brute' hit him; James figured, well, that was as good a name for them as any.

He mentally catalogued all of it to add to his force report once they returned to the _Normandy_. Which... would be soon, since it appeared that Victus had been swayed by Shepard, and would be joining them.

\--

James again dumped their gear and headed straight into a shower. Given they'd brought a high-ranking Palaven official back _with_ them, he _almost_ slid into his dress blues afterwards, but decided he _really_ didn't want to get them filthy while he cleaned and repaired their armor.

_Need to start checking in with Lola after away missions, figure out what order of operations should become SOP._

He was scrubbing something utterly disgusting off Garrus' breastplate - probably bits of Husk from the barricade encounter - when Shepard finally contacted him.

**_SHEP: i just ran into Adams, with a fire extinguisher, in the AI server room_ **

_Uhhh - THAT'S not good._

**VEGA: what the hell happened?**  
**_SHEP: just a little refurbishment of our entire computer system that seems to have resolved in our favor... thank God_ **  
**VEGA: the HELL?**

His omni-tool buzzed, twice, and he remembered he'd disabled AV-chat while he was showering and never re-enabled it. He hit the button.

"I'll explain everything later. My point is... Adams is still..." She hesitated, and her face on the holo was crinkled with thought. James could almost hear her trying to decide how to describe the mental state of her highest-ranking crew member, "-a little freaked out by everything that happened overnight. Apparently EDI - in addition to rebooting _every_ system on the ship - has been messaging him meditation exercises and eating tips every ten minutes... for the last three hours."

James tried very hard not to laugh. He even bit into his lip. But a snort-chuckle escaped anyway.

"It's not funny, Lieutenant. If she wasn't an AI who just imperiled the _entire ship_ to gain herself a mobile platform, I'd almost say she was paranoid about Adams' 'functionality.' We need to stop on the Citadel and grab Ken and Gabby, if you're right about them being there."

"Agreed. I think EDI and I figured out a way to confirm their location as soon as _Normandy_ docks, and I'll let you know. I'll go too, in case my opinion as your XO is useful, but I think the initial request will be more successful coming from someone they recognize."

"Go talk to Victus about it, will you? I checked on him after I briefed Hackett, but I didn't happen to mention we were probably going to take time to stop and smell the flowers on the Citadel rather than go right to the summit. You speak 'Soldier' well; explain to him that we _need_ more Engineering crew. Wait-"

Shepard dropped her arm, and suddenly James was staring at her thigh, through the holo. _Did she just tell me to wait... over video-chat?_ He hit the button that closed the connection and kept working, being extra-careful not to get his own uniform completely covered in the gunk he was stripping off Garrus' armor. Finally, she called him back.

"OK, I don't _fucking_ believe this, but we also have to go to Grissom Academy."

Vega softly banged his omni-tool on the bench. "I didn't hear that right... did I? _Grissom?_ The school for biotic kids?"

He distinctly heard a loud sigh come through the speaker. "Yes, you heard right. Traynor thinks she's intercepted a Cerberus signal originating from there, and - given what she told me - I have absolutely no doubt she's right. We need to rescue those kids."

_Ah. Yeah, we do._

"I'll add that to the list of things the Primarch should be made aware of. You can trust me; I'll ease into it."

\--

James had actually already entered the CIC, and was _greeting_ Primarch Victus, when his omni-tool chimed with Shepard's alert. **Again.**

"Excuse me, Primarch. I need to read this. I apologize."

The Turian nodded. "By all means."

**_SHEP: i thought it over, and we really can't abandon those N7 forces in Brazil. so we're going to Earth first, THEN Grissom, THEN the Citadel, THEN Sur'Kesh. Tell him._ **

_Oh... **great**. OK... how to make THIS one amusing? To a Turian?_

James gritted his teeth and raised his gaze until his eyes met the Primarch's.

Victus made a noise that Vega's omni-tool translated as a cough. "That bad, Lieutenant?"

Slowly, he explained. Slowly, Victus understood.

The Primarch uttered something that glitched Vega's translation program; James fancied it was more than likely a colorful Turian curse. "Let me see if I understand you correctly, Lieutenant. I'm on a ship that possesses a warp core so powerful - yet so unstable - that it could vent under Reaper fire if it doesn't have a full Engineering staff to keep it balanced. True or false?"

Vega controlled his expression with effort. "That's... not an unfair assessment, Primarch."

"While said ship currently has only one competent engineer, there is a plan in place to recruit more. _Yet_ this ship will first _return to Reaper-controlled space_ to rescue an elite force of Terran soldiers?"

James stiffened. "N7 is the Commander's designation, Primarch. This diversion is the equivalent of rescuing a dozen Shepards. So yes, we're going."

The Turian tilted his head. "Afterwards, we will jump two more systems to fight a _human terrorist organization_ for guardianship of a group of biotic children?"

For a second time, James managed to not wince. "That's... yes, Primarch Victus. Again, you've seen Shepard in battle. Those kids are... well, they're _kids_ , but they're also unique resources." Vega finally let himself flinch, just a bit. "Just, please don't tell the Commander I put it that way. She'd beat the shit out of me."

James only realized what he'd said, and that the Primarch's translator had corrected translated it, when the leader of Palaven began to make a noise that Vega's omni-tool insisted was _raucous laughter_.

"I understand, Lieutenant." The Turian sobered. "I imagine her anger is... impressive."

James remembered the all-too solid wall of the Null Room. A shredded bedroom in their apartment building. A backpack full of ANFO, blasting away a section of sky over Trilliam Park. Dozens of Cerberus soldiers wasting away to shriveled corpses on Mars.

"Primarch Victus... you have _no_ idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) the video: there's not a ton of trimming in this video. bits and bobs, here and there, like taking out the two seconds of James running down the side of the rampart, after the Brute attacks (because _this_ Vega would obviously jump in after Shepard). stuff like that. there's a bit of footage of messages the Expanded Galaxy mod has added to the narrative.
> 
> (2) timeline (all times MST ~ Military Standard)
> 
> ~ 01:30 Shepard back to sleep/injury  
> ~ 02:00 Normandy at/through Sigurd's Cradle Relay  
> ~ 02:45 Normandy hits Hades Nexus  
> ~ 03:00 Normandy is in FTL to Hoplos. Shepard awake, orders James to catch sleep, checks in with Allers and asks about her assignment, warns her that they'll be at Trident in less than a half hr. checks in on Javik, finds out he's still cryo-sick.  
> ~ 04:00 done at Trident/on their way to Palaven. Shepard tries to gently break it to Adams that he has the highest next rank after her, and she's leaving him in command while James goes down to Palaven to fight. this does not go well.  
> ~ 04:40 FTL back Hades Nexus Relay; at some point, Joker is informed that he will be in command during the mission on Palaven; this goes better, but still not well.  
> ~ 05:15 relay through Caleston Rift and Omega  
> ~ 05:30 Eagle, into Serpent/Widow. James has told EDI to make sure he's awake when they hit Widow.  
> ~ 06:00 Apien Crest (some traffic delay with Reaper warnings, but minimal) Shepard considers stopping but after the prior diversion decides not to). they get notification that they will actually want to land on Menae. James manages a couple hours of sleep, is woken by EDI.  
> ~ 06:30 they have found the new Primarch and bugged out  
> ~ 07:00 Shepard has tossed off her gear, taken a call from the Asari Counciller and briefed Hackett. she also talks briefly with Victus. she deals with EDI, checks messages, and finds out about Grissom.
> 
> (3) lastly, i intentionally left a Spanish phrase in this (last, for awhile) James POV chapter to give y'all homework. if you care, https://www.spanishdict.com/ has been one of my lifelines while writing this piece, AND you'll get a nice little bit of plot that no one else has. :D


	7. Through a Glass, Darkly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life is for each man a solitary cell whose walls are mirrors."  
> ~ Eugene O'Neill
> 
> Some glass breaks at Grissom. Some doesn't.
> 
> warning: may or may not contain emotional blackmail with no inner monologue to explain/excuse it.

Shepard desperately wanted another shower after Menae. It wasn't merely the fact that she felt grimy from the sweat and dust; it was several different varieties of stress beating on various parts of her mind and body... and no where to let _any_ of it _out_. She also greatly desired to march down to the Shuttle Bay and scream at her Executive Officer for running straight at huge Reaper beasts, and generally being all heroic and shit.

_But that's wrong. He's magnificent; a truly accomplished fighter. Those are the sort of actions that I should be **praising**._

_Except he's going to get himself KILLED_ , the Other Part of her protested.

That was the moment where Eliza realized she might actually be in trouble. This might be more than just stress. _I'm not just talking to myself anymore; I'm **arguing** with myself._

She paused in the hallway just outside the Bridge. If this was the new Reality - if she truly was going to stand around and argue with herself - she couldn't let it happen in front of the AI who'd just rebooted every electrical system on the ship, and the pilot who maybe wanted to smack her around a little for having left him in command. Twice.

She tried to ignore the Marine standing at attention by the airlock as she enumerated her various failings during the past twenty-four hours alone. _You **lied** to Liara - the one person in the galaxy you could count on to help you put yourself back together in so short a time - about your dream. You **lied** to James about not wanting to have sex with him... when you desperately still want to **despite** knowing he's not actually in love with you. You **lied** to Kaidan on Mars regarding how 'done' you are. Face it: YOU'RE A MESS._

Shepard thought about Mars some more. Eden Prime. Sanctum. Menae. _At least you still know how to fight._

She felt her face twist, realized she was smiling, wondered how awful it must look because, well, she was feeling pretty grim. She got her answer when the soldier at the airlock allowed his feet to shuffle toward the exterior door, ever so slightly. She turned her head and fixed her eyes on him and realized, when he visibly swallowed, that he was... afraid.

Of **her**.

Shepard also noted that she was - ever so slightly - **glowing**. She winced. _Monster. You're a **monster**._

"At ease, Sergent." Ten seconds of relaxation exercises successfully snuffed the blue aura, and she continued onto the Bridge.

\--

Eliza had every intention of asking her essential question first. But she found herself employing Vega's tactics, trying to approach Joker in such a way as to leave space for him to be _honest_ with her. Shepard was starting to appreciate how precious trust was. How easily broken.

Jeff made it easy: "Hey, Commander - check out my _co-pilot_!"

"So she installed herself into the new body without _any_ help from you?" _Tell me the truth, Joker. This is your only chance._

"C'mon, Commander, don't you trust me?"

Shepard crossed her arms, glancing toward EDI in a clearly questioning manner. _That's precisely what **I'm** wondering... **do** I trust you?_

"OK, let me put it this way: if I knew that EDI was going to install herself into a sexy robot body, do you honestly think I'd be able to keep _quiet_ about it? _Look_ at that-" he gestured toward the other leather flight chair- "I would have baked a _cake_."

The synthetic body of Dr. Eva Core' twitched slightly, as the AI inside reacted to Jeff's possessive manner of speech. Shepard utterly concurred with EDI's use of side-eye when the AI interjected, "I am right _here_ , Jeff."

Joker missed her point entirely. " _Yes_ , you _are_ , EDI. Yes, you are."

Behind them, Eliza shook her head in minor disgust. She sighed - apparently louder than she'd intended - because the pilot realized she was still standing there, and said "Hey, I know I used to rag on Garrus for being all angry, but I'm _glad_ he's back. There's a whole lotta crap out there that needs a bullet between the eyes." Jeff couldn't just leave it at appreciation, however; he had to add snark. " _Plus_ , we might need something _calibrated._ "

Shepard clenched her jaw at his sarcasm, remembering how the Turian had _taken_ a few bullets on Menae, not to mention having been bitten and clawed by Reapers on several occasions.

Having recalled that she really ought to check on Garrus _before_ she initiated a knock-down, drag-out fight with her executive officer about _who_ was going to Grissom, Eliza stepped forward to say good-bye... and EDI stood up.

_Odd to think... **EDI** is... **standing**. Looks like she got the hang of it pretty fast, though._

"How are you adjusting to the arms and legs?"

EDI characteristically got right to the point. "I am interested to see how this body performs under real combat conditions...if I could accompany you sometime. Without stress-testing, there is no way of knowing if it has serious design oversights. At the moment, it appears..." She paused for a second before settling on "adequate."

Joker obviously held a slightly different opinion, which he reiterated reverently: "That's not the word _I'd_ use to describe you."

Shepard rolled her eyes so hard she started to worry she was courting another migraine.

EDI's head turned; she seemed to be using the body in the same way a human would, employing visual input to take the pilot's measure, in addition to processing the words he'd spoken. Eliza observed this with a disconcerting sense of déjà vu. She'd seen Legion move his platform in similar ways. _Has EDI already written herself an "Act Like a Human" subroutine for the synth form? Did it **come** with programming that she co-opted?_

"Perhaps we should speak privately."

 _OK, this just got... weird. Right? The ship just asked me if I would be willing to speak privately with it._ Still, Shepard turned and walked out into the CIC, and knew from the metal-on-metal footsteps that EDI had followed her.

Behind them, Joker plaintively stated "I'll be over here. Flyin' the ship."

\--

The Commander rather thought - all things considered - she was handling the continued sentient evolution of the _Normandy_ 's AI rather well. Hopefully. 

Maybe.

 _Then again, what the hell else can we do? I'm certainly not going to try to re-enslave her. That's Cerberus' MO; **not** mine. She'll figure it out - or not - and we'll deal with it when we get there._ Eliza winced. _Just, please God... **no** more unexpected ship-wide reboots._

They spent the next half an hour in harried jumps around Sol, managing to locate and pick up the N7 operatives approximately where Command had insisted they were holed up. Even after EDI blared a warning that their scan had given away the _Normandy_ 's position, they provided enough of a diversion to allow Deimos' defense flotilla to escape. Trailing a half-dozen Reapers in dogged pursuit, the _Normandy_ also managed to escape Sol, only to re-enter the system nearly _on top_ of the Charon Relay. It was a close thing, but they triggered the Relay before they were boxed in. Shepard wondered what destination EDI and Joker had chosen that dissuaded pursuit through the wormhole, but it was enough to know they _were_ fast enough to evade the Reapers. 

Barely.

_Exciting morning._

\--

The moment the Battery door slid open, and she realized Garrus was already tinkering on the Thanix Cannon - while carrying on an upsetting conversation with Primarch Victus - Shepard figured the Turian had healed up. She lingered by his workstations, listening, absorbing...

Trying not to cry.

"-you can trust Shepard, Sir. If anybody can get the Krogan to cooperate, it's her. She's an old friend of Urdnot Wrex."

Eliza bit her lip, remembering the roof, and how important that one afternoon of escapism had ending up being for her relative sanity. _Old friends is right, but don't over-sell me, Garrus; you really will make me start sobbing._

Vakarion seemed to have finished speaking to the Primarch, yet Eliza still felt like she was interrupting. "Garrus - didn't waste any time getting to work, I see."

"After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation. Gives me something to focus on."

"We're gonna need you for more than your aim." Shepard leaned against the cannon, regarding her Turian Gunnery Chief with relief. _He looks fine. Must have stopped for stims._

"Oh, I'm ready for it. But I'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns, and lots of them. Sovereign didn't go down without a fight. I doubt a _thousand_ more of his friends will be any different."

Eliza sighed. "We both knew this fight would be tough. Damned if the Reapers haven't delivered."

"At least my government listened to me... or pretended to. They finally gave me a task force as a token to shut me up."

"So, you're their expert advisor now?"

"Just followed your example, Shepard: yell loud enough and someone will eventually come over to see what all the fuss is about. Not that they'll actually _do_ anything about it."

This sounded so familiar that Eliza realized she _had_ to laugh it off. It hurt too much. "Un-til **Hell** shows up at their door. _Then_ they put you in charge."

As he walked back to his desk, Garrus made a sound that Shepard's omni-tool insisted was a chuckle. "Not like the old days, is it? Rogue Spectre and C-Sec agents, running and gunning outside the lines, making it up as we went along." He paused, turned to face her. "We're actually respectable now."

Eliza snorted. " _Yuh_. I have a feeling that respect comes with a lot of sleepless nights." _Probably should have said 'a lot **more** sleepless nights', but definitely don't want to risk that getting back to James._ "I can't even count how many lives are depending on us, Garrus."

Vakarion nodded slightly, acceding her point, but then he came a bit closer, meeting her eyes. "Well, when things are looking grim - and I'm pretty sure they will - just remember: a certain Turian friend of yours isn't sleeping any better, and he'd be _more_ than happy to meet you at the bar and _drink_ you under the table."

Shepard snorted quietly. _Big talk, Garrus. You know it wouldn't take much._

They caught up on the last few months, and Eliza was impressed that Garrus had decided to appeal to his father, given their history.

_Then again, I basically did the same thing. Just hope **my** unofficial task force is a WEE bit bigger._

Shepard wondered if this Turian effort was the payoff of the emails they'd exchanged as she traveled between North America's military installations. It sounded to her as if Garrus had ordered many of the same things Eliza and the various gangs (if not the Alliance ground forces) had agreed on: supply depots, weapons caches, hardened lines of communication, more intel. Of course, he hadn't mentioned having pursued _her_ ace in the hole... and she would never mention what she'd done to _anyone_ unless and until there was an official inquiry.

But - thanks to Shepard and Osorio - there were an awful lot of rogue explosives floating around the large metropolitan cities of Earth, in the hands of people who knew how - and when - to deploy them.

When she asked about Victus, Garrus opined that it didn't matter whether or not they liked or trusted the Primarch. He insisted you 'went to war with the partner you had', which sounded uncannily to Shepard like the old Earth saying 'dance with the one that brung ya' - though she doubted Vakarion knew the idiom. Eliza, in turn, teased him about his position in the succession. She strove to make sure her question sounded like a jest... not anything like her back-up plan. _Let's not borrow trouble._

He ducked it, keeping the joke going, and Eliza sighed internally. _But seriously, other than not having him fighting with us, how much easier would this be if he **were** the Primarch?_

She appreciated his strident assertion that belief in the Reapers would _finally_ become a powerful motivating force. "For the first time since we met, we're not alone in the fight. It's something I learned long ago in C-Sec: a imminent and painful death has a way of motivating people. Instead of questioning your every word, whole civilizations are going to be _begging_ you to save them."

"After what's happened to Palaven, you still believe that?"

"I didn't say there wouldn't be casualties. It's something Turians are taught from birth. If just one survivor is left standing at the end of a war, then the fight was _worth it_. But humans want to save everyone. In this war, that's not going to happen."

Shepard remembered trailing Anderson through the rubble of Headquarters. _'It's hard enough fighting a war, but it's worse knowing no matter how hard you try... you can't save them all.'_

Of course, that had been before she saw Palaven.

"There will be casualties, yes. But I'd like to... keep them to a minimum. If I can." Eliza sighed. "Especially on the Normandy." The second sentence reluctantly tripped out of her mouth.

Garrus had refocused on his workstation, but he looked up when she said that. His mandible gaped slightly.

"I wouldn't worry too much about the babysitter, Shepard." Vakarion leaned sideways, hip resting on the desk. "Granted we've only been on one mission together, but he seems competent and well-armed enough to have an excellent chance of surviving this war."

Eliza tried to lock down her reaction, feared she'd failed miserably. "Why do you assume I meant James? There are a lot of people on this ship I couldn't bear to lose."

"True. And it would break _us_ to lose _you_ \- a bunch of us have _already_ been through it." Vakarion eyed her steadily. "Still..." he shifted again, "the Lieutenant means something to you."

Shepard clenched her jaw. "Not the way you're thinking. I won't make the same mistake twice."

Her omni-tool translated the Turian's harsh laugh. "Shepard, no one plans to develop feelings and you can't just _wish_ them away. The only thing you can control are your _actions_." He carefully laid the talons of one hand on her shoulder, then pulled away.

She sighed. "Yeah." Eliza shook herself. "Look, I came down here to make sure you were ready for another mission; I wanted to be sure you were healed up-"

"One hundred percent, Shepard. Chakwas will vouch for me. I'm not one of you crazy humans who gets gnawed on by Reapers and then acts like nothing happened."

"Excuse me," Eliza faked affront, "I barely got _touched_."

"You got jumped at _least_ once; I _saw_ it."

She stuck her tongue out at him, then decided to make it a grand gesture by blowing a loud raspberry.

" _There's_ a charming human custom." Garrus laughed again. "If that was the point of the visit, consider me absolutely ready for work. And I should get back to servicing the cannon; more than likely someone screwed up _something_ down here."

"I'm delaying the inevitable. I have to try - _again_ \- to explain to..." she paused, then deliberately chose the same word "-the _babysitter_ , that as my _Executive Officer_ , he's supposed to _stay behind_ when I go on away missions."

What her translator had identified as a laugh before was nothing compared to the noise that came out of Garrus now.

"Good luck, Shepard." She'd pivoted and started to walk out the open door before he sardonically added, "You're gonna need it."

\--

 _Thanks so much for the reassurance, Garrus._ She slowly strolled up to the Armory workbench, trying to decide how this conversation needed to begin.

James must have seen her out of the corner of his eye. "That Primarch's got some real _cojones_. What we need are more politicians like him. Taking names and kicking ass."

Shepard arched a brow. "Good to hear your meeting with Victus went _well_." Her tone became even drier. "He wasn't concerned about our little side-trip to Earth, then?"

James glanced up. "I think the up-close-and-personal with the Reaper pursuit concerned him a bit. Concerned _me_ a bit too, actually." He arched an eyebrow. "Especially since you explicitly told **me** NOT to do that sort of thing. But I'm glad we pulled those guys out of Brazil. They would have been toast without us." Vega straightened up, closing one the documents he'd been reading. "Hope I didn't over-step, but they were so banged up, I sent them all to Chakwas. Told the two in reasonably good shape to pull chow for everyone, let them know we'd be at the Citadel soon enough, and that I was sure you'd be in touch with Hackett by then."

Shepard found herself remembering the service record she'd finally perused early that morning:

_**Lieutenant Vega takes initiative; often fixes things almost before they can break. Has to be reined in on occasion but overall solid judgment in military matters.** _

"I imagine they're all going to end up commanding parts of the fleet. Thanks." She met his eyes. "And no, you didn't over-step." 

_It's coming, though. I can FEEL it._

James looked back at his station, sorting through more electronic documents. "The Primarch _is_ clearly fascinated by the Normandy's speed... and stealth capacity. I think he understood that you wouldn't have risked your life to pull him off Menae just to get him blown up or harvested on Earth." Vega paused, and his face took on a considering look. "After Joker pulled us back into Sol only a few ticks from the Relay so we could escape the system, Victus expressed an interest in meeting our pilot, which... I thought would be a good idea." James paused _again_ ; it was obvious to Shepard that he had something to add, but was concerned about it.

Eliza sighed. "What? Out with it."

James bit his lip. "He's... exceptionally quick. Pretty sure he's already caught on that EDI is... _special_. Not that she's not even _trying_ to hide it anymore. He'd like to, um, 'officially' meet her, too."

Shepard blinked. "I see." She snorted quietly. _As Joker would say: what the SHIT._ "Well... given that EDI has a brand-new body she's downright _eager_ to take into combat, meeting the Turian Primarch should be a piece of cake." _Here we go._ "Speaking of 'combat'... I decided who's going down to Grissom with me." She inhaled a long breath and braced, preparing for the fight.

"I already have your gear ready." James speared her with a glance. "And mine. Who else is going?"

Eliza gritted her teeth. "Glad your gear is in such great shape. But _you're_ not going."

"Yes... I _am_."

Shepard blinked. "You remember what an _order_ is, right? That you're the _Executive Officer_? That we _had_ this conversation already? You realize that Garrus is _just_ as good of a shot as you are?" She deliberately arched her brow. "Frankly, he's _better_."

"So Garrus goes with us. That's cool. He seems like a good guy." James paused, then couldn't help himself. "You two seem... close."

Eliza rolled her eyes. Her head twinged again. "Glad you approve. It will be me, him, and Javik."

Vega turned fully around and faced her square-on. Stared at her face. "Shepard, *I* told Anderson and Hackett the cameras had to be turned off. *I* smuggled in water so that you could wash, even after you explained it was contraband... and why. *I* told them where to stick their gun requirement - even though I was reprimanded for going into your cell unarmed - because I _knew_ you'd never trust me if I didn't. And I _trusted you_ not to hurt me. I still do."

That word - _trust_ \- hit Shepard hard. As it always did.

"You read me porn." Even to her own ears, this sounded absolutely ridiculous. It was also the _least_ of his offenses, when you got right down to it.

"You think the Alliance ever cared about the porn?" Vega basically laughed in her face. "No. After it became clear you _weren't_ going to incapacitate me and use me as a hostage, the only thing they cared about was that I wouldn't actively help you escape, which _to them_ meant giving you my omni-tool." James paused, and then shrugged, "I admit, though, I contemplated helping you escape, too." Eliza realized she'd jerked in surprise when James shrugged. "What can I say? It was fucking horrible in there, and even I started to lose faith at one point. In any event, _Anderson_ was the one who _ordered_ me to keep you from climbing the walls, and he said he wasn't choosy how I did it." James clenched his jaw. "I wondered - maybe that was why he had such an over-the-top reaction to the monitor being off all night." He sighed and shook his head. "Whatever. *I* knew the theme of that novel wouldn't be lost on Hackett. _He_ was the one who needed to hear that I trusted you, that as far as I was concerned you could do just about anything to me, and I'd be fine with it." The earnestness on the Lieutenant's face was undeniable.

_Damn reckless jackass pinche pendejo._

To anyone else, it might have seemed as if Vega was pleading, but Shepard suddenly understood that she would have to literally _Throw_ him off the shuttle to keep him on the _Normandy_ while she went into a fight. She wondered if their friendship would recover from her doing that. It might.

_It might not._

She watched her XO set his jaw again. "Take me with you, Lola. Yeah, Anderson thought I was Executive Officer material. And maybe I am, but I _know_ I'm a damn good fighter."

 _Is this... an overblown sense of protectiveness?_ "In case it managed to escape your notice, Vega, I'm sort of a decent fighter myself-"

James, wearing an annoyingly _satisfied_ expression, interrupted her. " **Exactly**. So, _why_ shouldn't the two best fighters go on the away missions?" Shepard made an exasperated noise. James was watching her face, and he added "I didn't save your life for you to buy it on some planet because I didn't have your back."

_He feels... responsible?_

" **Fine**." It was loud, sharp, and grudging. "I'll leave Joker in charge again." She sighed loudly. "I hear third time's the charm."

\--

"Everything OK with the shuttle?" Once more Shepard found herself struggling to find an introductory point to a conversation that would to steer her to the desired destination. _How does Vega seem to do this so effortlessly?_

"Just double-checking the inertia dampener coils. They can be twitchy in these UT-47s. But don't worry: this bird's been rock-solid." 

_I wasn't worried, but I suppose that's as good an opening as I'm likely to get._ "I always see you down here working your ass off. Ever take any down time?"

"I get my sleep, Commander. Flying tired is nearly worse than flying drunk."

"What about your waking hours? Any R&R?" _Dammit, Steve - James is one of the most astute judges of character I've ever met. If he's worried about you, there's a reason._

"I need to keep myself busy. Otherwise, well... too much time to think."

"I appreciate your dedication, but I don't want to see you burn out." _And we're still dancing around the problem, I see._

"I know my limits. I wouldn't take a chance with your life."

 _Only **my** life? Jesus, how to break **through** this?_ "So, before this war you must have done _something_ to relax..."

She watched as Cortez _stared_ at the shuttle, as if he was praying that the Kodiak would spontaneously catch on fire so he'd have an excuse to get out of this. Finally, he turned to look at her.

"Sure. I remember back when the Hawking was based out of Arcturus, and I was just a fighter jock. There was this observation deck overlooking the main flight paths. You could watch every ship taxi in and out. When I was alone, I'd... turn off the auditory emulators and just... watch them drift by, in silence."

Shepard crossed her arms. _I can work with that._ "You know there are views like that on the Citadel."

Cortez shrugged. "I suppose."

Shepard arched a brow. "We're heading there soon."

Steve nodded, "I'd heard that was the plan."

"So consider taking a bit of time off-ship. Please?" She stepped a bit closer to the pilot and lowered her voice. "I _need_ you to keep your head on straight, Lieutenant. If there isn't anyone else around to _puncture_ Lieutenant Vega, there's a better-than-average chance I could end up strangling him and hiding his body in the warp core."

Cortez actually cracked a smile, then quickly snuffed it. "I know he can be... irreverent, opinionated, loud, and _difficult_ , Commander-" across the bay, a deep voice made a loud "HRMPH" noise, and the pilot grinned again despite himself, "- but that's part of his charm."

"He's a huge pain in my ass, Steve." This was said utterly deadpan.

That did it. Cortez finally _laughed_ , and Eliza congratulated herself for hanging in there until it happened.

"I'm not going to argue with my Commander, Ma'am." Another loud "HRMPH!" echoed through the large open space. 

"So join us on the Citadel for a while. Don't worry about the Normandy; shifts will be staggered so there's always an officer on board." She turned and started to walk out, but then remembered and swung back around. "We should be hitting Petra any minute, so figure a half hour or less to shuttle launch."

"We'll be ready, Commander."

\--

As Eliza left the Bridge, she reminded herself that she should be happy Joker was enamored of the fancy flying and intricate maneuvering that thwarting Cerberus entailed. She couldn't allow herself to dwell on how unsettled his glee at such shenanigans occasionally made her.

_Flying is his life. And seizing opportunities to cause Cerberus regret over their terrible choices is fast becoming a part of ALL our lives. One "Oh, boy, CAN I!" doesn't mean he's as reckless as your Executive Officer._

She had EDI alert Garrus, jumped into the elevator, and went down to Desk Five.

Vega - as was customary - was already armored and armed, and passed her personal gear directly to her before she had to ask. If it wasn't so... _proficient_ , his behavior would be incredibly _irritating._

_Just get ready. Stop being annoyed that your crew is efficient._

_You're not annoyed that he's efficient_ , the Other Part of her brain insisted, _you're annoyed because he WON._

Shepard gritted her teeth. _He won THIS time._

\--

Cortez launched them mere _seconds_ before the _Normandy_ banked precipitously, flying directly across the axis of the blockade. Looking at the viewscreen - while hanging upright off a jump strap in the quiet, drifting shuttle - Shepard winced.

"He's, uh, enthusiastic," Vega murmured.

Garrus, looking out the port window, chuckled. "I wonder if the dampeners on the ship managed to catch that up, or if people on every deck fell over." He smirked. "I wonder if _Victus_ fell over."

Shepard flinched. "I really _hope_ that didn't happen."

Up in the cockpit, Cortez had started to chuckle, but he stopped abruptly as _every_ Cerberus fighter pilot responded to Joker's flight path as if it were a personal attack. To a one, they haired off after him. The away team held their breath until the slower Cruiser ALSO powered up and disappeared into FTL. Shepard knew in her gut and brain that her ship was in more-than-capable hands, and she further knew that Jeff could (and would) settle the _Normandy_ into stealth mode when the time was right, easily evading pursuit. Yet her heart still contracted at the danger the bigger Cerberus ship represented.

"Let's just hope Joker takes the Cruiser seriously. Lieutenant Cortez, the auxiliary cargo port, if you please. Quietly."

"Yes, Ma'am." She could hear the grin in his voice as he engaged stealth mode and sneaked them into Grissom Academy.

\--

Kahlee Sanders was no fool. The cargo hold she'd chosen to open was quite close to her current location; they encountered few troops before she risked contacting them, steering them into the corridor outside her office. Even there, there were only a few soldiers trying to break into her hideout, and the director herself managed to take down one of them.

"Sanders, we're clear. It's me." The door opened, but the blond woman inside broke cover with a huge assault rifle clutched in her hands. Eliza was impressed.

"Commander, thank you. Admiral Anderson always said you were the best. And with Cerberus coming for my students, I need the best."

 _Flattery. Interesting. Why?_ "How many of you are there?"

"Fewer than twenty. Most were sent home when word of the Reaper invasion spread." Kahlee paused, and Shepard jerked her head, indicating to Garrus and James that they needed to keep an eye on the corridor if she was entering the office. They exited, while Eliza followed the administrator to her station. "But a few volunteered to stay. Some are prototyping tech for the Alliance. Others are..." there was an oddly-charged pause before Sanders finished, "biotics. They've been training for military operations, working together as biotic artillery."

Shepard desperately tried to control her expression, while _inside_ , anger began to burn. To distract herself, she circled back to the prior comment. "You said something about Admiral Anderson."

The administrator looked up from her files, as if staring off into the past. "Yes. We met - God, what's it been? - twenty years ago when he was a Spectre candidate." Kahlee looked up at Eliza and met her gaze. "I was there when Saren betrayed him."

_Whoah. Interesting._

"David saved my life that day. He's a good man."

_Was she one of the civilians Saren missed killing?_

"He was on Earth when the Reapers hit. He stayed behind when I got off-world." _Does she still feel so deeply, then?_

Kahlee looked down, staring into middle-space. "I hadn't heard. We've been cut off from most news." She blurted out, "he's alive?"

_Yep, she cares._

"Alive and fighting. He's currently leading the resistance movement." _Since we switched places._ Shepard made a mental note to decide whether or not she was going to trust Anderson with all of her contacts, _if_ she ever heard from him again.

"Good. If we get out of here... well..." Eliza watched with increasing satisfaction as Sanders clearly relived something personal. "Just tell him to stay alive."

Shepard nodded briefly. _Curiouser and curiouser. So what about the kids?_ "A few months knocking over practice dummies can't prepare your students for war." 

"Agreed. But the Alliance needs every resource it can get. And our students are unique... resources." Kahlee Sanders either didn't see Elizabeth Shepard hard-flinch, or she didn't care, but the insensitive statement had knocked her back a bit in Eliza's eyes. "They wanted to help; how could we say 'no' with the entire galaxy falling apart?"

 _Easy. You tell them they're only teenagers and we need them to learn to USE their gifts before they run out into a fight and get killed._ Shepard sighed, and then stiffened as an alarm went off on Sanders' workstation.

"Hang on." The admin checked her board. "I've been trying to get communications working."

A voice came over the speaker, begging for back-up further into the complex, and Shepard reloaded her heavy pistol even as she asked for directions. "Orion Hall?"

Sanders pointed as she gave directions, and Eliza took off running, grateful that she's be able to shoot something soon.

\--

The worst part of the run to Orion was figuring out the glass in Grissom couldn't be broken by rapid gunfire; all she could do was watch as Cerberus troopers kidnapped a young man. Even a steady stream of bullets aimed at their heads through the window hadn't made any of them so much as pause, and the teen they were dragging screamed the entire way. Eliza paced the wall, rage flaring inside. They were also too late to stop Cerberus from killing a girl right in front of their eyes. Shepard bent down with medigel, but the young woman had taken a head shot, probably died instantly.

Eliza's anger continued to build.

The _best_ part of the run to Orion was finding other students alive and directing them to join Sanders. And taking down every Cerberus trooper they came across. With each one she drained, Shepard became a little clearer in her absolute loathing of the Illusive Man's tactics; she found the bald-faced lies blaring over the Grissom loudspeakers particularly egregious. Picking on clueless children. She remembered, all too clearly, the Teltin facility on Pragia.

_He claimed complete ignorance of that operation, and the files seemed to back him up. But there's no WAY you could get me to believe he doesn't know about **this**._

\--

When they finally got to the entrance-way, Eliza was actually shocked to find the door unlocked. Kahlee had contacted them only seconds before to let them know the situation was bad; the instructor was in danger of being over-run. The three of them had sprinted down the hall, she'd slammed a palm on the door lock, and then...

A biotic attack went off and a Cerberus soldier went flying. A querulous voice intoned "EAT this."

Eliza _knew_ that voice. " **Jack**??"

The heavily-tattooed woman woman looked directly at her." _Shep_ -ard?"

 _Oh Good Lord. Bet there's a story behind THIS._ Off to their left, there was a 'swoosh' sound, and a mech was stooping to enter Orion Hall through another apparently-unlocked door. _We need to secure the damn room._

Before Eliza could get into position, Jack ran forward and slid along the floor, popping up between the armored unit and the nearest student, who - Shepard had to admit - was just standing there starring at the mech like any frightened kid. _Biotic artillery, eh?_

Jack let off what looked like a Warp, but it didn't phase the operator much. Eliza moved in and began firing to distract it, hoping Jack would get the hint and move her students somewhere safer.

A couple minutes later, Overloads had brought the mech down, almost too easily... though Shepard took great delight in draining its operator _just_ enough that he would have _felt_ the machine explode around him in the end. She appreciated that Garrus was being smart and staying in cover, even as she watched James start to pursue the mech; she made an angry gesture that made him duck back behind the pylon while finishing it off.

She heard Jack yell "Get ready - more on the way"... but there were only three. She drained them from across the room. Too quickly, it was over. There weren't nearly enough troops to slake what was fast-becoming a _need_ to slaughter _all_ of Cerberus.

Still trying to calm down, she heard someone laughing above her head. "Kahlee said she was putting out an SOS; I had no idea the Queen of the Girl Scouts would show up." Eliza watched as Jack turned to her students. "All right - amp check. Prangley, those fields were _weak_. Cerberus isn't going to lie down out of pity like that girl you took to prom."

_Ouch. Jack, seriously?_

The tattooed biotic was just getting started. "Grab juice and an energy bar. We move in five." She energized her jump over the balustrade and fell two stories, to hit the ground near Shepard.

 _Don't be **dumb** , Jack. I'm in NO MOOD._ She braced for incoming.

Behind her, Vakarion spoke up. "As _charming_ as ever." When Eliza glanced at him, he'd already put away his rifle.

Seeing him apparently stopped Jack in her tracks. "Good to see you again, Garrus. Face still looks like shit."

Eliza arched a cautionary brow, but Jack kept talking.

"OK, right now - all I care about is getting _my_ guys _out_ of here."

This shook Shepard. She repeated, incredulously "Your guys?"

A sad little laugh broke from Jack. She turned around to gaze up at the pulpit, and the kids inside drinking juice, eating, laughing somehow. "Yeah. I guess so."

_Wow. Yeah, this is new. But good._

"I can't think of anybody who could care about them more."

Rather like Joker, Jack couldn't let it go without snark. "Well, I had some free time while you were off playing hero. Alliance brass knew I helped you. They offered me this." She shifted again, like a star toward its planets, and half-addressed the students up on the balcony. "And apparently the students responded well to my teaching style."

Eliza tried to prevent a loud snort, and one of the kids - Prangley, she thought - yelled down "The Psychotic Biotic!" The dark-haired girl next to him made a mocking fist pump and added loudly: "I WILL **DESTROY** YOU!"

Shepard was trying not to laugh when Jack called back to the girl "Drink your juice, Rodriguez. You couldn't destroy wet tissue paper." _They really have your number, Jack._

Eliza's omni-tool pinged, and she answered the call on her headset. "Cortez to extraction team. The Cerberus Cruiser is coming back." And just like that, the jokes were over.

"How long have we got?"

"Two minutes, tops, Commander." _Not enough time._ "After that, there's no way we'll get past 'em." _No... no there isn't. DAMMIT._

"Get out of here and back to the Normandy. We'll find another way off the station."

"Roger that. Good luck, Ma'am." She watched as James walked toward her, heard her tell Cortez to bug out. Their eyes met and he nodded slightly. _No, James. I'm not risking Steve OR our only shuttle._

"Shepard to Sanders. The students are safe, but the shuttle's a no-go." Eliza felt Jack's concerned gaze settle on her. _For the love of God, don't start, Jack. We'll get out of here._

"Understood. I might know another way off the station. But I need station-wide camera access. Can you disable the Cerberus security override? It's routed through Orion Hall, so it should be nearby."

 _Convenient._ "What am I looking for?"

"A datapad with LAN access, maybe an omni-tool, maybe an actual laptop? You'll know the program when you find it."

Shepard found a datapad, all right, but it turned out to be Cerberus notes on how they considered Prangley 'Capture Priority _Alpha_ '. Shepard dropped the datapad in disgust and checked the laptop next to it.

 _Bingo_. "Sanders, you should have access now."

"Got it." The admin's voice sounded relieved. Then she added, in a worried tone, "The fastest way is through the Atrium, but Cerberus has sealed the doors. You'll need to disable the magnetic locks. The overrides should be directly above the door."

Eliza ran up the stairs... right into the middle of the kids' concerned chatter.

_You really think we're going to leave here? Of course we are... Sorry... So, our teacher worked with Commander Shepard? That's pretty bad-ass... Yeah, wonder why she never mentioned it? I think I strained my brain... Just drink your juice... Did you hear Cerberus had people's names? They must have files on all of us..._

_Was I ever that young? I don't remember. It feels like I've always been old..._

One of the kids - seeing her walk by - said "I can't believe you and our teacher worked together. With both of you here, maybe we've got a chance." _That's... Rodriguez?_ The tall young man across from the girl commented "We'll be ready when you need us, Commander." Eliza fixed his face in her memory, hoping for a better future for him. _Prangley. I won't let them take you._

She nodded at both of the kids and tried the back wall, finally found the override switch. "Got it," she informed Sanders.

"You should be able to force the door open now. I'll get to the shuttles ahead of you, and get a pair ready to fly." Eliza sprinted down the stairs, stopping only because Jack was basically blocking her way out of the Hall, and she spoke up when Shepard got close.

"Hey. Let me know when we've got a new way off this station."

 _Well, this might be my last chance to get a straight answer about the 'biotic artillery' crap_. "How are the students handling the war?"

Jack looked irritated. "How do you think? They're a bunch of teenagers. Until a few months ago, their biggest concern was getting laid." Behind her, James or Garrus - or both - snorted.

"You don't think they're ready for war?" _What about the training?_

"I don't think they have a choice." _OK, let's try plain speech._

"So all this talk about biotic artillery strikes...?"

"It's great in theory." Jack rolled her eyes up to the balcony again. "Maybe they'll get it together once they've seen some action."

 _Tell. me. the. TRUTH._ "Bu-uut?"

Jack sighed, defeated. "They'd be better off as support. Put 'em in the back ranks, helping with Barriers and shit." Her voice became uncharacteristically uncertain. "I don't _know_."

Eliza wanted to smack some sense into ALL of them. "Have you told _them_ that?"

" **No**. They need me to _believe_ in them. I did pick up a _few_ things listening to your damn speeches."

_But, Jack: **lying** to them isn't... **dammit**. At least it's clear she cares._

"I have to say, Jack, you look good."

"Yeah, well. Maybe some of your attitude rubbed off on _me_. I never had a family. And these guys..." She smiled wistfully, but her eyes grew hard. "Anyone screws with my students, I will _tear them apart_."

_Yeah. I can see things are... different._

"Stay close. We'll get you out of here."

Jack became brisk. "Good."

Shepard jogged down to the Atrium entrance and forced open the door. "Everyone, be ready. We'll go in first and draw their fire."

Jack proposed an alternate route for the students. "We'll shadow you from the second level, and hit those ba-" she correctly herself mid-curse, "-those _guys_ from above."

James turned to her. "I like it. Keeps 'em safer, too."

Shepard nodded. _So we're all agreed._ "Just time your shots, and **stay. safe**." She and James and Garrus started out the door. Behind them, Jack began another pep talk. One that Cerberus interrupted. Almost into the Atrium, Eliza turned back when she heard Kahlee exclaim "Dammit, they're messaging everyone. Students, switch your omni-tools to privacy mode so they can't track you."

Rodriguez was the first of the kids to finally show some concern: "What if- what if they're not lying?"

Shepard called up the stairs "You've already held your own against Cerberus. You've been trained for this by one of the best."

She didn't hear what Jack added to her admonition, but the students all started toward the Atrium, so she yelled out "Let's go!"

\--

It was a serious brawl. Shepard herself took quite a bit of fire, including some turret fire, and one mech-propelled rocket that she figured she might hear a comment or two from James about, later. The two of them had used the upper half-wall to good effect, strafing back and forth and generally remaining in cover. There had been a _lot_ of grenades, yet she'd been able to duck most of them. And it was amusing to listen to Jack yelling at - teaching? - her students during the entire fight. By the time they escaped the Atrium, she was a little sore, yeah, but not as hurt as she might have expected. Looking back at her crew, she hoped the same could be said of them.

Kahlee continued to provide them with directions, and they kept moving toward the shuttles. Another room and a hallway later, they stumbled across three more students. The omni-tool clad techs - two young men and a young woman - were hunkered down behind a considerable barrier of energy that Shepard suspected was being generated by the machine behind them. The soldiers were attempting to persuade the kids to take down the shield.

 _Yeah. Not happening._ Eliza walked up behind them, listening to the girl talk about her invention and how disinclined she was to deactivate it. Shepard _almost_ wanted to laugh. Then, of course, she used Reave on both of the troopers. Shot them. It was over quickly.

This... concerned the young woman, to put it mildly. "I don't know who you are, but stay back!"

She holstered her gun and walked up to the Barrier. "I'm Commander Shepard with the Alliance. I'm here to help."

"I didn't buy it from the last guy and I got no reason to buy it now." The young woman held firm. If Eliza hadn't been so worried about speed, she would have been more impressed.

One of the young men - the one kneeling by the generator - suddenly said "The square root of nine hundred six point-oh-one equals-"

"Thirty-point-one." _That's... **David**. Oh. My. **God**. LOOK at him._

The young man glanced up, clear cherry-brown eyes meeting hers through the force field. "Hello, Commander Shepard."

The other male tech was staring, dumbfounded, at his partner. "David, you _know_ her?"

 _Oh my God._ Eliza suddenly wanted to cry. She was glad she'd taken off her helmet, since it made her more recognizable, but war heroes just didn't start sniffling in the middle of battles with terrorists.

"Yes. She rescued me from Cerberus. Sent me here. She made it quiet."

_**Thank** God. Look at him. He's... better._

The standing techs stared at each other for a few seconds... and took the Barrier down.

Shepard cleared her throat. "You did a great job keeping yourselves safe. The biotic students are up there. Stay close - they'll get you out of here."

Octavia glanced away, clearly embarrassed at her prior combativeness. "OK." She scratched her shoulder. "Uh... thanks." Her and the other dark-haired tech walked away, but David lingered.

Garrus finally spoke up. "He looks better." _You can say THAT again._

"I remember you... Normandy crew." David glanced down at the floor, then back up. "Sorry."

Before Shepard could do it, Garrus pushed aside the apology with "It was _never_ your fault."

 _Damn straight, it wasn't._ Eliza still regretted not having done more damage to David's older brother.

"Has Grissom Academy been all right?"

"Yes. I've been counting."

This made Eliza _truly_ smile, for what felt like the first time in days. _He's **better**._ "Anything in particular?"

"The number of days you lengthened my life." Eliza jerked in surprise and _again_ fought tears. David glanced over his shoulder. "The Security Office; I hacked the lock. Guns. Lots of guns. Good-bye."

 _Hacking, huh? I knew we had something in common._ Shepard watched him go with the feeling that at least _one_ horrible Cerberus choice had been made right.

\--

The raided the security office and kept moving. The only soldier they encountered before the loading area was an engineer casually lounging _outside_ his mech. Shepard Reaved him without a second thought. And swiped the mech.

 _I would rather have asked James to drive the damn thing, but I can just imagine THAT argument - 'You'll be more protected; I can't use Incendiary ammo in there. Why take chances?'_

Eliza admitted driving the mech was rather fun, but also thought that next time she would make Garrus do it.

They'd stemmed the tide of Cerberus troops, and were nearly all in the shuttles, when Jack uttered a panicked "Wait! Where the hell's Rodriguez?"

 _Problem child._ She went back to search, Jack right behind her.

Cerberus soldiers were chasing the girl toward the shuttle bay. Rodriguez slid and ducked into cover, but the troopers were _right_ behind her.

 _Fuckers._ Shepard slammed her rifle against the glass, trying in vain to break it, as she'd done before. "She needs covering fire."

"She needs more than that." Jack activated a Vanguard's ability to channel All The Energy into a blow, and the huge glass windows _shattered en masse._

 _Show-off_. Eliza didn't hesitate, leaping through the opening and supporting Rodriguez as they staggered back through the door, trying not to jar her injured arm.

\--

For Shepard, the most interesting part of the ride back was finding out Jack had agreed to modulate her language and mode of dress in order to become an instructor. Eliza filed that information away, for later.

She also backed up Jack with regards to what role the kids should fill during the war. She knew any other call would have broken something inside Subject Zero... and Eliza wanted all of them to have a chance at making it out alive. Assuming anyone did.

\--

She'd been back on the ship maybe ten minutes before Traynor informed her Admiral Anderson had been trying to reach her. How he'd heard about their side-trip to Grissom, Shepard had no idea, but she went to return his call. She considered bringing Kahlee Sanders along, but the administrator had taken a bunch of the students to the Mess Hall, Lounge, and Port Observation.

 _If we can confine their wanderings to Crew Deck, we'll be damn lucky._ Shepard was already having misgivings about Octavia and her friends descending on Engineering, or mixing with the N7 troops she'd ordered to relocate to the Shuttle Bay. _Thank God we'll be at the Citadel soon, and can offload **all** of our passengers._

The QEC warmed up, and Anderson flicked into view. He was wearing combat fatigues; Eliza's first indication that the battle for Earth was, well, real. "Shepard. Damned if you aren't a sight for sore eyes."

"Good to see you too, Sir."

" _Sir?_ I may have reinstated you, but that doesn't give you permission to go all _formal_ on me."

 _Oh, REALLY?_ "Then... I'm glad you managed to keep your ass alive, Anderson."

"That's more like it."

Shepard listened and responded with half an ear, noting how concerned the Admiral actually was about Sanders, letting him know she was fine... _and_ that she'd expressed a similar interest in the state of _his_ health. He cleared up the mystery of how he'd found out about Grissom, alerting Eliza to the fact that he and Hackett were (somehow) in semi-constant communication. More good news.

"... did she now? Now that might be the first good news I've heard this week." He turned, as if he was about to close the com link.

"David, _wait._ " The Admiral stopped, turned back, seemed confused by her urgency. "Get someone to record these names. Are you ready?" When Anderson nodded, still puzzled, Eliza rattled off her list. "Cathán Moran, New York City. Jared Landis, Boston. John Vasquez, Los Angeles. Summer Fielding, Atlanta. Antonio Vasquez, Houston." Shepard stopped and met her former CO's eyes squarely in the holo. "Don't mess around with those names; I know the Red's Atlanta head is an alias, but I think Summer is her actual first name. Just... treat them with respect. I'm trusting your judgment."

"All right." Anderson's brows lowered. " _Who_ are these people?"

Eliza sighed. "They and their lieutenants are the people in each of those cities who have a chance in hell at keeping people on the ground alive. The ones, anyway, who might actually work with you; there are others I may be able to put you in contact with later." She took a deep breath. "They're gang leaders, David. When the Alliance wouldn't listen to me, I went _home_. Home _listened_."

The Admiral gaped a bit... then reality slapped him in the face. "Ground troops?"

"Weapons, yes. LOTS of them. But also laboratories ready to make anti-paralytic agents. Food stocks. Large underground shelters. This is how humans hold out long enough to survive: by running when we need to, and fighting only when we have to." Eliza exhaled through her nose, "I wasn't sure if I should tell you. I had always expected-" Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them. "Well, I thought that *I'd* be there, and _you'd_ be here." She met his gaze head-on. "Meeting Kahlee Sanders... well, maybe it made me start to hope you could see this as the resource it is, and not make the stupid mistake of trying to bust them. They _won't_ submit to military discipline, David, and they _won't_ give up their stockpiles, not for anything. But if you quietly put out the word that you're willing to work _with_ them, they will do what they can to provide safe places of retreat. Maybe you can all work together."

\--

Shepard didn't know what to think when she went to check on the kids and found Jack beginning to hand out tattoos in the Lounge. But they all looked fed and relaxed - and the _Normandy_ was almost to the Citadel - so she mentally said _fuck it_ and went back to her duties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIMELINE:
> 
> ~ 07:00 Shepard checks her messages, hears about Grissom, tells James (who is talking with Victus)  
> ~ 07:15 Shepard goes in to check with Joker, ends up also talking with EDI. they begin the trip from Apien Crest to Sol.  
> ~ 08:00 The _Normandy_ completes some daring raids to gather abandoned forces, and _barely_ escape Reapers due to their speed and stealth.  
> ~ 08:30 once they're safely out of Sol, Shepard checks to see if Garrus will be ready for Grissom, since he took damage on Menae.  
> ~ 08:45 Shepard also checks in with James; they argue about Grissom landing party. she also checks on Cortez, urging him to take a break on the Citadel when they get there. the _Normandy_ is on its way to Meade, then Petra.  
> ~ 09:00 they arrive at Grissom; all hell breaks loose with Cerberus.  
> ~ 10:00 after approximately 23 hrs of no contact, Shepard finally hears from Anderson. she tells him what's been going on, including information she's been holding onto all summer.
> 
> DIALOGUE/PLOT CHANGES/VIDEO &NARRATIVE:
> 
> (1) the video link: https://youtu.be/_3kHUp7yvKY
> 
> (2) the EDI/Shepard dialogue is truncated because it's stupid for her to stand up and say "Hello, Shepard" when Shepard is ALREADY THERE (seriously, Bioware? there's no flag you could have activated, to truncate the conversation as i did, in the case of this interaction running back-to-back with the first one, so it all makes more sense in context? no? i see.)
> 
> (3) Garrus/Shepard was heavily-tweaked; duplicate information has been removed, because Garrus just isn't going to repeat himself three times (neither is James, btw, which is why i also changed those conversations). the ending quip was removed because i had dialogue i wanted to add. i was a bit sad about it, because i like that quip, so i added it back (to the story at least).
> 
> (4) Shepard's "ordering" Steve to go to the Citadel was removed, because presumptuous, much? WTF. plus, i feel like her saying "Next time we go to the Citadel..." sounds stupid in light of the fact the entire crew _knows_ they're heading to the Citadel right after Grissom (though i understand why they programmed it the way they did).
> 
> (5) probably most notably, Jack's punch/slap is gone, because this (biotic) Shepard (having watched a bunch of biotic kids get attacked by Cerberus soldiers) is in NO MOOD to deal with Jack's bullsh*t... and Jack would know that. in my head-cannon, they've had a few conversations about the fact that neither of them had much of a family and both were abused. also my Shepard NEVER trusted Cerberus in the slightest... so Jack's accusation makes less than no sense. of course, maybe they'll fix it in the remaster *eyeroll*
> 
> (6) i've recorded more than one mission now twice-over to have helmet & no-helmet footage. where there is realistically a break in which a helmet could be removed, i feel free to intermix, because you should be able to _PUT ON and TAKE OFF a helmet_.
> 
> (7) a few bits of Anderson's talk are gone, for flow and added dialogue.
> 
> (8) lastly, the kids (and presumably Kahlee Sanders) are _still on the ship_. where the hell else are they supposed to be, Mass Effect script people? all of these missions with no repercussions are one of your **worst** plot holes.
> 
> /rant.


	8. Errand Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you an assassin?"  
> "I'm a _soldier_."  
> "You're neither. You're an errand boy."  
> ~ _Apocalypse Now_.
> 
> Eliza, doing All the Things. Being as honest with everyone as she possibly can be... which is way less honest than she used to be. Ah, well, war is hell.

Shepard left the QEC endeavoring not to overthink Anderson's mixed reaction to all the information she'd dumped on him. She had expected he wouldn't be _thrilled_ about her machinations, but she'd been gratified that he'd appeared to find them _slightly_ palatable. Perhaps he'd even seemed a bit... relieved?

_Of course, when the 'random' - yet devastatingly effective - urban explosions begin, I'm probably going to get another com-call._

She was walking out into the CIC, only half paying attention, when Traynor cut through her abstraction with "Commander... you have an encrypted message from a... Miranda Lawson."

_Oh... **joy**._

Eliza detoured to her private terminal, logged in, and read the file EDI had decrypted. And sighed.

_I'll just add one more thing to my Citadel To Do list, shall I?_

\--

She'd barely gotten wet when James tried to voice-chat her. 

_I could have left my omni-tool on the bed. On the desk. I could have thrown it in the fish tank. But NOOOOOOOO-_

True, his alert tone was faint through the noise of the shower... but it _was_ his chime. And the device, resting on the side of the sink, had lit up. Hard to legitimately ignore. Eliza groaned.

_This is becoming a Thing. WHY is this becoming a Thing?_

She stepped sideways twice and hit the button that locked out the display, turned the metal band away from the corner of the bathroom where water was still streaming down, and answered with an aggravated "WHAT?"

"Ah. Shower. That's, uh, timing again."

"What. Do. You. WANT?" Shepard jumped back into the hot water to warm up, and began to wash.

"How's the bruising this time? I seem to recall seeing someone _pop_ right up into the mech operator's sights and taking an incendiary to the torso."

Eliza groaned. _I **knew** he was just **waiting** to bring that up. I KNEW it._ "Fine. I saw Chakwas before Anderson called. And hey - I dodged the grenades this time."

She heard James snort. His voice dropped to the point where she _almost_ couldn't hear him when he murmured "Most of them."

"What was that, **Lieutenant**?" Shepard soaped up her loose hair, scratching at her sweaty skull with pleasure.

"Nothing, Ma'am. I know we're not headed back into another fight this time, but I'm glad you grabbed medigel. Better to be healed up... even if we're just having a drink and recruiting a couple crew-members."

Shepard rolled her eyes and considered mentioning all the other messages she'd gotten: Hackett's, about Bryson. The Spectre notification, from Bau. The strange summons from Miranda. And... Kaidan... trying to stave off Udina's sudden interest in having another human Spectre. _Is it sudden?_

"Your silence is making me wonder what the hell is going on. Don't get my hopes up this way."

Eliza snorted out a breath. "Nothing salacious, Lieutenant, sorry. There's just a lot more to get done during this Citadel trip than I realized."

"We're about to hit the Relay. Could you let me know if the plan changed again?"

Eliza sighed. The plan _had_ changed, hadn't it? And she probably should have informed her XO first-thing, shouldn't she? _Mierda._ "Actually... I think we need to push off Purgatory until noon."

There was a silence that stretched out several seconds longer than she'd expected. "What else needs to get done?"

Shepard started to rinse. "A bunch of other errands. In addition to having promised your _amigo_ Cortez that I would personally set up those purchasing contracts, we received a Priority One assignment from Hackett while we were at Grissom; I have to meet an Alliance researcher on the Presidium. I also received a message from a valuable contact, someone I knew during my days chasing the Collectors, and _they_ need to meet with me. Lastly, there's-" Shepard paused, then figured out how she could cover the other two messages without the specifics, "-some Spectre business I need to see to."

The com channel went quiet for a notable interval before James brusquely said "We should be docking in fifteen minutes. I'll let you finish."

She puzzled over Vega's strange behavior as she dried off, re-braided her hair, and dressed in the scavenged denims, T-shirt, and leather jacket Anderson had acquired for her. She was admiring the jacket in her mirror - remembering how Kane had had the scruffy thing reconditioned and embroidered with a tiny "N7" - when a thought lodged in her brain... and wouldn't shake out. Even though it was ridiculous.

_Did he find out Kaidan is conscious, and messaged me? Is this about me going back to the hospital?_

\--

When they once again arrived at the hive of all sentient activity in the Milky Way, the _Normandy_ was immediately transferred to an Alliance official. Eliza had anticipated that the protocols - everyone having recovered from the unprecedented confusion of yesterday - would again be in place, but apparently Joker had not. "Hrphf. Figures. Finally back in action; the Alliance _already_ wants us tagged and collared."

"Just our way of welcoming you back, Flight Lieutenant." The sardonic voice did not seem particularly amused. Shepard glared at her pilot. _BEHAVE._

To his credit, Joker cleaned it up quickly. "Uhhhh - yes, Ma'am! Requesting docking permission?"

"Docking permission granted. Would you like private transport arranged?"

 _Sure... let me just take an Alliance escort with Miranda waiting for me in our docking bay._ "I'll handle it."

The smooth, feminine voice was far more respectful when it deferred to her wishes with "Yes, Commander."

\--

Eliza spotted Miranda more quickly than she'd expected to, given the encrypted nature of her email. The woman in the white bodysuit also quietly called "Shepard" when she got closer, and Eliza winced. _Right outside our airlock, Miranda? This is stealthy?_

"Commander Shepard, it's been far too long. we live in... interesting times."

 _Understatement of the year._ "A little too interesting."

"I couldn't get anywhere near you when the Alliance had you locked up." 

_Yeah, I don't imagine you wanted to risk Earth._ "It was... complicated."

"I'm sure it was. I'm surprised they didn't court-marshal you. The Alliance isn't known for their flexibility." Miranda's voice was too smooth for Shepard to be sure that the ex-Cerberus agent knew she'd scored a hit.

She shut down **that** reminiscence quickly, with "Doesn't matter now."

"Shepard... about Earth-" Eliza kept walking, but then realized Lawson had stopped, so she did as well.

"Countless people lost their lives within minutes. The Reapers are _everything_ we feared."

"They should have listened to you a long time ago." Eliza let her head fall forward, trying to block the memory. She distantly heard the dark-haired biotic add "I'm sorry, Shepard."

 _Well, well, well. Miranda Lawson, realizing how hard it was for Commander Elizabeth Shepard to abandon Earth. Will miracles never cease?_ Eliza felt her jaw clench. _I think we need a change of subject._

"What about you? What brings you here?"

Shepard listened while Miranda danced around the fact that she was _petrified_ that she'd lost contact with her sister again, all the while feeling that cold certainty she'd felt before: _so much for a problem we thought we'd fixed **staying** fixed. Damn Cerberus._ The women parted with the understanding that Miranda knew how to contact her when and if she needed assistance, and that Eliza was more than willing to do a hell of a lot more damage to Cerberus.

_Bad news, no useful intel. This day had better improve, and soon._

\--

Shepard had had every intention of prioritizing the weapons dealers in the Presidium Commons, but ended up forcing herself to take extra time, to stop at _every_ kiosk, to put her thumb print on a contract with _every_ store. She wasn't sure why it felt important, only that it did. 

Part of her had started to wonder what they could possibly need, that she couldn't presently anticipate, for which (at some point) she would gratefully pay an extra ten percent to have simply show up at one of the _Normandy_ 's destinations. Cortez was correct. Time was far more important than money, and their supply situation was too precarious to skip spending an extra ten minutes _now_ , and then find out they needed, oh - a Star Map to a certain system - with the alternative being travel all the way back to Widow.

It was during her last contract negotiation that she ran into EDI. On the Commons.

Walking around.

"Hello, Shepard." 

_As if this happened every day. As if she hadn't been confined to the computer system on board the Normandy, just **last** night._

"You look like you're gathering data." _Please let that be all you're doing._

"That is a safe assumption."

Shepard realized she was trying to tease an _artificial intelligence_ ; it shouldn't be a shock that humor went over her head. And yet, EDI's answer as to what she actually _was_ doing was a bit... concerning.

"I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff's behavior." Shepard followed EDI's deliberate gaze and saw Joker sitting on a bench, not far away. Eliza allowed herself a moment of relief - _she's NOT actually here alone_ \- followed by a moment of panic. _What the hell did Joker do NOW?_

"I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but he has not stated it to anyone yet." The synthetic face actually seemed to crease in thought, and Eliza grew even more confused. "Shepard, you have first-hand sexual experience - how do you know when someone is romantically-invested?"

Eliza just stared at the AI for a second, mind a blank. Of ALL the possible things she could have anticipated, this... _God. Well, I suppose..._ "Uhhh-" She thought furiously, "they'll usually show signs they can't stop thinking about you. You know - asking you out, giving you presents... maybe playing music?" _Sometimes they show signs, EDI. But sometimes they hide what they feel like frightened children._

The AI, however, had taken her answer quite literally. "I lack material wants, other than hardware and software upgrades. And my core programming does not assign values to music." EDI paused for barely a second, and then added, "perhaps we could discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment."

Eliza blinked hard at the word 'provoke' and her mouth dropped open, just a bit, when EDI finished with 'emotional commitment'. Part of her wondered what the AI would say if she replied "Look, if I knew how to do that, don't you think I would have done it to Lieutenant Vega?" _Do NOT go there. This isn't funny._

"That's... _no-ot_ how to think of it. It's... gotta be natural. You need chemistry." _And guts. And a little stupidity. How to explain to her that you can't just **force** people to return your feelings? Wait... how does she HAVE feelings?_ Eliza's head began to hurt again.

"I see." A thoughtful pause. "There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to simulate the desired emotional state."

Shepard sternly schooled herself not to laugh. _This truly isn't funny: she just went the **other way** in understanding._ "No. I mean relax and do something you both like. Something simple. For example..." Shepard suddenly flashed back - a soft blanket beneath cedar trees, homemade tacos, milk cake, laughter in the park - but she roughly pushed most of it away, except the one piece that could help her, "... you both like humor."

"Correct. I will see if there are comedic entertainment shows being presented on the Citadel. Scanning. Do you think he would like _The Man Who Hung Himself_? It appears to be about an amorous plastic surgeon."

Eliza firmly stopped herself from slapping her forehead; it was a close call. "EDI, the important thing is to have a good time-" she didn't know if one could reassure a synthetic by touch, but she patted the AI on the arm anyway, "-wherever you go. And if you're having fun, he probably will too." She ruthlessly strangled memories of James before they could even fully form, concentrating on EDI's reaction with all her might.

"Then the outcome is an unknown quantity... but you are saying I should attempt it anyway."

_Ah. Yeah, that **is** the sucky part. The part where they might not like you back. Or they like you... but not enough._

"Nobody ever fell in love without being a little bit brave." _You are SUCH a fraud, Lola._ Eliza swallowed hard. It almost sounded like someone else had said that. She wondered if he was already in Purgatory, waiting on her. And she hadn't even made it to Bryson's lab yet. She wondered if she should message him.

EDI took a while to process, and then responded with "I see." She sounded a little lost, and Shepard's heart went out to her. But then the AI appeared to rally. "I believe you have improved my chances, Shepard. Thank you."

Eliza blinked. _Uhhh.... good?_ "I'm going to go over and see how Joker's legs are holding up, find out how much longer he plans to be here. I was hoping Cortez would also take some leave."

She started to sidle away, but paused when EDI added "If you feel comfortable with the line of inquiry, Shepard, I would appreciate any and all data you can gather for me on Jeff's emotional attachments."

_Good Lord. Our AI is... going through **puberty**. This is all we needed._

\--

Joker was pissed at the apparent unconcern of Citadel denizens... and not bothering to hide it; his sarcasm was quick and acidic. While understanding how he felt and agreeing one hundred percent, Eliza didn't think they had many options except to keep ticking off items on their to-do list, and hoping the Council woke up sooner rather than later.

"Meanwhile, they _ignore_ the unshackled AI walking around the Presidium."

 _Oh, thank God, now I can ask._ "She run into any trouble?"

"Nono - she's my _mobility-assistance mech_ \- thanks to Vrolik Syndrome I'm legally entitled to bring her everywhere. Finally gettin' some _use_ out of those disability benefits."

Eliza wanted to laugh and roll her eyes in equal measure. "I'm sure she appreciates getting out to see the sights." _Just PLEASE be careful, Joker. She's been in that platform less than HALF a DAY._

"Ehhh. She's earned a little shore leave."

Shepard couldn't argue against that. "So have you, Joker." She stood up. "I know you're not exactly happy about occasionally being left in command, but your performance at Grissom was amazing. And I've left a note in your service record to that effect." She arched an eyebrow as she opened this conversational door, hoping Joker was too happy - and too cognizant of their surroundings - to yell at her.

Jeff sighed. "Honestly, Commander-" he paused, and then scowled, "-while I'd prefer you didn't breathe a _word_ of it to Vega, I'm..." The pilot stopped again, and then looked her in the eye. "I decided I'm OK with it. Really. Maybe the big goon was right, and meeting the Primarch-" Joker stopped again and his scowl got wider. "Well, just don't tell Vega."

Shepard almost bit her tongue. "I won't." She turned to leave, and then remembered, "If you can hold your shore leave to an hour or so, I'd be grateful. Maybe gently prod Cortez that it's his turn, when you go back aboard?"

Jeff appeared thoughtful. "You really look out for us, don't you, Commander?" A wry expression twisted his face once more. "Makes me feel all warm and _squishy_ inside... like bananas left in the sun: brown and rotten."

Eliza snorted as she walked away. "You say the _sweetest_ things, Joker."

\--

Another of her crew had decided to visit the Commons; to sit at a cafe table and... work?

"Still working?"

"One call leads to another. And here I was hoping I'd have time to enjoy the view." Liara stood, pivoted, and raised her face to gaze out over the Presidium's lush gardens. "The last time I saw the Presidium... remember how it was all rubble after Sovereign attacked?"

Shepard turned away. She did, indeed, remember. "I barely got to see the Presidium before half of it got crushed." _Feels almost like a metaphor for my relationship with Alenko. Stop dwelling, Eliza._

"And by the time they repaired it, it was time for the next invasion. The Citadel hasn't seen the reality of this war yet. We should stock up on necessities while we can."

 _In their defense, it HAS only been a day. But yes._ "Such as?" Shepard had already begun, with the purchasing contracts, but she was curious as to what the _Shadow Broker_ would recommend.

"EZO, heavy arms, mercenary groups."

 _Huh. Great minds...?_ "Practical. I like it." _Of course, I've already DONE this once. God, I hope Kane is still alive..._

T'Soni re-seated herself. Picked up her padd. "You can get started by talking to the Volus, Barla Von, in his office. He'll point you to some mercenaries willing to join us."

 _Go through Von, even though I'm **looking** at the Broker? What is this about? Keeping your identity secret?_ "I'll do that on my way to Bryson's lab." Eliza's tone grew sarcastic: "I'm already running behind - what's one more stop?"

Liara glanced up from the datapad. "Shepard, make sure you get a _little_ bit of downtime today, will you?"

Eliza rolled her eyes. "Pot, kettle." She started to walk away.

The Asari turned fully in her chair. "What..?"

Shepard threw a small, reassuring, smile over her shoulder. "Old Earth expression. It means 'you first', Liara."

T'Soni blinked, and her azure complexion darkened slightly. "I'll try."

\--

Barla Von recognized her immediately, seemed to know why she was there, and uploaded coordinates of yet _another_ group that had apparently gotten boxed in - stranded - by Reaper forces. With an exasperated mental sigh, Eliza shuffled their flight schedule one more time.

_This had better be worth it, Shadow Broker._

\--

Shepard didn't realize how little attention she was truly paying to Dr. Bryson's obsessive diatribe... until the moment she heard the gunshot and found herself instinctively knocking his assistant to the floor. Only then did the enormity of what was happening in this laboratory begin to sink in. Finding Hackett's exchanges with Task Force Aurora hammered home the import of whatever this team had been chasing. But as she and EDI roamed the lab, Eliza couldn't help but wonder - if the assistant was truly indoctrinated, and contact with the artifact had done it - what ELSE was out there that could assume mental control of other beings?

_This will be my... **third** such ancient being? This day is NOT getting better._

She had taken the opportunity to message James while waiting for C-Sec to show up.

**SHEP: already running behind and Bryson's lab just got complicated. will be late. did you find Ken and Gabby?**  
_**VEGA: just got here. no sign. that Asari that runs Omega is here, though, and *pissed*. will continue to look around and message you when they come in** _  
**SHEP: thanks. gotta go. C-Sec just arrived.**  
_**VEGA: C-SEC?** _  
**SHEP: will explain later**

They had managed to narrow the search to one system, and would most likely be leaving the Citadel to chase it directly; Hackett's orders. 

_Primarch Victus is going to **love** this. Collateral damage, indeed. And what the HELL had the assistant meant by 'the darkness can not be breached'? Why did he remember being cold?_

\--

Eliza had every intention of putting off the Spectre Jochum Bau's request for her aid until _after_ she'd checked in on all of the Normandy's past (and hopefully future) crew. And yet - when she briefly swung by Bailey's office to thank him for C-Sec's prompt assistance at Bryson's laboratory - she ran directly into the salarian Spectre lurking outside the offices. He recognized her (who _wasn't_ recognizing her of late?) and demanded that she help him track down information on one of the Hanar Ambassadorial staff who he suspected was indoctrinated.

Put that way, Shepard didn't feel she could refuse. But as she entered the Spectre office, all she could think was _so much for trying to put THAT off._

Eliza wasn't all that shocked when Kasumi uncloaked directly behind her and began explaining that she'd found the leaked information in the Greybox her ex-partner had wanted destroyed. When she offered to tag along under her cloaking device, Shepard sighed. "I'd appreciate it." 

She watched as Kasumi faded from view again. _This just keeps getting better._

Eliza used the Spectre terminal to activate tracking on the Hanar, and - as long as she was in the system - double-checked that no one had rejected her authorization of Ken and Gabby's pardons. _Rank has its privileges._

The trail led her all over the Citadel, and through numerous conversations with an apparently still mourning Kasumi. As Shepard hit the button to take the elevator back to the Embassies and meet up with Bau again, James finally messaged her.

_**VEGA: Daniels and Donnelly just arrived. they got drinks and took a table. where r u?** _

_Dammit._

**SHEP: Spectre business. will be another half hour. if looks like they're leaving, talk to them without me, or ask them to wait**  
_**VEGA: Lola, we can't afford to lose them. get your butt down here ASAP** _

Kasumi had taken notice of her absorption; "So, do those Normandy-based extranet messages have _anything_ to do with the investigation you're dragging me along on," she quietly whispered, "or are they, as *I* suspect, love notes?"

Shepard jumped as the elevator door opened. She pivoted in the general direction of the thief's voice. "They're from my XO. He's threatening to quit on me if I don't meet him in Purgatory, as planned, a _half an hour ago_. We're stalking Kenneth Donnelly and Gabrielle Daniels, hoping to get them to come back on board as engineering crew."

There was a low, surprised whistle. " _Someone_ is standing up to Shep. Almost worth joining up just to meet him."

"Let's get this _done_ , shall we?"

Eliza left the elevator (trailed, presumably, by Kasumi) and entered the Hanar offices to arrest _Regards the Works of the Enkindlers With Despair_... and nothing went as planned.

Shepard felt the anger that had been lurking under her skin ever since Grissom explode outward when faced with a Hanar Ambassador about to dismantle their planetary defense network and let the Reapers walk right in. The man assisting the Hanar jumped Bau, but Shepard - trusting Kasumi to stop the upload - jumped the human and saved Jochum, even as the terminal in front of Kasumi exploded in a shower of sparks. The hapless thief slumped to the floor, apparently dead. Eliza was left to explain to her fellow Spectre that Kasumi's self-sacrifice was heroic, and all's well that end's well. She wanted to roll her eyes again, but thought better of it. It was becoming habitual.

The salarian left. As soon as the door closed behind him, she turned: "You can come out, now."

Kasumi suddenly popped back into view. "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess." Eliza gave into the urge to roll her eyes this time, trying to ignore the faint twinge of pain at her temples.

Kasumi sidled out from the corner of the room. "There's _no_ way you're recruiting me to fight in a galactic war."

Shepard shrugged. "The Crucible project needs technical experts."

"I'm _not_ a scientist!"

"No, but you're the best thief in the galaxy. And you can hack unfamiliar technology better than anyone. They could use your help. And think of it: all that expensive tech just lying around. It's not like they're gonna check your pockets at the end of the project."

The black-clad thief actually stopped to consider, and then smiled. "You say the nicest things. _All_ right, I'm in. And Shep - nice working with you again."

\--

Eliza ran into a couple doctors in Huerta who happened to be looking for things she'd found in the computer systems at Sanctum and on Grissom. But she also ran smack into yet _another_ old friend.

"Commander Shepard. When I heard Earth was under attack, I tried to call. I never got through."

"Thane. Good to see you staying in shape." Hearing his voice - so much raspier than before - hurt her heart; she vaguely remembered seeing his encrypted com message - buried under a mountain of Alliance missives - when she finally regained access to her _nav.mil_ email account, yesterday afternoon.

"My disease kills slowly. With enough care and a healthy lifestyle, it can be delayed for a few years. Of course my allotted time has come and gone. Now I exercise because it pleases me." He paused, and then asked the question she had expected to hear immediately. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting a friend, Kaidan."

"The human biotic in intensive care." Thane coughed, and Shepard's stomach dropped to hear it: dry and raspy and all-together unwell-sounding. "I saw the marks of an implant."

"Yeah."

"We have spoken. He seems an honorable sort. Your enemies may try to finish him off here. I _will_ look out for him." Thane took another harsh breath and cocked his head. "I am near the end of my life; it is a good time to be generous." He looked away for a moment, then back. "Kepral's Syndrome has put most of my other plans on hold." He walked over toward the chairs near the windows and sat down.

"I'm back on the _Normandy_ on an important mission. Sure could use you."

"I would not be as I was before. I need daily medical attention. And if I know you, you will want to fight the Reapers, somehow. You need the best at your side, and I am _not_ at mine."

"You don't have to wrestle down Krogan and break their necks. I'm sure we could find you lighter work."

"I am at peace with what I've done in my life, Shepard. There comes a time when one must rest from war and conflict. It is not your time, but it _is_ mine."

"I wish the best for you, Thane." _And if that's what you want, I'n glad it seems like the Reapers are staying clear of the Citadel. For now._

"And I for you. Do not grieve for me. I have good doctors. My son visits regularly. Perhaps we will keep up via the extranet, now that you are free. Until we meet again, Shepard."

\--

Eliza left Thane sitting near the windows, veered into an empty corner near the entrance to the treatment facility, and IM'd James one last time.

**SHEP: still running around. they holding steady?**  
_**VEGA: WHERE R U** _  
**SHEP: last bit of Spectre business. be there 15 or less**

\--

Not even a minute later, Shepard halted in front of Kaidan's room and peered through the window. Udina was standing by the biotic's bedside, nasal voice nattering away at his trapped audience. _Should have gotten here ten minutes earlier - **listen** to that asshole trying to bully someone who was almost **KIA** twenty-four hours ago._ She stepped forward, the door opened, and the volume of the Ambassador's tirade increased.

"I'd like an answer, Major. The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you... now more than _ever_." 

_Why him? Why **now**? You don't even **know** him, Udina - what are you up to?_

"You'll have it soon, Councillor. I promise."

"I'll look forward to it." 

Eliza _really_ wanted to know what the HELL was going on. Udina barely managed to meet her eyes as he passed by, merely intoning "Shepard" as he exited the room. The dead timbre of his voice was... disturbing.

"Udina." _What. The. FUCK?_ Eliza turned back to Kaidan and tried to smile. "Hey."

Alenko still _looked_ horrible - his entire face remained mottled with black bruising - yet he managed to lever himself up in the bed to acknowledge her. "Shepard, hey. You just missed snack time." His lips quirked ruefully. "Actually, that's probably a good thing." He somehow kept his head elevated. Eliza really wanted to tell him to just _relax_. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem." She dragged a stool from the corner over to his bedside and settled onto it. "What did Udina want? Still thinkin' about the Spectre position?" _I would have said you should **absolutely** do it... except now I need to why Udina is pushing so damn hard._

"Well, it's a big honor. A huge responsibility. Just... need to be sure." 

_Yeah... and decide if you want to be Udina's pet for awhile. Thank God I missed out on **that** 'honor'._

Eliza brought out the bottle of whiskey she'd sneaked past the medical staff in the inner pocket of her leather jacket. "I gotcha this."

"Wow, thanks Shepard." Kaidan reached out to take it, admiring the label. "That's really great. Maybe when I'm out, we can crack it open and celebrate." He shifted on the mattress. "I am SO ready to get out of here, Shepard. You can't tell, but- I'm tied to this bed by medical red tape." He laid down and then almost immediately reared back up, making Eliza worry that the back of his head was still painful. "My implant got a little... rattled, so doc just wants me to keep the biotics off-line for a bit. It's really no big deal."

Shepard - who still wasn't done being pummeled by memories of the last time she and Kaidan had been on the Citadel together - admonished herself to ignore the phrase 'tied to this bed' and instead concentrate on the fact that he was bruised beyond description, apparently didn't want to lay flat on his pillow, and still couldn't use his biotics.

"Need me to break you out?" _That's a safe enough joke, right?_

Kaidan gave a small (but sincere-sounding) chuckle. "I'll let you know."

"I'm glad you asked me to come. It's good to see you're gonna be OK. And I care about what happens to you." _A subdural hemorrhage could have ended FAR worse..._

"Me too." His hand slid out and briefly grasped hers; the contact - the tingling, the energy rush, the pure adrenaline - smacked her in the face. _What the hell?_ "That means a lot, Shepard." Eliza forced herself not to finch away, and - thankfully - he let go.

"So I just want to make sure - after Mars, after Horizon-" left unsaid: 'after that night in the apartment where you almost accidentally killed me', "-you and me... we're good?"

"We're good. It was great to have you back on the Normandy." Eliza suspected _Kaidan_ was rambling because he was stuffed to the gills with pain killers, but she couldn't quite figure out why _she_ was rambling. Aftershock, maybe. Looking at his face brought back every minute of her nightmare.

"Thanks. I'm really glad you came by. Talking like this reminds me... how much I like you."

_Oh God. OK, that's... just the opiates talking. Try changing the subject again._

"Feel like we've cleared the air?"

"Yeah, you know I'm-" he cocked his head. Shepard wondered again whether or not he was completely lucid. "-I'm not sure I've been wrong about Cerberus, but-" The expression on his face was killing her. He looked like... "I've been wrong about you."

Eliza stared at his chin while her mind raced. _**Please** don't say it. I don't know what I'll do if you say it._

Her relief was immense when Alenko glanced away. "I should let you get back to the Normandy." He met her eyes; her stomach fluttered when he added, "Wish I could come with you."

 _Just... be calm. It's almost over. All you have to do now is walk out of here._ "Take care of yourself, Kaidan. We need you at a hundred percent."

"Will do." She stood up to leave. Almost as if he couldn't help it, he thanked her again for coming. The _third_ time he'd done so.

"It was no trouble. We'll be off chasing down monsters and wrangling diplomats for a bit, but... I'll try to swing by again soon."

Elizabeth Shepard - the vaunted Hero of Elysium, one of the most-feared biotics in the galaxy - held her pace to sedate walk as she left Alenko's hospital room... even though she would have preferred to flee as if the very demons of Hell were chasing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of editing in this video; lots of tiny bits of added/bridging dialogue to make everything flow and fix little plot holes (as i perceive them) in ME3.
> 
> timeline:
> 
> ~ 10:00 after approximately 23 hrs of no contact, Shepard finally hears from Anderson. she tells him what's been going on and gives him information he doesn't realize he needs. Traynor tells her that she has a message from Miranda. she reads it before rushing through a (as per the new normal) interrupted shower.
> 
> ~ 10:30: _Normandy_ arrives at the Citadel. Shepard runs smack into Miranda, mostly because the latter woman put herself in Shepard's path.
> 
> ~ 11:00: quick run through Presidium shops to set up purchasing contracts as Steve requested. ends up talking to EDI and Joker and Liara, then to Barla Von.
> 
> ~ 12:00: (24 hours after Reapers hit Earth) Shepard heads to Bryson's lab because of Hackett's message; she will belatedly remember the email that she was sent, by Owen Bailey, about Reaper technology being found on the Citadel. Shepard hears that the Leviathan track-down is now their top priority. Noon is also when Shepard was supposed to meet Vega in Purgatory.
> 
> ~ 12:30: Shepard gets further de-railed by Bau, Kasumi, and the Hanar Ambassador. she's not a happy camper.
> 
> ~ 12:45: Huerta Hospital: Thane, Kaidan, and Opiates. Oh my.
> 
> i Googled about head injuries when i wondered how the timeline fit the story: Kaidan was injured approximately one day ago, yet apparently has scripted his own message to Shepard to tell her he's OK. from https://mayfieldclinic.com/pe-tbi.htm, the loss of consciousness of more than 6 hrs would result in severe traumatic brain injury, so it fits a reduced timeline that he wasn't unconscious that long. and yet, given the severity of the attack, it seems a bit of a mismatch. ah well.
> 
> perhaps the running joke will have to become that Kaidan Alenko has a Very. Hard. Head.
> 
> lastly, the video: https://youtu.be/S96NOhG31yY


	9. The Low Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar."
> 
> ~ Edward R. Murrow
> 
> Yet Another Bar Fight. sort of. to give James credit, he knew yesterday that he shouldn't hang around in a bar, and he didn't intend to. he's not designed for waiting and he definitely has, well, an issue with alcohol.

Vega had been in Purgatory for about fifteen minutes before he realized Shepard was going to be late. Granted, it was still only five after noon... but Eliza tended to be punctual when she cared about something. That ate at him. For her to be running late with no message (when they'd already pushed off an hour) meant Something Had Happened. His brain started to suggest possible reasons _awfully_ quickly. Huerta was at the top of his list.

His chron told James that it was 12:09 when the message came through.

_**SHEP: already running behind and Bryson's lab just got complicated. will be late. did you find Ken and Gabby?** _

_She's still at the lab. You're being ridiculous again, Vega._

He let her know that he hadn't seen their quarry, but that the other person Eliza had mentioned needing to talk to in Purgatory was, in fact, present... though not exactly in a good mood. James had spent enough time on Omega (drunk, maybe, but having been thrown out of Afterlife several times surely counted) to recognize Aria T'loak's voice.

Then Shepard mentioned waiting for C-Sec to arrive and begged off explaining what had happened, which-

**VEGA: EDI, are you still on the Citadel?**  
**_EDI: Yes, Lieutenant. Jeff and I remain on the Commons. He is ingesting something called a 'milk shake.' I find the appellation confusing, as shaking the substance did not appear to be part of its construction._ **

Vega snorted.

**VEGA: Commander Shepard is somewhere waiting for C-Sec to arrive. can you look into it? quietly?**  
**_EDI: Scanning. Yes, there has been a shooting in Dr. Bryson's laboratory. Should I take my mobile platform to her location and offer assistance?_ **

The desire to get the address and go himself was strong, but largely over-balanced by the image of Eliza's displeased face if they missed Daniels and Donnelly after tracking them down and issuing the invitation. _Dammit._

 **VEGA: sure, EDI. good idea.**  
**_EDI: I'll inform Lieutenant Moreau that he will need to return to the Normandy without me._**

_As if Joker didn't have reasons **enough** to love me._

\--

Purgatory was full of Alliance personnel trying to distract themselves for a bit before their ships rejoined the fighting. Several Marines had bought James his third beer before it occurred to him neither Shepard nor EDI had updated him on how things were going on the Presidium. It had been _over_ a half hour.

He nursed the beer and fretted, trying to retain enough presence of mind to keep up the light banter the soldiers seemed to want. They were in awe of Shepard, the _Normandy_ , and the fact that James worked with both.

_If you only knew._

Eventually his patience paid off: a man edged by him to get to the bar and requested ale (a 'pint', in matter of fact) in a vague Scottish accent, and the woman behind him corrected him by saying " _Two_ pints, Kenneth; were you born in a barn?"

_Gotcha._

Vega discretely brought his arm up in front of his chest and messaged Eliza that the engineers had arrived. He twiddled his fingers a few seconds before his omni-tool lit up with her reply:

**_SHEP: Spectre business. will be another half hour. if looks like they're leaving, talk to them without me, or ask them to wait_ **

_¡A poco, Lola?! ¡No mames!_

He was already typing his reply when one of the Marines slid him a fourth beer.

**VEGA: Lola, we can't afford to lose them. get your butt down here ASAP**

\--

The fourth beer was nearly gone. Donnelly and Daniels, at their table, were still nursing their first. And James realized he was getting concerned (sad? angry?) that Eliza wasn't here... because she was still at Huerta. That maybe... she'd lied.

Again.

Vega privately admitted that asking EDI to keep tabs on her, informing him how long she'd been parked at the hospital - staring out the windows - had been (maybe) wrong. In his defense, he'd been pretty worried about her reaction to Alenko getting hurt yesterday. Yet he hadn't asked anyone to track her down today; he'd trusted that when she made a date to meet him at a certain time... she'd BE here.

_So, of course, she isn't._

Vega was actively debating the pros and cons of going over to talk to the ex-Cerberus crew himself, when his omni-tool lit up again.

**_SHEP: still running around. they holding steady?_ **  
**VEGA: WHERE R U**  
**_SHEP: last bit of Spectre business. be there 15 or less_ **

James heaved an angry sigh, and actually set the timer on his omni-tool's chron. Of course, that only served to remind him that countdowns with _Commander Shepard_ were a hell of a lot less amusing than the ones he remembered having with _Lola_.

_¡A la chingada!_

The bartender pushed a shot glass forward and started tipping whiskey into it. Vega glanced to his left, and the female Marine grinned at him.

 _Well... can't be rude._

\--

James, gaze fixed on the entrance, noted her arrival twelve minutes later. She walked directly into Aria T'Loak's dust-up with Citadel Immigration. Vega palmed his shot glass and strolled past Ken and Gabby's table. As he approached Aria's location, the Turian standing guard opened his mandible to object; James fixed him with a stare and tapped his Lieutenant's bars. The guard shook his head and looked down at his omni-tool again. Vega leaned against the stairs that led to the dance floor, trying to be unobtrusive... and yet available. In case the Asari did something stupid.

He heard the Omega administrator have a lackey call the Asari Councillor, heard the latter woman treat Aria's request with far more immediacy and seriousness than she had ever treated one of Shepard's. He watched Aria greet Eliza, heard her wry reply, appreciated how stiff her frame was as she slid into the booth. From her body language, Shepard clearly didn't appreciate the conversation, but it seemed evident no fight was brewing. James drank his shot and strolled back toward the bar, purposefully situating himself not far from the engineers.

A minute later, Shepard stood up and walked toward him. He nodded his head to his left, retreating a bit further as the Commander engaged their quarry. She expertly steered the conversation around to making sure Donnelly and Daniels weren't with Cerberus any more, but Vega was amused when Gabriele did their work for them, practically begging to be allowed back on board, explicitly stating "Let us join you, Commander."

 _Figures. All this plotting, and they beat us to the punch._ James snorted in relief and returned to the bar. The boisterous Marines, who'd seen Shepard, crowded around him and pressed _another_ shot on him.

 _OK, Vega. You need to slow down. She's coming._

\--

James felt her behind him and pivoted to face her. "Hey, Shepard. Nice to see you down here in the dirt with us grunts." _Finally. I've been waiting for you for over an hour._

Even through a half-dozen drinks, James vaguely recognized the danger in the way Eliza reacted; she rocked back, her arms crossed defensively in front of her chest. But his mood, too, was edging toward pissed-off. It was a _relieved_ sort of angry, perhaps... but still angry.

"You think I don't like getting dirty?" Her tone was less than amused.

 _¿Qué tienes? **Mierda**._ "Whoah now - c'mon." Vega felt his anger slip a bit as his natural amusement at her bristling came to the fore. He bounced a bit. "I didn't mean anything by it, Lola."

"Uh Huh." She was _not_ appeased.

James decided to try to distract them both. "See those Marines over there? None of 'em officers. Just soldiers fightin' the war."

They both turned to look at the Alliance personnel at the end of the bar, listening as one of them whooped in response to something the other had said. Shepard turned back and eyed Vega suspiciously. "Yeah?"

"They've been buying me drinks."

"You?"

James ignored her dig and kept going. "Know why? Same reason they got all quiet and serious when _you_ walked in."

Her crossed arms gestured toward him mockingly. " _You_ don't seem intimidated by me in the least. In fact, you could _use_ a little more deference."

 _Any time, boss. I can do deference._ Vega shrugged and laughed. "Sure. But I've fought with you. I've seen you in action-" _so to speak_ "- now don't get me wrong, you're good. Probably one of the best-"

" **Probably?** ," she drawled, tilting her head again, in that way she had...

James couldn't resist. His eyes trailed down her street clothes suggestively. "And you fill out a uniform like nobody's business." He watched as her eyebrow came up. "But I know you're human, just like me." Her face softened, and James suspected they were both remembering the first days of their acquaintance.

She recovered quickly, gesturing to the other Marines. "But not them."

James shrugged. "Nope. To them, you're still larger than life."

Eliza's arms unwound and she seemed to shrink a bit. "Maybe I should expect it. There aren't a hell of a lot of people who've done what I have."

Vega gestured again. "And now they get to meet you in the flesh. You should buy 'em a round. It'll impress 'em." _It won't undo the awe; I still remember what that first day was like. But it's something._

"I like the way you think, Lieutenant."

James tried to hide a smile as he shouted down the bar. "Compadres! Hey! The Commander would like you to have a drink. On _her_." His brain was threatening to swamp him in memories of just how 'human' Eliza Shepard could be, and James interrupted that reverie by toasting the servicepeople. "Here's to us!"

One of the two soldiers responded immediately with a salute, calling out "Who's like us?" The other Marine _also_ saluted. Vega felt a moment of panic: did Shepard remember-

"Damn few. And they're all dead." She'd saluted. James threw up his hand as well, thinking _Idiota. She's seen a lot more death than you, Vega._

The Marines came forward, and one held out his hand. "It's an _honor_ to meet you, Commander."

He watched as Eliza used a few words to put the soldiers - who'd previously rambled on in near hero-worship for over an hour - at ease. They all drank. Well, he downed another shot, and Shepard sipped. James suddenly apprehended that... he might be a little drunk.

"Not bad, Lola. I was hoping you knew that one." _Maybe **more** than a little drunk? NOT smart._

"Thanks for the warning." Her voice was wry. "Can we get a table now? I need to catch you up."

\--

Of course, by the time they sat down, she seemed disinclined to tell him about her day. "Report, Lieutenant."

_Oh... **that's** a great sign._

Vega took a deep breath and wondered if he should have bought them something to eat; anything to put in his stomach to soak up the alcohol. "Well... the kids are sorted. Kahlee Sanders managed to arrange a sponsor, and the Citadel granted her request for temporary housing. The N7 operatives are also gone - the Alliance had arranged a transfer, and they boarded ship an hour ago. I had EDI run the ship's credentials; it was all legit. I'm assuming you'll hear from Hackett that they've rejoined the fleet soon. They were-" James thought about attempting to convey the depth of feeling one of the operatives had displayed upon disembarking, how he'd expressed his gratitude in poetic Spanish... but hesitated.

 _Not sure she's in the mood to hear it._ "-grateful for our help."

Shepard, still sipping her shot, nodded. She gestured for him to continue.

Vega sighed. He was clearly dealing with No-Nonsense Shepard... not Let's Relax and Get a Drink Together Date Shepard. _Dammit_. "Uh, I hired a Services Officer. A chef from the Wards, actually. I'd dropped some messages at a few places just after Palaven, and a couple of the people who responded didn't seem phased at joining the crew of a warship, cooking for humans _and_ Turians." James paused as a pleased smile lit up Eliza's face. His groin tightened. "I figured, you know, with Garrus and Victus on board..."

"Yes." Shepard's smile dimmed slightly, but still- it was the most approval he'd had from her in quite a while. "It was good thinking. Thank you. Is he on board already?"

James swallowed and shifted in his chair. "It's a 'she', actually. I believe so. I had informed her that we planned to disembark by 14:00." He shrugged. "Of course that was before you ended up with so many additional meetings here." He paused, and then jumped in with both feet. "How did all that go, by the way?"

Shepard waved him off. "In a minute. Go ahead and finish." She raised a hand in a familiar summoning gesture, and an Asari dancer passing by their table paused, cocked her head, and strolled over.

"Did you... _want_ something, human?" She stared at Eliza speculatively before shifting her gaze to James. Her eyes narrowed. Vega wondered if his... condition... somehow showed on his face.

"Perhaps. I'm Commander Shepard and this is my Executive Officer, Lieutenant Vega. I was wondering if a bunch of credits could get us some food, or if we needed to go elsewhere."

The Asari shrugged. "They have a few things at the bar. I'm not a waitress, but if you give me your chit, I could take care of it." She paused, and her gaze became frankly assessing. "It wouldn't be a bad thing, having one of Aria T'Loak's friends... owe me a favor."

Eliza straight-up laughed. "I don't know if I'd call us _friends_ , but I take your meaning." She pulled a chit from inside her leather jacket and extended it. "There's four hundred. If you have someone bring the food over, the rest is yours."

The dancer took the chit and nodded slowly. "Ryla T'Mera. I'll be right back."

Vega KNEW he was more drunk than he'd realized when the dancer walked off and he couldn't stop himself from expelling a loud breath and saying " _Dios_. For a second I _actually_ thought you were buying us a prostitute."

Shepard arched a brow at him again, and he felt himself react. "Evidently, so did she. Continue."

James struggled to find his place in the conversation. _Kids... N7 guys... cook..._ He blinked and remembered, feeling like an idiot. _Oh, Victus_. He tried very hard not to let his dismay show on his face. "The Primarch informed me of his intention to meet with the Turian Ambassador, so I gather he did that. I _do_ know that very soon after I got to the Commons, a news clip about the Summit started playing. I assumed that meant the Council had given their, uh, blessing."

Shepard nodded absently. "I heard the same clip."

"More importantly, Victus contacted me just before you got here, and he's back on board the _Normandy_." James met Eliza's surprised glance with a slow nod. _Neither_ of them had been certain the Primarch would choose to wait for the Summit on board a ship that was continually dashing into danger, when he could just as easily wait in comfort on the Citadel. Now they knew.

"He understands that we-" Shepard stopped and sighed. "Well, we have a few more places to go, now."

Vega nodded. "I gathered. Perhaps it isn't a bad thing we've gotten a reprieve then... timing-wise. His message also informed me that the salarians are dragging their feet; they won't be ready to meet for a few days. _Or_ -" Vega shrugged, "-something Victus said or did today set things back a bit. I doubt he would tell me if that were the case." He paused as the dancer strutted back up to their table with two dishes of food, one in each hand.

Eliza smiled brilliantly at the woman, and the Asari nearly dropped one of the plates. "Thank you, Ryla. We appreciate your kindness. The last time I ate was two missions ago."

The dancer's eyes widened slightly. "Biotics shouldn't go so long without food, Commander."

James couldn't seem to stop it; he snorted loudly. " **THANK** YOU." _OK, that was- Don't drink any more._

He pointedly ignored Shepard's irritated look as he dug into the food. _Let's get some of that alcohol absorbed._ "Now you - what took so long today?"

Eliza was slowly chewing her mystery sandwich. She gestured with it. "Well-" her voice dropped to a point where there was little chance she'd be overheard; _James_ could barely hear her. "The... _incident_ in Bryson's lab was Bryson's assistant shooting him dead, right in front of me."

Vega jerked in surprise and nearly choked on his grilled- well, he wasn't sure what it was. "What the hell happened?"

Shepard waved a hand, signaling James' volume was far more elevated than she was comfortable with. "That's the thing: the assistant sort of... _woke up_ after, as if..." She met his eyes steadily, "... as if he didn't remember doing it."

Vega felt his jaw drop. He closed his eyes and mouth at the same time, shaking his head slowly. " _Puta madre_."

"Exactly what I thought. But, well, here we are. And Hackett has ordered us to go check out the researcher's last known coordinates... which EDI and I determined."

James opened his eyes. Eliza was chewing again, and he waited a bit before his next question, glad she was actually eating. "So that was C-Sec's involvement. What else? What was the Spectre involvement?"

She swallowed. "First, I was already delayed by setting up all those purchasing contracts; it took a hell of a lot more time than I realized it would. And I unexpectedly stumbled onto our-" her voice dropped again, "-AI, cruising the Commons as if she'd had her own synthetic body for _years_ , rather than _hours_."

 _Ah. Ooops._ "Yeah, uh-" Vega felt flushed. "- Joker MAY have mentioned he was going to bring EDI with him, in case he got tired while walking around. I didn't, uh, see any harm in it. But I should have told you."

Eliza waved him off. "No, it's fine. For all his faults, Jeff is careful with tech. And he's had the most contact with EDI. If he actually believed there was any danger, I'm pretty sure he'd have told me by now." Shepard sighed, and considered her empty plate. "I have to learn to trust him again. Especially if he's going to continue covering for you during away missions." She met Vega's gaze.

James exchanged their plates: his remaining grilled mystery entree for her empty one. Eliza gave him a skeptical look. "What? Not the first time we've shared food. Eat it."

Shepard snickered and picked up the fork he'd used. "Anything else you remember having missed telling me?"

James pondered her wording. He strongly suspected she was deflecting, purposefully putting her own evasion onto him. "Nothing jumps out." _How far to push? I wish I'd stopped after three beers._ "Spectre business?"

Another bite. Slow chewing. "The Hanar Ambassador was also indoctrinated." Her voice had fallen to that near-whisper again.

" _¡No chingues! No mames!"_ Vega wouldn't have called the Spanish back if he could... though he _might_ have modulated his volume. "What the **fuck** , Lola - **seriously**?"

Eliza nodded solemnly, carefully working her way through his plate. She swallowed and said "Not a word, though. He's- it's been taken care of." She sighed again. "I'm probably going to have to fill out a bunch of paperwork later, but the immediate danger has passed. And Bau - the other Spectre, the one who pulled me in to help - will take care of most of the fall-out."

James slowly shook his head, pondering the extent of the potential problems if the Reapers actually got a foothold on the Citadel. The outlook wasn't pretty. He watched as Shepard finished his food. _Good. Now..._

"Was that all?"

She downed the last of her shot. "Well, you saw I dealt with Aria. She wants me to wrangle the leaders of the Blue Suns, Eclipse, and the Blood Pack, here on the Citadel." Eliza sniffed, a look of distaste crossing her delicate face. "As if I hadn't _expressly avoided_ dealing with them on Earth all these months, _on purpose_."

_What. About. The. HOSPITAL?_

"Are you going to do it?" James schooled his features not to show his impatience.

"Almost certainly." Eliza rubbed her temples, and James felt a bit of remorse about questioning her so insistently... but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being continuously diverted.

"I'm pretty sure that Aria _knows_ what I did on Earth; she NEVER would have approached me with this scheme if she didn't."

Vega clenched his jaw. "So _that's_ all, then?"

The Commander shrugged. "Aria apparently has 'other business' she's going to want help with, later. She wouldn't say what it is." Shepard snorted. "Probably wants to see if I'm willing to get my hands dirty, first." Her face contorted, " **More** dirty. She glanced at James and grinned "Everybody sitting around in Purgatory, thinking I'm not willing to sin if I have to."

The wide smile and banter broke James; he realized he couldn't take it any more. "Did you go to the hospital?"

It seemed to him that Eliza suddenly wouldn't - quite - meet his eyes. Or was he imagining it? "Yes, just before I got here. For a couple minutes. Though I wish I'd gone sooner because I ran smack into Udina pressuring Kaidan to become a Spectre."

James jerked in shock. _Betray your Commander, get promoted to Major AND become a Council Spectre? That guy could fall into **pigshit** and come up with two handfulls of gold._

"That's... wow."

Shepard's jaw clenched. "I know."

Vega shook his head slowly, pondering it. "I mean... he testified against you and got promoted. What the hell did he have to do to get chosen to become a Spectre?"

James realized he wasn't paying strict attention, and that he'd missed Eliza's exact reaction to what he was saying WHILE he said it, but when the silence lengthened, he met her eyes and saw... _She's... angry. Why is she angry at **me**?_

Her voice was dangerously quiet when she grated out "You don't think over a decade of service, heading up PsyOps, and then nearly _dying_ on Mars might have proved he was worth their consideration for Spectre?"

_WHOAH. She's... ¡Puta madre!_

"WHY are you _defending_ him? This is the same man who _left you to rot_ in that cell, and when he DID finally show up, was messing with your biotics - or whatever - so badly that you _relapsed_ into more fucking _panic attacks_ -"

Eliza's mouth gaped. "Lower your goddamn voice," she hissed, looking around. "Look, I _get_ it - you're upset I was late, and upset I was checking on Kaidan, but nothing that happened changes the fact that he's an amazing soldier, he's served with distinction-"

" _¡Qué mierda_ , Lola!" James, too, glanced around the bar, aware that his tipsy suspicion had turned into loud drunk anger, but having a difficult time curbing it. "I'm **upset** that he fucking **LEFT you there** , then showed up only to try using **Reave** on you, and nearly got us **all killed** -"

"LIEUTENANT." Shepard's voice also got _loud_ , and part of Vega really wished he had it in him to respond to that tone by shutting up... but he also recognized that the alcohol had merely loosed a gag that had been in place _far_ too long. That same part of James ruefully admitted that _of course_ it was jealousy eating at him, and yet... he couldn't seem to stop himself. He almost didn't recognize the tone of his voice when he spoke again.

"I will **never** understand your relationship with him. He snipes at you the entire damn time we're on Mars. He messes with your energy field _constantly_ \- Tom TOLD me he does - and you _don't_ hold it against him? He does the SAME damn thing to you that your foster-brother did, and you just **excuse** it? HOW the hell did that work when you were _together_? You're like a succubus and an incubus: that didn't get dangerous? You didn't _drain_ each other too far-"

James couldn't remember ever having _seen_ someone actually 'explode in anger'... but Shepard came close. He'd also never been this close to her and watched her suddenly glow blue... without an actual enemy present. He swallowed as the thought occurred to him: _Or, uh, am *I* the enemy?_

"WE'RE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE, JAMES," Shepard growled loudly. Vega shut his mouth. "I _don't_ excuse anything he did - what he did that week was _stupid_ , and he _knows that_. He asked for my opinion on his taking the Spectre position. I brought him a bottle of whiskey and told him to get well. We didn't talk about anything _else_ , and I have _no idea_ what he's thinking or feeling." Eliza's jaw clenched hard. She managed to dim the glow of an imminent biotic attack and lower her voice, but her eyes were still blazing with green fire. "I think he _assumes_ you and I were... _together_ , at one point, but **you and I** know differently. Still, I'm NOT inside his head, for God's sake. SO GET OFF MY BACK about him!"

Eliza stood up and turned, ready to storm off, and James was a fraction of a second away from blaming the alcohol and _begging_ for her forgiveness, when she swung back. " **But BY THE WAY** , if I _wanted_ to sleep with him, I fucking **would**. At _least_ I could do it now without someone of higher rank reprimanding me for taking advantage of someone of _lower_ rank."

And she was gone.

Vega - feeling like a wad of chewing gum left under one of Purgatory's chairs - looked to his left and saw Aria's frankly amused stare, on _him_.

_Estás zafado, Vega. Estás loco. Qué mierda..._

\--

After ten seconds - or so - James managed to pry himself out of the chair. He felt... pummeled, and wondered if she _had_ drained some of his energy away, or if it was only in his head. And gut, because the alcohol wasn't sitting right. Even with - especially with? - the addition of food. And it was his own damn fault for mixing four large beers and two strong shots of whiskey in just under an hour.

The guilt, however, wasn't imaginary. James knew that this was a conversation that should have happened in private, and _sober_. But he also recognized that it probably wouldn't have happened at **all** \- seeing as it had taken _six months_ (and six servings of alcohol) to pull it out into the open - if he hadn't just finally let fly.

 _I need to apologize. And I KNEW **yesterday** that coming here was a bad idea._ Vega made a mental note that if _anything_ else had to be retrieved from Purgatory, a different crew member was doing it.

\--

Vega took rapid transit back to Docking Bay 24. He kept his eyes closed during the ride, quietly pondering whether or not he was going to throw up... and where he'd be when it likely happened. Generally, he was pretty proud of his ability to function while inordinately hammered, but this time - even as his legs kept up forward motion - his stomach was in full revolt.

 _Just... get on board. That's the first step._ He made it through the airlock, responded to the Marine's salute, and sharply pivoted to head into the CIC-

"VEGA!" Joker's voice echoed loudly through the Bridge and out into the hallway.

 _Chinga tu madre, Joker. Not now._ James sighed, considered, then **ordered** his stomach to belay its insurrection. He turned back toward the pilot. "What do you want?"

Jeff had come out of his flight chair, and was peering at Vega's face. "I _wanted_ to jerk your chain for stealing my assistance mech, but now I think I'd better acquaint you with one of the CIC's better-held secrets." James lurched, the slightest bit; he could feel the pilot flinch away. "Don't _actually_ lean on me, huh? You're heavy and I'm breakable."

Joker did something to the wall opposite the airlock, and the central panel retracted, revealing a _extremely_ primitive toilet and wash basin, concealed in a meter-square space. "Never got finished, obviously, so it's little more than a pot to piss in, but if you're really about to throw up..."

"I am. Excuse me, Joker." Vega swung around, went to his knees, and emptied seventy grams of alcohol into the tiny toilet. He vaguely heard Joker saying something, probably making mock, but it was EDI's voice that cut through his misery.

"Jeff, should one of us notify Dr. Chakwas? The Lieutenant evidently consumed enough alcohol to cause him to malfunction."

Vega tried not to finish retching _and_ laugh at the same time. _Messy business, that._

"No, EDI. I'm sure he'll be fine, now. _Good thing_ he's not _back on duty_ for another twenty minutes, though."

James sat back on his heels and hit the button that flushed the bowl. "Point taken, Joker. Thanks for the assist." 

"No problem." Joker glanced pointedly toward the airlock. "Should I assume Shepard will be her usual joyful self when she comes home... or did your poor decision-making carry over?"

Vega pushed hard with his quad muscles and rose painfully to his feet. His abs were killing him. "The latter, unfortunately."

Jeff let out an annoyed breath. "You kids _have_ to get it together."

James sighed as he turned to leave. " _No son enchiladas, cabrón. Dime algo que no sepa."_

Joker's voice floated after him: "And that meant _what_ , exactly?"

Vega, limping toward the CIC, held his aching gut as EDI's calm response nearly undid him. "He called you a bastard, Jeff, and suggested that if you found it easy to manage Shepard, you should instruct him as to your method."

\--

**VEGA: i wanted to apologize in person, Commander. i've waited a half hour and you still haven't come back. is everything OK?**

James waited, nervously picking at his fingernails like an ensign, wondering if she'd deign to answer him. He needn't have worried; her response came not ten seconds later.

 _ **SHEP: Aria request involved WAY more running around than i expected then ran into Garrus dealing with Turian refugees.**_  
_**SHEP: btw, the Citadel is already taking in Turian refugees.**_

Vega flinched. _And it's only the beginning._

 **VEGA: that's... good to know. but uncomfortable to hear**  
_**SHEP: indeed**_  
_**SHEP: i'll be back aboard in ten. i just saw Cortez made it over. gonna go check on him**_

Vega pondered her last message and sighed. He remembered how Esteban had doggedly pursued him through July and August, as he mourned the sudden loss of Shepard, and was certainly glad that Eliza was taking the pilot's mental health seriously. 

_She obviously cares about **all** of us. I **know** she cares about me. She's **said** as much._

Vega closed his eyes and rested his head against the sand-filled punching bag.

_Why isn't it **enough**?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) recruiting Ken and Gabby in Purgatory is a mod made from original cut content. EGM's priority appears to mess with it a bit: IF you have both mods installed, and you interact with the Spectre terminal first (authorize pardons) K&G won't show up in the bar. look closely and you'll see the video content animation was never finished; their hands are holding phantom glasses.
> 
> (2) the editing of the Shepard/Vega bar interaction is a bit choppy. i played with it for quite a while (not as long as the nightmare, but-) i couldn't find dialogue to replace what i needed replaced. i'm a bit concerned that by the end of this play-through process, i'm going to know the entire series' dialogue pretty much back to front. btw, the canon Vega doesn't say "Shepard" when she walks up to him, but "Commander." there will likely be a lot of instances where i sub in "Shepard" or "Lola" for "Commander" going forward.
> 
> (3) hiring a Ship's Services Officer is ALSO courtesy of EGM (in this case, a chef of Japanese descent who leaves sushi scattered all over the Crew Deck).
> 
> (4) you're getting (carefully-chosen) alternating POV now, and that can make it easier to understand/excuse poor behavior, but this is where the _author_ would like to note that no one has to accept a drunk person yelling at them, no matter what relationship there is between them. i've romanticized the character of James Vega quite a bit, but keeping him canon means retaining his faults (for now; here's hoping he grows up a little more). and you also never have to accept people lying (or withholding potentially important information) in a romantic relationship context, either. good thing for Shepard that they don't really HAVE that sort of relationship yet, right?
> 
> (5) on the subject of potential alcoholism, lest you think i'm pushing the angle too far, i want to make plain that my bigger fear was actually pulling that character flaw back too abruptly. the Citadel DLC makes it clear that Vega may have a problem; there are also little hints all through the canon dialogue, such as Cortez asking him "Or is that just the cervaza talking?", his own reference to "get me really drunk", as well as the backstory information about Omega. **because** i wanted James to (eventually) get his shit together and be a decent partner, i've written him as **aware** that he may have a problem, which is the first step.
> 
> in case you (like me) were curious as to what the hell "cervaza" means: https://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/travel/resourceful_traveler/mexican-beer-rundown.shtml
> 
> https://www.wikihow.com/Calculate-Blood-Alcohol-Content-(Widmark-Formula)
> 
> BAC = [alcohol consumed in grams / (body weight in grams x r)] x 100. for males, r = 0.68. in the US currently, the # of grams of alcohol in a standard drink is 14. we're going to say that Purgatory is serving decent alcohol, given it's position/reputation on the Citadel, and the drinks are slightly larger than our current US Standard at 15 g per drink. this also makes the math easier, with Vega having consumed 90g of alcohol in under an hour. but i have his weight likely being around 125 kilos (275 lbs) because he has an insane amount of muscle. that's 125000 grams body weight.
> 
> [(90g of alcohol/(125,000g x 0.68) x 100] = 0.106. this is legally-intoxicated in modern legal US terms, enough to impair judgment and some motor function. for someone used to drinking with a high metabolism/muscle tissue, some of that alcohol will have been already digested, making this number slightly lower.
> 
> https://dotedon.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/bac-chart.jpg
> 
> and yes. i really am this much a math geek when i get my teeth into something.
> 
> (6) no, there's no bathroom (even with EGM) across from the airlock. BUT THERE SHOULD BE. WHAT THE HELL, ANIMATORS? everyone's supposed to run for the elevator every time they have to pee? WHAT ABOUT IN THE WAR ROOM? DO WE MAKE DIPLOMATS USE THE CREW LAVATORY?
> 
> (7) lastly, i didn't translate all the Spanish in this one. it's mostly swearing, and if you struggled through _The Null Room_ , you probably got the gist.
> 
> "No son enchiladas, cabrón - dime algo que no sepa." ~ "It's not that easy, jerk. Tell me something I don't know."
> 
> timeline/video: https://youtu.be/OmV_2Xf-2OQ 
> 
> ~ 12:45: Shepard is at Huerta Hospital, sees Thane and Kaidan.  
> ~ 13:00: Shepard finally gets to Purgatory, deals with Aria  
> ~ 13:05: Shepard is over an hour late to meet James. recruits Ken and Gabby and has a (verbal) knock-down with her XO in the bar (James and bar fights, man).  
> ~14:30: Shepard trying to track down Aria's gang contacts. meets with Garrus and realizes there are already a bunch of Turian refugees  
> ~ 15:00: sees Cortez; they chat right before she goes back aboard


	10. Retreating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He who advances without seeking fame,  
> Who retreats without escaping blame,  
> He whose one aim is to protect his people and serve his lord,  
> The man is a jewel of the Realm.”
> 
> ~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
> 
> We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction. 
> 
> ~ Douglas MacArthur
> 
> facing inner demons, Banshees, Ravagers, and _desire_... with liberal applications of medigel.

Shepard wanted to wring MANY necks during Aria's scavenger hunt through the Citadel... not the least of which was her XO's. And yet she couldn't stop thinking about what James had said.

_He messes with your energy field constantly. Tom TOLD me he does. HOW the hell did that work when you were together? You're like a succubus and an incubus. You didn't **drain** each other too far?_

Eliza winced, remembering. _Did we? Did I... **doom** our relationship by looking at Alenko as a 'biotic resource', sensing he was capable of Reaving, and teaching it to him in the first place?_ She flinched even harder as she recalled what she'd yelled _back_ at Vega.

_We're not TOGETHER anymore, James. We didn't talk about anything else. I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. GET OFF my back about him..._

**_Liar._** Shepard pulled up in the corridor just outside the hotel room where Aria swore the leader of the Blood Pack _wanted_ to join the team. She softly knocked her head into the wall.

_And did I **really** have to yell "if I wanted to sleep with him, I **would** "? Like that possible occurrence isn't the actual issue. What the absolute **fuck** , Eliza? Were you trying to shove him away for REAL this time?_

\--

In addition, Shepard's brain was full of conflicting impulses regarding their itinerary. Ever since she'd stumbled upon the Councillor haranguing Kaidan, she'd been pondering indulging his request for her to visit Bekenstein. She thought about asking Diana Allers about it. It just seemed like such a _monumental waste_ of even an hour and a half to divert to Boltzmann, shake hands and make nice with a colony that had money, media access... and _no_ military sense.

_But... it **might** be worth it - if they coughed up resources for the Crucible. And if it made Udina less... **Udina-ish**._

Back in the corridor of the Presidium apartments - after her interesting encounter with the first batarian in possibly _ever_ who actually seemed to _like_ her - Shepard messaged Joker.

**SHEP: need you to contact Bekenstein and inform them Normandy can swing by at 16:30 MST for a SHORT visit. if that's not convenient, send our apologies for missing them**  
**_JJM: can do. but shouldn't that go through your XO? or is there a PROBLEM with your XO?_ **  
**SHEP: dammit, Joker, WTF do you know?**  
**_JJM: only that he stumbled aboard and promptly threw up in the airlock. EDI reported he spent five minutes showering, then went down to the Shuttle Bay and began beating the SHIT out of that bag he made._ **

Shepard winced. _Great. Just... great_.

**SHEP: send the damn message**  
**_JJM: on it_ **

\--

It was with some relief that Eliza read Vega's text message as she climbed into the elevator from the Holding Docks to travel back to Bay 24.

_OK, I didn't hear anything because he wanted to apologize face to face. That's... better._

She messaged him back as the doors opened on Normandy's dock, letting him know about Garrus and the refugees. She refrained from asking him if he was feeling any better.

_He can damn well admit to me himself that the drinking didn't go well._

What confused Shepard no end was that, well, she'd _lived_ with him, for God's sake. For _weeks_. There'd been alcohol, sure, but no drinking to incapacitation. No violence.

 _Except that one night, with Alvarez. And... after he read Alenko's testimony._ She frowned. _And - if Osorio is right - after we left..._

Eliza wondered if she was going to have to do something _official_ about it. Soldiers drank; it was what they did. It only became an issue when it interfered with duty. In addition to his personnel file, she'd read his _disciplinary_ records and felt - objectively - he was improving. She suspected Anderson had talked to him over the summer. And there'd been no physical altercation _today_.

_No thanks to **me**. Truth be told, maybe I would have **preferred** a physical altercation. And *I* was the one who almost started one. Jesus._

Even now, the after-effects from the null room - instances where her energy field felt... _completely_ outside her control - left her shaken.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw someone she recognized, leaning against the railing outside Normandy's docking bay.

_Hey, some GOOD news for a change._

She texted James, letting him know that she'd be delayed one more time.

\--

Garrus was the last crew-member to scoot back aboard. He still looked troubled when he passed by Shepard on his way to the elevator, so she simply nodded and continued reading through messages. Hackett had forwarded a communique' from Kahlee Sanders, confirming everything James had told her. The Admiral had also emailed her separately about the N7 soldiers having reached their destinations.

She'd gotten some food and gone back to her cabin, where she passed the time filling out the Spectre documentation she'd anticipated and reading through a bunch of reports: all activities designed to give Vega plenty of time alone in the Shuttle Bay. Eventually it couldn't be delayed any longer; she really needed to clean up and don her dress uniform, lest someone at Bekenstein be offended, and her plan to mollify Udina veer completely off the rails.

**SHEP: handing over the reins**  
_**VEGA: if you have a minute, i'd like to meet up** _  
**SHEP: i accept your apology - you don't have to give it in person. i got a little hot under the collar too.**  
_**VEGA: would make me feel better. meet you in front of your quarters in 5?** _

Eliza sighed. Better to get it over with. And he was right. They should talk, and not in front of the crew. _Should **talk** , sure. But should we ever be **alone** again? Probably not._

**SHEP: fine. see you in 5**

\--

Eliza had heard the term 'hang-dog' used before, but the officer who showed up a few minutes later really fit the description. He was, however, freshly showered, shaved, and in a uniform. She found herself unwittingly impressed that he'd showered twice AND gotten in a workout, while all she'd done was sit at her desk for an hour.

_I really need more training time. Especially given what nearly happened today. Today could have gone **very** wrong. I wonder if Liara would be willing to work with me during one of the long FTL trips?_

He spoke first. "Lola, I'm sorry. I was **way** out of line."

"You were. But you weren't the one who drew a weapon this time." She met his eyes. "Charging my biotic field was inexcusable; I apologize for that."

Vega shrugged. "That was what you meant in the Null Room, no? About your control? It's still affecting you."

Shepard sighed. "Only when I get _really_ tired, or _really_ triggered." She cracked a tiny smile. "Kane worked with me quite a bit while I was in New York. He _also_ tends to be a button-pusher, and he didn't want to have to be on guard every time we met up." She shook her head slightly. "A few more times, in Atlanta and Los Angeles, but the gangs tend to see it as a natural show of dominance... not evidence of a complete lack of control."

James nodded thoughtfully. Then he looked away and shifted his feet. "I'm sorry for the alcohol as well."

Eliza arched a brow at him. "You mean running back here to throw up?" She snorted as he jerked in surprise, "Joker ratted you out."

He looked past her head, perhaps at the fish tank. "I usually handle it better."

Shepard nodded slowly, and then quietly added "I know the feeling."

Their eyes met and she felt something pass between them; an awareness that they were both fighting demons, occasionally failing, and standing up to battle another day. She caught herself about to repeat 'feel like we cleared the air?' and _WINCED_. She cleared her throat, instead.

"I should get ready for Bekenstein." When he didn't say anything, she turned to go back into her cabin.

A hand darted out and closed on her shoulder. The grip wasn't crushing, but it was stronger than she'd anticipated, and it called up so many tactile memories that she shut her eyes. "James..."

"Wait. Please. One more minute. I'm not done." He pulled, very slightly; she swung back around, opening her eyes again. He let go. "I shouldn't have brought up Alenko. Whatever is there between you-" he paused, clearly troubled, but he pressed on, "- it's none of my business unless you want it to be. I knew that, months ago. I'm just finding it hard to deal with... now that he's back in the picture."

Eliza flinched, waiting. There was clearly more.

"I _want_ you to feel like you can talk to me about it. The fact that sometimes it seems like you're _hiding_ stuff from me is always the worst part. But I also don't want you to feel like you _have_ to tell me or I won't trust you." His eyes met and held hers. "I trust you no matter what."

_Just be calm. It's got to be nearly over._

"I really do understand that talking about him has to be your choice. I'm sorry I pushed, especially in public. I'm sorry I basically _shoved_ you into defending him. He's a good soldier, sure." Vega looked disgruntled. "Hell, he saved _my_ life, remember?"

Eliza nodded, something niggling at the back of her mind.

James looked down at the floor. "So, yeah. I do wish we could just talk about it, but that was the wrong place, wrong time, wrong... _liquids_." He looked up and grinned when she couldn't stop a snort from escaping.

"I'm gonna go grab some food. Been hearing from the crew that they're pretty happy with Keiko. So at least I did _one_ thing right today."

Eliza allowed herself a genuine smile. "You did." She held up a hand in a clear 'wait' gesture, walked to her desk, grabbed her empty plate, and brought it back out to him. She handed it over sheepishly. "Could you take this back down for me?"

A brilliant, boyish smile spread over his face as he took the plate. "Yeah. I can do that, Lola."

\--

She was in the shower when the niggling memory finally resolved... into a phrase from one of Liara's emails. When she got out of the bathroom, she stopped at the desk and combed through her old messages until she found it.

**If you expect either of them to say 'I'm sorry I didn't trust you, and sorry my decisions made you question whether I cared for you,' I believe you will be disappointed. If you do ever hear something like that from Lieutenant Vega, I'll revisit my reservations.**

_Dios._

\--

Bekenstein was a bust. Shepard hadn't expected much going in, but to be treated like a respected military leader to her face - and looked at askance behind her back - was seriously annoying. It was almost as if giant sentient machines hadn't attacked Earth yesterday.

"But they won't bother attacking _us_ , Commander. Not unless we _take sides_ , and appear to be supporting the Alliance. Our people believe that if we turn production toward the war effort we will almost _certainly_ draw the Reapers' attention."

Shepard snorted as she remembered the colony's president claiming that his people were too afraid to support Earth; all these human colonists, caught in the delusion that the Reapers would _only_ destroy them if they fought.

_Perhaps they missed the whole Collector thing._

The President _was_ willing to offer industrial support on the sly, discrediting the Reaper invasion as a true threat to Bekenstein. _Or_ , since Shepard hadn't exactly looked on _that_ favorably, if the Alliance could _guarantee_ the colony's security...

She could guarantee no such thing. Commander Shepard had just watched **Earth** get decimated, proving NO where was safe. It was small comfort that Udina's people had seemed to agree.

There was even _less comfort_ to be found after she grabbed some sleep, woke up, and checked her messages; she'd been expecting to find a missive from Udina thanking her for at least _going_ to Bekenstein... but the email, instead, was vituperative. Scolding. Udina claimed she'd botched the entire thing.

_Puta madre._

\--

Ilos turned out to be no better. When EDI's chime awakened her, Shepard dragged herself out from under another nightmare, ate a protein bar, and geared up... for no fight whatsoever. Instead, she ended up helping her people clean up a horrible Cerberus mess. Not that - after Grissom - her stance on the organization would _ever_ soften, but what she saw on Ilos... 

_The Illusive Man is a dead man walking. He just doesn't know it yet._

Waking up in Medbay was something she could have skipped, especially with Vega hovering over her worriedly... and Javik's hands on her scalp. If their positions had been _reversed_ \- with the Prothean hovering and the human rubbing her forehead - that would have been more palatable, but-

_Still would have sucked. Just... less. What the hell happened?_

She suddenly remembered. "That was another beacon, wasn't it?"

All of Javik's eyes blinked. "Yes, Commander. I see what you meant when you said you were lucky the first one didn't kill you. I have sorted the sense impressions in your mind, constructed a better memory of the signal for you. Your recall should feel normal now."

Eliza did, in fact, feel 'normal.' Perhaps more normal than she'd been in a while. While it hadn't been her first choice, having someone well-versed in the Prothean language work on her mind might have actually helped her come out ahead in this one.

"Appreciate it, Javik. It's probably getting a bit messy in there." She struggled to sit up.

"Yes, Commander." The Prothean turned away and Shepard could have sworn she heard him mutter "It is."

James helped pull her upright on the biobed. "You scared the _shit_ out me, Lola. Don't do that again, _comprede?_ "

Eliza snorted. "Sure. I mean... how many of those damn beacons could possibly be _left_?"

\--

Shepard encouraged James to grab some more sleep while he could, as she guided the ship toward the system they'd pin-pointed in Bryson's lab. She'd asked Javik if he was willing to be part of the landing party that investigated the entity, and the alien had agreed. 

She also contacted Garrus.

There was a bit of excitement when _Normandy_ scanned the Balor system and attracted the attention of three large Reaper ships that chased them until they entered FTL. Eliza's chief worry during the pursuit was that Joker was developing a taste for it. And, of course, the voice call from Primarch Victus, wherein he dryly inquired if they intended to make dancing with Reapers a daily habit.

_Perhaps, Primarch. Perhaps._

The flight to Aysur was long. Shepard considered, but ultimately discarded, asking Liara to work with her. The Shadow Broker was no doubt busy. Shepard also considered the fact that her new Prothean benefactor was _also_ a biotic, and she debated asking Javik to help her train... before likewise dismissing the possibility. 

_I can just imagine the commentary... 'Commander, not an hour ago I was expending my energy to fix your primitive brain. Now you ask me to expend **more** of my energy to **damage** it? Make up your **mind**.'_

Instead she finished the ship paperwork, and indulged in a more physical workout: utilizing Vega's weights, the bag, and even the new shooting range.

\--

She was re-checking the weapons she'd used on the range, thinking about retrieving her armor, when her XO walked into the Shuttle Bay.

"Shepard." Vega side-stepped her and approached the Armory bench.

She followed him over to his workstation. " _You_ are supposed to be _asleep_."

James finished skimming the ship's log, and walked around her once more. He opened the locker and began pulling out her armor. "I appear to be awake."

"I already asked Garrus and Javik to go down to the asteroid with me."

He stopped checking her breastplate long enough to look her in the eye. "Lola, I told them to draw straws as to who had to come with us, and Javik lost. But he won't be here for another ten minutes since he's _always wearing_ his kit." Vega tossed the mottled dark green breastplate at her. "This looks fine."

_What the hell do I do about this? This is-_

Suddenly, her omni-tool let out a tiny notification chirrup. She glanced at it, scowled, and hit the button that answered it. "Yes, Garrus?"

"Shepard." The purring voice was unusually raspy. "I, uh," the Turian paused to none-too-convincingly _cough_ into his microphone, "I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe all the dust coming off the damn cannon. The babysitter-"

Next to her, James loudly cleared his throat.

"-er, _Lieutenant Vega_ said that he'd be happy to cover for me, so..." Garrus paused, clearly caught between the 'rock' of James Vega and the 'hard place' of Commander Shepard, "... I figured, y'know, that'd be... good." He wound down into the most uncomfortable silence Eliza had ever heard.

"We'll talk about this _later_ , Garrus."

There was another pause, and then the Turian's voice echoed off her arm once more. "Oh... _great_. Vakarion out."

She turned to look at James, who - to his credit - was still inspecting her armor. Not crowing over his win, not smirking... but quietly doing the job he could have easily assigned to an enlisted man.

"You do realize this is technically insubordination?"

"What, _waking up_?" He pivoted toward her with the rest of her armor in his hands, as the elevator door hissed open, and Javik walked in.

Eliza ground her teeth. And started to pull on her armor. _This is not worth a fight. Not right now. Not again._

\--

"We're about five minutes out, Commander."

Eliza always admired how cool Cortez was on approach, as if those ten minutes were truly his entire purpose in life. "What exactly's on this asteroid?"

"Mining facility. T-GES Mineral Works. Small operation. Could be a good place for Leviathan to hide."

Shepard sighed and turned back to her team. "We've all read EDI's notes on Bryson's lab. Any questions?"

James got up out of the jump seat. "Any more intel on what this Leviathan could have been?"

Eliza snorted quietly in frustration. _I wish_. "Not really. We only know it killed a Reaper."

Javik, too, seemed matter-of-fact when he opined "But it is this Garneau human - Bryson's partner - we must locate."

 _So they both read the file. Good._ "Right. We find Garneau, we find Leviathan."

Javik all but nodded. It was disconcerting how fast the alien had picked up human language and mannerisms. "Understood."

Placated that her (jury-rigged) team knew their objective, she addressed Cortez again. "The doctor was right. Anything powerful enough to kill a Reaper has to be investigated. Just hope Garneau has the answers we need."

The shuttle dashboard sounded a proximity alert. Cortez lost his calm and easy demeanor. "I'm reading Reaper enemy signatures in the asteroid field." He twisted in the pilot's seat, checking all the displays.

 _Huh. That's confirmation._ "Bryson said they were shadowing his field teams. If they're after Leviathan too, Reapers are a _good_ sign."

Cortez stiffened slightly in his chair, then commented dryly "That's not something you hear every day."

\--

She had the shuttle touch down at one end of the facility, and instructed Cortez to stay on base. If they got lucky, it'd be a quick extraction.

They didn't get lucky.

\--

Getting _into_ T-GES Mineral Works was relatively simple. Sure, they'd had to kill two of those huge things they'd first encountered on Menae... the ones that Command suspected were altered Elcor, and James insisted on calling 'Brutes' because, after all, the Turians did. They seemed fairly susceptible to biotics, however, and as long as Shepard could stay out of their way, easy enough to dispatch.

Getting _through_ T-GES Mineral Works was another matter. Every person they encountered felt 'off', as though their energy were being constrained by something. And all of them were acting like Bryson's assistant after the attack: unconcerned about the Reapers at the front door, unmotivated to help them discover anything. Once the away team found the code necessary to hack into the security terminal, Shepard surmised it was adding up to a dark picture indeed. Something had attacked Garneau right after he'd filed his last report. They'd transferred him to Medical.

Still, everything didn't completely go to Hell until they found the man claiming to be Garneau.

\--

Shepard was getting ready to punch a wall when a voice behind them stated "If you are looking for Garneau, you have found him. I am Dr. Garneau."

The man was leaning up against a think pane of glass in the darkened room behind them. Eliza approached the window. "I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance." She paused, looked at the man more closely. _Something feels... wrong._ "Are you all right?"

The man refused to look up at her. "Yes." A pause. "Only I'm trapped in here."

 _Something. **Is.** Wrong._ "What's been going on in this place?"

"I was doing my research... until the incident."

"They attacked you." _And did WHAT to you?_

"It's true." The man _still_ refused to look up. "But aside from my confinement, I'm fine."

 _Lie._ Garneau had _finally_ glanced up... and every cell in Shepard's body klaxoned in alarm. If she could only get in there, she'd know for sure, but her gut insisted that even though he was _speaking_... there would be no energy field for her to sense. 

She instinctively pushed. "I need you to tell me _everything_ you found on the Leviathan. Bryson seemed to think it killed a Reaper."

The man - _creature?_ \- inside the treatment room hung its head again. "It's a myth. A dead end."

James stepped forward. Eliza wondered if his intuition was doing the cha-cha, too. "What about the artifact you talked about in your message?" _If not his intuition, at least his skills of deduction._

The voice fell slightly, sounded a bit... lost. "I did? No."

 _This is not Garneau. But they're still my only lead._ "Yes, doctor, you did. But now we've got Reaper forces attacking, so I need to break you out. We'll grab the artifact, and go."

The body on the other side of the glass folded in on itself. "Reapers. The darkness... must not be breached."

 _That again._ "The darkness?"

Inside the treatment room, a swirling energy she could _barely_ sense, shifted. The creature looked at her fully, raised a fist to bang on the window. " _Why_ do you pursue me?" The voice had deepened, grown hoarse. More banging; Eliza braced for the glass to shatter. "Leave the artifact. It will _not_ take what is mine."

A wry voice to Shepard's left opined "He is not himself. This is not Garneau we're talking to."

She glanced at Javik and rolled her eyes. _YOU THINK?_ She refocused on the creature in front of her. " **You**. _You_ killed a Reaper. I need your help."

Unsurprisingly, their having guessed its true nature failed to appease the entity. Its eyes went a little wilder as it grated out "YOU BRING ONLY DEATH."

And then the window DID, in fact, explode.

\--

They gave chase, of course. And ran into _many_ more Reapers, including two particularly nasty types they'd never seen before. If it wasn't the worst fight Shepard had ever been in - scrambling from one spot of cover to the next, trying to survive the tall, wailing, _insanely-shielded_ , Asari-looking Reapers - it managed to hit her top ten. And that _before_ James fell to one of them.

She heard herself yell his name, felt herself stupidly dash toward him... directly at one of the shrieking enemies. She dodged its long, spindly, reaching arms, and leapt over a barrier, still getting hit again, and using yet another shot of medigel. This triggered a shot from Vega's omni-tool as well, and he stood up; they were now flanking the horrible thing. She used Reave and Warp in combination a great many times during that fight, and injected enough medigel to make her quite jittery, and they STILL weren't done... because the attack had somehow managed to disable the door to the mines.

Shepard bit her lip as Vega and Javik continued to yell at her to 'stay near the repair drone' when what she really wanted to do was scream at them both: "WHO'S THE DAMN TECH HERE?" More of the horrible tank-like beasts that threw explosive bolts, more of the thin screaming creatures, _more_ medigel, and the drone finally repaired the door.

They found the real Garneau. And a whole lot of confused workers who seemed to think it was still the year 2176.

\--

Shepard wasn't an idiot. She limped up to Medbay as soon as one of the Marines in the Shuttle Bay helped her pry off her armor. She started the report to Hackett even as the doctor looked her over. Karin Chakwas, shaking her head ruefully, gave her two more shots of medigel, lifted the datapad out of her hands, looked her in the eye, and grated out "Lay. The HELL. Down. NOW."

James showed up a minute later. He looked at her and grinned: the boyish grin of someone who is often wrong, but was just proven correct. "I guess, for once, I don't have to track you down."

"Lieutenant? Refresh my memory, because it's all a bit hazy. Who nearly got their back broken by a giant-ass screaming Reaper?"

"Uh, _you_ , Ma'am." He winced as Chakwas also hit _him_ with two more shots of medigel. "I saw. I was pretty terrified. That's when I started to fire distraction at it until it went after me. 'Course," James shifted on the biobed and winced again, "-it worked a _little_ too well."

"Yeah, see - _who_ ended up unconscious and had to be saved by their C.O.?"

The doctor was sick of being ignored. "You both need to sleep for _at LEAST_ an hour. I know getting this many injections of stims can make that difficult, but you both have internal injuries. If you can't sleep, at least LIE THERE, RELAX, and let your damn bodies heal." She shoved at Vega; he laid back on his biobed with a surprised look. Chakwas muttered something else and went back to her station. She started fiddling with dials, and Shepard was pleasantly surprised when the bed started to grow warm.

"OK, that's _cheating_ ," James muttered on a yawn.

Eliza couldn't help it; the yawn was contagious. "Fine. It will take time to get back to Caleston in any event. But let Joker know-"

"I already did," Chakwas interrupted. "All he has to do is keep us directly out of the path of a Reaper command ship, and he's proven quite adept at that so far. Go. To. SLEEP."

Shepard couldn't fight it anymore. She slept.

\--

When she woke up, Medbay lighting had dimmed. She glanced at her omni-tool and realized they had slipped over into the next day. It was just after midnight.

"Wow. What the hell did the doc put in those injections?" On the biobed next to her, a huge form stirred, and she recognized the voice of her XO. "I went out like a _light_." He rolled over toward her, and she could see he was also checking his omni-tool. "We only slept thirty minutes, but at least I no longer feel like I got run over by a _transport."_

She cautiously struggled into a seated position. The bed was still warm. Part of Eliza just wanted to lay back down and stay there for another half hour. Or possibly the rest of her life. But part of her... "Do you feel... _weird_?"

"Yeah. The other reason I hate using so much medigel; seven shots in an hour will mess you up."

Shepard silently counted and couldn't hold back a gasp. "Oh my God... you're right. I don't think I've ever had seven shots in a _day_ before."

Vega groaned, scissored, and sat up to face her. "You usually fight long-range. Hell, you only dashed into that one because I stupidly assumed that if I could close with a **Brute** and not get KO'd, I must be hot shit. I got cocky, and you paid for it." He stretched. "Thank you, by the way. I thought whatever that damn thing was had my name on it."

" _You've_ had _seven_ shots of medigel in an hour before?"

James nodded. "Yup. On..." He paused, sighed, and said "Fehl Prime."

Eliza blinked. Bent until she was able to catch his gaze. "Remember all that stuff you said to me about how you'd like me to talk about my past, but you trusted me even if I wasn't ready to? **Ditto.** "

Vega snorted. He sighed again. "Lola, Fehl Prime was _bad_. I get it - out of any person I've ever met - you'd probably understand. I'll..." He tilted his head back and forth, seemingly trying to ease the same neck tension she was feeling. "I'll get to it eventually." He met her eyes and grinned. "Maybe during another game of Truth or Dare."

"Uh, _no_. I'm good. You'll tell me when you tell me." Eliza cautiously slid until her feet touched the floor. "My... legs feel funny. My skin's all... tingly. It's like-"

"-being drunk. Yeah." James also stood. He was less than a meter away. She could feel the heat coming off his body. It was... This was... Suddenly she couldn't. Quite. Breathe.

They both knew the moment things shifted from a light-hearted 'we could have died and now we're stuck in MedBay feeling drunk' discussion... to something else entirely. Eliza leaned, just a bit. She figured that, later on, she could blame it on unsteady legs.

"Lola, I-"

She leaned further, just to smell him again. He was only a few centimeters away.

That was all it took. "Dios en el cielo, Lola - no deberíamos estar haciendo ésto." He reached for her.

Shepard had the presence of mind to glance at the darkened windows, and say "Not here." She was absurdly proud of how little her legs wobbled as she entered the AI server room, but all-too-aware that she wasn't exactly walking a straight line. She wondered if he'd follow her, or if she was making a _complete_ ass out of herself.

Someone grabbed her from behind and pushed her up against the wall just inside the door. His teeth closed on her neck and she squeaked. He was murmuring in Spanish, and seconds later his lips closed on hers, and all Eliza could think was _I forgot how good this feels. I'm in real trouble._

After a few minutes of bliss-filled kissing, Shepard pulled away and stumbled a few meters further, until she could sit on the desk at the back of the room. She gestured. 

He hesitated.

_What the hell? I don't EVEN believe this..._

"Eliza... I _honestly_ can't believe I'm saying this - and I may never forgive myself - but I think it would be better if we, um, solved our problems separately... and slept off this medigel."

Shepard stared at the floor and didn't reply immediately.

 _That's... Christ. He's right._

After a dozen seconds or so, her chin tipped up and she met his eyes. "Yeah. I think-" She cleared her throat. "Might be best."

"It's NOT what I _want_ , Lola," Vega interjected, "But we _just_ got done talking about alcohol, and here we are, both tripping on stims." James leaned against the wall of the server room, and Eliza swallowed to remember she'd been pressed against that wall only a minute ago. He made an adjustment to his uniform that she tried desperately to ignore. "If you get an hour of sleep and STILL want to do this, message me and I'll be in your cabin in under a minute."

He turned and stalked out of the server core. 

Shepard slowly remembered where she was. She made a face. _I can only IMAGINE what the hell EDI thinks about all this. I can hear it now... 'Shepard, you appear to be in the midst of courting behavior with Lieutenant Vega. I wish to provide Jeff with all the benefits of courting, and yet I am confused on several points...'_

"EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"You didn't hear ANY of this, all right?"

"Shepard, I have auditory and visual sensors all over the ship. I don't take _particular_ notice of events merely because they transpire in my Server Room."

Eliza sighed. "I _meant_ I want you to _forget_ you heard any of this. And, under NO circumstances does Joker find out about it. Do you understand?"

"I will not tell Jeff, Commander. Do you wish me to wipe Normandy's logs?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "That would be a good precaution. Thank you, EDI."

 _It's not running away. Not a rout. It's a... strategic retreat._ Then she snorted. _Whatever lets you sleep at night... **Lola.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MODS and DLC:
> 
> (1) Bekenstein mission courtesy of EGM. STG facility on Ilos also courtesy of EGM. Searching for Dr. Garneau mission courtesy of Leviathan DLC.
> 
> VIDEO: (https://youtu.be/fzQ5ZOtAyGk)
> 
> (1) Shepard yells "James!" when he falls in battle. that's _not_ part of the normal fight, but - given everything - it belongs there (and IMHO something DAO got right, although it fires way too often).
> 
> (2) during the last fight James says "Shit, a banshee." problem is, you can play through this DLC at any time; in the case of this video, THIS IS THEIR FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH BANSHEES (and Ravagers). so him recognizing the banshee is gone. what i like about doing the Leviathan DLC quickly, however, is that they now have a LOT more intel on all the Reaper types and i hopefully can stop being worried about this BS after this chapter.
> 
> (3) i've inserted Shepard changing to her BDUs and running out to the airlock as part of the Bekenstein mission, to give the 'feeling' that she actually left the ship. i did NOT, however, bother to do this for Ilos; i felt it wouldn't add much/once was enough.
> 
> (4) the movements of the ship while James is acting CO aren't on the video, since the play-through is supposed to be all Shepard POV. i'm hoping to remember to carry this throughout... but the truth is i may have already f-d it up.
> 
> (5) medigel over-use reaction is canon (Citadel DLC).
> 
> TIMELINE: Vega and Shepard caught _maybe_ 6 hrs of sleep in the day since Mars. James is back on duty, watching the ship while Shepard goes down to Bekenstein to do something only she can do. He is CO when the Normandy fetches the Shadow Broker team in the Krogan DMZ. i've set this dynamic up on purpose, since Vega is a big guy, and if you read into the make-up of this merc team - well - one of the soldiers in particular, Liara doesn't want to even leave the Shuttle Bay.
> 
> it's been interesting trying to figure out FTL flight times, since there will be a lot more of them going forward. i'm trying to keep the realism, and it feels like a struggle. please let me know how you feel that aspect is faring.
> 
> ~ 15:00: sees Cortez; they chat right before she goes back aboard  
> ~ 15:30: Normandy leaves Citadel, FTL to Boltzmann. Shepard does paperwork, talks to Vega, and cleans up for the colony visit.  
> ~ 16:30: making nice at Bekenstein  
> ~ 17:30: leave Boltzmann, FTL back to Widow. Shepard immediately gets out of dress blues and goes to bed; leaves James in Command to pick up mercs in Krogan DMZ, get them to Pangea Expanse, with orders to wake her when they get to Ilos/STG base  
> ~ 18:30: Relay to Krogan DMZ, start FTL to Dranek  
> ~ 19:00: pick up Shadow Broker Wet Work Squad, stow them in Shuttle Bay.  
> ~ 19:30: FTL back to Aralakh/Krogan Relay (short), jump to Widow, then Horse Head, then Hawking, Pangea/Refuge, to Ilos. jumps go quick, but there are a lot of them  
> ~ 20:15: James wakes Shepard up. she sees message that - rather than placate Udina - she pissed him off by telling the colony the truth. they (Shepard, James, Javik) go down to Ilos and find tortured salarians, marks of Cerberus, and a hidden door that the Cipher opened that only leads to more questions. vision knocked Shepard out and James carried her back aboard, took her to Medbay, but Javik brought her around quickly. James is distraught. Shepard orders him to get sleep, thinking she may leave him behind next mission. retrieved Avatar of Cunning.  
> ~ 20:45 Relay back to Hawking Eta, then Caleston Rift. Liara arranged transport for most of the Shadow Broker's team. they stop in Balor to scan, get chased by Reapers, then FTL to Aysur (long trip)  
> ~ 22:00: unbeknownst to Shepard, Joker and EDI are now Team James. EDI wakes him up. James and Javik go down to mining facility on the asteroid.  
> ~22:30: fight into lab, nightmare time IN lab, even worse fight after. James goes down after a Banshee corners him. lots of medigel is used. Garneau is dead (has been for quite a while) and facility has been indoctrinated for a decade. Shepard tells Joker to contact Command and arrange for the miners and researchers to be picked up.  
> ~24:00: Shepard begins a write-up for Hackett, but Chakwas over-rides her. James and Shepard end up stuck in Med-bay. things get interesting. adrenaline... better than oxygen.
> 
> Spanish: "Dios en el cielo, Lola - no deberíamos estar haciendo ésto" ~ "God in Heaven, Lola - we shouldn't be doing this."


	11. Locked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Supposition all our lives shall be stuck full of eyes;  
> For treason is but trusted like the fox,  
> Who, ne'er so tame, so cherished and locked up,  
> Will have a wild trick of his ancestors."
> 
> ~William Shakespeare 
> 
> does some stuff seem to be settled? hm.

For all that the _Normandy_ was a decent-sized ship (and currently under-staffed) it was often damn difficult to find the requisite privacy to problem-solve. Perhaps because it was so late in the normal day-cycle, or perhaps because he just got lucky, there was no one else in Port Observation. And with the designation of _Executive Officer_ came with the power to bypass - and engage - all door locks.

Vega's lingering internal damage mildly protested the... _exercise_ necessary to allow him to even consider going back to sleep. He limped to the Crew Quarters and rolled into an empty lower bunk; no way in Hell he was climbing into his normal berth. James snorted as he remembered how aggravated Eliza had been when he gave a wounded Tomas Zavala the _bruja_ novel for... _night-time reading material_.

_Tal vez tengas razón, Lola._

The things James fantasized about during this episode, before he - well, he didn't so much 'go to sleep' as 'pass out cold' - would have made him blush in earlier days. Now all he could think about was how soon he could actually **do** all of them. Her bed. Her shower. On the sofa in the starboard-side lounge. On top of some of the sturdier crates in the Shuttle Bay. Perched on his work station.

_And now on top of the poker table in Port Observation. And the god-damned **server room**... because there clearly weren't **enough** places on the ship where I've fantasized jumping its Commander._

It was disturbing.

At least, once indulged, this crazy desire would almost certainly wear off. As he'd told Shepard months ago, the 'hump like rabbits, do anything to be near the other person' stage just didn't last. In truth, James hadn't managed to keep a relationship going - before or during his stint in the Marines - more than a few months. Since he'd been in Special Forces, that average had declined to mere weeks.

_Then again, given the fact that the Reapers are crushing us, I think longevity of the relationship is the LEAST of our worries right now._

\--

He was still dreaming, horrible Fehl Prime-laden nightmares that meant his sleep was (again) less than restful. Still, he realized - when he glanced at his chron - that TPTB had let him sleep _way_ longer than he'd expected. It was nearly 05:00 MST.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

Two other crew members shifted fitfully in two other beds: one to his right, and one to his left. James winced.

**VEGA: others in here. give me a second**  
**_EDI: As you wish, Lieutenant._ **

He carefully slipped out of the bunk and into the corridor, noting with relief that the gut-deep abdominal pain and weird sharp ache in his ribs and back appeared to have abated. He entered the restroom, found it empty, used the facilities, and tried again.

"EDI, why didn't you wake me at oh-three-hundred?"

"Commander Shepard was awake at that time and countermanded SOP. According to medical records, she was not as injured as you were, Lieutenant Vega, and her cybernetic-"

"Right." James interrupted the AI impatiently. _I'm still only human. I get it._ "Where are we?"

If EDI was annoyed at being cut off, it showed only in the slight pause before she responded. "We are currently waiting for Relay clearance in Aquila; we will be here approximately two additional minutes. Our ultimate destination is Kite's Nest."

One of the other crew members from quarters stumbled into the lavatory, saw him, saluted, and went into a stall. Vega prudently returned to the hallway.

"Kite's Nest?"

"Yes, Lieutenant. An obscure system called Vular."

Vega scanned through his omni-tool and winced. _Long FTL. Why the hell are we going **there**?_

"Thank you, EDI."

"XO Vega, I suggest contacting the Commander if you wish to know the reason behind our destination."

 _God spare us from a mind-reading AI._ "I will, EDI. Just need to get up the courage first. Maybe a shower and food." _Maybe another trip to MedBay to make sure all the bone damage healed up._

"Lieutenant, if I might inquire - does such awkwardness always proceed from intimacy?"

As James stood in the corridor, debating whether he should go to MedBay or back inside to shower, the ensign from earlier exited the restroom. The AI's voice, coming from his omni-tool, suddenly seemed very **loud**. The man paused, both eyebrows raised... and Vega quickly re-entered the lavatory.

"Uh... what do you mean, EDI?" _I need a shower, yes, but now I also need a drink. Though - dammit - I'm trying not to do that now._ He carefully stripped off his mangled uniform and tossed it into the laundry chute, grabbed a towel, twisted off his omni-tool band, and set it down on the towel. He dialed the water as hot as it would go.

 _You really should have made sure there was at **least** a spare T-shirt and pants in your size, first. One of these days, you're going to end up SOL._ He checked the stack of clean clothing in the locker and groaned. _Like today._ James gave up and plunged into the steaming water. _Gracias a Dios._

"I thought my reference clear, Lieutenant Vega. Your intercourse with Commander Shepard often appears to lead to avoidance immediately following the interaction. I am attempting to understand if such behavior is a necessary part of intimacy, or merely an idiosyncrasy of your particular relationship."

James choked on shower water. He glared over at the innocent-looking chunk of metal on the towel. "EDI, I'm not avoiding the Commander. I'm attempting to wake up before I call her." _And perhaps make sure that I can interact with her without wanting to jump her again... if you'd shut up and let me take care of that._

"Then I hope you are awake now, Lieutenant, for Commander Shepard is on her way to your location."

"What?!"

However, now that she'd delivered the information, EDI went uncharacteristically silent.

\--

Even when they'd shared an apartment, he'd never showered so quickly. He rather resented it, because the hot water had felt so good on his back. And ribs. _Everything._ And there was - **again** \- no time to take care of ANY of his problems.

In the end it didn't matter, since there was a loud knock on the exterior door and it began to open before he'd even stepped out of the water. Vega gave up, and turned around to face the showerhead. "Lola, you know you're in the wrong restroom, right?"

"I was looking for you. EDI said you'd woken up six minutes and forty-seven seconds ago, but you didn't call in. I wanted to make sure you were OK."

Her voice sounded odd, and Vega turned his upper body enough to see her. Her back was to him. She had also key'd a code on the door; the panel glowed a faint red.

_I'm locked in here, naked, with Eliza Shepard. Unfortunately, I bet the only reason she's here is-_

"If you're fit, I'd like you to take a duty shift. I really need another couple of hours of sleep."

 _-to tell me to go to work._ Vega couldn't help it; he let out a groan. The physical evidence of his desire (and panic) began to abate, and he found himself simultaneously relieved and incredibly annoyed.

Her voice was concerned when she appended "If you need MedBay-"

"I don't." He cut her off, and went back to scrubbing.

About twenty seconds later, he realized that - while she clearly didn't intend to look at him - she evidently wasn't leaving. "Can I help you, Shepard?"

Eliza jumped. "I just figured-" She cleared her throat. "If I stay, I can keep the lock on. I mean, you probably-" James could hear the blush in her voice as she stumbled to a halt. He rinsed off, set his omni-tool aside, picked up the towel, and wrapped it around his hips.

"While it's very considerate of you to provide me some privacy to masturbate, how the hell do you figure _that's_ what I'm going to want to do if you stay in here with me? With the _door lock_ engaged?" He walked toward her as he spoke, let his hands close on her arms as he finished his statement, head bent to whisper in her ear.

She held herself stiffly, but Vega could almost feel the energy around her change. _Is that a thing with biotics? If that's her energy field I'm sensing, is it actually changing with her moods? Her... desire?_ The thought made everything hard again.

"I suppose... I didn't think it through? I'm... getting muddled. The injuries healed up quickly, but it's like... I still feel drained. I usually bounce back from a fight more quickly." She exhaled, and her voice was clearly frustrated when she added: "Then again, this is my first _biotic_ Reaper." He used his grip on one of her arms to encourage her to pivot and she relaxed when she saw the towel, which made James both remember their first days in the apartment, and sigh in impatience.

 _Three steps forward, two steps back._ "Go to bed. I need to stop in Quarters and find a uniform that will fit, grab some food. Then I'll head up to the Bridge." He reached for his omni-tool, twisted it on, and stepped around her. "By the way-" he waved his wrist at the panel and it glowed green; the door opened on the same damn ensign he'd encountered earlier. The man snapped to and saluted them both, eyes widening. Vega silently cursed his luck and wished his towel was three _times_ as thick. _¡Puta madre!_

"The XO _also_ has all the door codes."

\--

He'd found a uniform, dressed, and was heading to the Mess before he remembered to ask.

**VEGA: why Kite's Nest? thought we needed to get back to the Citadel**  
**_SHEP: figured CST afternoon might be better time to hunt down Ann Bryson. the Nest - EDI discovered a black market artifacts dealer advertising rare pieces on the Shadownet. should satisfy the greedy pendejo at Cipritine Armory who is withholding high-tech weapons from C-Sec_ **  
**VEGA: ahhhh. quid pro quo**  
**_SHEP: exactly_ **  
**VEGA: i'll find him. sleep well, Lola**  
**VEGA: wait - did you eat?**  
**_SHEP: uhhhh_ **  
**VEGA: i'll ask Keiko to bring you breakfast. EAT. IT.**

\--

When they reached Harsa, EDI gave Vega a head's up regarding _The Pillars of Strength_ , a religious text the Preacher in charge of the batarian refugee contingent on the Citadel was seeking. Since Shepard's problems with the Batarians were anything but personal (and James knew what happened to the Alpha Relay still bothered her) he judged the additional half-hour to recover the Pillars time well-spent.

Vega had Joker push the Normandy to its limit, but the mission to and from Vular - between the FTL travel and bartering for the artifacts - still took a bit over two hours. At least the acquisition of several pieces of ancient Batarian artwork ought to fill the bill as far as the salarian extortionist Kannik was concerned. They were almost back to Harsa when EDI informed him Shepard was awake again.

**VEGA: should be out of Kite's Nest in fifteen minutes or so, barring anyone else using the Relay out here. which is doubtful. we're headed to Citadel now, yes?**  
**_SHEP: yeah. go ahead and dock us. catching up messages and then i'll shower and change. i updated the log with what i'd like you to handle this trip. why should i have all the fun? make sure you bring credentials, just in case_ **  
**_SHEP: btw, good work finding The Pillars_ **

Vega basked in that warm feeling her approval always brought, while conversely wishing he wasn't _quite_ so lame. _So now I'm handling official Normandy business?_ As he checked the ship's log, he kissed his chances at finding a card game good-bye. _Ah, all the Commons and Holding Area stuff. Makes sense. Maybe there will be time after all._

They'd barely cleared docking protocols when a private car showed up to carry EDI and Shepard back to Bryson's lab. He and Joker twiddled their thumbs impatiently as the same officious Alliance official took _way_ too long to confirm arrangements for the _Normandy_ to remain in Bay 24 for 'a period up to, but not exceeding, two hours.'

 _Sometimes all the official BS, given what's going on, makes me want to strangle someone. And I know it's not just me._ James eyed Joker, wondering how he should handle the request he knew he needed to make.

Finally he decided to just put it out there. "I could really use EDI with me when I go to Cipritine Armory. Shepard is supposed to message me when they're done at Bryson's lab. I hope you're OK with that."

Jeff paused mid-grouse, and went silent... but his expression got even _more_ annoyed. Vega watched the pilot's face as he struggled, and finally expostulated "Oh, _me_? SURE, I'm fine with the Commander and Executive Officer continually confiscating my assistance mech and leaving me stuck on the ship. I didn't want to go back to Apollo or anything. I'm _fiiiinnnnne_."

James made a mental note to tell Joker his sarcasm was losing its edge... as _soon_ as they didn't immediately need him to cover a command duty shift.

"OK, look, we'll all meet up on the Commons. Once EDI's recorded my interaction at the Weapons kiosk, you guys can go _wherever_ you want. I don't need an official third-party vid of my discussion with General Oraka or Barla Von." James snorted, adding "I daresay I can **assist** you to the Commons as well as any mech."

Jeff shifted away from him. "You're _not_ carrying me around, Vega. No way, no how." He slowly walked out through the airlock, grumbling the entire way, carefully moving down into the bay, and making his way past the Keeper scuttling about. James shadowed him, staying close without actually touching him. He tried not to snicker when the pilot added "That's just _weird_."

 _Yeah. In retrospect, maybe I should have realized what was going on WAY before Tom clued me in._

\--

He left Jeff ensconced at a table at the cafe, and went back up the stairs to the financial sector. He approached the volus behind the desk.

"We rescued those soldiers from Reaper territory."

Barla Von took a few rasping breaths as he looked Vega up and down. James was just about to pull out his credentials, when the little volus responded with "Excellent work. The Shadow Broker has authorized me to offer you a finder's fee for his guards' safety. And now that the business is concluded, I have to attend to some other engagements. Goodbye, Lieutenant... and may I say 'good luck'?"

Vega turned away, endeavoring not to roll his eyes. _**His** guards, huh? Other engagements? Dios, I hate spies and spying._

\--

As he loitered near the elevators, waiting for EDI to arrive, he responded to a curious alert from Esteban. They messaged back and forth for a couple minutes, until the AI popped out onto the Commons; Vega let Cortez know he had to go, but would meet up with him in a half hour.

He and EDI walked down the upper hallway to the two sets of stairs that led to the lower kiosks. With every step he expected her to ask about Moreau... but she didn't. Finally he felt compelled to tell her "Joker's at the cafe waiting for you. Once we grab this vid, you're released for shore leave."

The AI's head rotated toward him. "I am well aware of Jeff's location, Lieutenant, but I appreciate your desire to keep me informed. If this communication is a reflection of your concern regarding _your_ romantic partner, you should know she has gone to the Embassy to deliver a message to the Volus Consulate."

James blinked in shock, absolutely dumbfounded. Finally he swallowed and mumbled, "Uh... thank you, EDI." _Of course she knows where all of us are. She's monitoring nearly every communication on the damn Citadel. You USED that your your advantage only two days ago._

They approached the Cipritine kiosk; Kannik was waiting just behind it. The salarian glanced at EDI, who made no pretense of pulling up a holo in mid-air and saying "Official Normandy log: object manifest dispersal forthcoming." She pivoted to consider Kannik. "Please speak slowly and clearly into the microphone."

The salarian's eyes grew huge. "Who are you? Oh, you're with _Normandy_. Trying to find my artifacts?" He appeared to calm slightly. "Any luck out there?"

James allowed his jaw to tighten; he stood even straighter, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, we found some pieces you'll want. They're in Docking Bay 24. But Commander Shepard suggested I ensure your cooperation _now_ , before you get your hands on them. Thumbprint, _here_." He held out the contract EDI had drawn up.

Vega didn't usually _enjoy_ using his size to intimidate people into that little nervous shifting of body that meant the person was wondering what it would feel like if he beat the crap out of them... but by all accounts this double-dealing _pendejo_ had it coming. James turned to go as soon as Kannik had signed the document.

"Uh, done deal, Lieutenant." The voice was more respectful. "Check in with General Oraka. You'll see - I promise, I'll make C-Sec _very_ happy."

\--

"You're part of the _Normandy_ crew, are you not?"

"Yes, General. I'm Lieutenant James Vega. I'm the Executive Officer on the _Normandy_."

"I was just contacted by a black market dealer who's anonymously donating high-end weapons to C-Sec. He wanted Commander Shepard to know. Looks like she came through."

 _I. LOATHE. Politics._ James controlled his snort, smoothed his face. "And the Blue Suns? Not that the Commander bears them any love, but making sure they stay under Aria's control is important right now."

"Aria can have them. We'll be focusing on Citadel defense. It won't bring Palavan back, but it's something. Thank you, Lieutenant."

\--

James meandered back up to the Cafe, stood near enough to EDI to listen as she ordered food, presumably for Joker. He backed up a bit as she pivoted; they moved to the side to let the next person approach the bar.

"You guys are staying here awhile?"

"Yes. Jeff said he would like to try a 'cheeseburger.' He opined that it was unlikely to be comprised of either 'cheese' or 'burger', but - since the 'milkshake' was acceptable - he would risk it." The AI's face almost appeared to crease into a frown. "At times I do not understand his decision-making process."

Vega bit his lip, tried not to smile. "I'm heading down to the Holding Area. Cortez came over; I need to check on him. And to make sure that the leader of the Batarian exiles has enough time to retrieve _The Pillars_ before we disembark again."

"Then you will just miss Shepard. She will arrive soon, for I let her know that Liara's father is here." A few meters away, the Asari server jerked in shock. Vega filed away this information.

"I see. Well... maybe I'll wait for her, then." He grimaced, looking around. It suddenly seemed _awfully_ crowded in the Commons. He started to walk away, heading to the benches past where Oraka still sprawled, but stopped when EDI spoke again.

"Lieutenant, I have noticed many displays of public affection on the Citadel. The rate seems disproportionately high."

Vega's face went hot; he'd been flushing an AWFUL lot of late. The worst part was, EDI would know. He needed to remember that EDI knew _everything_. And it was time for him to say _something_ regarding her many inferences; he just had no clue _what_. "Uh, EDI, the stuff you've seen and heard-"

"I understand, Lieutenant. The Commander asked me to delete the ship's log of evidence of private affection. That is why it seems incongruous to see so much of it in the public domain."

James swallowed, absorbing the fact that Eliza had asked the ship's computer to edit the evidence of their time together. _¿Ah, cabrón?_ He shrugged helplessly. "People are starting to realize they could die at any time, EDI. Many of them probably figure that if they're going to express affection, it's now or never."

The AI seemed to ponder this. "I wonder if that's how the Krogan feel?"

 _ **Ouch**._ "So... you'll head back to the Normandy..."

"As soon as Jeff finishes eating. This platform requires charging if it is to come with you to reacquire Ann Bryson." EDI took the plate one of the attendants offered her, and walked away to join Joker.

Vega opened his mouth, thought about it, and closed it again. _As long as everyone knows **I'm** going, Shepard can handle that one._

\--

Vega's jaw dropped as he watched Eliza stride up to the bar. She confronted the Asari server, stomped down into the seating area (where he'd apparently missed seeing Liara), and prodded her science officer until the latter woman stalked back up to the bar to confront - if EDI was correct - her father. He watched as Shepard lingered _just_ long enough to be sure they weren't going to come to blows, then made a beeline for him.

He heard himself voice the thought that had popped into his brain upon seeing her: "I remember that suit."

Her lips quirked. Her eyes twinkled as they met his. "I'm sure you do."

James couldn't seem to stop himself; he _knew_ there were people milling around the seating area, that General Oraka was ten meters away, he remembered what EDI had said to him... but his hand reached out of its own accord and curled around her hip. "Do you remember what we were doing the last time I saw you in this suit?"

Her throat moved as she swallowed. "Of course. That day did _not_ end nearly as well as it began." She moved almost imperceptibly, just enough so that his hand fell away. "It seemed like informal, yet appropriate, attire in which to console a grieving Alliance scientist." Her mouth flattened into an angry line. "Of course once we were docked, EDI interfaced with Citadel systems and found out: no Ann Bryson. Which meant she either _didn't_ come home after being informed that her father was murdered, or was never informed. She is apparently working at a remote dig site." Shepard sighed. "Which means... she almost certainly doesn't know."

James snorted out a breath. _All Business Shepard. Mierda._ "So... we go get her."

Eliza nodded, glancing around the lower seating deck. James watched her bob her head at General Oraka and have her nod returned, before her gaze moved on. Vega arched a brow at the Turian; it might have been his imagination, but it almost seemed as if Oraka was laughing at him.

"We have to. She's our only lead, now." Shepard seemed satisfied by what she saw - or didn't see - and when she leaned into him, it surprised him so much, he almost stepped back. "I'm going to run by Huerta, though, before we leave. Are you-" She was looking into his eyes, almost as if she could read his thoughts there, "-are you OK with that?"

Vega took a deep breath. "I saw the vid. It's official, then."

Eliza shrugged, still standing mere centimeters away. "It seems that way." She held his gaze."I only want to make sure he's OK. That Udina didn't coerce him into it."

She was so close. James realized that she was close enough to kiss. That he could, and she probably wouldn't mind. A thought hit him like flash-fire: _She WANTS me to kiss her-_

He bent quite suddenly, touched his lips to hers swiftly, and straightened. Her face was flushed, but she hadn't protested. Hadn't pulled away. "I get it. Tell him I said hi."

_You won. Fucking **act** like you won. Like you trust her._

"You still have to head over to the refugee area?"

"Yeah. Won't take me long, though. I'll message ship-wide that they need to be aboard by oh-nine-thirty."

Her eyes had gone the softest green he'd ever seen: rolling hills, verdant leaves, and other poetic phrases that were going to be clogging up his addled brain in the hours to come.

"Thank you." She started to walk away.

"Lola?" She turned and glanced at him over a shoulder. " _De nada."_

\--

James couldn't miss Cortez, hovering in front of the Memorial Wall, obviously torn between what he wanted to do and what he knew he needed to do. Vega sensed the magnitude of the pilot's loss juxtaposed with his own good fortune, and had **no** idea how to approach this. How to help. If helping was even possible.

"You hanging in there, Esteban?"

"I've just been... standing here. Holding this, for I don't know how long. Knowing he'll always be a part of me."

Part of Vega wished Shepard was here. And yet... he'd known Steve for _years_ now. Known him happily-married. Known him drunk, dealing with the initial dark crimson agony of loss. Known him as the Reapers attacked and how it brought up all the pain all over again. _I can do this. Remember what it was like after Shepard died, and you didn't even KNOW her then. Imagine if she died **now**._

Then, quickly, _No. Don't think about that._

James reached out a hand to rest it on Cortez' shoulder briefly. "No one can take that away."

He realized Esteban was actually going to leave the datapad. He truly hadn't expected him to. And yet Steve strode forward, and placed it on the ledge near the wall of photos. "Good bye, Robert."

James followed him to the wall and softly murmured "Vaya con Dios, Roberto Cortez."

Steve turned. He didn't smile, but James was just relieved he wasn't still crying. "I'm glad you came."

"De nada, Esteban. We should get back."

\--

Vega's last assignment was to deliver the news to the batarians that their holy text had been recovered. He let the preacher know that they would hold onto it and keep it safe a long as they had to, but if he wanted it now, he should go to Docking Bay 24 ASAP... since Normandy would be disembarking shortly. James was humbled by the preacher's simple gratitude when he said "Thank you. Right now, my people need any reminder of their faith they can get."

_I'm glad *I* came down here. Glad I spared Shepard this._

He cruised the enclaves, noting that Garrus hadn't taken the opportunity to come back. He actually did find a card game, which he watched just long enough to be invited to join, but begged off as it was already 09:20. He assured them he'd be back the next time _Normandy_ docked.

_...si Dios quiere._

\--

They managed to pull out of the Citadel around 09:40, and ended up with Relay priority at Widow and Eagle, delayed only eight minutes at Omega. They made up yet more time by pushing their FTL to Zaherin. An hour and some change after they left the Citadel, they were getting ready to (hopefully) retrieve Ann Bryson.

Ten minutes before shuttle launch, Shepard showed up to the Armory as per usual, to don her gear. Vega was still working on attaching his greaves; he hadn't pulled another set of armor. He tilted his toward her kit, stacked on the bench, and casually asked "So... EDI?"

Eliza nodded as she toed off her shoes, dropped the boots onto the decking, and stepped into them. "She's been talking about it frequently. She gave up a lot of shore leave with Joker to help me do research at the lab. I figured she deserved the chance to try."

James nodded, jumping to made sure his leg plates were seated correctly. "I get it. I just- You _did_ emphasize how, well, _awful_ the new Reaper types are? The fact that Javik was the only one smart enough to stay away from them, and how you and I spent hours sleeping off internal injuries?"

Shepard snorted. "From what she said, I gather that was why EDI figured she was particularly well-suited for this mission: she doesn't have internal organs to injure." She slid off her omni-tool, attached her arm plates, and shook her arms. "That's a quote, by the way."

James smacked his shoulder guards into place, then reached out to do the same for Eliza, hitting the button that cinched the entire top part of her armor together over the torso. "I'd imagine those energy attacks could fry her synthetic form fairly effectively nonetheless. I hope she processed all the intel we assembled."

Eliza was rotating her body left and right. When nothing shifted more than it should, she flashed him a smile that made his groin stir. _Dios._

She reached out to grab the breastplate. "Thanks. I can't believe the job you did on this while I was asleep. Stupid Ravagers. I was starting to wonder if it was going to need to be re-fabricated. Or if I was going to end up with a patchwork."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve." _If we survive this, maybe you'll let me show them to you later._ Vega winced. _Note to self: don't EVER say that out loud._

\--

"OK, so we got reports of an attack on some scientists, right?"

"Right." Eliza turned to their AI's mobile platform. "EDI? Can you tell us anything else?"

_Quiz time._

"This is the main site of a series of excavations established under Dr. Garrett Bryson. Staff records confirm the project lead is his daughter, Ann. She has recently uncovered another artifact possibly linked to Leviathan. That discovery must have made this dig site a target."

_All this intel **from** Ann Bryson, and yet no one has been able to let her know her father is dead. Of course, we **are** out in the middle of nowhere. Again._

"Yes. The attack means the Reapers are one step ahead of us. We need to pick up the pace. And since Bryson's daughter is our only lead, our objective is clear." 

Vega listened with amusement as Shepard did that thing where she repeated the mission brief three times while they were en route in the shuttle. It was almost soothing, now. _Then again, she's the one who managed to bring her team home from beyond the Omega Relay. Maybe going over the obvious a half-dozen times was part of it. Watch and learn._

"Cortez?"

"Nothing so far, Commander. If she's down there, she hasn't responded to our hails." There was a pause, as Steve's board started to light up. "Getting some strange signals, though. Give me a minute."

EDI chimed in, "The artifact she uncovered might have caused additional complications."

"Agreed." Shepard spoke over her shoulder at Cortez: "Take us in closer."

"Copy that."

It was times like this when Vega absolutely wished he could hear Esteban's internal monologue. He'd always wondered if the shuttle pilot - who had previously warned him to be more respectful in his language around the Commander - _also_ occasionally found Shepard's actions reason enough to rant, silently, in Spanish.

\--

From the moment Esteban yelled out "WE HAVE HOSTILES" to the moment when EDI incomprehensibly allowed _him_ to be the one trying to get the dig site's upper deck bridge to respond, James felt strangely untethered on Namalki. _God save us from mind-reading AIs who want to **shoot things** way more than they want to be helpful and repair technology... like they were initially built to do._

It might have been all the Harvesters. Ever since he'd first seen them on Earth, heard the noise they made as they swooped overhead, he'd felt a dread of them. Perhaps it had been the fact that he'd been caught unarmed, running through the streets of Vancouver with his lover's ex-lover, hoping the man had enough biotic power to save both their asses.

There were a _lot_ of Harvesters on Namalki. And this time, they weren't merely dropping off troops, but _actively taking shots_ at people on the ground. It was rather like being targeted by shuttles, or transports like the Mako. At times all the away team could do was run from cover to cover and pray.

Vega **hated** it. 

And then there was the Banshee.

Even as he heard himself respond to EDI with "Roger that" - even as he advanced toward the creature - James felt his blood grow cold. They'd found _no_ descriptions of the thing that had nearly killed him in intelligence reports from both Earth and Menae. Ravagers, yes - the Turians had catalogued and nick-named those - but it appeared the _Normandy_ was going to get the somewhat dubious honor of ascribing a moniker to the tall, thin, biotic Reapers. It was Donnelly who - while watching footage in the Mess - came up with the name that apparently stuck.

"It wails like one of the dead; in Scotland, they'd know it for what it is: a _bean-shìdh_."

James was nearby, stuffing his face. Having asked Keiko to bring food up to Shepard, he was determinedly trying not to think about the shower, the locked door... _everything_ that might be happening right now if only he'd pressed ahead... even though Eliza was clearly still exhausted. He leaned against the counter and looked at the engineer they'd schemed and scrambled to recruit. "A what?"

"A _bean-shìdh_ : a death-spirit. When they wail, they foretell death." Kenneth replayed the one snippet of Shepard's recording that Vega would like to have forgotten. "Almost foretold yours, Lieutenant, I reckon."

And that was that. Mere hours later EDI was yelling out " _Bean-shìdh_ , Commander!"

There was almost no cover, this time. He got hit by an energy blast and quickly backed up. After he moved, the thing seemed to advance _directly_ on Shepard. Incendiary ammo didn't phase it; it was too well-shielded. But he kept shooting anyway, waiting for Shepard to down it with biotics, the way she had before. And prayed.

They managed to take it down _seconds_ before it grabbed Eliza. 

And Vega fondly remembered Menae... when all he'd been worried about was the Brutes.

\--

When they finally made it to the top of the structure, Ann Bryson was the only one left alive. It was almost anti-climactic. Vega found finally managing to kill a Harvester therapeutic, actually, and the fact that they had cover from which to fire on it, a gift.

The shuttle ride back was uncomfortable; Bryson's daughter was indeed completely ignorant of his demise. Shepard handled it, and James was grateful. On some level, he suspected he'd eventually need to become competent at informing family members of a serviceperson's death; so far he'd been able to punt that duty (for the most part) to superiors. He'd written the letters, but looking someone in the face and telling them their parent, spouse, or worst - _child_ \- was dead, well, it was something he had yet to learn.

Eliza had told EDI while still en route that she'd like an ensign to prep her cabin for Ann; the researcher protested, but Shepard insisted. They all visited Medical together, but the ensign in question met them there - food for their guest in hand - and escorted Dr. Bryson up to Deck One.

 _This is what it means to be Commander_ , Vega found himself musing. _She'll treat this guest like gold not only because she cares, but because she needs her cooperation. It's never just one thing, is it?_

There was a lot to learn.

\--

James wasn't shocked when she showed up in the Shuttle Bay a bit later, suit still rumpled from the armor she'd sloughed off in the Armory a half hour earlier.

He _was_ a bit surprised when - instead of coming directly to him - she went to the varren. He'd somehow assumed that it was a _mistake_ there was a semi-domesticated varren roaming around the Shuttle Bay, but watching her greet it... he was forced to think differently.

Vega pivoted to face her as she approached him, gestured behind his workstation. He'd figured out ages ago that Esteban didn't have a direct line of sight to the back corner. She arched an eyebrow at him but followed his directive; there was no struggle when he hoisted her up onto the counter, lightly grasped the back of her head, and lowered his mouth to feast on hers.

It was heaven. At least for a few minutes. Then she was pushing at his chest, and James heard himself groan. He reluctantly raised his head, murmuring " _¿En serio,_ Lola?"

She met his eyes. "There is no where to go. Somebody is sleeping in my bed."

He arched a brow at her. "As previously discussed - just _this morning_ \- we can lock any door on this ship." His voice dropped further as he leaned in again. "I can think of any number of places to go."

She frowned slightly, and - since that was not in any way the reaction he'd hoped for - he tilted away. And waited.

"It's not... I suppose I'd thought better of just snatching a quickie in the server room." Her voice grew wry. "Maybe I'm the one who needs to let go of the romantic roof fantasy."

Vega blinked. It suddenly hit him that he sounded like a horny teenager. _And while that first thing is definitely true, it doesn't change the fact that she deserves more. Hell, so do I, for that matter. I'd like some **time** , at the very least._

He stepped far enough away that he knew Cortez _could_ see him as he leaned up against the back of his workstation. He started to cross his arms, then stopped himself. _No, don't do that. Deal with it._ "This isn't on you. _Soy una persona muy impaciente en lo que a ti respecta_." Her omni-tool quietly translated what he said to English and he watched her try not to smile. Unwillingly, but inevitably, he found the humor in it. "My only excuse is that I've been rattling around this ship, _como un fantasma encadenado_... imagining you were here. For months." He paused as her translation caught up and she slipped off the counter and closed with him. She put a hand on his arm.

"Let's get Ann home." Eliza took a deep breath, glancing past him, and then she stepped slightly to the side. Vega glanced over his shoulder long enough to note they had a chaperone. _¡A poco, Esteban?_

"And then?" He purposefully kept his tone perfectly level.

Shepard sighed. "We don't have a hell of a lot of time before we need to deliver Primarch Victus to his summit. Assuming Ann can even help us..." Eliza broke off, shrugged, and continued, "I think we need to try to find Leviathan first."

He pondered the twenty-four hour window before they were supposed to meet with the Krogan, the Salarians, and the Turians. He echoed her sigh.

"Maybe there will be another unusually-long FTL on our way to wherever Leviathan is hiding." James tried not to sound _too_ hopeful.

Eliza laughed. "During which one or both of us should be sleeping." When Vega looked at her, disgruntled, she laughed again. "Hey, don't glare at me - _you_ were the one who insisted you had to go on _every_ away mission. And then _not_ back away from deadly Reapers until they'd done internal damage."

He snorted. "I was MUCH more careful this time. I barely got scratched. Though I didn't begrudge you the medigel shot you activated. That was timely."

Shepard smiled, then sobered. "We got lucky. Between the Harvesters, the Ravagers, and that Banshee-"

He bent over and swiftly kissed her. Her mouth softened under his, and he was tempted to linger, but instead pulled away and slid out from behind the workstation. "All right. I saw the messages you flagged from Garrus and Aria. I gather we have a couple stops on our way back to the Citadel. Assuming Ann can help us, and we head right out after Leviathan, we should still be able to get to the Summit on time." He met her eyes. "After the Summit - assuming we leave it with an _Epic Plan_ to dispatch a bunch of resources to the Crucible - could we _possibly_ find a few hours to ourselves?"

That face - the soft, sad, one that had cracked open his chest a few times before - flashed into being again. He couldn't breathe.

"Sí. Prometo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MODS, EGM: Eingara and the Prothean site missions proceed from Ilos. There is also now a Varren wandering around the Shuttle Bay, near the end of the video. you may recognize him from ME2.
> 
> EDITING AND STORY: https://youtu.be/me9-zaYXMMY
> 
> (1) a lot of the play-through is boring ship-flying-around footage. it was edited to include only the flight time Shepard is awake and Citadel jobs that Eliza herself undertakes (all have happened, however some were done by James). any slightly-longer break is Shepard asleep or having an unfilmed conversation; it will be in the narrative (if with James) or _unknown_ if it happens elsewhere (in this chapter, with Kaidan) (Oooo, the mystery). one of the things i love about splitting the action is showing that Eliza is savvy enough to send _James_ to deal with the Batarian preacher.
> 
> (2) that said, _James_ is the one who consoles Cortez when he leaves the vid behind at the Memorial Wall because _why the hell WOULDN'T he be?_
> 
> (3) ME3 locks Shepard out of the other-gender restroom (in ME2, EDI informs you you're in the wrong one). they're BOTH ridiculous, but it's utterly non-canon to lock the Captain out of ANY area of the ship, so story assumes Shepard can go anywhere she pleases. that said, can we fricken discuss the horrible animating decisions on the Crew Deck again? no? are you sure? what? i'm _ranting_? OK, OK...
> 
> (4) at this point the shower interruptions, which started as a natural outgrowth of Too Many Things to Get Done (actually, i suppose they began on a rooftop in Vancouver), are probably my favorite running gag. but please DO let me know if they're pulling you out of the narrative.
> 
> (4) yes, there are deliberate call-backs to earlier stories. you're not crazy.
> 
> SPANISH:  
> Tal vez tengas razón ~ Maybe you had a point  
> si Dios quiere ~ God willing  
> ¿En serio? - seriously?  
> soy una persona muy impaciente - i'm a very impatient person  
> como un fantasma encadenado ~ like a chained ghost  
> Sí. Prometo ~ yes. i promise
> 
> TIMELINE:
> 
> ~24:00: Shepard and James head to MedBay for treatment and both end up in their separate quarters eventually.
> 
> October 16th, 2186
> 
> ~00:30: Joker is left in Command while Vega and Shepard sleep off extensive internal injuries. he explores, recovers resoures. consulting with Javik, he decides to hit the first of the Prothean sites (Omega Nebula/Amada) since they're close. Relay to Omega and FTL takes a half hr. Just before they get there, Shepard wakes up. they drop a probe at Eingara, recovering the Avatar of Rage.
> 
> ~04:30 FTL back to Omega. they get fuel. Shepard pokes around the Terminus systems in case she stumbles across troops for Aria. She heads to the Shrike Abyssal. They end up finding/giving fuel to two stranded teams (Vorcha Labor team and Lihrat Defense Frigates); they provide an escort so they can escape the system. They found the Prothean Obelisk on Talis Fia (in Urla Rast), and recovered all the resources of EDI's long-range scanners in ~ four hours of FTL and search time. they AGAIN get chased out of Xe Che (via Relay) by Reapers.
> 
> ~05:00 James wakes up on his own, only to find out _Normandy_ is on the way to Kite's Nest (Ismar Frontier, Serpent, Exodus, Kite's Nest). Vega and Shepard discuss plans; she asks Vega to do a few more hours of system searches and heads to bed.
> 
> ~08:00 Vega knows from EDI's computations that they will have to FTL all the way to Vular to catch the artifacts dealer. he has Joker push the _Normandy_ to its limit; FTL to and from Harsa/Kite's Nest Relay is still a bit over 2 hrs. Shepard wakes up somewhere in there; she grabs a shower and changes clothes. they jump to Widow (2 Relays).
> 
> ~08:30 (14:30 CST - Citadel Standard Time): Shepard and EDI have talked to Citadel and figured out Ann Bryson isn't there. they head to the lab, and - now that they know their way around - it takes ten minutes to figure out where she is. Eliza goes to the Embassy to tell the Volus diplomat about the Obelisk. EDI heads to the Commons. Shepard has asked James to inform Barla Von that they recovered the Shadow Broker's team, to deliver news to the weapons dealer, and to check in with General Oraka. EDI messages Shepard and tells her that Liara's father is now tending bar, and she shows up to intercede there. James and Shepard talk, then Shepard heads off to see Kaidan. (if you observe where the video cuts, it's safe for the reader to assume Eliza inquires about Tom). James heads to the Holding area, meets with Cortez and the Batarians.
> 
> ~09:30: they leave the Citadel to find Ann Bryson. (Widow to Eagle to Omega to Pylos (20-30 min), FTL to Zaherin ~ hr), scanned planet Namakli, shuttle down. major fight.
> 
> ~11:00: return to Normandy with Ann Bryson. all head to Medbay; Shepard asks an ensign to take Ann to her cabin. debrief with James in Shuttle Bay.


	12. Triton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is a wise father that knows his own child."  
> ~ William Shakespeare
> 
> lots of people having father issues. loss issues. control issues.
> 
> issue-issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is a bit late, guys. i got a false start on the filming of the vid, due to a complication with the Expanded Galaxy Mod and my intended plot; it snowballed into my slipping behind. this is also a LONG fricken chapter (nearly 8K words). so, i hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> not sure i'll be keeping to one chapter/week, but i'm going to _try_ to get back on track. any comments, etc are greatly appreciated encouragement. thank you!

Eliza ran out of the Shuttle Bay with a brief nod to Cortez... who was in turn watching her with a barely-controlled grin on his face.

 _That's just **great**. Liara? Absolutely **fine**. I needed her, she showed up, she went through my mind and there it was. I own that one. EDI? **Inevitable** ; she sees **everything** on the ship. Garrus? That one's harder to square away, since he just **guessed**. But Cortez? That just feels sloppy._

She paused inside the elevator as the doors opened onto Engineering. _Of course James said he was upset after I left. Maybe he told Steve what happened? **Would** James have told him? They're obviously close, but-_

Shepard stood in the door, preventing the elevator from moving, but reluctant to step out into the corridor for some unknown reason.

_"Someone is sleeping in my bed... Sí.... Promento."_

That... had been a close call. Eliza acknowledged it, even as she wondered what the _hell_ she was doing. It wasn't as if he'd suddenly fallen in love with her. Things were the same as they'd been three days ago when he entered the small room at Headquarters where she'd been trying to sleep for two hours. People just didn't develop feelings so quickly, no matter what the authors of romantic novels plotted out.

_Except... you developed feelings, Eliza. **And** you told him so. TWICE. And he made jokes._

She _should_ have been able to just keep telling him 'no'. That was her _clear_ duty here. After all, it wasn't as if she didn't _already_ have an experience of fraternization gone wrong that felt like a burn on her soul to this very day. But being with him, all the time, was _so_ much more difficult than being apart. It was as if, as long as she was away from him - as long as she couldn't hear him, see him, smell him - she could resist him. 

Oh, she'd still thought about him while she'd been traveling: hoped he was doing well, not drinking or getting into fights, hoped he managed to impress Anderson enough to be given the position of Executive Officer. But she hadn't spent every waking moment of the summer fantasizing about him. She hadn't been... wandering in a circle like a chained ghost.

Something flipped over in her core. _I mean... OK, there was **some**... fantasizing. Though sharing a room with Osorio certainly reduced the number of opportunities._

She slipped out of the elevator and went through the double doors into the Engine Room. _At least I bought myself some time. We really need to concentrate on tracking down this damn cryptid that can apparently kill Reaper Command ships._

\--

Shepard had only meant to check on Adams, make sure he wasn't so frustrated with his new ex-Cerberus crew that he'd prefer to go back to being a solo act. She evidently stumbled into the middle of a discussion between him and his nemesis, Donnelly. Given the subject of their conversation was present, both she and EDI weighed in on the matter; Eliza felt the tenor of the conversation was far more dispassionate than she'd feared, that perhaps her lead engineer had come to respect his Cerberus-defector colleagues.

_I hope. It's not like engineers of their caliber grow on trees. Plus, the Crucible Project is sucking up every available scientist, technician, and hacker who isn't already nailed down._

Gabby thanked her for the parts she'd acquired for them last year, and she turned to leave... only to hear Donnelly start running his mouth about EDI's new body. She paused, approached them, thought about telling him to shut it down... then decided not to bother. Adams hadn't said anything. EDI hadn't said anything. And the latter's romantic interest was clearly fixated on Joker. Shepard also privately suspected that Gabrielle would eventually tell Kenneth Donnelly what was what, and he'd either take her up on it, or at least shut up about other women.

_This will get solved without you._

\--

Shepard hadn't even opened her mouth when Javik glanced over his shoulder and intoned "If Leviathan is a defector - a Reaper that broke away from the others - then it is also a traitor. And traitors are _never_ to be trusted, even among the enemy. If they can betray their own kind, imagine what they can do to you."

_Ouch. You should try working with Cerberus._

"I understand, Javik. But I came down here to ask whether or not you wanted to go on the away mission when we found him."

The Prothean turned to look over his shoulder again, seemingly eyeing her from head to toe. Finally he turned back to the water tank he'd been fiddling with. "Yes."

_OooooKkkkk. Short and to the point._

"Good talk, Javik."

\--

Eliza made it to the Crew Deck without her brain doing many more cartwheels. Interacting with the crew - especially when it seemed as if they were all doing well - usually calmed her. She realized she owed James far more than mere thanks for helping take care of them; things were running so smoothly she hadn't worried much about them since Kaidan got hurt on Mars. She hadn't checked on Allers in _days_.

There was a new spread of interesting-looking sushi and finger-foods on a table in the Mess, and Shepard paused to consider whether or not she should take time to eat. She realized that this, too, was one of the places where James had had an effect on her life. She might be eating less every meal, but she was eating more often, and her hold on her energy field felt more stable than it had been in a long time.

Ultimately she didn't consider the matter very long before running on to talk to Garrus instead. His email had truly bothered her, not only because there were civilians at risk, but because he'd mentioned having heard from the man he'd wanted dead... the man she'd _forced_ him to spare.

As she stepped into the Battery, Garrus acknowledged her with a bob of his crest, and quipped "I can handle the Reapers that _run around_ , or the ones that crawl, or the ones that shuffle menacingly toward you, but it's the **flying** ones that give me the creeps."

"Then be more thankful I didn't take you down to Namakli."

"Flying Reapers should give _you_ the creeps, too. I watched some of the vid - you nearly got your Terran behind shot off by them more than once."

Eliza snorted. "Not hardly. It'll take more than a damn Reaper to injure _this_ behind." She paused and thought about what she said as Vakarion's head came up and he stared at her. "Uh, that didn't come out right."

"I'm sure. Would you like to try again, or should I just call the Lieutenant right now?"

Eliza arched a brow. "Don't even think about it. Just... don't go there."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Shepard snorted again. "You're supposed to find paradise _after_ you die, right? I seemed to have skipped that part."

The Turian made a small chuckling sound. "What brings you down here, Shepard?"

"That email you sent to me just before we got to Namakli. How do you really feel about it? Do you trust Sidonis' read of the situation? I got another email, from Aria T'loak, _also_ requesting our assistance to save a large group of prisoners, but it's in the opposite direction. I'm wondering if we can get to both groups before it's too late."

Garrus frowned, and it seemed to Eliza as if all the light-heartedness in the Turian was suddenly snuffed out. "Shepard, once upon a time I would have told you that I trusted no man's word more highly. Even now, I _want_ to trust him. But do I?" Vakarion hung his head over the board, made a strange noise that her translator glitched on, and then sighed. "I suppose I do. His email was brutal to read. I can't imagine the man _begging_ me - _me_ , of all people - for help... if it wasn't in earnest."

Eliza realized she was nodding absently, and straightened up. "Then we'll head to Minos as soon as we finish this system sweep. EDI insists there are people trapped out on the far planets." She paused, then cleared her throat. _Do I... Fuck it._ "Are you... are you ready to actually _see_ him again, Garrus?"

"Well, Shepard, I'm not exactly looking forward to it - and eight months ago I would have taken great pleasure in rescuing the surviving colonists and leaving him there: alive, alone, and damned. But..." Vakarion raised his head and met her eyes. "I'll deal with it."

Her message indicator went off. She glanced down, and then swiped it away.

"Ignoring messages again?"

Eliza sighed, then grinned. "Only the babysitter's." Garrus made a face. "Fine. One sec."

**VEGA: Keiko saw you check out food and run right on through. she told on you. GO EAT**

Shepard rolled her eyes. "I swear his surveillance is more intense than Cerberus'. And the entire crew is already in his damn pocket." She sighed. "But he's right. I should probably go eat."

Vakarion tilted his head. "I know the dextrose rations aren't anything to tempt a Primarch, but what's wrong with the human food?"

Shepard shrugged. "Nothing. I just... I get busy. I remember eventually."

Garrus managed to give her the impression he was actually _frowning_ at her. "You only had that problem in the past right before a big battle, Shepard - arguably the worst time, but it was never an ongoing thing. Go. _Listen_ to the babysitter."

Eliza made a face back at the Turian, but then she went. And ate.

\--

As had become Glyph's typical MO, the VI pounced on her as soon as the door to Liara's office opened. Eliza obliged it by reading through the retrieved data, and choosing some options as to how she'd like it applied in the tech. She idly perused the Shadow Broker message terminal, happy that David and Kahlee had gotten in touch, that Jack was settling into the Citadel and Kasumi into the Crucible Project. _Now if only that little matter in Apollo went OK._

Shepard turned from the message screen and cleared her throat. This wasn't getting any easier. Luckily, Liara spoke first.

"What _is_ it with you and rescuing scientists from dig sites that have been overrun by hostile forces? If you decide to help her take down the Shadow Broker, I'm going to be jealous... and somewhat concerned."

Shepard felt a laugh bubble up. "Never. I only pursue one coup at a time and its Cerberus' turn." She gestured to the terminal. "Bit of interesting intel about them on there."

T'Soni nodded. Her face turned grim. "That's just a sampling. It's actually much worse. I'll send you a summary to your old account, if you wish."

Eliza sighed and nodded. "Best to know how bad it is. I hope you told Hackett what you can."

Liara shrugged. "Admiral Anderson has been chasing Cerberus for over a year now, even before I gave him all my intel on The Lazurus Project. He keeps Hackett reasonably well-informed."

Shepard felt her mouth drop open. "Even while he was Councillor?" She watched as Liara nodded. "That was his excuse for not telling me where Kaidan was." Eliza worked her way around to the other bit that had always bothered her "And that's why Anderson and Hackett weren't surprised to find out I was alive." She could feel her brow furrow. "I'd wondered."

The Asari looked up, turned, put out a hand to cautiously touch Eliza's arm. "It was a lot of responsibility for me, at that point... giving them your body. I wanted to make sure that someone else knew." Liara's face wrinkled, as if she were remembering something unpleasant. Then it smoothed, as though she were tucking the memory neatly away once more. "Besides, as far as I knew at the time, Anderson was the closest thing to a father you had. He deserved to know too." T'Soni snorted. "I would have explained this ages ago if Anderson and Hackett hadn't been so... well, how they were."

Eliza took in that statement, registering the "too" and wondering... _in addition to **whom**?_ But it opened the door to what she'd actually come here to ask, so she ignored it for now. "Speaking of fathers..."

T'Soni rolled her eyes. Shepard didn't think she'd ever seen an Asari do that before. "Aethyta is probably the bluntest person I've ever known. I've learned... several things about Benezia that I might have been better off not-knowing. Yet-" Liara sighed. "If there's one constant in my life, it's been the pursuit of knowledge, and more knowledge about my parents has been... enlightening." Her eyes met Eliza's. "So... thank you for pushing me to confront her."

Shepard smiled. "It couldn't have been easy. I was impressed."

Liara shrugged. "I'll likely go back. It's a nice place to work, the food is good, and... Matriarch Aethyta covered my bill." The sudden, impish, look on the Shadow Broker's face lightened Shepard's heart considerably.

She laughed. "Nice perk."

Liara laughed. "Speaking of food..."

Eliza groaned in exasperation. "I JUST ate." A suspicion occurred to her. "Wait - did my first officer get to _you_ , too?"

The Asari suddenly started to laugh out loud. "It _does_ appear as if he put the entire ship on high alert." She sobered almost as quickly as she'd begun to laugh. "As much as it pains me to admit, he has a point... about Reave. You used to be more careful."

_Yeah, I did. I could explain prison, but I don't think you want to hear about it right now._

"I'm getting better."

"Good."

\--

"Look, Joker, if it will shorten this conversation, I will message Cortez right this minute and let him know he's more than likely going to have to begin taking Command shifts if things get any more hectic. Is _that_ what you want?"

"Frankly? YES."

Eliza was taken aback. "Huh. Uh... OK. I can do that." She reached out a hand and flicked the tip of his nose, super-fast. Clearly superhuman. "You should have said something, Joker."

The pilot recoiled. "Stop showing off. It's _never_ going to be a picnic being the one left in charge of the ship and crew while you two are off dancing with Reaper troops. But would I love it if you left someone _else_ as back-up occasionally? Yeah. Yeah, I _would_."

Shepard frowned. "Cortez goes on missions with us, Joker - that's not going to help you." 

Moreau snorted. "I know that. I just don't want to be the one covering _all_ the time. Leave _him_ in charge occasionally, while you two sleep. It's going to happen more and more, especially if you both keep coming back injured. Or when-" the pilot stopped dead, mid-sentence.

"When...?" Eliza tilted her head in query.

Joker shrugged. "Nothing."

"Joker..."

"It isn't an issue. Yet." Jeff met her eyes. "But it's gonna be. Don't lie and say it won't."

Eliza blinked hard. She felt her face grow hot. She looked over at the silent AI, sitting in the co-pilot's chair, and gritted her teeth. "What was that about 'not telling Jeff', EDI?"

"I did not inform Jeff of your liason, Shepard." EDI paused, just for a beat, and then added. "He already knew."

\--

 **SHEP: how is the load going?**  
**_CORT: Almost ready to close up, Commander. Those Volus engineers don't move very quickly, but the pirates were more than willing to threaten them into hauling tail. James suggested locking down all the weapons and keeping the troops in the Shuttle Bay. He also instructed Keiko to send down food. He shifted the Volus to Port Observation._**  
**SHEP: sounds like a plan. i'm glad i have you guys to sort this stuff out.**  
**SHEP: in that vein... i know you already work yourself to death, and i know you're not interested in command training, but Joker is also pulling double-duty. i want to start giving you occasional command shifts.**  
**_CORT: Vega mentioned it a few days ago, Commander. I'm willing. If not exactly eager._**

Shepard blinked. It felt pretty damn cowardly all of a sudden to have done this over text, given how little grief it had entailed, compared to what she'd anticipated.

 **SHEP: sure? i mean, i know there's a lot of maintenance involved in the Armory, the supply chain, and now we're picking up stragglers everywhere**  
**_CORT: With all the Citadel resources online, Commander, Supply isn't nearly the headache it used to be. Mr. Vega pretty much has the passengers and the rest of the Armory under control. It's just the shuttle. Until we get another one, maintenance of the current Kodiak is priority. But I can do that and pull a duty shift now and then. Count on it._**  
**SHEP: i've been poking around, Cortez. i'll get you another shuttle, so you're not so stressed. Deal?**  
**_CORT: Deal, Commander._**

\--

Their last stop before leaving the Pylos Nebula was to orbit and scan the gas giant Isale. Liara had mentioned that there was something strange about its satellite-afflicted magnetic field that intrigued her, so they spent ten minutes collecting readings for their Science Officer. When Shepard messaged her to ask if she'd gotten all the data she wanted, the Shadow Broker was quite excited.

**_LTS: I'm done, Shepard. EDI was a great help. There is a brilliant physicist named Devin Jove, newly associated with the Crucible Project, who was looking for data on energy passing unimpeded through a magnetosphere. I think he will find this information especially helpful. I've already encoded it and sent it to Hackett. Thank you for stopping so I could get the readings._ **  
**SHEP: it was 15 minutes, Liara. to me that seems like a good risk-reward scenario. make sure you let me know if we're near any other anomalies you want to research. especially if they're that quick**

\--

Fortunately, this time, there was very little lag time in jumping Relays. They hit the Wasteland a little after 16:30 MST, and immediately sent off several ship pings to try to draw any Reaper ships in the system back to Fortis. They stopped to run a scan on Pietas and found an easily-recoverable ore site that was worth significant credits. Shepard made the call to grab it on their way back through the system; it was _clearly_ worth a half an hour of their time, but she felt she didn't dare delay getting to Invictus.

Whether because the Reapers had been distracted or had merely taken a break from arial bombardment, the _Normandy_ didn't encounter air support at Invictus. They landed the shuttle not far from the coordinates Sidonis had given them, and managed to transfer all the surviving Turian refugees to the _Normandy_ in four trips. It took the better part of an hour, but Shepard stored many memories from that away mission, including watching the Primarch getting to fight Reaper troops for the first time in days, and seeing how incredibly happy it made him. She also now had a mental snapshot of Sidonis and Garrus fighting side-by-side, though she wasn't sure if it made her happy... or sad.

The Marines in the Shuttle Bay encouraged the Irregulars to make room for the Turian fighters, and Keiko was again pressed to send up food. Eliza knew Garrus and Victus stayed behind in the Bay when she herself ran back up to the Bridge, but she wondered for a long time what the three men talked about.

She distracted herself by crafting a message to Aria T'Loak, one that basically told the Asari exile to "come get these pirates or I'm giving them to Bailey." She also wrote a longer message to Hackett and Anderson, informing them that the Bono Volus engineers volunteered to join the 'special construction project' and the Turian Veterans wished to be delivered back to Menae, while the families would remain on the Citadel; the Primarch had found them sponsorship for housing.

The single Relay hop back to the Serpent Nebula was quick, and the Alliance docks - forewarned of their coming, and apparently sick of the nonsense of just hours prior - ushered them into Bay 24 with little ceremony. Shepard did allow the woman to send transportation; Eliza herself made sure Ann avoided most of the crazy bustle in the Shuttle Bay, by sneaking her out of the airlock directly into a private car.

She watched for a while, as Steve, James, and Garrus supervised the slow offloading and re-location of all their prior passengers. Then she went to the Commons and made arrangements to re-stock the _Normandy_ with food, especially dextrose rations. She poked around the Presidum shops for a bit longer, eventually running into Liara doing what she had promised... hitting up Matriarch Aethyta for more free food.... and free information.

Eliza, about to dial up a cab to Bryson's lab at the Rapid Transport terminal, paused and reconsidered swinging by the Spectre office... just to see if Kaidan had checked in. All her inquires indicated that he'd been released from Huerta, yet stayed aboard the Citadel. But she couldn't put her finger on why she was worried, or why she suspected that he was holding something back from her... _again_. She had actually considered talking to him about James.

But he'd clearly gone to ground. Just like that.

\--

Ann Bryson was a mess.

Shepard had anticipated it, but it didn't make it any easier to watch. "Ann?"

"Oh, Commander. Yes, I'm sorry." She sniffed to clear her nose every other word. "Just- this is hard."

"Of course. You all right?" _What the hell do you expect her to **say** , Eliza?_

"Yes."

_OK, not that, certainly._

Then Ann hung her head and admitted "No," on an almost sob.

_OK, well, yeah, **that** I expected._

Bryson then summed up her mental state by adding "I don't know."

_Yeah... I've been there._

The dark-haired scientist cleared her throat. "My father and I didn't leave things in a great state."

 _Ahhhh._ "An argument?"

"Yes. It was... _trivial_. A disagreement on how to file some of the specimens. I was... _mad_ about something else - I don't remember what - and I took it out on him. So stupid." Her voice fell to a near-sob as she finished that admission.

 _I'm going to hate myself for this later, but we have GOT to get back on track._ "I understand. But we _really_ need your help."

That, at least, made Ann struggle to stand up. "I know. I know." She teetered on her feet for a second before seeming to gain strength. "I'm just-a, a little lost. Seeing all this again... he was so obsessed. Crazy sometimes."

Eliza picked something to say that was true and sounded safe. "I didn't get a chance to know him."

"Ah, sometimes I felt the same way. He was a _great_ man. A pioneer. But, he could be distant. I felt like an inconvenience growing up."

 _OK, maybe there is no safe thing to say._ "You sound angry." _And hurt. Deeply, deeply, hurt._

Ann walked over to the picture of her and her father sitting on the side table. "I was angry." She took a shaky breath. "Still am, I guess. But sometimes... he was SO full of stories, he nearly burst. I loved that about him. It's why I signed up for this work." She exhaled harshly. "I can't believe he's gone."

 _You know, we could avoided hours of this panic and pain if they'd only **called** her on Namakli and informed her of Garrett's passing._ Shepard struggled to bury her _own_ annoyance at how the Alliance had handled The Aurora Project. She strode to Bryson's side.

"We'll figure this out."

Ann met her gaze. "We _have_ to. I need to know what's on the other end of that artifact." Her eyes grew hard as she added "What he died for." She started to walk toward the loft stairs.

 _Well, that works. But-_ "Ann-" the scientist paused, "-you sure you're up for this?"

"Yes." This time Bryson actually sounded convincing. She turned to face Eliza. "When Leviathan took control of me, I remember being somewhere cold, and dark. But my father... taught me to _never_ be afraid of the dark."

\--

As Ann moved through the workstations, checking her father's data, Shepard wandered along behind her, pondering how she'd plundered this lab twice already yet felt NO closer to finding this Reaper-killing creature than she'd been two days ago.

She thought she heard something from the front room - a door opening, perhaps - but waited for Ann to take notice of it. When it didn't seem to phase Bryson, Eliza tried not to worry about it. It hadn't been a biotic, at least, since she felt nothing. She wasn't all that surprised to find James waiting, in between her and the now-shielded artifact.

"Hey, Lola. Need a hand?" His voice was mellow but teasing, and it sent shivers up her spine.

 _The absolute cheek. In front of Ann, even._ "What brings you down here, James?"

"Saw what happened to Ann back there at the dig site. That ain't right."

 _Ah. And if it happens **again**..._ "Well, make yourself comfortable." When her brain registered his smirk, she wanted to add _but not TOO comfortable_ , yet didn't.

She started to walk away when he called out to her, "Hey Lola! You see this thing? This is great!" He was looking at the husk head she herself had activated when she first entered the lab. He reached out to check something on the underside of the jaw, the head activated with a loud screeching noise, and he pulled his hands away with an aggravated "OUCH!"

Eliza pressed her lips together to prevent the laugh from escaping.

"Hey, EDI - husk bites... they don't turn you into a _husk_ or anything... right?"

The AI gazed back at Vega stoically as she advised "I recommend you apply medigel."

Shepard arched a brow at the speed with which he obeyed EDI's suggestion. "Oh, so when **EDI** tells you to apply medigel, you don't think twice."

"Hey, I _don't_ want to be turned into a husk."

"Uh huh. That's clearly why you were playing with it."

"I didn't say I wasn't curious about it, wouldn't touch it, didn't think it was cool. Just that I don't want to end up a mindless drooling idiot because I wanted to play with it." His eyebrow arched and he openly smirked at her.

She arched an eyebrow right back at him. _That's... another reference to that damn novel. Great, now we're talking in code again._

Vega was still observing the head. "Hey, if nobody claims this thing, we can take it with us? You know, for... research, or - I dunno, whatever."

Shepard sighed. "All right. Just don't tell anybody."

"Niiiiiiiiiceee." He paused, and Eliza just KNEW he was about to come out with something tailored to taunt her. "You think Esteban would let me set up bowling pins in the Cargo Bay?"

She snorted. "And just _when_ do you think you're going to find the time to _bowl_?"

James turned and grinned at her; one of those evil smiles that promised things Eliza didn't particularly want either of the other people present to perceive. "I don't know, Shepard. I'm hoping to find time for a lot of recreational opportunities, in between saving the galaxy."

Shepard just shook her head and turned to Ann, who'd been staring at them with a little half-smile on her face. "We didn't detect any emissions from the artifact."

EDI interjected, "But the Reapers were able to use the artifact to trace Leviathan somehow."

"My theory is that, most of the time, the artifact simply acts as a receiver. We'll only be able to trace Leviathan through it when it actively takes control of someone." Ann sounded slightly unsure, but also as if she was determined to explain her entire theory upfront. Shepard respected that.

EDI chimed in, "As it did on the asteroid." Eliza turned to look at the AI. _Good catch. It makes sense the Reapers allowed their forces to be controlled to get a stronger lock, probably hoping Leviathan was there._

Ann was speaking again. "-Leviathan doesn't bother communicating. I guess it and my father had something in common."

 _OUCH._ Shepard thought about Kane. About - as Liara had suggested - Anderson. _At least I had some support. Some attention._ She clenched her jaw as the memory of Finn pushed into her mind. _Even if some of it wasn't exactly **positive** attention._

EDI was chasing a rabbit. "You said Leviathan's control was similar to a quantum-entanglement communicator... which is untraceable."

_Ah. Huh. True._

Ann pivoted to look at EDI. Shepard wondered if Ann had figured out what EDI was. "Yes, but this isn't a _natural_ QEC. Leviathan has to send a _pulse_ through the artifact to alter your mind and create the quasi-QEC effect."

"And that _can_ be traced?" Shepard suddenly _knew_ were EDI was heading. Eliza wondered if she had the stomach to go through with it. She rather thought so. _Hell, I've opened my mind to plenty of stuff - Protheans, Reapers, Asari - and, in the end, none the worse for wear. Only when people shut my brain **down** , did I ever start to lose it._

Ann was speaking again... but apparently not following where EDI clearly lead. The scientist was still spouting theory. "Right, just like at the dig site. The Reapers were tracing the signal by activating the artifact." Ann proved she wasn't on the AI's wavelength when she began to murmur "My father wanted to be at that dig site. He was getting too old for long digs, but he _hated_ being stuck in the lab. He nearly missed my graduation because he was on a dig. Showed up still wearing his field gear. God..."

Eliza sympathized, she really did, but she could also hear the clock ticking down on the Summit. She carefully moved up behind Ann. James probably wouldn't like it, but they didn't have a hell of a lot of options left.

"Ann, I know this is hard. But if there's anything more you can tell us-"

The scientist suddenly straightened up. Eliza didn't like the look in her eyes, but at least she seemed _present_ again. "I don't think there's anything more I can tell you. But maybe, I can _show_ you."

 _UHT Oh. Maybe she **has** been listening to EDI._ "What are you saying?"

"The artifact only sends out a signal when Leviathan's _controlling_ someone. So let it control _me_."

Eliza looked back over her shoulder at the glowing blue orb. _Why does alien shit always **glow**? And why did she have to make this choice harder?_

"You could trace the signal."

_You're not up for this, Ann. *I* am._

"That's too dangerous." Eliza opened her mouth to explain that this was _her_ mission, and _her_ risk to take, but that was the moment Ann chose to finally get angry; she leaned forward, almost getting into Eliza's face.

"It's MY call, _not_ yours. You said I'm your last chance to find this thing."

Eliza grasped at something - _anything_ \- to say "You have NO idea what will happen." _I **do**. I've been messed with before._

"If we wait, the Reapers will get to Leviathan _first_. I'm the ONLY one whose spent enough time with it to do this."

Shepard paused. _I hadn't thought about that..._

"You're looking for something to fight the Reapers, Commander. I'm looking for the monster who murdered my father."

 _Ahhh. Well. THAT I understand._ Still, she tried one last time. "We still don't know _what_ we're looking for."

"Then let's find out." Ann gritted her teeth and turned to the artifact.

 _This... is like a new person._ Shepard sighed. _She's clearly willing. Even **upset** at me for trying to dissuade her. I can't turn it down._

"Shepard!" _And there it is... right on cue._ She turned to face James as he strode forward. "Sounds dangerous as hell."

_Yeah, well. I wonder what you'd say if you realized the alternative is **me** doing it?_

"Noted." She turned resolutely to their AI companion, who had already positioned herself at the tracking computer, as if she'd known that this would be the course of action, if not _who_ would be taking it. "EDI?"

"Energy signature locked in. Waiting for activation."

Shepard watched Ann sit down right next to the sphere. She watched James position himself behind the scientist, ready to grab her if she started to hurt herself or someone else. "This is pretty gutsy." _Are you sure?_

"I don't know know about guts. Crazy, maybe."

Vega leaned forward to Ann's right, pitching his voice low. "I'm gonna be right here." Eliza remembered that tone, remembered that warm reassurance laying behind her on a thin pallet in prison. _Like it was yesterday._

It worked on the scientist as well as it had worked on Shepard in the Null Room. "OK." She paused, but then closed her eyes and said "I'm ready."

Eliza could hear the worried edge to her voice, but having thought about Ann's argument regarding familiarity, couldn't allow herself to question Bryson's willingness a fourth time. "James... drop the containment shield."

Vega turned to the wall and hit the panel. "Shield is... dropped." He didn't sound exactly happy about it. 

Eliza sensed he was about to become even less happy, and she had no way to stop it. _This sucks._

Behind her EDI intoned, "Artifact online."

"Anything?"

"Nothing yet." Ann managed to sound both relieved _and_ disappointed. She shifted nervously, and then froze. "Wait-"

Behind Bryson, James slid into a horse stance, immovable as granite. He wrapped his hands around Ann's shoulders. Shepard frowned, not loving how watching her XO put his hands on another woman made her feel. _Not the time, Eliza. Not the time._

"There's something... I feel a chill." The scientist's eyes were starting to roll, and her face-

Shepard turned to look over her shoulder at the synth. "EDI?"

"No trace yet."

Suddenly there was an explosion of motion from the seat in front of her, and Eliza reacted, swiftly turning and throwing out her arms in a defensive posture. It became clear Vega had anticipated exactly this happening, as his hands shot out to grab Ann. Still, his voice was loud when he shouted "Holy HELL!"

Eliza watched James - **James** \- _struggle_ to hold _Ann_ back... and realized they'd made the right choice as to whom to allow Leviathan to control. _Things... would not have gone well if I'd done this. I'd have broken away already, probably used my biotics._

At the computer, EDI was rapidly narrowing their search parameters. "Signal is tracking. Maintain connection."

The voice that issued forth from the writhing scientist was rapidly evolving into the same one they'd heard at T-GES Mineral Works. And it was saying the same thing. "Turn back. The darkness can't be breached."

Watching Ann thrash was pissing Shepard off. Watching James using all his strength to hold the scientist back, while trying desperately not to hurt her, was as well.

EDI tossed another log on to that growing fire of annoyance: " _Maintain_ connection."

Eliza pointed through the lab toward the remains of Sovereign. " _Listen_ to me. *I* found you and the Reapers are _right_ behind me."

Ann/Leviathan vied for supremacy in the slight, dark-haired body. "You... have... **brought them**." The voice deepened as Leviathan won the fight. " **YOU are a THREAT.**

 _ **There** you are._ "So are _you_. I've seen what you can do. The war _needs_ you."

Ann's body had seemed to calm slightly; she shuddered, bent over the floor. " **There IS no war. There is only the HARVEST.** "

Eliza set her jaw. "EDI, do we have enough?"

EDI nodded toward the display, deadpan. "Partial lock. Maintain connection to narrow the search."

_Three systems. **Dammit**. If we don't get lucky... that's a lot of FTL time._

Shepard turned in time to catch a look of anger, panic, and perhaps even a hint of disgust on Vega's face. Ann began to struggle again. "You heard her; we got _enough_. I'm hitting the shield."

" _Belay_ that, Lieutenant." Eliza locked down; everything went cold and hard. _C'mon, Ann. Hang in there._

EDI, oblivious to the drama unfolding behind her, insisted "Signal is fading. _Maintain_ connection."

Shepard was near boiling point. She bent down to address the creature eye-to-eye. She was aware that this put her within attack range, but she was beyond caring. "We can _fight_ them. We can _win_ this."

Bryson was nearly slumped over double. " **The cycle can NOT be BROKEN.** "

"You're WRONG."

"Focusing the point of origin. Maintain connection to narrow the search."

As Shepard watched, blood begin to ooze from Ann's left nostril. _GodDAMMIT. You pinche chingdara._ The scientist began to thrash again.

James had clearly had enough. "I'm STOPPIN this."

Eliza agreed. "Raise the shield."

He slapped his hand behind him and hit the button, swiveling back to catch Ann as she slumped. His every movement reminded Eliza of their nights in the Null Room, of his solicitous care, and how much he probably hated her for the choice she'd just made.

_He's still dealing with Fehl Prime. He won't talk about it. And to be fair, **neither** of us likes this. But sometimes - when it's your call - you have to do things you don't like. And then regret every minute you might have wasted doing the **wrong** things._

James was breathing hard, and he shifted around to crouch next to Bryson, exclaiming "Jeez... look at her."

Shepard also knelt down, trying to see if the nose bleed had stopped. "Ann. Ann, are you all right?"

She was moving and conscious, and appeared to be trying to answer. She raised a hand to her temple, and spoke in her normal voice. "I'm not sure."

Eliza felt, more than saw, James shift his disapproving gaze sideways at her.

Bryson finally appeared to get her breathing under control, but she added "It hurts."

Shepard was a little surprised James hadn't hit the scientist with medigel already. She herself was considering it, but wanted to make sure there wasn't any more information forthcoming. "It's going to be OK. You did _great_." She stood up. "EDI, did we get anything?"

The AI _may_ have finally realized the tension level in the room. Her voice was soft when she answered, "Yes, Shepard. But it will take time to search. Coordinates sent to the Normandy."

Eliza prayed the damage had been minimal. But if it saved them two hours of search time, found them Leviathan, and got them to the Summit before the salarians left in disgust, she'd accept the consequences.

She glanced back as she caught motion out of the corner of her eye. Ann was endeavoring to stand. James had hung his head as he softly intoned "This had better be worth it."

Eliza grasped the rail of the computer display and squeezed. _Hate me if you want, but these are the choices that come with Command._ "Agreed, Lieutenant." She bent forward for a few seconds, feeling as if his disapproval actually was crushing her. _Did you think I was joking when I said what I did on that rooftop... right after I **Threw** a bomb into the sky that ended up injuring a bunch of children?_ "Anything else, Ann?"

Bryson stumbled a bit as she walked forward, and Eliza watched James debate whether or not he should try to help her, obviously wary of spooking her. His face was so easy to read. "It was dark. Cold. I _can_ tell you this much. Leviathan... is angry."

Shepard clenched her jaw. "It knows we're getting close."

Ann met her eyes. "I think it wants to kill you."

Eliza reached out a hand to steer Ann toward the stairs. She dialed up a medigel dose. "Well, Leviathan can damn well _get in line_. EDI, holo-call Huerta."

\--

They left the Citadel within fifteen minutes. Shepard was glad she'd ordered no shore leave, since it meant no waiting on crew to straggle back while she paced, feeling like they didn't have a minute to lose. She contacted the Alliance dock even before they left the lab, calling for a Priority jump, and the docking officials handled the small matter of shoving her request through Citadel channels. That meant there was literally no wait once they maneuvered free of the Citadel; Widow opened for them, and they got to Sigurd's Cradle about a half an hour later. Shepard realized those three jumps _could_ have taken much longer, but - not knowing how long they'd be in FTL, nor how long it would take to deal with Leviathan - it felt like every minute of the ten they wasted, waiting for Relay clearance at Omega (automated, thank God, or else Cerberus might have tried to take over its functionality completely), was the minute that would make them late to the summit.

\--

They entered the last hour of October sixteenth... and guessed wrong. Shepard tried not to completely lose her cool in front of EDI and Joker, but it was sometimes so difficult to accept the limitations of their scanning software. Eliza knew that it bothered James, too. They'd discussed their earlier diversion to Dirada in such terms.

Ironically, they managed to discover and retrieve a large cache of dextrose rations on Triginta Petra. Eliza found this slightly hysterical, since she'd just _purchased_ a huge new order of replacement dextrose rations after their Turian guests ate them out of house and home. Still, she assumed with Summit upcoming, the food would come in handy.

It looked like the agribusinesses on Triginta Petra had been stocking up in anticipation of the war. Even though the farmers had died or evacuated, there were crates and crates of both animal and plant-based foods left behind. Eliza went down with the ground team, trying to keep too busy with lifting and stacking crates to begrudge the half an hour loading and transport required.

Saturday inevitably clicked over to Sunday as they contemplated the long FTL to either Decoris or Psi Tophet; EDI informed Eliza that - at this point - it would only cost them an extra fifteen minutes to scan Decoris for resources, so Shepard reluctantly agreed to the diversion. Decoris obviously failed to offer up Leviathan, but one of the planets - Laena - had an old mining operation. It only took another fifteen minutes to recover ore worth a considerable amount of credits, but Shepard - who HAD a ton of credits (albeit locked up on Earth) - _chafed_ at the delay.

\--

The best that could be said for exploring Sigurd's Cradle in those few hours was that they ran into no Reaper troops. _Normandy_ exited Decoris and began the short FTL to Psi Tophet. Eliza went down to the Armory and began throwing herself into her armor as soon as they reached the halfway point in the flight. She caught James' eyes on her as she smacked her vambrances into place.

" **What**?"

He threw up his hands, which _had_ been running over the greaves of his own dark blue-black armor, automatically performing his standard pre-mission check on all the gear that went out. "Whoah, Lola. _Easy_. I was just lookin."

Eliza suddenly realized she was glowing, and she took two quick steps back from the Armory workstation. "I-" She took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm kind of wound."

Vega snorted. "No kidding."

Eliza clenched her jaw. "I said I'm sorry. I'm doing my best."

James looked at her and carefully set the leg armor he'd been examining back down on the workstation. He came forward and reached out an arm toward her, moving slowly and purposefully. "This has been a pretty intense hunt, Shepard. I get it. But I'm not your enemy." He looked into her face. "I don't hold anything that happened against you. You made a tough call. Ann will be fine. And if we'd needed three more hours to search the other two systems we probably _would_ have been late."

Eliza's eyes welled with sudden tears. "You don't get how hard this is. Not really."

James, who had been in the process of wrapping both arms around her, paused, leaned back, and said quietly, "Yeah. I do."

_Fehl Prime._

Shepard pulled in a huge, shaky breath and nodded, leaning forward on to his chest. "Maybe you do."

They stayed like that, oblivious to Cortez watching from a few meters away, until Shepard pulled back and caught the pilot's deep blue eyes staring at them, obviously amused.

"Esteban, _métete en tus asuntos, por favor_." James had also noticed the shuttle pilot's frank gaze.

" _Pero, esto es tan interesante_ , Mr. Vega."

Eliza felt her face grow hot as the translations caught up. James snorted, then turned back to her. "Don't mind him. He-" Vega looked at the ceiling for a few seconds, then down at her again, "-he just watched me kick around the ship for months, missing you. And he's not stupid." James raised his voice and called out to Cortez, " _Normalmente_."

Over at the Procurement Terminal, Steve was laughing.

It felt as if her cheeks couldn't _get_ any hotter. "Oh."

She nodded at Cortez, and he grinned, nodding back. Then his face smoothed out, and he gestured to the Kodiak. "I know how important this one is, Commander. I did a full systems check during our Relay transfers. She's in tip-top shape. We're going to find this thing."

Eliza suddenly felt as if she were two people slowly merging into one: the hard-as-nails Commander that everyone on the ship who didn't know her well _expected_ , and the woman who had developed inconvenient-but-real feelings for her first officer.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I'm concerned things could get a little... rough." 

\--

"Cortez, what's the status on the probe we launched?"

"Tracking it now, Commander. I've confirmed that Leviathan's signal originates from this planet. Heard how - ah - Ann helped us locate it. It's pretty spooky stuff."

James still seemed rattled. "Never seen anything like it. Can't imagine what's waitin for us down there."

Javik was more settled - cold, even - his voice an even whisper of threat. "A Reaper-killer. That is all that matters. Even if it doesn't _want_ to be found."

Shepard took the steps back into the back of the shuttle, joining them. "It doesn't have a choice - we're here."

Vega closed with her. She could see the tension in his face, the set of his shoulders. "Sure, but _now_ what? Let's suppose it IS a Reaper - is that the kind of help we want?"

Eliza gritted her teeth. _Why are you bringing this up **now**? Now is NOT the time._ "Nobody says we have to be friends with it. But if this thing has the rest of the Reapers worried, then we need its help."

Cortez yelled back from the pilot's seat. "Commander, new readings from the probe. It's narrowed down Leviathan's location." He paused. "You're not gonna like it."

 _Great. Because the day was going so well._ She strode forward into the cockpit once more. "Let's hear it."

"There's nothing but ocean. I show a concentration of structures floating on the surface, but the probe's giving us a signal below that. _Way_ below."

"Underwater?" _'The darkness can not be breached.' Damn. Just our luck._

"Looks that way. Shuttle _should_ still be able to reach it."

 _Uhhhh. OK._ "That's possible?"

"The Kodiak is spec-ed to nearly a thousand atmospheres, but I've never actually tested that."

"Guess we're gonna find ou-"

Suddenly the shuttle lurched in mid-air. And started to dive, despite Cortez' expert (and instantaneous) corrections.

"STATUS." Eliza grabbed onto the ceiling to brace herself as Steve fought to control the contortions and maintain altitude.

"SOME KIND OF PULSE HIT US," Cortez shouted back, fingers flying over the dials and switches. "SYSTEMS ARE SHUTTING DOWN." Shepard watched him lean back and yell over his shoulder "BRACE FOR IMPACT!"

Eliza braced... but it didn't help. As the Kodiak hit some air sheer and turned almost completely sideways, everyone was knocked to the floor. The shuttle crash-landed - with the sound of rending metal pin-balling off various rusted towers - onto the deck of one of the derelict ships.

Shepard rose shakily to her knees. Then her feet. She tested all her limbs and everything seemed sound. _Well... I guess James is going to have something to tease Cortez about for a good long while._

\--

"Everyone all right?" Eliza stared out at the roiling sea and felt her stomach sink. _Not good._

James didn't reply, but Javik grated out "I've survived far worse, Commander."

 _I never thought I'd be grateful for laconic vengeance. At least I don't have to be concerned about him losing his focus._ "How's the shuttle, Cortez?"

"Checking now. I'll see if I can get power restored."

Eliza sighed. _Yeah, that'd be a good first step._ "Copy that. We'll look around."

They turned right and left, checking out the magnitude of the detritus. Finally Vega spoke up. "Busted ships, makeshift shelters. We're not the first ones downed by that pulse."

 _OK. He's focused too... just thinking three steps ahead._ "Could be Leviathan's last line of defense."

They began exploring, finding equipment, weapons, and datapads full of the accounts of crewmen downed by the pulse. They also found the bodies of people so long-dead that they were no longer decaying. Ships that were so old, Vega opined he couldn't recognize them. They found an old massive Atlas-type mech; the timbre of James' voice was reverential when he said "Nice-looking machine. Too bad it's a wreck."

And they found more artifacts scattered around the ship. Glowing, active. Shepard understood instantly how all the people who crashed here had eventually just succumbed to their fate.

And then... they found Reapers. Or the Reapers found _them_.

The battle would have gone better if _either_ of her away team members had listened to her when she ordered them to 'protect the shuttle.' _One of these days, Vega and I are going to have a long talk about WHEN to tactically retreat._

It took Cortez quite a while to restore power to the Kodiak. In the mean time, Shepard continued to kill. She lost count of how many Reaper troops she downed. She just kept blowing them up. Eventually, the shuttle lifted off, and also began firing on the Reaper troops. After too short a time, and perhaps inevitably, another pulse took it out. As Cortez confirmed he was under attack, they raced the length of the ship to defend it once again.

When they'd knocked back the initial invasion, her pilot broke the bad news. "Shuttle's a mess, Commander. That pulse knocked it right out of the air; we're not going anywhere."

Javik didn't seemed to grasp what Cortez was saying. "The Normandy could extract us."

Eliza was about to explain, when Steve cut in, "Same thing would happen to her, and the landing won't be as pretty. I'd say Leviathan has some sort of a defense system in place."

More troops dropped down in blazing fireballs, and Javik dispatched them. Shepard wondered what James was doing. _Goddammit. We're trapped._

"Then we aren't getting out of here until we _find_ it. So how do we do that?"

Cortez didn't even stop to ponder her question. It was clear he'd already been trying to figure out how to get her to the probe _without_ a functional shuttle. "Well, you might be able to use the mech. Looks like it's rigged for diving."

 _Uhhhhhh._ "A _diving_ mech?"

"It's a Triton model. Military-grade. Repurposed for deep-sea exploration. As long as the seawater hasn't corroded it, you should be good to go.''

_This... has to be one of the stupider things I've EVER done. This one's for **you** , Ann._

"Well... if that's what we have to do, let's get started." _I can just imagine what James is going to have to say-_

" _Wait_ a second. Are we _seriously_ saying you're gonna-" 

Eliza didn't dare look over at him. She concentrated, instead, on Cortez; the pilot obliged, all-business. "First, we'll need to restore power to get that cargo door open."

"How?"

Behind her, she heard Javik mutter an answer to Vega, "It appears we are."

"These old Ballard-Class ships are equipped with exterior power sockets. They use them for emergency repairs. We can strip the cells from the shuttle and use those for juice. Hang on, I'll get ya started."

_Thank God we got marooned with someone whose tech knowledge **far** exceeds mine._

A shadow loomed behind her as James closed the space between them. "This is _loco_ , even for you."

Eliza squeezed her eyes shut. _This one's gonna hurt._ She clenched her jaw and pivoted to face him. "We have to find Leviathan. We're NOT dying here like all of the others."

At that moment, Cortez reappeared with a fat cylinder in his hand. "Got a cell for you, Commander."

And the race was on.

\--

The next twenty minutes of Shepard's life would forever feel like one of her night terrors. She had disjointed memories of racing all over the ship, jumping over Reaper troops, finally being told by Cortez that the mech was charged, and climbing into it only to discover both of her shipmates had fallen to a horde of Brutes. She remembered firing and firing and watching the huge creatures fall... then Steve telling her to bring the Triton over to him for inspection. And then... James tried again.

"Whoah. Hey, Lola. Are you really serious about this plan?" His eyes were darker now, pleading.

Eliza popped open the Triton's hatch and stared down at her XO. She hardened her heart, heard herself tell him something trite about having come too far to stop now.

Cortez seemed to either be so completely concentrated on the Triton that he didn't notice the tension electrifying the air between Shepard and Vega, or he was doing his damndest to ignore it. Eliza suspected the latter. "OK, seals check out. Oxygen pressure is nominal. Systems are a go. It's as ready as I can make it."

 _Well... no sense putting it off._ "Let's go."

Cortez glanced once to his left, where Vega stood immobile, and then looked back at her. "Take care down there, Commander."

She heard herself tell them she was closing the hatch, powering everything on. Cortez normalized their com-link, and she could hear him speaking. She strode to the side of the ship, counted down. "Commencing dive in three... two... one..." 

Just before she hit the water, she also heard James. " _Prométeme que volverás ¿Sabes lo que me hará si no regresas?_ "

\--

The nightmare got darker as she explored the sea floor, trying to find the probe. And when she finally located Leviathan...

All her life, Eliza had run from the memories of having someone bigger and stronger hold her down and take what they wanted; the experience of the Leviathans seizing her might have mind-crippled a younger Eliza. As it was, she was far too angry about having had to fight the Reapers alone all this time - and far too concerned about getting back to James - to allow the ancient creatures to completely crush her.

While her omni-tool recorded the entire encounter, Shepard fought to ask every question she could think of before she actually lost consciousness. There HAD to be a way to get this information to the Alliance. She couldn't fail now. Not _now_.

The end of their interaction was hazy. Firing the thrusters on the mech, reflexive. She vaguely remembered _falling_ out of the Triton to the deck of the wrecked ship below, and then the feel of James' arms as he picked her up and half-carried, half-dragged her to the safety of the Kodiak.

Which had power again, somehow. It wasn't warm in there, though. She could feel someone rubbing her feet and legs through her armor. She thought she heard Javik yell something about "freezing." Someone hit her with medigel, and the stim effect began to break the fog in her thoughts. It also caused her to begin to cough up... seawater?

Panicked, she swung her arms, waved off the people touching her. She scrambled up into the seat, automatically telling her crew that she was 'fine'.

Her head felt like someone had used it as a battering ram.

Somewhere far away, she heard Cortez say "We're lucky we got you back."

Somewhere closer, she heard James add quietly, "Gracias a Dios."

\--

A small crowd made their ragged way up to the MedBay that early morning. Even _Javik_ allowed Dr. Chakwas to run some scans, give him a shot or two of medigel, and to make little "tsking" noises over the state of his health. He exited MedBay first, however, preferring to limp back to his sheltered quarters, and not continue _touching_ all the surface of the MedBay while he worked on healing his injuries.

Cortez wasn't in bad _physical_ shape, but Eliza could tell he was concealing a massive dose of shock and trauma under that blithe exterior. She was relieved when the doctor gave him an oral-dose sedative and told him to go to Crew Quarters, take it, and sleep for at least two hours.

When he protested, Shepard raised her head from her biobed and glared at him. "The Kodiak will wait. _You are **off-duty**_. GO. SLEEP." Then she grabbed her head again, and slowly eased her torso back down... because **ow**.

She had closed her eyes again but heard him murmur "Yes, Commander." She heard the door swish open/slide closed, and thought _as long as he's following orders, good enough_.

"My, you're in a state."

Eliza cracked open one eyelid and glared at Karin Chakwas. "I don't need a lecture. I'm just happy I don't have the bends."

The doctor frowned as she ran another set of scans. "Oh? Don't you?" Eliza opened both eyes wide and stared at Chakwas, who gave her a mirthless chuckle in return. "You _are_ showing some signs of decompression sickness, Shepard. You're lucky Cerberus rebuilt you with all those microprocessors, merrily ferrying bubbles out into your lungs as we speak. You're also lucky you weren't down there longer than fifteen minutes or so. As it is, you're going to have to stay here for a few hours, while I help your system remove some of the built-up nitrogen from your bloodstream. I have to say - this is a new one, even for you." The older woman wandered away, shaking her head. Eliza grumbled softly to herself and closed her eyes again.

"We've got to stop meeting like this." From her right, from the direction of one of the other beds, came a familiar voice. She couldn't help but smile.

"In MedBay? Or the wee hours of the morning?"

A chuckle. "Sort of looking forward to meeting up with you in the wee hours of the morning, but I'm sorta tired of us both getting our asses kicked, and having to spend our quality time together in _here_. How's your head?"

"Still killing me. In fact, if you could remove it from my shoulders for an hour, I'd appreciate it."

A small chuckle. "I seem to remember you asking me to do that before."

Eliza smiled, also remembering. _NEVER thought I'd **smile** when I remembered the null room._ "How's your 'everything _but_ your head'?"

She heard him laugh, then groan. "Damn Brutes. You'll be happy to hear I have learned not to take on five of them at once."

Shepard tried desperately not to laugh with him; her head wouldn't permit it. "I'm glad. Let's never do that again. Deal?"

"Deal."

The footfalls of a determined stride fell in between the biobeds, and Shepard felt Chakwas give her another injection. "Since it appears you intend to be reasonable and stay in MedBay - _this time_ \- you may both have a rapid-acting analgesic. In your case, Shepard, one that will not negatively interact with oxygen treatment."

Eliza snorted. "You're too kind, doctor." 

To her right, she heard Vega _also_ snort, and say "'Bout time, doc."

As the pain in her head _finally_ began to back off, Eliza thought maybe, just maybe, she could sleep. And then she remembered what she'd wanted to talk to Vega about.

 _It can wait. He's probably asleep._ She nodded to herself, and then the other part of her brain insisted, _you could at least ask._

 _Goddammit._ She pitched her voice at just above a whisper and said "You asleep yet?"

"Nope." A pause. "Thinking about it. Still sort of... freaked out. I keep needing to look over to make sure you're really there." Another pause. "I don't think you understand how impossible it was to just... _watch_ you jump off the side of that ship."

She remembered what her omni-tool had translated just before she hit the water. _Oh._

"Well, I'm here."

"I'm glad."

She cleared her throat. "I just- I wanted to tell you something. About, um, Ann."

The sound of something large, shifting restlessly, came from the biobed next to her. "Lola, I know why you did what you did. In the end, you went through the same thing as Ann _anyway_. I told you while we were armoring up... I _get_ it."

"No, I mean-" Eliza stopped, and tried to figure out how to say what she felt like she needed to say. "You... sort of had your hands all over her."

She could hear another shifting noise. His voice, when it came, was both surprised and amused. "Would you rather she'd attacked you and you had to Reave her?"

" _No_. I'm just saying... maybe I get it now."

"Get what?"

Shepard also rearranged herself on the biobed, and barely muttered, "The Kaidan thing."

The other bed gave a loud-ish squeal as James evidently jerked in shock. "Speak slowly into the microphone, Lola, so I have this recorded for posterity. I show a _little_ kindness to someone who lost her entire team and then found out her father was dead - not to mention preventing her from hurting you - and _now_ you understand why I'm jealous of your ex?" She heard him move again; it almost sounded like he had sat up, so she swiveled her neck and opened her eyes. Vega was, indeed, sitting on the edge of his biobed, _staring_ at her. "Your model-perfect, high-ranking, insanely-powerful, head-over-heels-still-in-love-with-you ex?"

She looked down at his chin and mumbled, "Well... put it THAT way..."

"Hey, I'm _glad_ my gut told me to show up, glad you had EDI to do the tech stuff, and you didn't HAVE to hurt Ann. Or let Leviathan control _you_ which - look, given how hard it was for me to restrain **Ann** , I don't imagine _that_ would have ended all that well for the denizens of the Citadel. Ms. Threw Me Into a Wall Without an Amp the First Time I Touched You."

Eliza blushed and closed her eyes again. "Yeah. It didn't take long to realize that my being the one controlled was a Bad Plan. And look at me now."

She started in surprise as someone reached out and gently turned her face back to the right. She opened her eyes, and James was leaning in. She could barely hear him when he whispered, "Oh, it's not a bad plan. Just need to choose someone different to do the controlling."

Her body contorted toward his. She couldn't seem to stop it. He was curling toward her like a wave, pulling her into his undertow, threatening to swamp her. Her head still ached fiercely, but it somehow couldn't dim the crazy desire to lean into him - _all_ the way in - until they were one entity. "You have someone in mind?"

He ran his lips down her jaw, back up to her ear, and whispered. " _Si. Promento._ "

Suddenly, a shadow fell over both of them and the outraged voice of Dr. Karin Chakwas stated emphatically. " _One_ shot of painkiller - _just_ one - and here you both are. YOU-" Eliza jumped a bit, but it was James getting yelled at, "-OVER there. NOW."

Shepard couldn't help it. She snickered. And watched as Vega - looking thoroughly cowed - made his slow way across the room to the biobed opposite hers.

Chakwas glared at her. "And _you_ , STOP encouraging him, or I will send him to Crew Quarters. He's not nearly as injured as you are, this time."

Eliza grinned. "Yes, Mom."

Karin sighed, a long-suffering noise of exasperation. "Again, heaven forbid."

From across the room came a plaintive "Hey, Lola-"

She grinned at Dr. Chakwas, who threw up both hands and stalked back to her computer terminal. Shepard used her abs to lift herself up a bit again, trying not to jar her IV. "Yeah?"

"Remind me to tell you later where I hid that bottle of Serrice Ice brandy I bought in September."

Chakwas' chair whipped back around and her mouth fell open, as James and Eliza both started to laugh helplessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITS: (video is at https://youtu.be/6FacrZ8Xp90)
> 
> (1) MAJOR vid editing in the lab conversations. look Bioware, i understand you needed an interactive mechanic, but the method of having to click on people to move conversations is clunky as HELL on film. removed a bunch of weird-feeling pauses. edited audio to replace "Commander" in every instance (at this point in their relationship, the use of her rank just feels off) (so this is your head's up that if James uses her rank, something is likely seriously wrong). there was also a bit of editing of the Renegade interrupt; the scene is more 'ship-compliant. lastly, do we really want Shepard basically bullying Ann into going downstairs? i took out the repetitive "We need your help." now Ann moves on her own, as befits someone who is about to risk their life. similar edits took place during the combat.
> 
> (2) Ann calling the shuttle was removed. if no one bothered contacting Ann from the lab to let her know her father was dead, HOW does she call the shuttle all the hell the way out in Sigurd's Cradle? could we make up our minds as to what a QEC is able to do, please? AND who HAS one? also, call to Hackett got punted to next video cause reasons.
> 
> (3) we'd likely be better at treating [the bends](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decompression_sickness) in the future, but - due to physics - it'd still be A Thing.
> 
> MODS:
> 
> EGM is responsible for "Veterans vs Prisoners" (Sidonis and Turian refugees), and being able to find/buy another shuttle eventually. 
> 
> SPANISH:  
> métete en tus asuntos, por favor ~ mind your own business, please  
> Pero, esto es tan interesante~ but this is so interesting  
> Prométeme que volverás ~ promise me you'll come back  
> ¿Sabes lo que me hará si no regresas? - Do you know what it will do to me if you don't return?
> 
> \--
> 
> TIMELINE:
> 
> ~11:00 leave Zaherin (Pylos Nebula) LONG hr FTL to Satent (Pylos Nebula). EDI/Joker/Normandy is searching Pylos Nebula for assets.
> 
> ~12:30 scanned and found resources on Boro - Terminus forces for Aria AND Volus Shield Engineers. James stows everyone in their proper places; Volus into Port Observation, Terminus troopers in the Shuttle Bay. takes close to an hr to find/load everyone. 
> 
> ~14:00 leave Boro/Satent. LONG FTL to Dirada (hr)
> 
> ~15:00 found only fuel in Dirada 
> 
> ~15:30 short 30 min FTL back to Nariph/Relay. scanned Isale, gathered data.
> 
> ~16:00 Nariph (5 min delay), to Omega Nebula Relay (20 min delay - Cerberus blockage forming) to Crescent Nebula Relay (10 min) to Fortis (Minos Wasteland).
> 
> ~16:30 in Minos; scanned Pietas to hopefully distract Reapers (home system), found an easily-recoverable ore site that was worth significant credits, decided to grab it after refugees.
> 
> ~17:30 long FTL to Caestus (hr); takes an hr to fight off Reaper troops and load Turian refugees from Invictus. they end up split - children and non-combatants in the Lounge, and fighters in the Shuttle Bay. Primach Victus and Garrus visit.
> 
> ~18:30 refugees are getting settled and they're on their way back to Fortis/Relay. (long FTL)
> 
> ~20:00 arrive back in Fortis, grab ore. Shepard sends emails to Aria, Alliance, about passengers.
> 
> ~20:30 leave Fortis/Minor Wasteland, ONE quick jump to Widow. they dock at Citadel (06:30/morning on Citadel). private car is sent for Ann. Garrus, James, and Cortez supervising the offloading of passengers while Shepard pokes around the Presidum, buys more dextrose rations, overhears Liara talking to her father again.
> 
> ~21:00 Shepard heads to Bryson Lab with EDI. James shows up. they figure out approximately where Leviathan is.
> 
> ~22:00 Shepard pushes the Normandy out of dry dock almost before all the arrangements with the Alliance officials are, well, official.
> 
> ~22:30 Serpent/Widow/Citadel to Eagle Nebula to Omega (delay) to Sigurd's Cradle (Skepsis)
> 
> ~23:00 they narrowed down the search to one of two systems and they guess wrong (30 min FTL to Lenal). they DO recover a bunch of extra dextrose rations on Triginta Petra (ironic)
> 
> ~24:00 long FTL to either Decoris or Psi Tophet. Joker and EDI inform Shepard that it would only cost them an extra 15 minutes to scan Decoris for resources, so she agrees. one of the planets - Laena - had an old mining operation. short stop for a lot of credits.
> 
> **October 17th, 2186**
> 
> ~00:30 scanned Psi Tophet. found Leviathan.
> 
> ~01:30 after twenty-minute flight, shuttle crashes onto a derelict ship. fight with Reaper forces. Shepard goes into the ocean.
> 
> ~02:00 Triton mech suddenly catapults to surface, Leviathan disposes of Reaper forces, shuttle is allowed to leave.
> 
> ~02:30 shuttle returns to Normandy; entire away team ends up in MedBay. Cortez and Javik are the first to return to duty. Shepard and Vega pretty badly-wounded, have another talk.


	13. Special Tactics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat."
> 
> ~Sun Tzu
> 
> i had a pretty long work week. throw in some family histrionics and some house drama and season liberally with THIS IS A FRICKEN LONG CHAPTER, and - you guessed it - i'm behind again. still, i hope you enjoy it.

Vega didn't remember the third Brute that landed on him.

Since there was sketchy, jump-cut vid (off Cortez' omni-tool), and he'd had a ten minute shuttle ride to review it, he _knew_ that at least three of the giant Reapers had landed on (or half-on) him before he fell unconscious (or half-dead) in the lee of one of the ship's metal ducts. 

But he didn't remember it happening. 

He remembered triggering a stim, one of the Brutes falling as he shot it repeatedly with burning ammo, watching as Shepard finally climbed into the mech... and the next thing he knew, Esteban was giving him another shot of medigel. Helping him carefully move his arms and legs around. Trying to ascertain if he'd broken anything (or _everything_ ).

He remembered thinking Javik was looking awfully damn spry for a fifty-thousand year old alien who'd just been through a battle with a half-dozen Brutes. He also remembered feeling a little bitter about that fact, since his entire body was protesting standing... and Eliza was about to jump into an icy ocean on a god-forsaken planet. He remembered despairing that he'd ever see her again.

And he remembered watching her do it; what _that_ felt like.

He'd never forget how time had seemed to warp; to stretch, dream-like, and twist. How a quarter of an hour had felt like four. How the Brutes began to close in again. How the three of them had started to discuss falling back to the inside of the shuttle.

The moment that the Titan catapulted to the surface, dumping an unconscious Shepard onto the deck, was _burned_ on his brain. He remembered Cortez yelling _'don't be a fool'_ at him, and how he'd run into the middle of the Brutes without thought; he'd barely noticed them. He remembered feeling relief so strong - it reminded him of having survived the Eastside bomb - when he felt her breathing. Concern just as strong when he realized how very cold she was. And then, only then, shock... when the Brutes began to fight each _other_ , rather than him.

Vega fiddled with the controls until he finally elevated the head of his biobed to the point where he could again see Eliza, through the goalposts of his feet.

"James," Chakwas drifted over to his side, voice pitched low.

He tilted his head slightly toward her, but refused to take his eyes off the other bed. "Yeah?"

"She's going to be fine. You have my word. She's already deeply asleep. I'm not going to let her leave MedBay until her blood gas levels are normal. So she'll _be here_ when you wake up in two hours." Chakwas side-stepped until she was at the foot of his bed, her clear intention to break his line of sight.

He frowned as his eyes met hers. "You weren't there."

"Young man," Karin's voice was still soft, but had acquired an edge. "I've been on three tours with that woman. I've watched her thwart this invasion twice already. Watched her die. Watched her come _back_ from death. Opened my eyes from cryo-sleep to find she'd saved my life. You think a little dip in the ocean is going to stop her?" Chakwas paused, waited until James glanced at her, before she added "There's only _one_ thing I worry about hurting her now."

James could feel his frown deepen. He stopped trying to look around the doctor and met her gaze again. "What is that?"

" **You**." James felt himself react to that verbal blow, and Chakwas held up a hand as she continued. "She cares for you, James. But she's already been through heartbreak with Alenko. Oh, she'd dismiss it at this point; things being what they are. But she doesn't need another distraction right now. As her doctor _and_ her friend, I'm asking you to carefully consider whether or not you're serious about this relationship. If you are..." Karin paused, then looked at the ceiling and seemed to sigh, "I'll help you. As much as I'm able." Her light eyes locked on his face. "If you're not... you need to back off, before you shatter this crew into pieces."

James felt his jaw loosen, his mouth open. However, words failed to come out.

The doctor didn't seem to expect him to respond, because she suddenly jabbed him with something new; something that hit him like another Brute. Every muscle went heavy and leaden. " _Twenty_ of your two hundred and six bones have micro-fractures. In case you are math-challenged, allow me to inform you that _ten percent_ of your body is broken. Go. To. SLEEP."

James fell into a drugged slumber. And the dreams came. 

\--

Eliza was indeed still asleep when James woke up. He instinctively turned his head toward the doctor's workstation, and she - alerted by some mysterious physician's sixth sense - was already standing, activating her omni-tool, walking toward him.

"How is she?" James held his voice to near-whisper, loathe to wake Shepard since she appeared to have managed to sleep longer than he had.

"Doing much better," Chakwas answered, sweeping her left arm over his legs and torso. Her face pulled into frustrated squint; she gave an aggravated sigh.

Vega arched a brow, looking at her. "What?"

She shrugged. "Once you were unconscious, I used the bone growth accelerator on your legs. The micro-fractures in both tibias and fibulas have healed, as well as the left femur and ankle bones. But you _technically_ still have a broken left radius and ulna, as well as several cracked ribs." She frowned again, still reading the holo on her omni-tool. "Am I reading this right? Just how many times have you cracked your ribs? You do _wear_ your armor, yes?"

James suddenly flashed back to the Null Room. He shook it off. "I'm a melee fighter, doc. Broken bones come with the territory."

Dr. Chakwas sighed again. "Well, I'm willing to release you to quarters. Joker acceded to Dr. T'Soni's request to divert to Alpha Draconis; we're currently in FTL back to the Relay. He wanted me to advise you and Shepard that since he knew our route, and requested advance Relay clearance, Normandy will be in the Annos Basin at oh-five-forty-five."

Vega's brows rose. _Oh ho. Shepard and I check out and the **Shadow Broker** orders an extra FTL flight or two? What happened **there**?_ "If I'm picking up what you're putting down, Doc, you're telling me you want to jab me with another stim and have me go back to sleep, or do something _else_ nice and quiet for another hour."

Karin beamed. "Eureka! I think he's got it." She met his gaze, face smoothing out, eyes serious, "If only _all_ my advice sunk in as quickly."

Vega cleared his throat, realized how loud it sounded and winced, worried he could have disturbed Eliza. "I heard you, Doc. I just..." He struggled to sit up, forced it, winced again as his ribs protested the action.

Chakwas swung in and jabbed him through his uniform, next to the sterum on his left side. Right underneath his heart. James tried _really_ hard not to think about how significant the gesture felt in the context of their conversation.

"Thanks." He eased himself to his feet. His legs felt markedly better, like they would hold him up again, even without armor. He began to limp out of MedBay, eyes on Shepard's sleeping form. He paused as the door slid open. "Just... I heard you." 

Chakwas nodded at him, and he left.

\--

James managed to shower without help. Even the thought of asking for help (from whom? _Cortez?_ ) bothered him. The idea of asking _Eliza_ for help, on the other hand, just made everything a little bit worse. Then he started thinking about whether or not _she_ would need help getting cleaned up before the Summit, and he realized he was locking the damn lavatory door for a few minutes. Luckily, no one came by and hit the pad, which would have necessitated a shouted explanation.

He realized he hadn't even thought about his dress uniform since he stripped it off after Mars, felt fortunate that someone in Crew Services had laundered it, and it was living in his locker. He glanced into the mirror in the bathroom and automatically stripped off the blazer again. He desperately needed a shave.

Vega ran down the ship's log while he scraped his face, only nicking himself once when he read where the _Normandy_ had gone while its CO and XO were down for the count. He stuck tissue onto the cut and continued reading, shaking his head at the sheer gall of the entity known only as _The Dealer_.

_Fragments of Geth code? Cerberus specs? And Joker and T'Soni **agreed** to it?_

His appearance was as close to perfect as he ever got when he finally remembered _someone_ needed to go over their armor and weapons. He very much doubted Esteban would have done it. Assuming the pilot was even conscious, he'd be all over his precious shuttle. 

_Well, no hope for it._ While the chances that they'd need gear today was admittedly minimal, it went against the grain to leave the checks undone.

"EDI?"

"Lieutenant, it is good to hear that you have regained functionality. How may I assist you?"

Vega blinked. "I wanted to know if Esteban was... also functional. If so... is he functioning in the Armory?"

"Lieutenant Cortez has commenced repairs to the Kodiak, assisted by Ensign Mueller. In anticipation of the high probability of the Leviathan mission leaving both you and Commander Shepard gravely injured, Jeff reassigned Ensign Frank Mueller from Engineering to the Shuttle Bay as soon as he took command. However, the transfer awaits final approval by either you or Commander Shepard."

Vega remembered Mueller. The kid had seemed truly intimidated by Adams, and scared to death of the _Normandy_ 's out-sized warp core. James had been meaning to ask Shepard if they couldn't shuffle him somewhere else for two days now. But, well... _things_ had kept happening. Citadel errands. Rescuing Turians. Leviathan. The Summit.

Now Joker had taken care of it. _But the **Armory**? I was thinking... crew services or something._

"So, uh, how is he working out?"

"Lieutenant Cortez had him perform Armory maintenaince after Despoina. He told the ensign that if he was satisfied with his work on the gear, he might allow him near the shuttle. Since they are both now working on the shuttle, probability indicates that the ensign's work was adequate."

Vega glanced around the lavatory. _HUH._

"Thank you, EDI."

"You are welcome, Lieutenant. Should I notify Lieutenant Cortez you are on your way?"

 _Cheeky AI._ James frowned. _And still disconcerting how quickly she has begun to anticipate us..._

"Sure. Tell him **I'd** like to check the gear."

\--

The first thing James saw when he entered the Shuttle Bay wasn't a nervous ensign poking at the Proc Terminal (though he did later note this was happening). And it wasn't Esteban, bent nearly sideways, power-sanding two of the multiple deep gouges out of the Kodiak's side (though he later noticed that had also been happening).

It was the deep blue Atlas mech in the previously-empty Mech Bay.

_It's... gorgeous. Where the FUCK-_

"Mr. Vega!" Cortez finally turned and noticed him standing in the middle of the flight deck, staring upwards. James pivoted, watching as the pilot set down a metal grinder and walked over to him. "You like it?"

" _Like_ it? _Sí, es extraordinario_ , Esteban." Vega's eyes were drawn inextricably back toward the giant machine. "Where did it come from?"

"Oh... I have my sources."

James glanced sideways. Steve was grinning like a fool. He arched an eyebrow. "Riiiggghhhtt. So that means-" He stopped, as the numbers suddenly added up. His jaw dropped. "This was from The Dealer?" He felt his brows draw together. " _¿A qué costo?_ "

" _Nada._ "

James arched his brow again. Cortez gestured. "First pick free. I didn't believe it either, but Dr. T'Soni insisted he was on the up-and-up. She looked over his list of desired trades and apparently set some of her various operatives on them immediately." Steve sniffed, then tilted his head toward the Procurement Terminal, where James finally noticed Ensign Mueller trying his hardest to shrink down behind the board. "You should pull up his list. It's, uh, impressive. I think Liara is on to something."

Vega snorted, mulling. After a few seconds he met Esteban's eyes and asked, "So... who chose the mech?"

Cortez' cheeks grew ruddy. "Well... that was me. Mostly. But, um, Liara and Joker agreed, given everything. After what happened with Leviathan, it just seemed... well, you liked the Triton so much, and things were sort of horrible-"

James suddenly understood. His eyes prickled suspiciously. _So they **all** know. Even **Joker** knows. They got me a toy in case I was still upset about what Shepard had to do. And I **want** to be pissed off about it, but because it's the **nicest** damn thing anyone has ever done for me, I can't_.

" _Gracias_ , Esteban."

" _De nada_ , Mr. Vega."

James tried to discretely sniff. Then he raised his voice enough so that the quivering figure by the shuttle could easily hear him. "Now... you gonna tell me how we ended up with an ensign mucking around in our Armory?"

\--

They were waiting for their last pre-programmed Relay time, from Eagle to Annos, when Shepard finally showed up in the Shuttle Bay. He'd hoped she'd come down before they reached the Basin, because getting updates from Chakwas and EDI wasn't the same thing as actually _seeing_ her... walking and talking and... James craned his neck to see- 

_...playing with the damn varren again?_

She strolled through the gap between the workstations, looking so lovely and self-assured in her dress blues, smiling as though she hadn't nearly _died_ , he couldn't help himself. "You're not trying to _train_ that varren, are you?" _Oh, great, Vega. Go after her as soon as you see her again, why don't you?_

Eliza arched an eyebrow at him, and walked out onto the flight deck. She stepped back and flicked her eyes from him, upwards toward the new, _huge_ , Atlas mech hovering just over his head.

"Maybe. He was a gift from a scout on Tuchanka." She continued to advance. "Speaking of _gifts_ , nice mech. Who bought it for you?"

"I gather Esteban talked Liara and Joker into choosing it. I mean... EDI recorded the entire Dealer interaction; I only skimmed the transcript." James could feel his face flush a bit. "Did you, um, talk to Joker and Liara about their _initiative_?"

Shepard shrugged. "No. Liara had mentioned The Dealer before, but she also acknowledged - pretty much in the same breath - that Hackett's mission was more important. Still, I knew she hadn't forgotten about it. And I knew we were close by." She shrugged again. "Either Joker is in charge when you and I are out cold, or he's not. I refuse to second-guess his command decisions," she smirked at him, "just as I wouldn't second-guess _yours_ , were I incapacitated." She gazed up at the cobalt-colored Atlas. "Pretty nice bribe, though. I skimmed the 'missions' he'd like us to undertake. I have to say, none of them sound so hazardous that they'd require such a splendid gift upfront."

_At least we're both thinking about a potential hidden cost._

"So... you don't think we should play?" James nonchalantly stretched back against his workstation, watching with satisfaction as Eliza's eyes followed the movement.

Shepard smirked back at him. "I didn't say that. In fact... I think we probably should. I saw the list of all the _other_ items he's willing to part with, and some of them would come in _very_ handy."

"The weapons." It wasn't a question.

Shepard nodded, still observing him through her lashes. Now that he was wise to her, it was easy to perceive she'd been surreptitiously checking him out for awhile. He stretched his arms behind his back, propping himself against the workstation, just to watch _her_ watch _him_. His patience finally paid off.

"You know... you look amazing in a dress uniform. You should wear it more often."

He grinned. "Why do you think I had it on when I came to pick you up three days ago?"

Her forehead wrinkled. "Because you were at Headquarters? Important meetings?"

"No, Lola. Anderson wouldn't have cared if I showed up on base in _pajamas_ , so long as I checked in with you when he'd told me to be there. But I missed having you look at me like you wanted to jump me. I was angling for any edge I could get."

She blushed and laughed. "I would have paid good money to see you running around Headquarters in pajamas. I can just imagine."

He stopped grinning. Stopped stretching. Nearly stopped _breathing_ , just listening to her laugh. _Mierda. I missed her laughter._

She sighed. "That was the Relay jump. I should probably run back upstairs."

 _Dios, don't leave me so soon._ He reached out a slow hand, laid it on her shoulder, stroked up her neck, let the touch drift back down her arm. "Can I walk you up?"

She gave him a mischievous smile. "And let Ensign Mueller continue to do your work?"

One eyebrow rose. "You found out about that already, did you?"

She grinned. "Joker **is** somewhat _gleeful_ he got the jump on you with respect to ONE staffing assignment."

Vega snorted, and let his eyes drift past Shepard to the Marine in question, currently handing tools to Cortez. "EDI knew I was looking to move him."

Eliza leaned in and put her hand on _his_ arm. James' world swung around. "All I know is that I'm grateful we seem to be gelling into one hell of a functional team." She let her arm drop, but gave him a small smile. "And yes, you should walk up with me. I want to introduce you to Wrex."

\--

Shepard was willing to be momentarily diverted to the Mess, and James crossed "Make sure Shepard eats at least once a day" off his mental list. When she paused in the CIC to check in with Traynor, Vega kept walking. Vivid memories of dragging equipment out through the space assaulted him. He'd only been in the War Room once since coming back aboard, and that had been to meet with Primarch Victus.

The Turian leader had already come through to the Meeting room from the War Room; James immediately went to his side, shook his hand, made sure the Primarch was still as comfortable as the situation allowed. He brushed off the man's concerns about the Leviathan mission, finding it interesting that their intel had already been disseminated to at least the Turian Meritocracy. Shepard joined them just as Victus was asking about injuries; he found himself making the standard quip about 'human bones only growing back stronger for being broken'. He saw Eliza arch a brow at him, and felt himself shrug.

_It's true._

Once the Krogan leader strode through the containment fields, all the air seemed to leave the meeting room. Urdnot Wrex was larger than life. James realized quickly that Wrex had a close relationship with Shepard. James shook the Krogan's hand, listened to him pester Eliza about the war, the state of the _Normandy_ , and a few other things. She gave as good as she got.

Vega excused himself as Wrex was being introduced to Victus. He slipped into the elevator just as the Salarian Dalatress flounced into the CIC. He wondered if he was the only one who seemed to feel a cold draft. He gratefully escaped back downstairs, to his numerous reports... trying not to get caught sneaking more peeks at the armor stacked and waiting on the lockers. James had been forced to admit, on initial inspection, that it hadn't looked bad. Especially given the damage the Brutes had done.

_Hope this is the last major staffing change for awhile._

\--

His first indication that the shit had hit the fan at the Summit was when EDI spoke from his omni-tool. "Lieutenant Vega, the Commander requires assurance that your bone healing has progressed to the point where you have medical clearance to go on an away mission. I contacted you before she could contact Dr. Chakwas. What should I tell her?"

_Well... we could always shade the truth a **little**. Or, more accurately, tell the truth... in a creative way..._

"Please inform the Commander that I've never felt better." _After all, she's alive._ "Who else is going? WHERE are we going?"

"Garrus Vakarion. Urdnot Wrex will also be coming with you. Sur'Kesh."

From the other side of the hangar, Cortez called "When, EDI?"

Vega realized the AI was now speaking clearly from both of the workstations, and he switched off the speaker on his omni-tool to avoid echo.

"In approximately fifteen minutes, Lieutenant Cortez."

James heard Esteban lapse into a torrent of Spanish swear words as he threw down whatever tool he'd been using and started to prep the shuttle.

_And.... there it is. I **knew** if I lived long enough, we'd get here._

"Thanks, EDI."

\--

James thought the shuttle was flying fine - even with the weight of a larger-the-average Krogan pacing back and forth impatiently in the small space - but he knew Cortez was still annoyed at the short prep time, and wind resistance from the scraped-up exterior, so he held his tongue. And watched Shepard try to calm Wrex down.

_Good luck with that, Lola._

The Krogan leader finally stopped pacing... only to pull out his shotgun and begin fiddling with it. Vega wasn't shocked to hear Shepard sigh.

"This is the Salarian home world we're headed to." She advanced on Wrex. James was impressed at how close she was willing to get to business end of the Claymore. "They aren't used to seeing Krogan here, so let's keep it simple. We land, get the females, and leave before anyone changes their mind."

Wrex finally stopped sighting down the barrel and began checking the firing mechanism. "I _still_ don't trust a _word_ they say."

"Let diplomacy play out, Wrex. You'll get what you want."

Behind her, James flinched. _I'm not sure that's the best tack, Lola._

"These females are the best - and probably **last** hope for my people."

Vega caught Vakarion's eye and nodded discretely toward the Krogan. Garrus inclined his head and stepped forward adroitly. "We'll bring them home, Wrex. You've waited long enough for this day."

James let out a sigh of relief when the Turian sharpshooter's blunt words seemed to get through to the Krogan. "A lifetime." They shook hands. "I appreciate the assist, Garrus."

"Figured you'd gone soft, sitting on your throne. Forgot how to hold a gun."

James hung his head in frustration. _Madre de Dios, Garrus, really?_ He was about to intercede, though he had no idea what to say, when Cortez called back to them from the cockpit.

"Commander. I have the Salarian base on sensors."

Vega judged Shepard might be the least amused out of _all_ of them, which he counted as quite the coup given the sheer tension in the shuttle. "Set 'er down."

They got close enough to hover, and Cortez - who was likewise sounding increasingly annoyed - called out "Commander, Salarian ground control says we don't have clearance to land."

"Tell them the Dalatrass authorized this herself." More annoyance.

Of course, none of them counted on _Wrex's_ level of frustration. "I _knew_ they'd never keep their word. Let's see them try to stop a _Krogan air drop_."

Shepard, apparently hearing the hatch being wrenched open, turned and called out "WREX!"... but it was too late. The Krogan leader leapt out of the shuttle and fell four meters to the pavement. Vega looked out of the hatch and down, shocked the tiles hadn't cracked. The second the big male Krogan landed, salarians began to advance on him; James watched the Krogan glow a brilliant blue as he Threw the guards twenty meters away, yelling at them about how they were 'holding his race hostage.'

_Dios, he's **biotic**. Puta Madre - with his size - he's **biotic** , too._

Cortez had lowered the shuttle slightly; by the time the rest of the landing party jumped down after him, the gap had narrowed to a couple meters. The fall still jarred Vega's newly-healed legs in an unpleasant way. Wrex had pulled his shotgun, and a bunch of red laser sights were targeting his head and torso.

He had to hand it to the replacement guards who ran in after their fellows were Thrown into the building. They had guts. It was all shaping up to be a Very Bad Time until another salarian rushed forward, yelling "STAND DOWN. HOLD YOUR FIRE!"

_Thank God. Didn't really want to have to fight my way through a supposed allies' base this morning._

"Commander Shepard, restrain your colleague! We only found out about this transfer a few moments ago!"

"I'd like to avoid a diplomatic incident." Typical Eliza, playing down how badly the last minute boded for galactic unity.

"As would we." The salarian sounded sincere.

"But you have something valuable to Wrex."

James flinched. _She's still pissed, though._

Wrex immediately put in his oar. "Something worth dying for."

The salarian official was evidently trying to be placating. "This matter can be resolved, but I must insist he remain under guard."

Vega didn't have to look at Wrex to know THAT wasn't going to sit well. He heard the big Krogan snort loudly, and Shepard glanced his way. "I can _handle_ this, Wrex."

He was actually surprised that the Krogan listened to her so quickly, putting away his shotgun immediately. Still, he wasn't shocked when Wrex added "Anything goes wrong, and all bets are off."

As soon as the Krogan leader allowed the guards to surround him, their ground control crew finally gave Cortez clearance to land. They were urged to follow the administrator into the base. The slight salarian introduced himself by saying "I'm Padok Wiks, and I appreciate your understanding, Commander. With war on everyone's minds, our people are on edge."

Across the compound, a giant creature in a containment pod was being relocated. It clearly didn't appreciate the change of scenery. Or perhaps the fact that it had been caged in the first place. Next to him, Vega heard Garrus comment "brings back memories."

James glanced at the Turian, then back at Wiks, forced to wonder yet again how many things existed in the galaxy he didn't recognize, but Shepard and her crew had already fought.

Having seen - and evidently recognized - the creature, Shepard asked Wiks about the base; even Vega could tell the salarian was skirting the whole truth. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing when she responded "Nothing is ever simple with salarians, is it?"

She didn't let Wiks get by without explaining the presence of the female Krogan. James wondered if she believed the story of their poor health; if he was any judge, Eliza was being intentionally hard to read. She was clearly more concerned about Wrex, and she pivoted completely away from the administrator to watch the Krogan being led away. He was grumbling about how the entire place smelled 'wrong.' When Wiks responded positively to Shepard's demand that they be taken to see the female Krogan, she purposefully followed after Wrex; James and Garrus trailed along behind.

The Krogan saw her approach and called out to her, "Shepard, I don't like this. I should be the one going in."

Vega almost lost his hold on his laughter when Eliza matter-of-factly advised, "How bout you stay here, and we only fight _one_ war at a time?"

The huge Krogan straightened up, yet still managed to look abashed. "That was just... good old-fashioned Krogan hot air. If it'd been real, they'd be dead."

 _¡Está de pelos!_ James couldn't resist. "Hey, maybe when this is over, you and I can go toe-to-toe. Just for fun." He blinked innocently as Eliza turned and speared him with a **look** that clearly asked 'didn't you have ENOUGH with the Brutes?'.

Vega didn't know what to think when Wrex shrugged and said "Shepard here almost did. She ever tell you about our little **chat** on Virmire? You could say we had a... _disagreement_." Wrex paused, looked at Eliza, and added "Good times."

James blinked again, this time in surprise. _Virmire is where Ashley Williams died. What happened?_ James realized it was one file he'd never seen.

Vega turned his head as he heard Garrus snort "Yeah, right. The best."

_So Garrus was there, too." James sighed. "Why does it always feel like they're one big ol' club and I'm the New Kid?_

James listened to the conversation with one ear, watching the bustle of the base out of the corner of his eye, but felt he had to chime in when he heard Shepard tell the Krogan leader "That's a pretty brutal way to treat your women, Wrex", and heard the Krogan answer "The females suggested it. We've had to make a lot of tough choices to ensure we don't all die off."

Vega almost couldn't stomach it. He wiped his face and said "Damn, that's rough." _And no way to treat _any_ body._ He straightened. _I get now why she's so fixed on curing the genophage._

He watched as Wrex and Garrus bantered, each of them trying to score the winning retort, and realized, _Yeah, I'm the New Kid. Me quiero matar._

\--

Running into Major Kirrahe was another eye opener. At least by this point, it didn't surprise him that Garrus greeted the salarian as if he were an old friend. He merely rolled his eyes... and strategized.

 _There has to be a way to get my hands on the reports from Virmire. I wonder if EDI can help me? Cortez seemed to think SpecOps had ways of getting in and out of classified files. Or at least he mentioned _Tom_ did._ James was still a bit confused as to how and when Esteban had spoken with Tomas Zavala - or whatever he was calling himself now - but he'd made a few comments that gave away they'd at least emailed back and forth. Vega suspected it had had something to do with his long quiet period after Eliza left, but he'd never actually pinned Cortez down about it. It seemed better to leave it in the past.

But clearly, according to Wrex and this salarian, _something_ major had gone down. And then he heard Kirrahe say "You destroyed the genophage cure, and now it's the key to an alliance."

 _WHOAH. Wait. **Eliza** did that?_ He refocused his attention on Kirrahe. 

Eliza was saying "I'm sure you saw Wrex's entrance."

The salarian's sense of humor was apparently piqued. He dryly opined "Our colonies three systems away saw it."

Whereas James didn't find the Krogan's situation all that amusing. "The big guy's pretty angry about being put on a leash." _I would be too, given the situation._

Vega heard the Major apologize - yet not apologize - and allowed his attention to wander around the base again, considering the chatter he'd heard regarding someone testing their long-range scanners. He had a bad feeling all of a sudden. His attention snapped back when he heard Eliza question their security. _Exactamente mi pregunta._

"Our motto in STG is to _always_ expect trouble. Failing that, create trouble for someone else. Our enemies have the same idea."

 _Pretty matter-of-fact, that. Blunt._ "I **knew** I liked salarians."

Shepard glanced at him. James couldn't tell if she'd rolled her eyes or not.

When Kirrahe assured Eliza "It would be an honor to fight alongside you again," before turning back to his work, it impressed James no end.

_I need to find out what the hell happened on Virmire._

\--

Wiks unlocked the elevator for them. It scanned Shepard from toe to head, the doors opened... and all hell broke loose on the upper level. Alarms went off, fighters scrambled. When Eliza questioned Wiks, he was understandably distracted, and urged them to hurry, adding "Someone will meet you below."

The doors closed, the elevator started to move, and Garrus quipped. "Someone, huh? Hope it's not the Yahg."

Vega didn't understand the reference, but Shepard snorted. "Isn't there a rule that says Yahgs can't strike the same people twice?"

James couldn't take it; he finally had to ask "OK, what's a Yahg?"

Garrus turned to look at him. "Remember the big, ugly, alien they were transporting up top?" Vega nodded. "That's a Yahg."

The doors opened on the lower level, and they walked forward into a far more poorly-lit room.

James just shook his head when a tall salarian extricated himself from the others and advanced on Eliza, saying "Shepard. Excellent timing. Good to... have you here."

_Of course. Of **course** she knows him._

He kept shaking his head as Garrus, likewise, addressed the salarian as if they were long-time acquaintances. Eliza didn't seem all that shocked to find out either that Mordin was here, or that he was the one who had told Urdnot Wrex about the survivors. Vega assumed there was a story here from either Virmire- _Or... wait, no. That doesn't fit the timeline. It must have been from her time with Cerberus._

Mordin was still talking, and he began walking away. They all followed. "Females had weakened immune systems. Side-effect of Maelon's cure."

James looked through the glass and saw several shrouded figures; his gut clenched. _Are they **all** dead? Are we too late?_

He tuned in on what the scientist was saying. "-delay now. _One_ survivor. _Immune_ to genophage. Can synthesize cure from her tissue."

 _Gracias a Dios._ James didn't know when he'd gone from primarily being concerned about an explosion in Blood Pack members, to being committed to curing the genophage, but he suspected it was meeting Wrex and seeing how Shepard felt about the Krogan leader.

They all followed Mordin down to a containment pod. "Please be careful. Krogan slow to trust."

_Yeah, well. So Eliza has something in common with them._

He hung back as she walked closer to the tank. "I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy."

He winced. _Think I might have opened with Wrex being here, Lola._

The Krogan in the pod didn't flinch. Her voice was deep, slow, calm. "Are you here to kill me?"

James blinked. "Kill her?" _Puta madre_ He turned to Garrus and said softly, "She must have been through hell."

Shepard added the explanation that Vega would have opened with: "Urdnot Wrex and I are here to take you home."

There was a pause. "Why? What am I to you?" The Krogan remained unnaturally calm.

"You're the future of the Krogan race. I'm fighting for that." James had to admit that, spoken in her strident 'Shepard Command' voice, that statement felt all kinds of solid. And yet the female Krogan said nothing. Then... the klaxons they'd heard up top began to permeate the lower level.

The female barely reacted, except to comment, "Then I hope you brought an army."

James skirted to the side in time to see Eliza's face harden into that implacable mask she sometimes wore... so the words that slipped out of her mouth didn't surprise him.

"I **am** an army."

\--

Their omni-tools all went off at approximately the same time. Shepard hit her com button; James heard Wrex telling her about the attack even as he read the same update from EDI. 

_Pinche Cerberus. We have **got** to do something about them._ Of course, Eliza also had to deal with the Krogan leader's reaction to most of the females having not survived. _I don't know if I would have told him that already... but she knows him best._

Shepard advanced on the technician who was monitoring the pod. "Release the female. We're leaving."

The tech began to object, stating it wasn't correct procedure, when Mordin slid in behind him, and used his omni-tool to deliver a nasty shock attack. "Objection noted. Now please release Krogan."

_Note to self: don't cross Mordin._

In the end, the scientist entered the pod to monitor its integrity, and the rest of them approached the elevator to meet him on the next level.

None of them expected the elevator to be booby-trapped, but James was the first to see the device and shout a warning: "BOMB!"

They all dove away. There was no cover, and the shockwave rippled through their bodies. Every newly-healed bone in Vega's body groaned in protest again. He slowly rose to his feet. _I. HATE. explosives. Cerberus is going to PAY for that one._

They ran down the length of the room, climbed a ladder, and slowly fought their way to the next checkpoint on the outside of the facility. At one point they heard an announcement that the alien Shepard and Vakarion had been discussing had broken free. Eliza hit a switch on a computer entry and they heard how salarian scientists had been looking at the Yahg as a good covert agent with 'minimal risk'. James snorted when he heard Garrus comment "Easy to say until you've had to _fight_ a Yahg face-to-face."

Ironically, the next set of doors opened onto the escaped Yahg. Luckily, it seemed less interested in them than in killing its previous captors, and it ran off when Shepard fired on it. James did _not_ understand her quip "Careful - there goes the next Shadow Broker", but Garrus obviously did.

"Could have sworn he was muttering 'T'Soni' the entire time."

 _Did they- fight one of those **things** in order to make Liara the Shadow Broker? MIERDA._ Vega realized there was SO much about Shepard that he purely did not know. 

As they approached the second checkpoint, Eliza literally walked into grenade, and James gritted his teeth, trying to stop himself from yelling at her for it. She seemed hell-bent on getting to the pod, to the point of letting one of the troopers stab her in the torso. Vega filed every combat infraction - as he saw them - away, with the intention of having a talk with her later about _caution_ , as well as speed.

_And then she'll get in a jab about melee with Brutes, but these are just puny Cerberus troopers. It's not the same._

At least every Cerberus fighter in her path ultimately paid for her blood with their life essence. She was still glowing blue and purple when she cleared Mordin and the female through the checkpoint.

Troops tried to land on the terrace. Eliza used her biotics to destroy them before they managed to exit the shuttle.

They turned the corner, took more fire, and everyone used medigel. James was glad Eliza had finally taken a stim, given she'd been the target of so many grenades. He bit his tongue when she retreated from the barrage... when he'd really wanted to yell 'HEY, YOU ACTUALLY DODGED THOSE.' Instead he congratulated her with "Got em all."

_That begs the question as to whether the actual injuries from her incautious combat tactics are **more** likely to cause a set back to our extra-curricular plans than my making a bunch of less-than-tactful comments about her incautious combat tactics. Or **less**._

Somewhere on the next turn, Vega heard Garrus mutter, "Cerberus isn't fooling around."

Shepard voice was bitter when she responded "They're capable of anything."

They made their way up a winding set of stairs and ran into Major Kirrahe, downing a trooper. James found it pretty funny that the Salarian officer advised the woman who routinely drained the life out of multiple enemies at a distance to 'stay back.'

_I suppose it was... sort of chivalrous._

Vega remembered that day how much he _hated_ turrets. Once Shepard had taken out the engineer, it was easier for her and Garrus to Overload them without someone just setting them back up again, but it was annoying. Time-wasting. They made it to the door, only to have to pass another scan. Luckily, Shepard was still in the system. James - who'd been mulling over the initial bomb, the strength of the troops, and their strategic landing zones - said "That Mordin guy was right; Cerberus knew we were coming. Why else would they be here?" 

He didn't feel very comforted by Garrus' wry reply: "Every war has its traitors."

There were varren loose on the next level. The Krogan animals were taking a bite out of Cerberus, but there was a large number of troopers, on two levels of the science station. Vega saw how they had staged themselves to block the stairs and grated out: "Oh, we're in the shit now!"

He realized Vakarion had also figured out the dangers of the deployment when the Turian called out "They're up top, too!"

He heard Eliza yell "Find cover!" even as she started Reaving anything that moved. James tried not to move much.

When the troops were dead, they managed to Bypass the lock on the door to the last checkpoint. Almost immediately on going through it, however, they heard Mordin's panicked complaint, "Taking fire!"

They fought their way through, only to realize that the pod couldn't advance. Vega heard Mordin say "Shepard, suspect Cerberus has cut power. Can't progress until you re-route emergency systems."

They did that, and then dodged another invading Cerberus squad. James advanced, using his shotgun, but eventually found ducking the nigh-continuous biotic attacks to be prudent. He had to laugh when he heard Mordin articulate what they were all thinking. "Excellent. Affinity for destruction intact, Shepard. Can clear us through, now."

Eliza advanced on the pod. "How you holdin' up?"

Mordin was fiddling with the controls inside the field. "Containment shield weakening. Can't take much more."

The Krogan female was coughing. It wrenched Vega's heart. _This sucks._ "I'm not your problem, Commander. You don't know me."

Shepard was running through her own checks on their side of the apparatus. "But I'd like to. Hang in there." She turned to regard Mordin. "How many more checkpoints?"

"Just the landing area. Hope Urdnot Wrex still waiting."

James rolled his eyes. _I think we can take that as a given._

The female Krogan seemed to agree. She was gasping, but clearly said "He has to."

Eliza had finished her data input. "I'll see you up top." As the pod began to move again, more Cerberus troops funneled into the checkpoint. 

Vega could tell Shepard was getting frustrated when she _rushed_ a trooper, firing her gun into his face the entire way. He winced. _Yeah... I'm relatively sure that fun sexy time later is gonna be a no-go._ Then he thought it over. _**Or**... if it happens... damn dangerous._ Strangely, that thought didn't phase him, though he was fairly sure he shouldn't be thinking about any of this in the middle of a fight. As Shepard leaped over a break in the pavement of the terrace they were climbing, James realized from the angle that they must be close, and advised her, "I think we're near the top."

They went up ladder, around a bend, and suddenly Mordin's worried voice assaulted them again. "Shepard, they found us. Under heavy attack!" 

They started firing, but Mordin had continued to yell "Enemy still present, pod under fire!!" which evidently caused Shepard to run right into another grenade. Vega groaned. _We are DEFINITELY talking about that again, later._

James kept wanting to smack Mordin every time he called out "Hurry, Shepard! Containment shield failing!" Shepard had added a widget to track the pod onto all their omni-tools and James could see from the gauge readout that the pod shielding was easily still at sixty percent. _Jeezus, Mordin, you want her to get herself killed rushing this?_

They finally took down the last Centurion standing in front of the pod, and Mordin's voice rang out again. "Appears safe. Need final approval now, Shepard." Vega watched as Eliza _ran_ for the workstation near the pod. "Shepard, you must authorize release. Pod then transfers to loading area."

"Let's get you out of there."

That was, of course, when Cerberus dropped a mech. A _big_ one. At least they got a bit of warning, since Wrex was still watching the facility from the shuttle: "Shepard, you've got incoming." They all dove for cover. Then the Krogan leader decided to pester Eliza in much the same way Mordin had been, advising her "Shepard, I can't land until you deal with that thing. It's too dangerous."

_As if we hadn't figured THAT out, Big Guy._

The mech didn't even fire on them at first. It was clearly concentrating on the pod. Which led to Mordin panicking again, as it advanced. "Door is damaged! Can't get out!"

Vega heard Eliza - calm, cool, collected - advise Wrex, "Stay clear! I got this."

Inside the shield, Mordin was STILL freaking out. "Protect the Krogan, Shepard; she's vulnerable! Hurry, Shepard! Containment shield failing!"

Garrus, from his cover spot, was observing the Atlas. He also noted its size. "That some serious firepower; maybe we can crack it open."

James responded before thinking, "Maybe we'd better do it quick!"

Which, it turned out, was exactly what Shepard was doing. Sentinels appeared to more or less be _made_ for destroying machines. Despite Wrex's tauntingly commentary - "What's wrong, Shepard - you getting old? Take that thing out! Fighting Saren was a lot harder than this"- Eliza alternately drained and overloaded the Atlas much as she had the smaller one on Grissom.

The mech started to gyrate in its death throes, and James yelled out "Boo-YAH! That's how it's done!"

Then he found himself chuckling at Garrus' wry rejoinder "Wrex hasn't exactly mellowed with age, has he?" The Turian was also the first person to note the additional soldiers. "Yeah, but watch out - we still have Cerberus troopers left."

Once the last of the invaders had been mopped up, they heard Wrex again "Shepard, looks like you did it. I'm coming in, now." After he landed, and hopped out of the shuttle, the Krogan leader shook Eliza's hand, but then also admonished her, "You had me worried there for a minute."

_I dunno, Wrex. She may really like you, but *I* think you might be pushing your luck..._

Shepard was brusque as she limped toward the pod. "Let's make this quick."

As Wrex shoved Mordin out of the way and extended his own hand to the female Krogan, James felt himself hard-flinch. He and Shepard glanced at each other, and both nodded in satisfaction when the female ignored Wrex and stepped out of the pod on her own. She only noticed Wrex only insomuch as the Krogan leader had a weapon; she paused to grab his shotgun, dispatch two Cerberus troopers that landed late, and shoved the Claymore back into his hands, saying "I can handle myself, Wrex."

_Nice. She'll do._

Wrex turned to Shepard and said, somewhat caustically, " **Women** ". After all the big talk about what happened on Virmire, Vega half-hoped Eliza might slam the Krogan into the pavement. When it failed to happen, he snorted.

_She's either **quite** fond of him... or she remembered just in time that we really need his cooperation._

\--

Given everything that had happened in the past six hours, James wasn't surprised that Chakwas met the landing party in the Shuttle Bay. She greeted Mordin with a wave of her hand, the female Krogan with a nod of her head, and told a lurking Traynor to take both of them up to the Medbay. Cortez she dismissed with a curt "You can go. EDI told me you had sense enough to stay out of the fight today."

Esteban, no fool, responded "Yes, ma'am," and skirted the doctor to slide behind the workstations, gesturing to another of the lurking figures.

James grimaced. _Mueller._

Chakwas was already running a scanner over the rest of them. Eliza made a futile attempt to duck Karin's omni-tool, but the physician fixed her with such a gimlet eye that Shepard sighed and pivoted toward Vega's workstation to wait. 

Garrus took his two jabs of medigel with a muttered, "Careful, Doctor - that skin's pretty sensitive on a Turian," and told Shepard and Vega he was going to report to Victus. He tilted his crest toward Wrex, "Coming?"

The Krogan leader, no fool, held up both hands as Chakwas ran her omni-tool over his huge form, "I didn't fight today either." 

Off to his left, Eliza muttered, "No... only dropped several meters onto concrete to impress a girl."

Vega chuckled. _She IS still steamed._

Chakwas clearly wasn't taking any chances; she jabbed the Krogan in both legs, between the armor plates. Wrex wasn't _quite_ dumb enough to protest; when the doc waved him off after Garrus, he went... quietly grumbling to himself.

James suddenly remembered Karin's early-morning rant: 'I served three tours.' _Mierda. She was **Wrex's** doctor at some point._ His respect for Chakwas grew.

The physician in question looked from him to Shepard, frowning. She handed them both two shots of medigel. Looked at Eliza. "Go shower." Looked at James. "ALONE." Looked back at Shepard. "Inject those." Back to Vega. "SLEEP." She stepped back and considered them both. "Any questions?"

James absolutely could _not_ stop himself. He raised his hand.

Karin's mouth trembled just the slightest bit as she tried hard not to smile. "Yes?"

Vega lowered his hand. "Do we have to do the sleeping part alone, too?"

\--

When his chime went off after an hour, James flipped over in his bunk and realized his left arm and ribs finally felt normal. He rolled into a sitting position and stood up, realizing that the lower bunk he'd been occupying appeared to now be his; the upper berth had someone else in it.

_Yeah. Makes more sense when I keep coming back damaged. Probably shouldn't have ever bothered trying to claim the top._

There was a message from Shepard on his omni-tool. She'd evidently also set an alarm.

**_SHEP: making an official visit to medbay?_ **  
**VEGA: had considered it. wasn't sure you wanted me to**  
**_SHEP: yeah. you'll have to find quarters for Mordin, but Victus and his guards volunteered to make way for the Krogan. good-will gesture, probably_ **  
**VEGA: did they go in with Garrus, off the Battery?**  
**_SHEP: yup. solves some problems, but would have been better if the Alliance hadn't closed off the rest of the port side. could have had two additional staterooms over there. easily_ **  
**VEGA: i'll see what i can do**  
**_SHEP: thank you_ **  
**VEGA: de nada**

James hesitated approximately thirty seconds before he realized there was really no hope for it.

**VEGA: how is armor repair going?**  
**_MUEL: fine, Sir. done, actually. even the black char on the Commander's plate from - uh - a explosion, i'm guessing? if you don't mind me asking, how have you kept the color intact? i was sort of worried about scraping it off_ **

James sighed. _OK... I guess there's no hope for it. I've been replaced._

**VEGA: you don't have to worry about the color; the metal is impregnated with pigment, same as mine. just be careful when you have to bang out dents or fill scrapes; i haven't figured out an exact match yet**  
**_MUEL: i'll work on that Sir_ **

_Three days. It took three days for someone else to take over my Armory._ Vega wanted to rail against it... or at _least_ complain about it... but right now he had to go make sure he wouldn't be compromising ship integrity by re-opening a bulkhead between the port and starboard CIC.

**VEGA: let Cortez know he shouldn't get too deep into the Kodiak just yet. i'm almost certainly going to ask the two of you to cut a few holes in the Normandy before the day is out**  
**_MUEL: uh.... ok?_ **

\--

James went from a short meeting with Adams (regarding the stability of the bulkhead in question), to Keiko (who handed him two beautifully-prepared plates, one primarily meat and one primarily vegetables) to Medbay.

Mordin was already hard at work at one of the computer terminals, muttering to himself out loud. Vega instead advanced on Eve, bowed shallowly, proffered the two plates, and said "I know we sort of met down on Sur'Kesh, but I wanted to introduce myself properly. I'm the Normandy's Executive Officer, Lieutenant James Vega. I'm glad you seem to be feeling better, and wondered if you were hungry. Take your pick. Our chef thought you might prefer this." He inclined the mostly-meat plate slightly.

There was a long pause (in which James wondered if he'd managed to offend the female Krogan _already_ ) before she reached out, relieving Vega of the mostly-meat plate. "My thanks, Lieutenant." She seemed to be admiring it. "Your chef... that is the woman in white, out in the room?"

Vega also glanced through the window. "Her name is Keiko Hamada. She used to work on the Citadel, but was willing to hire on to a front-line Alliance ship. She was the most qualified of all the people who responded; her resume indicated she had trained to prepare food for all Council races." He turned and realized the female Krogan was watching him. He felt himself flush. "She's incredibly competent. In the last three days, she's fed scores of Turians without poisoning them... including small children. But if you'd like me to eat a bit of that first, I would be happy to."

_Wouldn't be the first time._

Vega couldn't tell for sure, but it almost seemed as if the Krogan smiled beneath her mask. "There is no need, Lieutenant. I trust her. And you." She stared at him measuringly. James suddenly felt as if his soul was being dissected. "I can see why your Commander has chosen you to care for her people, while she attempts to solve the puzzle of galactic politics."

James felt his flush deepen. "Well... it isn't as if she _couldn't_ take care of everything if she had to. She'd probably never eat or sleep, though. Getting her to occasionally take care of _herself_ is the hardest part of the job."

The Krogan tilted her head. Vega could have sworn her eyes twinkled. "Is it now?" 

He blinked back at her, then nearly jumped out of his skin as Mordin appeared at his side. "Excellent. Nutrition appreciated. Appears mainly comprised of- " James realized the salarian was running his omni-tool over both the plate that the female Krogan was holding, and the plate that Vega still grasped, "various reconstituted animal proteins, low-allergenic seasonings including sodium chloride, plant matter, and a Terran grain of high starch content. Acceptable." The scientist took the second plate out of Vega's slack grasp, and carried it back to his workstation.

James turned to watch him, slack-jawed. The female Krogan reclaimed his attention when she actually chuckled. "Don't mind Mordin, Lieutenant. As I came to know him, I realized that - though he is truly a very different type of salarian - his mannerisms remain species-specific."

Vega grinned. "I see." He glanced around the Medbay. It didn't feel very warm and friendly. "Well, I wanted to introduce myself, and let you know we're glad we managed to get you safely on board the Normandy. Please don't hesitate to let someone know if you need anything. When Mordin judges you healthy enough to leave here, diplomatic quarters are one deck up, on Two. You already have a room assignment." James sighed. "It's rather small, and for that I apologize. It might-" he paused, and sighed. "It might also still smell faintly of Turian? It was occupied by Primarch Victus' guards until approximately one hour ago."

He realized he'd managed to surprise her. "The Turian Primarch... gave up quarters. For me?"

James nodded. "Our Gunnery Officer - Garrus Vakarian, the other away team member? - he bunks **in** the Battery." Vega shrugged and grinned. "I gather he has a slight obsession with keeping the Normandy's guns battle-ready. And I thought *I* liked weapons." She seemed to smile again, so James finished with "Crew Services installed more bunks in there, temporarily, while we arrange for more staterooms to be built."

The female Krogan had gone very still and quiet. Again Vega wondered if he'd said something wrong. He bowed again, slightly, and turned to leave, but her voice stopped him. 

"Lieutenant?"

He turned. _Please don't let me have fucked this up. Eliza will kill me._

"Thank you."

James grinned. _OK, Phew._ He caught himself at the last minute, managing to use Standard instead of Spanish. "You're welcome."

He'd _almost_ made it out the door when the salarian seemed to realize he was still here. "You are... Lieutenant James Vega."

 _Uht. Oh._ "Yes. Uh, how may I be of assistance?"

"You were the officer responsible for relocating much of my laboratory equipment. Current status?"

 _Oh... SHIT..._ Vega's world swung around as things fell suddenly into place. NOW he remembered Dr. Chakwas, at dinner that night before the jury brought in their verdict, mentioning **Mordin**. _This is the salarian who was on board the SR-2 when it flew against the Collectors. **That's** why they all know each other. This is the scientist who created the innoculate against the Seeker Swarms._ "I, uh, it's in storage, on the port side of the ship."

The salarian pursed his lips. "I see. Giant table seems inefficient use of space compared to curing genophage."

From across the room, the female Krogan commented, "It is more a symbol of intention, Doctor, than a functional use of space."

Mordin clearly wasn't convinced that the Alliance had made a logical choice... and Vega tended to agree with him. "Still. Need old lab equipment. Could use more space. Would appreciate gel electrophoresis machine specifically. How can this be accomplished?"

James' head spun as he tried to rationalize the various spacial needs of their new passengers. "Uh, we're currently planning to use a portion of the port side for more diplomatic housing. Since your equipment is stored directly behind the CIC bulkhead, and current access is only through crawl spaces, I _could_ look into making the last stateroom slightly larger, and incorporating another small lab space." He winced. "I wish I could make it more convenient to access, but Adams advised me that the Alliance closed off the War Room from the rest of Deck Two following new strict security protocols."

Mordin seemed to be considering this for a few seconds, then he nodded, said "Acceptable," and turned away.

James glanced over to the female Krogan, still tucked onto an exam table. It might have been his imagination, but she seemed to be laughing at him.

\--

James finally grabbed a shower and changed into a uniform. At some point during those ten minutes, Esteban managed to corner him.

**_CORT: you planning to come back down here and help me at some point? do you ever plan to bring that food back?_ **  
**VEGA: you know - that hunk of scrap metal you call a shuttle managed to get us to Sur'Kesh and back. you could probably leave it alone for a minute and come get your own damn food without the world ending**  
**_CORT: very funny, Mr. Vega. i'd like sashimi if she made any_ **

\--

There were a lot of people in the mess, some sitting down at the table, some standing around chatting; three more rotated through while James picked at his own food. It almost seemed like the entire crew was heaving a sigh of relief that they'd _made_ it to the Summit. Keiko had drifted out of the kitchen and was standing by the dining table, chatting with the Marines.

He looked up just in time to see Shepard duck into Medbay. He struggled with it for awhile - distracting himself by letting Keiko know that he would need a couple plates to take downstairs to Cortez and Mueller in fifteen minutes or so - but finally his natural curiosity overwhelmed his better nature. He drifted toward the open door, and leaned carefully against the wall, just outside.

He heard Eliza: concerned, quizzical. _"How's she doing?"_

Mordin's voice responded. _"No fever currently. Heart rate elevated. Likely stress. Eating appropriately. Could use another blanket. Something soft. Prefer to let her recover fully before synthesizing cure. My medical recommendation."_

The rounded rumble of the female Krogan, annoyed. _"My people don't have _time_ for that."_

Mordin, again. _"Her opinion... somewhat different."_

Eliza, replying in the non-nonsense tone she often employed when someone was being a stubborn ass. _"It may take a week, Eve. Or two. **Your** health comes first right now. And I trust Mordin's recommendation, always_."

James felt something funny, in his chest. Maybe his ribs? He wandered away from the door, just enough, so that when she eventually swung back out into the corridor, it hopefully didn't appear like he was actively spying on her.

"Hey... Lola. Food?"

Eliza started, pivoting to face him, but she didn't start to glow blue or fall back into fighting stance, so James took it as a good sign. "I don't have a heck of a lot of time right now, James. I need to go make sure Mordin didn't _actually_ throw Dr. Chakwas out of her own Medbay."

Vega leaned into her, the slightest bit, and whispered "Look, there are a lot of people in here who are _absolutely_ necessary to the Normandy's functioning who haven't _met_ you. You can spend ten minutes getting to know them. They've been busting their asses to get us from fight to fight: food and water, cleaning, navigation, engineering..." He trailed off, then began again. "Just, _hang out_ for a bit. **Eat**. Chat. It will mean the world to them."

Some deep thought appeared to cross Shepard's face, and she nodded, slowly. "All right. You're right. Lead the way."

He was so shocked, he almost didn't know what to do. He gestured with his plate, and then followed her over to Chef Hamada. "Keiko, I don't know if you've actually gotten to meet the Commander - or merely seen her in passing as she runs through here - but she's mentioned several times how amazing your food is... when I've actually gotten her to eat it."

The Asian woman laughed. Eliza glared at him, but she also stuck out her hand toward the chef. "I'm sorry I didn't properly introduce myself two days ago, Ms. Hamada. It's been a bit... hectic."

"I completely understand, Commander Shepard." The woman's voice was low, musical, with a slight lilt. "This is the life change I signed up for, though. I feel like I have done more good in the last three days on board the Normandy than I have done in three _years_ aboard the Citadel. My thanks for the opportunity." Keiko wandered back toward the kitchen, picked up a plate, and held it out toward the Commander.

James saw Eliza's face. She was dumbfounded. She lowered her head slightly, and accepted the plate. Vega glanced down; it was mostly vegetables. He had NO idea how Keiko managed to keep the food preferences of over a hundred crew and guests in her head at any given moment, but it appeared that she did.

"I will have the plates done for Lieutenant Cortez and Ensign Mueller in five minutes, XO Vega." The chef bowed her head, and pivoted back to the cooktop.

Shepard, who'd been perusing her plate, raised her head at this. "You deliver?"

Vega laughed. "When I'm about to ask someone who's worried to death about his precious shuttle to take time off repairing it to cut holes in the ship? Yeah, I deliver." He gestured again, toward the dining table and the crew members sitting at it who were looking at her, awestruck, and murmured "Try sitting down for a few minutes."

He moved with her and took a seat opposite the chair she chose, both of them exchanging words with the table's current occupants. It didn't take long before the questions started, and her low-voiced explanations, between bites of food, seemed to go a long way toward easing the anxiety he'd sensed from much of the crew.

The chef caught his eye as she slid two plates of food onto the Mess' island, and Vega stood up, slid out from the table, laid his hand on Shepard's shoulder briefly. "Stay for a bit. I need to feed my minions and figure out those new staterooms. I'll see you later."

She was still chatting with one of the women from crew services when he slid around the corner, but her eyes briefly met his. And she smiled.

\--

He'd barely set the food down when Esteban started yanking his chain. 

"Wow. You implied you'd be bringing back food almost an _hour_ ago, Mr. Vega. Didn't he, Ensign?" Cortez turned to the sandy-haired Marine who was enthusiastically tucking into the mostly-meat sushi plate James had handed over. Frank Mueller paused - not even daring to chew - looking like he didn't know who to agree with: the man he directly worked for, or the man who could approve the transfer he clearly wanted.

James snorted, and waved a hand at the blond. "Just eat, Mueller. Ignore Esteban. He's ranting. Also," he sighed, "your transfer is approved, so you can stop freezing in terror every time either of us looks at you funny. You're going to have plenty of chances today to prove that your Engineering skills are more suited to fabrication."

The ensign seemed to perk up. "So... you were serious, Sir? We're... going to be _cutting holes_ in the Normandy?" The younger man looked intrigued and more than a little excited.

 _Lord, spare me from over-eager kids with blow torches._ Vega's thoughts suddenly swung wildly back to Tom for a moment, and the energetic (though ultimately fruitless) endeavor of removing a fire escape from Princess Ave.

"Don't let him change the subject so easily, Ensign." Cortez was eating his way through his own brunch plate, but he clearly wasn't rushing as though half-starved. James realized the pilot was still just jerking his chain. "What delayed you?"

Vega sighed. "Look, I got El-" He stopped himself _just_ in time, appalled at his near-slip. 

Cortez, also looking a bit wide-eyed, swung around to address Mueller. "Can you check the tool locker, Frank? See if we _have_ a diamond-tipped cutting blade for the bandsaw? If we don't, this entire renovation may have to wait until we can acquire one."

The blond ensign moved off, and Steve turned back to James, shaking his head. " _Eso estuvo cerca_ , James."

Vega snorted. "And you take no blame for that?"

"Mr. Vega, you're positively twitterpated. _That_ is not my fault."

"Twitter-wha?"

" _Twitterpated_. It means you're _gone_. Checked out. Your brain has installed itself at the Commander's side, with no forwarding address." Cortez watched Mueller pull something out of the tool locker, holding up a circular blade with evident happiness at his success. Steve sighed. "Cute kid. I wish this war was as much fun for all of us."

\--

They put in a BIT more work on the shuttle, but Cortez finally admitted that the Kodiak ideally needed several days of work and several new parts, including a steering vane. He'd already requisitioned them. James got in several digs about the crash on Despoina... but it wasn't as much fun as he'd anticipated, given the fact that every time he brought it up, Esteban reminded him that (a) Leviathan had used an EMP to _knock_ the shuttle out of the sky, and (b) didn't Vega need them to do something important this afternoon?

Adams came down to the Armory not twenty minutes later, and they finalized the new specs. He also indicated to Cortez that he'd be grateful if the pilot took Donnelly to help, since the young Scotsman was positively giddy about the idea of dismantling portions of Deck Two. Vega and Adams locked eyes; both men sighed deeply. James realized there would been a time when _he_ would have been chomping at the bit to help, but the retrofit - and responsibility for actual passengers - had changed him.

Now he just wanted it done.

Cortez and Mueller had disappeared directly after Adams left, and James wondered if Wrex and Victus were currently stewing in the War Room, listening to the sounds of metal cutting metal... and wishing they were ANYWHERE else. He was going through the footage from the STG base when Eliza showed up. She trotted up behind him, and he moved a bit so that she could see what he was looking at.

"Wonder what the hell Cerberus was doing on Sur'Kesh..."

She snorted. "That's the twenty-thousand-credit question, all right." She skirted his workstation, and he glanced up as she seemed to be eyeing the back corner. He laughed. "I don't have another porn magazine back there, Lola. You can stand down. It's clean."

She snorted again. "I wasn't looking for one. I was just-" she pivoted. "So what do you think of our new passengers?"

 _What was she about to say?_

"Wrex is a _bad-ass_. I bet he's got some real interesting stories to tell. Mordin's... something else. His mouth moves faster than a frog on a hot rock in the middle of summer." He watched as she moved further into the back corner, and his mouth went dry when she hopped up to sit on the shelving, in the same space where... "Uh, Lola - in case you didn't realize - Esteban isn't here." James switched off the mission footage replay and circled the workstation to stand in front of her. "You don't need to hide back here if you want me to kiss you."

Eliza flushed. James' heart leapt in his chest. _Don't tease her too much. Don't push too hard. Be cool. This is the first time **she** clearly approached **you** , for **this**._

"There's the guard detachment, by the hatch. And the one by the doors. I just-"

Vega leaned in, and kissed her, softly, on the mouth. "I know. I was teasing you."

Her blush deepened. "Where did Lieutenant Cortez go, anyway? I thought the shuttle was priority. Though it- I mean, I thought it flew OK down to Sur'Kesh."

 _Back off, now. Follow her lead._ "I thought so, too, but only because Esteban was fighting wind sheer and compensating for Wrex's weight the entire way. It needs parts, and obviously the outside is still all messed up. Apparently it will lose a lot of fuel efficiency to wind resistance until he smoothes out all the gouges."

Shepard nodded, and then prodded him, "So where is he?"

Vega arched an eyebrow. "We discussed changing Deck Two, remember? It seemed prudent to get on it as soon as possible. Even with Victus and his guards willing to bunk with Garrus for a few days, it still leaves Wrex's guards sleeping in the Lounge, in shifts. Which is not ideal." He sighed. "And no space for Mordin. Who would really like access to the rest of his lab equipment. _Yesterday._ "

Eliza flinched. "I'm sorry if he's a bit... well..."

James shrugged. "He has every right to be. I finally figured out who he is. Without his cure for Seeker Swarm paralysis, Earth wouldn't stand a _chance_ right now."

Shepard met his eyes and smiled. It was so pure, so warm and appreciative, that he felt that pain in his chest again. She reached out a hand, curled it around his neck, and leaned up to press her mouth against his. Fire shot through his body.

Vega told himself not to say it, but the words wouldn't remain inside his head. " _When_ , Lola?" 

Her eyes met his... and he knew.

\--

They ended up on her couch. It wasn't the most comfortable spot James had ever made out with her - he remembered the couch in the apartment being far more comfortable... not to mention their bed - but it far surpassed the deck chairs on the roof. He wasn't going to complain, though, or suggest a shift in location. Not yet. Everything was amazing... 

Until Eliza began to tense up.

"Lola, are you... still... afraid of this?"

"It's not that. It's... stupid."

 _Right, like I'm going to buy that._ "There are no stupid issues. Spill."

"It's..." He watched as she bit her lip. "I've been wondering..." She blew out a loud breath. "I don't know if... if I'm... _intact_."

James could feel himself frown in confusion. "Did I... miss something? Have I been _needlessly_ torturing myself with mental vids of you and Alenko together in every room on the Citadel?"

He could tell that she was trying not to laugh, but she failed. She also blushed crimson. "First of all, Kaidan is... he's not... _you_ , James."

Vega parsed this, feeling his forehead wrinkle in consternation. Shepard made a strange gesture with both hands, pulling them apart, and suddenly he felt like an utter _idiot_.

_OK... yeah. Soy estúpido._

"That just means we go slow. I mean, things... will stretch." He purely and simply could not believe he was having this conversation with _Lt. Commander Elizabeth Shepard._

" _James_." She got up and actually began to pace back and forth in front of her locker. Finally she turned to him. " _Things_ , as you put it, are _new._ I don't know... _how much_ Cerberus reconstructed. I've never road-tested all my new... parts." She wouldn't meet his eyes.

 _Madre de Dios._ "OK... I'm following you now. I get it." He ran his hands through his hair. If what she was saying was true, he was _relieved_ he hadn't just _jumped_ her before this. "There are ways to find out, Eliza. I mean... a medical exam?"

It seemed as if her flush deepened, if that were actually possible. "You _really_ want me to stomp down to Crew Quarters and ask Doctor Chakwas to tell me whether or not I'm a virgin?"

Vega didn't have to think about that one very long. "Put that way, _no_ , not a great plan." She started to say something, and he held up his hand. "Wait, please. This isn't-" He took a deep breath. "I think maybe we both had a bunch of assumptions about what our first time _should_ be like, a lot of expectations, some fears maybe. But there are ways around everything, Eliza."

_Stuff the **original** Lola showed me. Stuff TJ never knew about, or he would have kicked my ass. **Tried** to kick my ass._

Eliza was frowning. "Like what?"

Vega shrugged. He stood up, reached, and pulled her back toward the couch; she ended up in his lap. "Instead of you being worried about whether or not you were, uh, _fully reconstructed_... or about how... _different_ I am from Alenko, we just... assume that all the complications are true, and plan from there."

Shepard's face glowed yet another new shade of rose. "Which means what?" She looked down. "I just- the first time I lost my virginity wasn't a lot of fun, James. I guess... I'd rather not repeat it." She finally met his eyes.

He nodded, trying to look solemn. "We won't, I swear. Once you told me the whole story, well - I've been trying be pretty careful about making sure that you were OK with everything we did." He tilted her chin up when she instinctively tried to hide her face. "I'm a firm believer in not doing stuff you're going to immediately regret, remember?" He shrugged again. "And I've always felt that if you're not adult enough to talk about it, you probably shouldn't be _doing_ it."

She avoided his eyes and dropped her face to his chest again. "It's just all so **insane** and _embarrassing_. NO ONE ELSE has had to come back from the dead and worry about whether or not they're basically... new. Inside."

James suddenly snorted. "Oh, yeah, it's clearly a horrible problem: how not being allowed to remain _dead_ could negatively impact your sex life."

She punched him. He'd known she would; he'd invited it. He caught the hand as it came in, and wrapped his fingers around her wrist, swiftly pinning the hand behind her back. He was already inside her left arm, because of her position on his chest. He shifted the grip on her right wrist to his left hand... which basically pinned her, and left his right hand free.

She struggled, but weakly, ineffectually. James felt the game pleased her, or he would have gotten a headbutt to his cranium by now. He carefully ran his free hand down her side, letting his thumb just graze her right breast. "What I want to know is why you didn't talk to me about this _months_ ago? Looking back, it all makes sense, but- what if we hadn't been interrupted that night on the roof? Things could have gone... badly. What if I'd taken you up on your offer the night Liara arrived? Would you have really wanted to add painfully losing your virginity a second time on _top_ of having your mind re-arranged?" He frowned at her. "Or would you have just hidden being in pain?"

Yet again, Eliza refused to meet his eyes. Eventually she sighed. "Likely."

James arched a brow at her. "Yeah, uh, _that's_ not gonna fly."

She looked everywhere but at him. There weren't many options. The ceiling, the fishtank, the bed. James just waited. Finally, she allowed her head to twist back until she was facing him. There were tears in her eyes. "I'm not used to... to anyone caring whether or not I'm in pain."

 _Pute de madre._ "Well, _get_ used to it. And don't lie to me anymore, or try to go around me. That won't fly, either."

She swallowed hard, looking at him. Finally, she nodded. "Those seem like fair demands."

He sighed. Another interlude that he'd hoped would go one way, utterly re-arranged as new imperatives surfaced. Still, it was a damn good thing he knew what was what now. "Do you have any?"

Her brow furrowed "Any what?"

"Demands."

She moved restlessly on top of him. "I think... if it's all the same to you... I'd like some of that hero worship you've always gone on about."

Vega was _instantly_ hard again. He groaned. " _Me vas a matar_ , Lola." He thought about it. "What are your thoughts on control these days? Are you willing to leave this in my hands, given certain ground rules?"

Eliza swallowed hard again. "I suppose that would depend on the ground rules."

James grinned. "Nothing too extreme. One, you have a big bed; let's use it. This couch bullshit is for people who didn't fight Reapers and Cerberus all week." His grin widened as she snorted. "Two, take off your damn clothes; if I'm going to torture myself for your pleasure, I get to finally see you all the way naked, up close." He watched her blush _again_ , and everything got a little harder. "And three, I need a few minutes in your bathroom, first."

The small smile on her face evaporated, turned into a frown. "Why would you need to... do that, if we're-"

He interrupted her. "Because this is about hero-worship. And, well, figuring out what anatomical reality we're dealing with." He laughed out loud as her jaw dropped, and she flushed for perhaps the tenth time. "Trust me... by that point you won't mind my fingers. In fact-" his voice dropped a register. "I won't even try it until you _beg_ me."

Her involuntary whimper was sweet in his ears. He started to stand up.

"James, I've, um, _problem-solved_ \- some - since we met. I haven't had any pain from that." Her face scrunched in thought. "I never connected the two things, but I mean - if you're right, that means it's probably fine." She looked vaguely hopeful about it.

"Maybe. But Lola-" he sighed, began again. "Granted, everyone's anatomy is different, but I'm a little skeptical you could tell for certain unless you used a toy while you problem-solved. Did you?" He was amused when her face flushed yet again, and she shook her head. "Well-" he reached out and used his right index and middle fingers to brush under her chin, "- I'm fairly certain **I'll** be able to tell."

Again, she swallowed. He watched her throat contract, and memories of the Null Room, of first seeing her - _real_ , in the flesh, so close - swamped him. "You agree to the terms?"

She jumped. "If I'm not sure if I want to strip everything off? I mean I'm-" She looked uncomfortable. "I was still healing all the Cerberus construction scars in prison... and I picked up a few more since regen ended."

Vega snorted. "Shepard, have you _seen_ my face? Stop making excuses. It's pretty simple: if you won't strip, worship will be... limited. Being naked is a fairly essential part of having sex."

She blinked at him. "It's not, though - I mean..." She went quiet, clearly not wanting to talk about the previous Citadel experiences he'd mentioned.

He arched an eyebrow at her. "OK, Let me re-phrase. Being naked is a fairly essential part of having sex with _me_." He stood up and eyed her as she huddled on the couch.

She was clearly thinking it over, but he figured it was ridiculous to continue to stand in her quarters and suffer when her bathroom was the most private opportunity he'd had in almost a _week_. "While you decide what you want, I'm going to go end my current state of suffering. I'll be right back."

"Wait!"

James turned around on the stairs. Eliza had stood up and was walking toward him. Before he knew what she was about, before he could even think about stopping her, she'd reached out a hand and begun to stroke the front of his uniform. His head spun; he realized how tenuous his control really was.

"Lola, what are you-"

"I want to do this. I want to _watch_. You OWE me. Remember?"

_Dulce Jesús..._

"This... is a violation of terms you already agreed to." James endeavored to see if double-speak would turn the flame down under his dangerously-simmering desire.

"Vega, there is absolutely nothing in the demands you placed on hero worship precluding me from worshipping you first. I checked the contract."

He groaned as she pushed him up the last stair, and then back against the fishtank. She dropped to her knees. "Lola, tell me this isn't a control thing... that *I* told you I was going to make you beg, and suddenly your mind couldn't accept that unless you made me beg, first?"

Eliza looked up at him. The grin on her face made his knees weak and his cock throb.

"I admit nothing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIDEO, MODS, CANON ALTERATIONS (oh my): https://youtu.be/Et1e6_zHehY
> 
> (1) The Dealer happens while Shepard is out cold, so no footage. That particular EGM addition is only a text-based additional-quest-type thing, but IMHO it's pretty cool. James' present (the Atlas mech) can be seen down in the Shuttle Bay, in the vid.
> 
> (2) Healing Time Is (again) A Thing. injuries are real, story at 11.
> 
> (3) Leviathan debrief with Hackett was punted here and combined with footage from after the Sur'Kesh mission. also (since we've already done the Spectre Hanar mission where Shepard tells Kasumi "The Crucible Project needs technical experts") the Alliance already named the damn thing. further, the animations of the Project being nearly HALF-BUILT have been excised.
> 
> (4) it may end up discussed in the narrative, but the death of a Reaper Command ship so early in the war rocks the invasion back at least a tiny step (another reason i moved the Leviathan mission upfront; i want a less-demolished Earth, dammit).
> 
> (5) in case it isn't clear, i ADORE Adrien Victus. when he tells the Dalatrass that if she refuses to release the Krogan females, he will be the "last friendly Turian" she ever sees... i just want to JUMP HIS BONES.
> 
> (6) lots of weird (in this narrative context) Vega banter removed/changed during fight.
> 
> (7) i'm watching a lot of engineering type stuff (like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liZ0WEEsuz4) trying to plot out a timeline for the Crucible build. my current 'plot plan' is around 1.5 - 2 months. building it in space, which appears to be canon, seems like it might take longer and be more risky. ground-based production seems like it would be faster, but they'd have to launch every component. also, where could they build it and not have Reapers come and destroy it? in my canon, there is no Star Child and no reason for the Reapers to hold back. to me, it makes sense to keep production **mobile** , and my idea is that they are using the remaining Dreadnaughts, traveling the Relay system playing "keep away," while they build all the pieces.
> 
> (8) lastly, yes, I'M EVIL. i know it. _you_ know it. i apologize for nothing. you'll make it another week or two, depending on my life circumstances.
> 
> TIMELINE:
> 
> ~02:30 shuttle returns from 2181 Despoina; away team ends up in MedBay. Javik leaves, Cortez is told to go sleep. Shepard and Vega pretty badly-wounded, have another talk.
> 
> ~03:30 FTL (hr) back to Skepsis; Shepard, Vega, and Cortez asleep. Liara convinces Joker to travel to The Dealer (EGM), since they are close and have time. 5 min Relay to Rosetta Nebula (Enoch)
> 
> ~04:30 FTL (45 min) to Alpha Draconis. Cortez wakes up; Joker and Liara loop him into conversation with the Dealer. they all end up talking about Vega and Shepard. they agree to look into the quests, accept the Dealer's offer of a Mech, for James, because the Leviathan mission was awful for him.
> 
> ~05:00 Normandy is almost back at the Enoch Relay when Vega wakes up. Joker has pre-ordered all their jumps; they will get the the Annos Basin just before 06:00. Shepard also wakes up; Joker tells her to "chill and stop worrying." she contacts Hackett.
> 
> ~05:15 back at Rosetta Relay, 5 jumps to Annos Basin. (5 min) Siguard's Cradle to (5 min) Omega (10 min) to Eagle (5) to Serpent/Widow (priority/5) to Annos Basin (in my canon jumps go faster and smoother the earlier you decide you want them, like most things). James and Cortez talk. Shepard eventually shows up.
> 
> ~06:00 Summit. watch the vid.
> 
> ~07:00 Shepard preps team, jump to STG Base for normal, easy handover. right.
> 
> ~07:15 Cerberus attacks.
> 
> ~07:30 back to Normandy. Chakwas checks out the away team.
> 
> ~08:00 Shepard, Garrus, and Vega all end up sleeping off medigel for a bit. Traynor installs Mordin and Eve in MedBay. Chakwas will check Medbay, realize she's in Mordin's way, and vacate.
> 
> ~09:00 War Table. Shepard meets with Wrex and Victus, then grabs a shower and changes into a uniform. James goes to see Mordin and Eve as XO, brings them food, gives them a rundown on ship, etc.
> 
> ~09:30 James grabs a shower, goes to get food for himself and Shuttle Bay crew. Shepard visits Eve and Mordin; James overhears part of Shepard's visit.
> 
> ~10:00 Shepard comes out, James presses her to join crew. he will eventually leave her there and go back to Shuttle Bay.
> 
> ~10:15 Shepard leaves the Mess to check on Chakwas in Crew Quarters. James goes back down to the Shuttle Bay. Shepard eventually shows up and they talk, end up relocating.
> 
> ~10:45 that thing you've all been waiting for starts here.
> 
> SPANISH:
> 
> es extraordinario ~ it's extraordinary  
> ¿A qué costo?" ~ at what cost?  
> ¡Está de pelos! ~ that’s awesome!  
> Me quiero matar ~ kill me now  
> Exactamente mi pregunta ~ exactly my question  
> Eso estuvo cerca ~ that was close  
> Me vas a matar ~ you're going to kill me


	14. Hard-Knock Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Go to your bosom: Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know."  
> ~ William Shakespeare
> 
> the rest of what you've been waiting for, and a LOT of other stuff. including: some romantic fall-out, holes knocked in walls, huge guns going off, and more.

James leaned back against the fishtank, _determined_ not to beg. And he made it too, probably because he was so insanely turned on he couldn't hold out. Also, Shepard was so unused to doing what she was doing that she didn't recognize the signs of him _not_ holding out. He jerked away from her mouth and finished into his hastily-liberated T-shirt with a groan, nearly falling off his feet in the process. She braced his thighs with her hands, holding him upright. When his mind came back online, he was amazed at her strength.

From the floor she arched an eyebrow at him, and his limp penis twitched in protest. "Lola, _todavía me matarás_."

Eliza grinned. "And that means?"

He tucked himself away, buttoned up, then reached down and hauled her to her feet. "That you should take off your clothes and lay down on the bed before Joker gets sick of covering my duty shift."

Shepard colored. It was fascinating to him how fast she blushed when he got blunt. But she also didn't move immediately. He sighed.

"Be straight with me: have you changed your mind?"

"No! I mean... I was never sure about the 'no clothes' part, but-"

He arched an eyebrow back at her, and pushed her gently back down the stairs. "What happened to the woman who pulled off her top in the non-privacy of downtown Vancouver?"

Eliza laughed, then caught herself and snorted at him. "You get that I was... that the Null Room..." She put a hand on his chest, and he stopped backing her toward the bed. "There are... repercussions from being in a null field, James. I... I'm not that person. I'm not usually so... reckless. I haven't been, for a very long time."

He considered her, then the bed. _So close. Joder. Mierda._

"I think... you're going to have to be just the _slightest_ bit reckless - just a _little_ bit _loco_ \- to go through with this, Lola. If you've changed your mind... I understand." He sighed again. "I'll give you all the time in the world. But that 'needing to trust and take a chance' thing? That's not gonna change."

She stiffened, almost as if he'd slapped her.

He waited; the feeling was not unlike having a solid run of cards on the table, anticipating the river, wondering if his straight would come in... or bust.

Shepard began to unbutton her uniform top.

 _Hay un Dios._ "Want help?"

She swallowed, hard. "Sure."

Now that she'd made her intentions clear, Vega realized he had absolutely no compunction about seducing her. He reached out a hand, slid his fingers under her loose braid, and gently pulled her forward. A second later he was nibbling on her lips until she opened her mouth, then sliding his tongue inside. He could taste himself inside her; the realization caused the parts of him he'd considered reasonably well-sated to twitch again. _Not now._ The hand that wasn't cupping the base of her skull was rapidly dealing with Alliance buttons.

As the last fastener slid free, James carefully extricated his hand from her hair, and pushed her back ever so slightly. "Shrug that off, will you?" He mirrored her previous position, kneeling down next to her bed, and started working on the fly of her uniform pants. He freed two buttons, working methodically, waiting to see if the top was actually going to hit the floor; finally, it did.

 _Gracias, Lola. You can do this._ He looked up.

She was gazing down at him, arms slack at her sides... white cotton tank top outlining her small, high, breasts, points showing where she was either cold... or not completely hating this after all. Vega's mouth went dry. He fingers faltered on the third button.

 _To push or not to push? **Push**. It's better to know._ "That too."

Eliza clearly swallowed hard; the pale skin of her throat bobbed. She curled her hands inward and grasped the lower edge of the tank top... and hesitated again.

"Could we... dim the room lights a little?" When he arched the eyebrow again, fingers still unbuttoning her fly, she met his eyes and snorted. " _What_? It was _dark_ up on that roof."

"Shepard, lose the goddamn tank top." He'd finished unbuttoning her fly, and his fingers curled in over her hip bones. He began tugging. Eliza lost her balance; he waited until she grabbed onto his shoulders to continue to yank on her pants. He tried desperately to distract himself from the soft white cotton drawers inches away from his face. _Get her on the bed, first. We're not doing this on the floor._

When the waistband of her trousers met the floor tiles, he sat back on his feet and glanced up again. White cotton drawers, white cotton tank, still concealing her torso. He gritted his teeth, trying to remember where he'd parked his frustration the last time they'd done this. "Lola?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"Those look like they'd rip pretty easily."

She tried to step back from him, forgot she was still standing inside her uniform pants, and fell neatly onto the bed.

"That works, too." He slid in next to her a second later, gathered the hem of her tank in one hand, and lowered his voice to a raspy murmur. "Arms. UP."

A second went by. Two. Another. Five in all. During those five seconds he started to suspect he'd pushed her that tiny bit too far. 

Then she haltingly began to raise her hands.

_Ahora eres mía._

He was getting hard again. So much for arranging the hero worship in such a way that he wouldn't be tempted to take things too far, too fast. _She **finally** capitulates, and I'm concerned enough about my control that I don't dare even **look**? What the hell sort of twisted sex fantasy am I **living** in right now?_

But he knew it was the truth. Vega fixed his gaze on one of the collectible transports she had sitting on the ledge of her headboard - he thought it might be a Mako, of all things - and whisked her tank top off over her head.

 _I wonder if I'm EVER going to be able to do ALL THE THINGS without my damn traitor body calling the shots?_ James tried reminding his various parts that he'd already had two orgasms today, and their behavior was frankly ridiculous right now. His cock wasn't listening. 

_What did Cortez call it? **Twitterpated**?_

There was only one thing for it. It was the easiest configuration in any event. _I just wish she had some damn **carpeting**. Wait-_

"Hand me one of those pillows, will you? Whichever one you don't sleep on?" 

He was still trying not to look at her, so when the pillow hit him in the head, it was a shock. It forced laughter out of him. "I suppose you think I deserved that, huh?" He sat up, dropped the pillow onto the floor next to the bed, knelt down on it, and hooked his hands under her thighs, slowly dragging her rear end toward the edge. "Come here."

"I don't understand _why_ you'd make me strip everything off when you apparently can't stand to look at me," she groused.

He grasped the waistband of her underwear and pulled; the drawers caught momentarily, and then gave way. He tried not to think too specifically about what he was doing. Not yet. "Lola, _trust me_ , I _want_ to look, I had every _intention_ of doing quite a bit of looking, but I also thought your performance at the top of the stairs was going to hold me off a _little_ longer." He finished sweeping the flimsy cotton panties off over her feet, then skimmed his hands back up her legs. "Especially given that - according the Chakwas - I've been regrowing bone most of the day. But, no, I still very much want to fuck you right now. So it's not that I don't want to look, it's that I don't _dare_ look. Worship first."

Her hips jerked unexpectedly under his hands; James risked a glance after all, needing to make sure she was OK... only to get caught by the beauty of her straight torso, wiry delineated muscles, scars - yes - but they lovingly formed a detailed road map to every battle she'd fought since Cerberus rebuilt her... 

Vega realized his fingers were digging into her ass. He deliberately relaxed his grip. "You still with me?"

Her hips flexed again, and James wondered... that almost seemed... _OK, was that a... 'hurry up?'_ His _own_ hips reflexively contracted, and he bit back a groan. _Do NOT just jump in there, even if she **is** wet and flexing. Just... don't._

"You want to tell me something?"

Her voice, when it came, sounded odd. Almost as if she had her jaw clenched. "Not especially."

He lowered his head and softly bit the inside of her right thigh. She tried to squirm away from the touch, but he had a pretty secure hold on her haunches; he knew how strong she was.

"Sure?"

"Were you going to _talk_ about this all day, or did you intend to actually DO it at some point?"

James laughed softly to himself. _Fucking FINALLY._ "Just making sure you hadn't changed your mind again. Or, you know, Joker wasn't about to call, EDI didn't have something pressing to ask you, Hackett wasn't on the QEC... you know... any one of a hundred things that could still interrupt us..."

She twitched again, lurching under his hands. "KNOCK ON WOOD when you say shit like that!"

His laughter burst forth for real this time, and then he licked up between her labia, ignoring her gasp - _any protest, at this point, had better come with an actual 'no'_ \- and positioning his body so his wide shoulders blocked her instinctual attempt to close her legs.

Eliza was wet. _Very wet_. Vega gritted his teeth against the insistent thought _it would be so damn easy to just have intercourse right now. I'd take it slow, be careful_... because he strongly suspected that thought was **bullshit**. He wouldn't be able to take it slow. And no matter how careful he was, it wouldn't be careful enough given everything she'd been through. 

In the end, he'd never be able to do it anyway. His one implacable rule with regard to sex had always been _make sure everyone consents and no one ends up regretting it._ His mother and Shepard had one thing in common; he'd never mentioned it to Eliza, he probably never _would_ mention it, but he'd grown up _very_ aware of what the emotional scars of non-consent looked like.

James vividly remembered every second of that day on the roof, watching Eliza shatter as he gripped her shoulders, how she sounded, and - more importantly - what her fingers had been doing. His tongue found her clitoris, began working it in circles, alternating those motions with careful suction. Her gasps get louder. He shifted his right shoulder back far enough to slide a hand out from under her, and used those fingers to begin to rub below his mouth, not penetrating... not yet. Just... _poised_.

Her pelvis shuddered under his chin. James didn't think she was that close, but he was starting to suspect she was growing frustrated at the teasing a lot faster than he'd expected she would. _That's... **interesting**. That could be a hell of a lot of fun... at a later date._ His lifted his mouth, replacing his tongue with his thumb, and said softly, "You OK?"

He almost didn't recognize the voice that grated back "Oh - yeah - PEACHY."

He breathed out a laugh. "Well, I didn't want to _rush_ you, Lola. But if you have any further demands..."

Eliza clenched her abs and raised up until she could meet his eyes. Vega took in the whole picture: flushed, sweaty face, flushed chest, nipples hard like little red-brown stones... his own genitalia protested - again - the lack of concurrent engagement.

"I would _appreciate_ it if you'd... _do_ what you _said_ you were going to do. And figure out if... if I'm- you know-"

James nodded, pretending to think it over, even as his thumb continued to languidly stroke her clitoris. Her hips spasmed; she failed to bite back a whimper. "I don't know, Eliza. I want to be sure you're ready."

"You ASSHOLE," she bit out, and actually tried to pull away. Vega suspected she would have gotten away from someone even slightly weaker than him. As it was, he was slightly concerned he'd bruised her but she stayed put.

 _It appears to be time to re-establish who's in charge._ "That wasn't nice. I seem to remember promising I'd make _very_ sure you were ready. All you have to do is ask... _nicely_." And he began all over again with his lips and tongue.

It was a damn good thing he had both hands hooked over her pelvis, because she truly heaved herself in an attempt to get out from under his mouth. It still wasn't a verbal 'no', and she wasn't using her hands to smack him in the head... but her legs were threatening to crack his newly-healed arm bones, and her whimpering was breaking his damn heart. _C'mon, cabróna, you can do this._

"Please."

There it was. He raised his mouth again. _Don't be a dick, don't be a dick, don't-_ "Please... what?"

 _You had to go and be a dick._ James thought it was probably because he was so turgid it was painful, and - if he was going to suffer - he wanted her to _say_ it. He wanted to _hear_ it.

He'd slid his fingers down again, between her legs, was casually working the nerve bundle with his thumb, waiting. She was twisting back and forth, breathing hard through her nose, and Vega judged she was probably a bit closer now. He figured he'd know once he inserted his fingers... assuming she capitulated.

"Please-" her voice broke, and she cleared her throat. "Please use your fingers... inside."

As soon as she spoke, he carefully slid one finger in past the labia, everything so wet he didn't worry that his hands were rough from all the armory work, that he hadn't remembered to trim his nails as TJ's sister had instructed. He was careful, but the deeper he went, the more Eliza seemed to seize, inner walls clamping down, thighs trembling.

_Fuck it. Caution is one thing, but it's still more important that good behavior gets rewarded, or she'll never play again._

He backed out, switched to two fingers, and re-positioned his thumb. This time, as he digitally fucked her, he could feel her inch closer to orgasm under his hand.

"Any pain?" _Other than mine, that is._

"No! FUCK! GOD-" Eliza was pre-verbal, tossing her head from side-to-side. James grinned, watching her. Seeing her let loose like this - no discomfort evident - was worth all the pain on his end.

And then... she began to glow.

\--

Afterwards, Vega was _reasonably_ sure he'd managed to finish her off before he came spontaneously in his uniform... but it was a close thing. All he could be one hundred percent sure of is that the first orgasm had triggered the next, like a stack of dominoes.

_Or nuclear fission._

And she'd Thrown him again. James found that _hysterical_. He'd literally hit the wall, slid down it, ended up in a heap just below her armor locker. He was still sitting there, laughing, when she opened her eyes, looked around, and jumped off the bed toward him. Naked, and not noticing. Or caring. "JESUS, James! I'm so _sorry_!"

Vega laughed even harder, nearly choking.

She was examining him, gently moving him from the shoulders - right, left, back a bit - trying to figure out if he'd re-broken anything, and getting more annoyed with him by the second. "Are you fucking **OK**?"

James reached up, grabbed her face in both hands, and pulled her down until he could kiss her.

"Eso fue increíble."

\--

He eventually let her pull him up off the floor. She dragged him back into the bed, and he was not reluctant to join her... until he thought to check his chron.

"Stay," she whispered. "Stay and sleep here, just for a little while. The dreams won't be as bad."

_Joder. You **would** finally plead with me to stay with you when I absolutely **can't**._

"You really expect Joker would be cool with my not taking _any_ of my duty shift? It's already quarter past noon... which is when I was supposed to relieve him." James bent and kissed her lightly on the lips. "We're going to need to have a talk with him and Esteban... eventually. Figure this out." He frowned. "Now that it seems Joker knows."

Eliza also frowned. "I don't know how he figured it out. EDI swears she didn't tell him." She met his eyes. "Does it bother you? I mean-" she frowned again. "I was surprised about Cortez, but I figured... he's your friend-"

"Lola, I need the crew's respect if I'm going to do my job. I'm not sure how I keep it if everyone knows I'm sleeping with the Commander." Eliza's frown deepened, and James instantly regretted not just shutting up and laying down next to her until she fell asleep. "I mean," he sighed, "we need to figure out how to have this, and yet _not_ inconvenience the other officers."

Shepard seemed to be mulling it over; she ultimately nodded. "I get it. I just-" She rolled away, onto her back, still seemingly unconcerned about the fact that she was completely, splendidly, gloriously, naked.

_Madre de Dios. The other thing is that if I stay here, we're going to have intercourse._

"Look, this was..." Vega paused as words failed, "... the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. It's my intention to repeat it, with variations, many times in the near future. But I feel like not keeping my promise to Joker starts us off on a _really_ bad footing with respect to the schedule. Agreed?" James tried not to look past her chin, but it was difficult. He wanted to _drink_ her in. He wanted to touch her. Whatever she'd done to him biotically meant looking at her, knowing he had to leave, was only _emotionally_ frustrating, not... _physically_ hard.

_And isn't that just like us? NOW that I feel like I could take my time, gaze at - and touch - everything, and not get distracted by... **my own problem**... THERE IS NO TIME._

"Agreed. I get it." She leaned up and kissed him again. "So I'm supposed to just... tuck myself in and get my additional one-point-five hours as if nothing happened?"

Vega snorted. "If that didn't tire you out at _all_ , I'm in trouble." He levered himself up and off the bed. "Try to sleep." He turned, broke into a jog, took the stairs two at a time.

"James?"

He paused, at the door. "Yeah?"

"You never said... am I, um... y'know? Uh-"

Vega grinned. "Shepard, I don't know if Cerberus rebuilt you to spec or not, but everything's open for business now." He laughed at the face she made. "You know - we take a _hell_ of a lot of hard falls in our line of work. It wouldn't surprise me if they _did_ bring you back... undamaged... and something _else_ happened to... damage you." Eliza frowned again. "Lola-" he waited until she looked up, "It was a _legitimate_ concern. Now we know." He pivoted and stepped to the door. As it slid open, he was relieved to see no one was lurking out there, wondering what the CO and XO had been up to. He turned back to add, "Couple more sessions like that, you won't have to worry about the fit, either."

Her jaw dropped and she blushed bright red. James whistled as he walked to the elevator. 

_Este es un buen día._

\--

Vega messaged Lieutenant Moreau even before he got out at Deck Two.

**VEGA: i'm back online now. i owe you a beer. TWO beers. will try my best not to let it happen again**

There was a slightly-longer-than-expected pause - in which James had to wonder if Joker was sublimely _pissed_ \- before a reply came.

**_JJM: not a problem. picked up a bunch of stuff in the nearby systems, but waited to pull the trigger on Aethon Cluster until you were back on duty because EDI said the probability of survivors was high._ **  
**_EDI: Seventy-five-point-three percent, XO Vega. Given our current space considerations, Jeff and I thought it prudent to consult with you and Shepard before proceeding._ **

_Huh. Yeah._ Vega nodded to Primarch Victus and Wrex as he passed through the War Room to the diplomatic wing. _Diplomatic Wing. An extremely polite name for a tiny corridor that Krogan can barely fit through, leading to two tiny staterooms that Krogan can barely fit **in**_. He blinked as he registered the new doorways. _OK, **six** tiny staterooms._

He took a hard right and washed his face and hands in the equally-tiny Diplomatic Lavatory.

**VEGA: we always have the shuttle bay. i just got down to Port side. i'll mention it to Cortez.**  
**_JJM: let me know when we're a go_ **  
**VEGA: no, it's fine. we're a go. we'll be heading to the Citadel after we castrate Cerberus on Tuchanka. we can drop off passengers**  
**_JJM: you don't want to... ask Shepard?_ **

_OK... he's trolling, right? Or does he... maybe just want to know if she's OK?_

**VEGA: it's her rest period, Joker. she's asleep. when she's up again at 14:00, i'll check in with her, see how long she intended us to stay at the Citadel, but you SHOULD be able to get your sleep period AND some shore leave**  
**_JJM: i'm not worried about THAT, Vega. just over-running her ship with refugees and having her wake up and yell 'WHERE DID ALL THESE VOLUS COME FROM'_ **

James laughed. Then he sobered, nodding at Donnelly as the Scot popped his head out of one of the new staterooms and looked like he was about to start updating Vega on their progress. The XO raised his typing hand, asking the engineer, wordlessly, to wait.

**VEGA: it will be fine. there will be no yelling. let's just go get them**  
**_JJM: course already laid. Relay in five. but this one's on you, Vega._ **  
**_JJM: btw, your building crew enjoying the fact that EDI managed to restore power down there? you gonna tell them who was responsible for THAT one?_ **

_Pinche jerk._

**VEGA: gotta go, Joker. if we're still in FTL around Aethon when Shepard gets up, feel free to fall unconscious**

_And thanks for not reading me the riot act._

\--

Cortez was cautiously optimistic about their chances of finishing the staterooms tonight... once he had access to the hydraulics and fine servos they needed to rig doors. He also suggested that the doors lock, which Vega approved in the specs. James was far more concerned that each space have _lights_ and _beds_. Though it appeared every stateroom but Mordin's was going to be mostly bunk.

 _So, yeah, 'cell' is a pretty appropos word, but at least - once each room has a door - they will be private and secure places to sleep._ Vega had felt especially committed to the part of the plan where the Krogan nick-named 'Eve' got a space of her own; a place she could retreat to, in between the salarian's exams and tests.

"I told Eve earlier that she could have the Turian's guard room, but I'm thinking she might actually prefer the new room closest to Mordin. It doesn't seem like he's going to let her leave MedBay today, so if you're telling me these will probably have doors tomorrow, let's wait on cleaning out the guard quarters."

"We still have three more Krogan to accommodate."

"They'll sleep in shifts, like the Turians. Like Joker, Shepard, and I." James saw an opening to slip Cortez into that rotation, mention to him that he'd appreciate some semi-sanctioned _overlap_ with Eliza's rest periods... but he felt uncomfortable bringing it up with Mueller and Donnelly only a few meters away.

Esteban made a 'follow me' gesture, slid halfway down the claustrophobic hallway. "Level with me. I'm going into that rotation somewhere." He met Vega's gaze squarely. "Aren't I?"

James couldn't help it; his face split into a huge grin, and Cortez snorted. But he also returned Vega's smile. "Congratulations... I _think_." He sighed. "All right, Mr. Vega. I'm in. When you work it out on paper, we'll all sit down and talk about it."

James nodded, turned to leave, then remembered the other thing he wanted to tell Esteban. "Oh, I don't know if you've checked Requisitions today, but Shepard made good."

Cortez cocked his head. "And by that you mean...?"

Vega grinned again. "Right before we - um - _went to nap_ , Shepard jumped on the Procurement Terminal and ordered your new Kodiak. It should _also_ be waiting for us at the Citadel later." James arched a brow. "I knew she'd hacked some credits out of STG, but I guess her running total finally added up to the exorbitant price the Alliance suppliers wanted."

Esteban blinked in surprise. He closed his eyes and when he reopened them, Vega could see they'd gone shiny, like two little summer lakes.

_Aw, hell. I never know what's gonna make this guy tear up._

"That was pretty damn thoughtful of her, Mr. Vega. Make sure you tell her I said so, if I get caught up in renovations, and forget."

James nodded. He slid further toward the War Room, and then stopped. He grinned and tossed back over his shoulder, "I _guess_ a shuttle is a pretty nice present, but it's still not as good as an _Atlas_."

\--

After leaving Cortez and the ensigns, James got caught up in leading an away team down to Irune to secure the Book of Plenix, an artifact Shepard had tagged as being a special request by one of the Citadel Ambassadors. Vega also took a mixed group of Engineering and Crew's Services people down to the surface of Cherk Sab, to recover a massive pair of machines that EDI insisted would be incredibly useful for the Crucible Project. Vega hoped like hell the AI was correct, because the behemoths took up a sizeable chunk of real estate in the Cargo Bay.

He left orders with the Marine detachment that those machines needed guards if they ended up with a bunch of Volus passengers camping out in the Shuttle Bay. Then he returned to the War Room with the second of two huge boxes of parts Mueller had scrounged off the abandoned Volus base. James suspected the words "Huh... these may work" had never before caused quite as much rejoicing.

"All right, if you think you can get a door on Mordin's room and Eve's room before we have to leave for Tuchanka in a couple hours, I'm going to go tell them about the change of quarters." Vega stretched, managed to whack an arm against the ceiling, swore, and glared at Esteban as the pilot snorted out a laugh.

"Watch your head, _pendejo_ ," Cortez advised wryly.

James arched a brow at him, and said sarcastically, "Gracias."

There was actual glee in Cortez' voice as he responded, _"De nada."_

\--

Vega grabbed two extra blankets from storage and headed back to Medbay. He called out "Hello, Mordin," but walked past the salarian to give the blankets directly to the female Krogan, reclining patiently on her biobed. "I hope these will make you more comfortable in here, until Doc releases you to quarters."

Eve received them with a slight nod... and what Vega could have sworn was a knowing smile. "Thank you, Lieutenant. I hope your morning was productive?"

James did a double-take, felt his face flush. _What the **hell** \- is 'I got laid' written on my back, or something?_

"It - uh - was, thank you. We've had a crew working on the port side for a few hours, and the rough alterations are almost done. You have a better room now, Lady. Though-" Vega cleared his throat and met her eyes, defying her to somehow intuit that he _hadn't_ been directly involved in those changes, "- it doesn't have an actual _door_ yet. It should, though - later tonight."

The Krogan's eyes flashed, and James again felt the uncanny assurance that she could see right through him. "A shaman understands that everything happens in the correct time, XO Vega."

He groaned silently. _OK... I clearly **should** have done more than wash my face and hands. I **should** have showered. Too late now._

James nodded sheepishly at the female Krogan and turned to leave, only to realize Mordin had crept up directly behind him once again. He jumped slightly, failed to prevent a startled "Gah!" from escaping.

"Excellent. Mentioned to Shepard extra blanket would be appreciated. Good to see crew on top of needs." The doctor eyed him speculatively, and then - to Vega's supreme discomfort - ran his omni-tool over him. "Healing fractures. New damage. Away missions quiet. Scent markers-"

James, feeling himself flush again, quickly interrupted the salarian. "Mordin, your quarters also exist now, with access to your old equipment. I'm afraid it's just a bare bunk... with a gel electropheresis machine for a side table. I don't think the Alliance expected us to be making major alterations; we lacked the parts to install doors. But we scrounged some stuff on the last planet, and we'll be stopping at the Citadel for shuttle repair parts in any event."

The scientist was still scanning him with the omni-tool, lips slightly pursed. "Citadel visit appreciated. Can acquire laboratory reagents. Thank you."

James glanced over at the Krogan... shaman? She was eyeing her salarian protector dubiously. Vega shrugged at her, and she nodded back at him with a quiet snort.

"OK, uh, Mordin. I believe we're heading to Widow once we take out the Cerberus installation on Tuchanka. We're just waiting for sunrise." James reflexively asked "Was there anything else?" He _knew_ the words were a mistake, even as they left his lips.

"Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters. Aware that you and Shepard are sexually active. Or planning to be. Suggest caution. Emotionally-unstable biotics dangerous during intercourse."

 _MIERDA. **What**?_ "Uh. I just- You know-"

Mordin continued to look at the read-out on his omni-tool and Vega wondered exactly _how_ much information one could find out about his sexual habits through a medical scan. "Of course. Hormones. Will be here to set broken bones later."

James found himself unable to speak. He heard himself laugh nervously instead. It only got worse when Mordin continued, "Can give biotic inhibitor to dampen neural receptors, weaken unintentional biotic effects-"

 _BAD IDEA._ "What!? No!"

Mordin was still talking. "-no guarantees. Suggest padding walls."

_**Holy. Hell.** Though... uh... that might have been useful. More than once._

Mordin raised his omni-tool again, hit a few buttons. "Biotic ability also gives benefits. Forwarding booklet to your quarters. Includes diagrams, exercises, inventive uses of mass effect fields..."

Suddenly, all James could think about was Kaidan and Shepard. Finding inventive uses of mass effect fields. "Nevermind."

"Doctor." Eve spoke up, her voice was quiet but firm. "You're embarrassing the Lieutenant."

"Why? If going to perform sexual acts, should take precautions. No issue with time spent. Performance of duty excellent: food, blanket, access to equipment. However-"

_Me quiero matar..._

" **Doctor.** " The female Krogan got _loud_. James could feel his face _burning_ ; Eve was looking at _him_ , not Mordin.

Vega met her eyes briefly, glanced at the floor, then at the now-blessedly-quiet scientist.

"I should go."

\--

James realized Shepard was awake and running around when she texted him.

**_SHEP: you OK? did you go for more medigel?_ **  
**VEGA: i feel fine, Lola. i didn't need another lecture from Chakwas**

_And still ended up getting one from **Mordin**._

**_SHEP: ah_ **  
**_SHEP: saw you went down to Irune and Cherk Sab. if we have any more, i'll go. OK?_ **

Vega blinked as he read this. Wondered why it felt like she was asking his permission. An uneasy feeling gripped his gut.

**VEGA: you're still the CO, Shepard. it's your call**  
**_SHEP: i'd like to avoid an argument with you over stuff that doesn't matter. if we're gonna fight today, i'd rather it be over stuff that DOES matter_ **

James felt that strange chest pain again, reading her message. _She'd want harmony with her Executive Officer no matter **who** it was. This isn't JUST because you slept together. You've been fighting her over away mission assignments since you came on board. This isn't all that odd._

Now all he had to do was believe it.

**VEGA: there are no long-range transmissions indicating Reaper troops are still fighting in Aethon. the system appears to have been mostly evacuated. if you want to lead the next away missions, be my guest. if you get your butt shot off, don't say i didn't offer to go**  
**_SHEP: :P_ **

Vega involuntarily chuckled loudly, then cleared his throat as the Sergent washing his hands in the lavatory glanced his way. "Sorry - text from someone." The Marine nodded, saluted awkwardly, and left.

_I'm going to get a rep in Crew Quarters if this keeps up..._

\--

He felt better for having showered. He threw a uniform back on, just in case, even though he realized he missed both his workouts and his mundane work in the Armory more than he'd realized. He'd considered putting on a T-shirt and going downstairs for a bit... but what if Shepard needed him after all? They were almost to Esori. What if one of the planets actually _was_ concealing Reaper troops?

Not ten minutes later, EDI was scanning Solu Paolis, and - as they approached - they were hailed by a huge ship that seemed to appear out of no where. It bore Volus insignia; Vega realized it was the _Kwunu_ , the only Volus-built Dreadnought in existence. Standing next to her in the CIC, he quietly opined to Shepard "This is a coup. We need to help them." In James' estimation, it was a miracle the ship had somehow managed to escape the Reapers.

Eliza nodded back, indicating to Traynor that she should patch through their Captain; the feminine voice that greeted them was a surprise. The three of them quickly discussed what the _Kwunu_ needed in terms of aid, and Vega messaged Esteban.

**VEGA: uh, SMALL change of plans. i need you to prep the shuttle and take Adams and Daniels over to the Kwunu, along with as much fuel as the Normandy can spare, while still allowing us to get back to Anu**  
**_CORT: you're shitting me, right? i'm bracing a door panel that Mueller ALMOST has set, and you want me to prep the shuttle?_ **

James sighed, loudly. _We are so strung out._

**VEGA: you're right. stay there. i'll take them over**  
**_CORT: be DAMN careful with that shuttle, Mr. Vega_ **  
**VEGA: :P**

\--

While James hadn't loved taking the time to _dock_ with the _Kwunu_ , it had gone smoothly in the end. He'd also found it amusing that no one bothered to wake Joker up for the procedure. EDI did all the maneuvering on their end, and Adams (after Vega shuttled him over) assisted his Volus counterpart on the Dreadnought's side. Once _docked_ , it was easy to transfer the fuel and repair parts. And, as a _bonus_ , James was finally able to make _use_ of his new Atlas; he quickly moved the huge fabrication units _out_ of their Shuttle Bay, onto the _Kwunu_. Since the Volus vessel had already pledged itself to joining the Alliance fleet, it seemed likely the construction machinery would end up being put into production on the Crucible much faster if moved to the other ship, anyway.

Shepard wasn't quite as quiescent about it as Adams and Daniels were, but the _Kwunu_ waited for them in Solu Paolis, while _Normandy_ underwent the quick FTL flight to Satu Arrd. That system _finally_ yielded the groups of survivors who'd been sending out transmissions. On the planet Nalisin, nearly two dozen engineers had secreted themselves in a shielded underground bunker, and it was a matter of a few shuttle flights to retrieve them. By this point, two sets of stateroom doors had been installed - or nearly so - and Cortez was happy to return to being a pilot.

This shuttle operation was repeated when the _Normandy_ got to Riler and discovered that a group of VDF Support Specialists - the Volus' answer to SpecOps - had survived planetary bombardment undetected but had missed being evac'd. James reluctantly pressed Traynor into helping him situate and feed the forty Volus now roaming the ship, a task made more difficult once the crew realized their newest refugees were tactical experts, and each possessed of their own cloaking technology. Vega tried not to laugh openly as Samantha interrogated EDI about ways to track and corral the curious Volus.

About an hour later, the _Normandy_ made it back to Solu Paolis, and gratefully exchanged the Volus passengers for the return of Adams and Daniels. Vega felt better about the entire affair when the Chief Engineer expressed privately that he was impressed with Donnelly's handling of the engines while both he and Daniels were away. The _Kwunu_ was happy to have the Volus engineers on board... and James was _almost_ certain they'd managed to flush out and transfer every VDF SpecOps member.

Almost.

\--

Since EDI determined Nura was unlikely to contain survivors, they proceeded directly back to Aru. Vega felt a huge weight off his shoulders once the Dreadnought hit the Relay. Joker woke up, and started to complain about being allowed to sleep through a _docking procedure_ , but Eliza apparently talked him down.

**_SHEP: Joker's awake. unhappy about missing all the fancy flying, but when i told him you'd managed to operate your new mech AND the Kodiak without crashing anything, he was less disappointed_ **

James snorted.

**VEGA: tell him he can redeem himself by helping EDI track down the two Volus we may have missed. i swear i'm starting to think i miscounted**  
**_SHEP: lol_ **  
**_SHEP: if we DID miss them, they'll have to un-cloak sometime, and EDI will find them. she has cameras all over the ship, remember?_ **  
**VEGA: given my day, hard to forget**  
**_SHEP: not in my quarters, though. we discussed that_ **

James thought about it. Shook his head as he remembered Mordin. And Cortez. And Joker.

**VEGA: not sure it matters. what's the ETA on Tuchanka?**

Suddenly his chime went off; he slapped his wrist. "Ye-es?"

"You're supposed to be heading to bed."

Vega arched a brow, then realized it was silly to be looking at his arm as if she could see him when he hadn't turned on the holo. "You want to make me go to bed, you'd do a better job of it in person. Come down to the Shuttle Bay and hunt Volus with me. I hear a successful hunt can be quite stimulating. As a bonus, there's only four hundred thousand places for them to hide down here."

He heard her laugh, and it made him smile. Her voice was serious, however, when she spoke again. "James, you're on a sleep period. ANYONE can go with me to roust Cerberus."

He sighed. _What happened to not having this argument?_

"Sure... anyone _could_. But I _am_."

There was a quiet pause, a loud sigh, and then capitulation. "If you promise to see Chakwas immediately afterward, take whatever stims she suggests, a sedative if you need it, and extend your sleep period to six hours."

_What the FUCK?_

"Should I also eat my vegetables, take my vitamins, and brush my teeth?" Yeah, it was pure sarcasm, but what did she think she was playing at?

"Sure. All those things, too."

Behind him, Esteban was laughing, and James toggled the connection closed. He was about to yell at the shuttle pilot when Cortez said quietly "You're in an interesting situation now, _pendejo_. If you're _smart_ , you'll learn to pick your battles, keep the Commander _very_ happy." He waggled his eyebrows, and James frowned.

_Pinche asshole._

He hit the button on his wrist again and grated out "Fine. Six hours. But when were _you_ going back to sleep?"

A snort came through the speaker. "Oh, I'll overlap you by a bit, I reckon."

His eyes met Esteban's. The latter man grinned, shrugged, and mouthed "Told. You. So."

\--

The skies of Tuchanka around the canon fortifications were only just beginning to lighten when they flew the shuttle down to the surface.

The away team climbed out of the shuttle. Cortez was the first one to vocalize what they'd all realized: "Looks like Cerberus got that cannon operational, Commander. I'll go back up, get a read on what they're shooting at."

Shepard whispered harshly into her omni-tool, "Get on it." She glanced to the side, said to James and Garrus, "All right, let's find the control room for those cannons. Kill _anything_ in our way."

_Wow. OK. Yeah. We're a little pissed at Cerberus all right._

The statement didn't seem to phase Garrus at all. "Sounds simple enough."

When Shepard finally found the first Cerberus trooper, lingering in a doorway and completely ignorant of their arrival, she didn't desitate, throwing a Reave at him where he stood. And then the shooting started.

"Commander, I have a visual on an inbound Cerberus Cruiser. The cannon fire is clearing the way. If that ship makes it to bombardment range, the Krogan resistance is in trouble."

"Keep track of it, Lieutenant."

" **On it**."

They fought their way up into the gun control room. At some point, Vega stumbled backward as a explosion flung crates outward about five meters in front of him. He glanced back, realizing Shepard had flung some biotically-charged grenades into the base of the control room.

_And... this is why people don't lightly piss Eliza off._

The made it to the top of the tower. Shepard called out "Control Center Secure. And I think it's time to test this canon." She fired up the gun... only to realize Cerberus had cut the power.

James swore under his breath. "They're pullin' the plug!"

Cortez, bastion of the obvious, spoke over all their omni-tools. "You'll need to get the power back on."

_Thanks, Esteban. We'd be lost without you._

Eliza yelled out "Let's move!"... only to duck behind the barricades at the top of the tower as the size of the Cerberus force became evident. They sniped and Reaved the invaders as they climbed up; Vega watched in nauseous awe as Shepard literally imploded two Dragoons in succession, as they each hopped off the ladder. 

Eventually they reached the electrical boxes, shot off the latches, and restored power.

The battle back to the control room was bloodier still. At some point, James realized the Eliza was graved injured, and yet hadn't administered medigel. _I don't dare distract her right now, but we're going to talk about **that** later, too. You don't get to harp on me to use medigel for something minor and then go through a battle gravely wounded without ever using ANY._

Just as they finally cleared out the control room, Cortez' frantic voice warned them "Commander, Cruiser initiating bombardment!"

Shepard hopped on the gun station. "Getting control restored. Targeting enabled. Coordinates, Lieutenant."

Steve sounded shaky but determined as he yelled "Uploaded!"

Whereas, Eliza was a dispassionate granite block as she responded, "Firing."

Still struggling to contain his delight, Esteban proclaimed " _Direct_ starboard hit, Commander! Target breaking up. Repeat, _direct hit_."

Vega couldn't contain his victory dance either, emphatically stating "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

"All right. Good work everyone."

\--

Vega found himself peeking out the window as the shuttle docked, anticipating Dr. Karin Chakwas descending on them any second. But when the hatch opened... she was no where in sight.

 _If I'm fast, maybe I can avoid yet another embarrassing omni-tool scan. Then again, I could probably pass off any lingering damage as an after-effect of the away mission._ James snorted. _Unless the reason she's not here is because she has bio-readouts of the fight and KNOWS I wasn't badly injured._

This thought made James remember Eliza's state of health during the latter half of the mission. His jaw set. He turned toward her, "I need to check on Mueller... see if the staterooms are as done as they're going to get before a Citadel parts run, and figure out which one of us is doing the gear overhaul. I could also use another shower. Meet me back here in twenty?"

Eliza paused in the middle of methodically entering code sequences and shrugging off various armor pieces, "I want to make sure Engineering was set to rights after the Volus incursion, see if anyone found our two missing stragglers." She blinked as Garrus slipped into the elevator; they both knew the Turian had taken a great deal of fire. "And now I apparently need to chase down Garrus and make sure he self-medicates and gets sleep. Or send Chakwas after him."

Vega bit his tongue. _Call her on it LATER._

\--

James had just finished checking up on the new staterooms, was grabbing food, when Chakwas found him. He had just assured Mueller that - if the ensign could indeed jury-rig them - the door locks were priority. He'd told Frank that the gear check could wait. Vega didn't bother sharing the admission that he missed doing simple armor repair... and that he'd more than likely just do it himself.

"Here you are." The doctor didn't _exactly_ sneak up behind him in the Mess, but it was a near thing.

 _Mierda._ "Yes, here I am." James sighed, putting his plate down on the counter and sardonically raising his arms. The omni-tool was already scanning him, and James waited patiently for a scolding.

"Hm. Could be worse. Legs look solid; bone repairs from the Leviathan mission appear to be holding-" she frowned, "-except vertebral facet joints... _again_." She frowned at him. "How many hard falls did you take on Tuchanka that the Commander's vid missed?"

 _Ahhhhhhhh._ "So you only reviewed Shepard's cam footage?"

Chakwas nodded. "Those Cerberus Dragoons are _brutal_. I need to track her down, next."

James smiled in satisfaction. "Please _do_. Try to get through to her that using a dose of medigel **during a fight** could save her damn life."

The doctor eyed Vega measuringly. "I will. Though... she doesn't always listen to me. I think you had _also_ better tell her that."

James groaned, sighed, and nodded. He threw the last piece of sushi on his plate into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "I need to get back to the Shuttle Bay and run armor checks. She's supposed to meet me down there in a few minutes."

"Hmmm." Chakwas appeared to be considering her options. "All right." She handed him two more doses of medigel. "Make sure she injects these; we'll call it a done deal." She eyed him skeptically. "You're supposed to be on a sleep period, Executive Officer Vega."

James snorted. "I know, I know. As soon as the Armory is put to rights."

Karin turned to leave, then swung back. "By the way, I sent you and Shepard a message about getting more medical staff. Someone I met during my tenure at Alliance R&D on the Citadel wants to come on board the Normandy, and I think her expertise would be... useful."

Vega nodded deliberately. "Which is?"

Chakwas met his eyes steadily. "Biotics. Dr. Sedanna V'Leera is nearly three hundred years old, and has been studying biotic neurology for two centuries. She's been doing cultural exchanges with human biotic training facilities for the last two decades. Her techniques for helping human biotics gain control of their abilities have been widely adopted at places such as Grissom." Karin's stare became more intense. "I wrote her months ago, after the trial, when her aid seemed more... imperative. Still, I can't help but think her assistance might yet prove... valuable."

_Remember, she knows. She doesn't need the damn omni-tool data - she SAW you approach Eliza in Medbay. She knows about the Null Room. She's been Eliza's doctor for YEARS. So, yeah. This could be a Good Thing._

"I'll approve her transfer when I get back to my workstation. We don't have to bother Shepard with the details. I'll probably be asleep when we dock at the Citadel, but - if she's ready to come aboard - you can go fetch V'Leera. My authority."

Chakwas smiled brilliantly. "Thank you, James. Much of what Shepard has gone through has been far outside my realm of expertise. This could make a real difference. I appreciate your trust."

_Yeah, well. Let's hope we both don't end up paying a price for our caution. I'd hate to extend you my trust, only to make Eliza feel like I don't trust **her**._

\--

Clean, shaven, wishing he could drag his CO into a dark corner, James went through ship's logs at his workstation, and listened as Eliza played with the _pinche_ varren again. Apparently, she'd taught it to sit on command.

_Never thought I'd compare myself to a varren._

Esteban suddenly piped up, "Wish you could have seen that gun on Tuchanka, first-hand. I cut the auditory emulators, and watched that Cerberus Cruiser gracefully - and silently - disintegrate. _Beautiful_."

 _Puta madre, Esteban._ Vega blanched and called over, "Sometimes I worry about you, man."

Eliza continued approaching him. He tried to finish up the stuff on his board, knowing she was on the verge of accusing him of not being in bed, wondering whether or not he was going to try to get her to come with him after all. To distract her, he commented "Parts of Tuchanka reminded me of the desert back home. The lizards and worms are bigger, but- the sand, and everything."

Shepard snorted. "Everything is bigger on Tuchanka."

He turned to face her, leaning his left hip on the counter. He let his face slide into an evil grin. " _Everything_?"

She snorted again. "Not always a good result, Lieutenant."

James laughed. "Explosions, at least." He arched a brow. "'Cept when they're caused by _you_. You did a lot better avoiding getting blown up by grenades today. Threw some of your own, too, didn't you?"

Eliza shrugged. "I'd been wanting to try that again for a bit." She shifted, looking uncomfortable in James' eyes. "It's too easy to get caught up in Reave. I forget I have a lot of tools in my tool-belt."

_If that's not the best opening I'm going to get, I'll eat my shotgun._

"Chakwas was watching your feed. She gave me a couple doses of medigel for you, told me to make sure you take them, or she'll be after you, next." He paused, then added, "I _might_ have pointed out that you spent the latter half of that fight _bleeding out_." 

Shepard arched a brow at him and said, sarcastically, "Great. _Thanks_."

 _Time for some tough love._ "Well... you're a _hypocrite_ , Lola. You keep harping on me to have a care for my bones, when I'm _well_ aware of what melee will do to me. And there you are, refusing to stop and take a stim in the middle of a _pitched battle_... when you're **bleeding**."

Eliza flushed. Vega tried not to let his body react to it, given their topic of conversation.

"I forget, that's all." she murmured. "I get wound up. When... I'm taking in energy from Reave... there's this... rush, and I... I forget it's not actually healing everything."

James contemplated this confession. _That explains... a lot._ He realized he needed more time to digest it, and moved on.

"She also mentioned new medical personnel she'd like to bring aboard. They're currently on the Citadel, but eager to join us. I OK'd it, and told her to manage the transfer when we get there, since I'll be out cold." He gestured over to Steve. "Esteban also knows about the new Kodiak you ordered, so he'll be in charge of receiving that."

Cortez proved he was eavesdropping again when he yelled out, "Oh, yeah! Thanks, Shepard!" 

Eliza and James looked at each other, and both snort-laughed at the same time.

"Lastly, Mordin told me earlier that the new lab space is 'acceptable', but he also has things he needs to pick up from the Citadel. Something about... reagents? I think that was the word he used." Vega frowned. "He's, uh, still speaking a little fast."

Shepard grinned back at him. "Ahhh. Well, yeah. That's part of the charm, though." She turned to leave the shuttle bay, and then stopped to add "You should ask him about Gilbert and Sullivan."

_Gilbert and Sullivan?_

Vega quickly caught up with her, grabbed her arm, and gently turned her around. "Not even a 'good night'?" he murmured.

Eliza grinned. "Sweet dreams, James." She leaned into his frame, stretching up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He went to close his arms around her, thinking _Fuck it, I don't care WHAT anyone sees right now_ , when she was just as suddenly no longer standing in front of him, but off to the side. He could have sworn he heard her whisper "I'll see you... _later_ ," before she ran off to the elevator.

_Esta ha sido la semana más larga de mi vida..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIMELINE:
> 
> ~10:45 that thing you've all been waiting for starts here. assume Joker in charge of the Normandy post-STG base mission; he has access to the Journal/log and is prioritizing their pick-ups/scheduling their Relay jumps accordingly. Javik will lead an away mission to recover another Prothean artifact. also assume the Shadow Broker is having her teams pick up stuff for these missions, and dropping it at Citadel Bay 24.
> 
> ~12:00 Vega hits the wall.
> 
> ~12:15 Vega back on duty. plan to be back to Krogan DMZ around daybreak at gun site. timezone for that region is directly opposite (12 hours off) MST.
> 
> ~12:30 Vega checks in on staterooms. route to Mordin's equipment is open.
> 
> ~13:00: James mission to Irune
> 
> ~13:30: James mission to Cherk Sab
> 
> ~14:00 Normandy finished in Aru, goes to FTL. Eliza wakes up; Joker begins sleep period. Shepard checks in with Javik after Prothean artifact mission, also Allers because yelling. Garrus, injuries. James checks in with Cortez, then Mordin and Eve. Eliza ends up outside Medbay and will hear part of James' conversation with Mordin.
> 
> ~14:30: (30 m) FTL to Esori. contacted by Volus Dreadnought Kwunu in orbit of Solu Paolis, in need of some technical expertise and escort. shuttle over Adams and Daniels (15 min). docked Normandy (10 min). transfer fuel and fabrication units (20 min). they remain in system when Normandy goes to Satu Arrd.
> 
> ~16:00: finally located survivors (engineers) on Nalisin.
> 
> ~16:30: also survivors on Rilar; VDF Support SpecOps brought on board. many immediately disappear.
> 
> ~18:00 FTL back to rendezvous with _Kwunu_. Cortez begins flying Volus over, and brings Daniels and Adams back aboard. Kwunu hits the Relay. Joker will wake up, and mourn missing the entire thing.
> 
> ~18:15 James insists he's going down to Tuchanka - it's finally daylight, and time to deal with Cerberus incursion.
> 
> ~19:00 gun fires, Cerberus is thwarted. errands. James and Shepard catch up in Shuttle Bay. James supposed to go into his extended sleep period.
> 
> VIDEO EDITS & WARNINGS: https://youtu.be/TsyE-1WzVqs
> 
> (1) i tend to write sex scenes that feature conversation and accurate biological terminology. both mean this chapter could be considered explicit. if you want to avoid it, feel free to scroll past the first section and check out the tags as to what happened. i'm trying to tag more accurately.
> 
> (2) shout-out to realism: using research on MRP (male refractory period) and a timer during read-through to make sure the narrative isn't insanely optimistic. for the curious: a man in their 20s + a first encounter with a new, highly-desired partner + first orgasm that isn't (technically) intercourse = five minutes possible (just not optimal, for James, in this situation).
> 
> (3) new scene where Shepard overhears Mordin and James talking was created by piecing audio from ME 2 and 3 and video from ME3. i'd love people who haven't been watching the playthrough videos to _at least_ go watch this one. i'm stupidly proud of it. i also adore the fact that Mordin's advice is _spot-on_ , but perhaps a bit too late.
> 
> (4) just as i wrote a bathroom into the airlock because IT SHOULD BE THERE, try to imagine there's an opening midway through the War Room (just past Wrex) that turns into a hallway. off this passage is a series of tiny, cell-like "staterooms", culminating in a slightly larger room (where the old Armory used to be) that will become Mordin's ancillary lab space. i get TPTB wanting to re-vamp the SR-2, but the new design loses a TON of space to BS priorities at the SAME TIME that the Normandy begins taking on a bunch of important passengers. whose HORRIBLE idea was this?
> 
> (5) i didn't invent the VDF (Volus SpecOps); they appear to be canon? and **cool**. 
> 
> (6) Dr. Sedanna V'Leera is a creation of EGM. but a convenient one, given this Shepard's issues.
> 
> (7) yeah, there's more sex in coming chapters. no, that isn't a pun. but it should be.
> 
> (8) this was a pretty long Chapter and a bit emotionally-draining, especially when juxtaposed with some Life Crap (tm), so while i'm sorry the story is taking a bit longer to write, i'd really rather keep the quality high and take a bit longer, than rush it and have it degenerate. thanks for your understanding!
> 
> SPANISH:
> 
> todavía me matarás ~ you will yet kill me  
> hay un Dios ~ there is a God  
> Ahora eres mía ~ now you're mine  
> Eso fue increíble ~ that was awesome/incredible  
> Este es un buen día ~ this is a good day  
> Esta ha sido la semana más larga de mi vida ~ this has been the longest week of my life


End file.
